r/AskOldPeopleAdvice

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Hello ! I am a 26 year old woman & at times I feel , lack of quality companionship is making me feel quite gloomy and low. I don't know how to cope with this feeling. Any advice on this, will be much appreciated!

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My partner and I have been together for 4 years and are getting to the point where we’re talking about engagement/etc. I’m in my mid-late 20s. I love him so much and we have a pretty solid relationship. I have never been sure if I wanted kids, I basically raised my younger brother and haven’t crossed all the things off my to-do list like travel etc. But at the same time sometimes I look at my partner and how he interacts with his niece and nephew and the thought of us not having kids feels sad? And growing old without having a “family” also seems sad. But also I’m not the most organized person on my own most days and sometimes my pet even annoys me having to get up and feed her breakfast in the morning, when she breaks something, etc lol. Also the thought of raising a kid in this current day and age seems terrifying and stressful as hell. I always felt like once I got to my 30s I’d know and maybe I will, but in the meantime I’m in a relationship where my partner is pretty sure he does not want kids and I want to progress with him but… we don’t know about kids. He was back and forth on kids for a bit but I think if he had it his way it’d be a no. Mainly for financial reasons. Maybe I won’t want kids still either (I sure don’t right this second) but the thought of waking up one day and regretting it or realizing I do want kids too far into this stresses me out. But I don’t want to risk my relationship if it turns out I didn’t want kids anyways. How did you know if you did or didn’t?

I'm feeling lost.. what does it mean to be 33? I want to just be.

For context im from the los angeles area. Im becoming an aircraft mechanic (graduating tech school soon). I love what i do but live in constant grief everyday knowing that i might have to leave my family and my home for an opportunity one day and move far away. I dont have children (24m) or a girlfriend or anything but i love my family and really cant imagine leaving them. Any advice or similar stories would help. Thank you.

Hello everyone.

I am a 36F woman, mother of a 4 years old. I was cheated on by the dad of my daugther while pregnant and divorced.

Î finally had the courage to get out there and try to be in a relationship. It went well and we got along. He went through a divorce recently and he is in therapy but he îs still hurt. He also works a lot and struggles with some newly found health issues.

We finally decided to be intimate and it was great and spent most of the night talking. He did open up a bit too much in my opinion, but I listened. The 2nd day was fine, but then, the 3 rd day he told me that he feels very guilty that he moved too fast, that he îs very overwhelmed by everything now, included by our relationship and that he needs to get some order in his life. He then briefly reached out just to see how i am, the 2nd day I reached out but he was again brief and coldish and the 3 rd day i told him that I am here if he needs anything. he hearted my text and since then radio silence. 6 days passed with no communication.

I truly feel horrible. For me, being intimate is a big deal and I feel used. I understand that he is overwhelmed now but this silence is breaking me. I do not want to chase him or to overwhelm him more, but I feel that I want some closure. Should I just leave things as they are and interpret his silence as a breakup?

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but after my first real relationship ended, it’s like something shifted in how I see everything.

He was my first boyfriend, my first in a lot of ways. And even though I know logically that we broke up for a reason, there’s this feeling I can’t shake… like I won’t ever find someone “better.” Not even better, just… someone who feels the same.

It’s weird because I know there are so many people out there. I know I’m young and life goes on and all that. But emotionally, it feels like I already had my person and lost him. Like what if that was it for me?

I catch myself comparing everyone to him, even when I don’t want to. And no one seems to measure up—not because they’re lacking, but because they’re not Him. And I hate that feeling.

Does this go away? Or do you just learn to live with it?

Back during the lockdown I stopped being very social and never recovered really. I’ve been locked inside my room and now trying to rebuild a social life. I was considering reaching out to my old best friend, but fear got in the way. At the time of the lockdown we fell out because I felt like she had some animosity towards me and there was this competitive energy. I brushed it of thinking maybe we hung out too often and that’s what caused it. Anyway once I stopped reaching out she never did either and we didn’t talk. She reached out to me recently.

In the meantime I rekindled with a friend from high school who only seems to hang out with me now when her main friend group isn’t free, we were close at first but it’s a whole story. I hardly see her at this point. So the friend of the first paragraph who reached out to me, she asked to meet. We did and it was really nice, then she texted me saying I should tell her if I’m free next week. So I did. Then the third time I reach out to her again. And each time we meet she’s like oh we should do something again. But I’m usually texting.

The thing is I get that adult friendships are different, but it sometimes feels on me to reach out. I see she’s rekindling with many people on her social media and I’m happy for her. She also babysits right now and my work schedule is a bit different so I told myself: well maybe she wants to see if your schedules align that’s why she puts it on you. But idk how to feel about it. Do you think I should reach out to her? It’s been like 2 weeks. I also feel I tend to be the one asking to plan in a few friendships I have

I’m grieving a relationship I haven’t left yet, and I don’t know how to move forward.

My partner is genuinely one of the best people I’ve ever met. He’s thoughtful, generous, emotionally present, communicative. We love each other’s families and care about each other deeply. There’s no betrayal or cruelty or red flags.

But I’ve been building a certain kind of life which is specific in terms of where I want to live, how I want to work, and the world I want to be embedded in, and I don’t think our paths are compatible. We also don’t share the intellectual connection I’ve always felt I needed with a partner. He says he’ll go wherever I go, and I believe him, but I’m afraid that kind of sacrifice will eventually lead to resentment on both sides.

He’s my best friend, and the thought of leaving fills me with grief. At the same time, I’m already grieving the life I imagined if I stay. That’s with no fault of his, which somehow makes it harder.

I feel like both options lead to a loss I won’t recover from. Has anyone been through something like this? How did you move forward when there was no good choice, only two different kinds of grief? Was the grief/regret as strong as you imagined it would be?

I’m stuck at a min wage job, small social circle which I go out Mabye once a month, no relationship and no school.

I can't talk to my mom coz she's involved 😞

I (23F) have been seeing a guy (31M) for a few weeks and we’ve already slept together. I invited him over tonight, but I just realized I’m on a really light period.

I’d still be open to hooking up, but I’m not sure if this is something guys in their 30s tend to care about or get turned off by. I don’t want to make things awkward or scare him off since it’s still kind of new.

Would you want a heads up beforehand, or just a quick mention in the moment?

I'm F23 and met a Guy M22 and we were hitting off really well. He had mentioned to me he got out of a toxic relationship a few months ago as his fiancé had cheated on him...and just today he tells me he has a baby on the way with her.... is it best to leave? we were still in the talking stage

Qual vocês indicam?

I need advice because I know I’m really in the wrong. I had an ex-boyfriend (first bf) for five years, and everything between us used to be really good. He’s great at almost everything—you name it, he can handle tasks and responsibilities well. However, we chose to part ways to focus on our priorities.

After the breakup, I didn’t keep in touch with him, even though he wanted to communicate, because I felt like he just wanted to keep me around. Now, I have a new boyfriend. I am happy with him, but at the same time, I feel like he might not be the one for me.

One of the main issues I’m struggling with is the differences between me and my current boyfriend. There are certain traits that I find difficult to accept. For example, I see him as irresponsible at times, and he is not very clean, which really bothers me. I also catch myself comparing him to my ex, who was more responsible and organized.

These differences make it hard for me to feel fully satisfied in the relationship. Because of this, I feel conflicted and unsure about what to do. I don’t want to go back to my ex, but I also don’t want to hurt my current boyfriend by feeling this way. Should I leave my current relationship, or should I stay and try to work things out?

I’m stuck at a min wage job, small social circle which I go out Mabye once a month, no relationship and no school.

I’m stuck at a min wage job, small social circle which I go out Mabye once a month, no relationship and no school.

I (36F) have been dating my bf (34M) for about 2 years now. When I met him I was really looking for someone to settle down with, and now looking back I see that I may have pushed him in this direction when he wasn’t ready (meaning he wasn’t looking to get married any time soon, was not saving for a future family, living the bachelor life etc.). However now, he’s all in and wants to make me happy. I can’t help but feel resentment that I have to help him pivot his lifestyle and walk him through “growing up” in a lot of ways.

On top of all this, about a year ago (2025), I realized how much I missed the relationship I had with my ex (always was serious about me, ambitious, smart, family oriented, a huge mental and emotional support). We had dated only for a year in 2020-2021 but stayed close friends (yet he always held the door open for us to try again) up until I started dating my bf in 2024. Looking back I was very immature in that time in my life and sabotaged that relationship over superficial things (mainly family pressure that I shouldn’t date him because he’s not the same religion, although it wasn’t important to me that he isn’t but felt too much pressure from family nonetheless) although he was always patient with me.

I can’t help comparing my ex with my current relationship (great sweet guy but immature, not too much of a leader or ambitious, and not a great conversationalist) and miss so much what I once had.

I’m torn between letting go of the past and trying to make the best of my relationship now, or ending my relationship as these thoughts I’m having are not fair to him, and finding someone new. I would really like to have kids and a family so my age is pressuring me to make a decision.

I’m living everyday with pain of regret and often cry when I think of my ex, feels like a death. I feel no happiness out of anything in life that I used to and worry that I’ll continue to feel this way in the future. He’d been such a huge part of my life and I failed to realize how safe I felt with him and how much I enjoyed his company. (My ex is engaged now and we have had no communication since he starting dating her.) Please any advice especially if you’ve experienced something similar.