u/ConfidentSale3091

I’m in college and I’ve noticed this keeps happening during group projects. I’ll try to contribute ideas or ask questions and my group members either talk over me, give super short responses, or just continue the conversation like I never said anything. Sometimes they’ll even respond normally to everyone else but barely acknowledge me.

What makes it worse is that I start getting hyper aware of everything I do after that. I overthink my tone, where I’m looking, whether I sound annoying, whether I’m interrupting, etc. Then I end up becoming quieter and more awkward which probably makes the situation even worse.

The thing is, I’m not trying to be the center of attention or anything. I just want to feel included and not like some background NPC standing there while everyone else naturally connects. How do you stop feeling awkward or embarrassed in situations like this without completely shutting down?

Is there an essential book one has to read to know more?

I live in Pennsylvania so I don't know exactly how cold or warm it is to others but I love to walk outside in shorts and t-shirt in this weather. What do you guys think?

In school, I was the kid who got in trouble for reacting, not the kid who started anything. Someone would spend days or weeks picking at me in small ways that teachers did not notice and care about even when I reported it. They would be making faces at me across the room, mouthing racist insults when the teacher’s back was turned. Whispering things just loud enough for me to hear but quiet enough to stay plausibly innocent.

The one time I finally snapped and told a guy in my class to stop bothering me because he was making faces and mouthing racist insults at me, the teacher immediately turned it on me. I got detention for being "disruptive." Not a single question about why I was upset. Not a single glance at what he had been doing for weeks. Just me, being the problem because I was the one who spoke out loud.

That happened over and over in different versions. I would try to ignore it. I would try to move seats. I would try to keep my head down. But the moment I said something, raised my voice, or showed any sign that I was fed up, I became the one who "couldn’t behave." The bully stayed invisible because they were quieter about it. I was visible because I reacted.

It messes with you. You start to feel like you are not allowed to defend yourself. Like you are expected to just absorb disrespect silently or else you are the bad guy. Like the system cares more about keeping the room quiet than about what is actually happening in it.

I am older now, but I still carry that frustration. Not just toward the kids, but toward the adults who saw only the surface and never bothered to look at what led up to it

Every time someone talks about struggling with dating, there’s always people replying with stuff like "you need to heal completely" or "be fully emotionally mature", etc At some point it starts sounding completely detached from reality. If you actually applied all these standards consistently, most people wouldn’t date until they were middle aged.

Most adults are still figuring themselves out. Tons of people in relationships have insecurities, anxiety, financial stress, family issues, awkwardness, trauma, bad habits, or areas where they still need to grow. Human beings are basically unfinished projects forever. That doesn’t mean they’re incapable of loving someone or being loved. A healthy relationship can literally help people grow emotionally and mature over time. The internet acts like dating is some reward you unlock only after achieving perfect mental health, career success, confidence, social skills, and self-esteem.

I’m not saying people should dump all their problems onto their partner or refuse to improve themselves. Obviously there’s a difference between normal flaws and being genuinely toxic or abusive. But the way people talk online sometimes makes it sound like you need to become some ultra-polished enlightened adult before you’re "allowed" to want companionship. Meanwhile in the real world, imperfect people date imperfect people every single day and always have.

In a world where there is so much vitriol and negativity, I appreciate people who are kind to me even though I have not said anything to them. It makes me less anxious and more likely to be friends with that person.

I keep seeing the same pattern across Reddit. Certain feminist spaces will loudly insist they do not hate men, but in the same breath allow and upvote phrases like "kill all men", "men are violent monsters" or blanket statements about men being inherently bad to circulate freely. When men point this out, the response is always that it is "just venting about patriarchy" or "It is not about you personally." As if the wording somehow stops mattering because the intent is reframed after the fact.

If the roles were reversed and men were calling women inherently manipulative or evil as a way to "vent about feminism" nobody would accept that explanation for a second. It would be rightly called misogyny and hate speech. But when the target is men, suddenly we are told to understand the emotional context and not focus on the literal words being used.

Words matter. If threatening, dehumanizing language is acceptable as long as it is labeled as "venting" then that standard can justify anything. At that point, you are not asking for understanding. You are asking for a free pass to verbally abuse an entire group of people while denying that you are doing exactly that.

There is also constant talk about "decentering men." But if the goal is truly to decenter men, why are so many posts obsessed with criticizing, generalizing, and attacking them? That is not decentering. That is fixation. You cannot claim indifference while simultaneously dedicating huge amounts of energy to negativity about the same group.

From the outside, many of these subreddits do not look like discussions about equality, policy, or improving women’s lives. They look like echo chambers where extreme hostility toward men is normalized, excused, and sometimes even celebrated, as long as it is packaged as frustration with patriarchy.

So the question is simple. If feminists in these spaces genuinely do not hate men, why is there so little effort to shut down this kind of rhetoric? Why is the reaction to criticism always to reinterpret the words instead of acknowledging that maybe the language itself is part of the problem?

I’m an Indian man and I genuinely don’t understand how some people eat food with zero spice. I’m talking food so mild it tastes like it was seasoned by someone afraid of black pepper. Meanwhile I’m over here sweating through my shirt, nose running, eyes watering, questioning every life decision I’ve ever made halfway through lunch and loving it.

The pain is part of the experience. I want the kind of spice where the first bite feels like a warning from God himself. If I’m not pacing around my kitchen chugging water and regretting my arrogance for 15 minutes, the food probably needed more chili. My family will casually eat stuff that would probably qualify as chemical warfare to other people.

And honestly, spicy food just makes eating more exciting. Bland food feels depressing to me. I don’t want a peaceful lunch. I want an adrenaline rush. I want my ancestors watching proudly as I destroy my digestive system for flavor. If I’m not having a minor existential crisis during the meal, the spice level was too low lol.

I mean the more awkward privacy layer: coworkers, mutual friends, family friends, people from the same ethnic community, church/community group, professional circle, suburb, or rural town seeing your profile before you’ve chosen to share anything. Does that actually affect whether you use apps, or is it not a big deal in practice?

If you do care about privacy, how do you handle it today?

Do you use mainstream apps anyway, keep your profile vague, avoid apps, rely on friends/events, or just accept that people might see you?

I’m especially curious whether this feels different in smaller cities/suburbs, diaspora communities, or tight professional circles.

I swear every company’s music on hold sounds like it was specifically engineered to make people slowly lose their sanity.

You call because your internet is down or your bank account got locked, etc and then they hit you with the same distorted jazz loop recorded through a microwave in 1998. Half the time it randomly cuts out too, so you think someone finally picked up, only for the trumpet solo from hell to blast directly into your ear again.

And why is it ALWAYS weird smooth jazz, elevator funk, or some corporate ukulele beat? Nobody has ever sat there thinking "wow this slap bass loop is really improving my customer service experience." It honestly feels like they purposely pick the most mentally exhausting music possible so you hang up before reaching a real person.

I’ve started realizing that some of the stuff I do for fun is probably not considered "normal" by most people. None of it is harmful or anything, but I feel like if I told a girl I’m dating about it she’d think I’m some kind of alien.

For example, sometimes I literally just sit in silence staring at a wall thinking about random stuff for like 30 minutes straight because it relaxes me. I also have a vending machine and I weirdly enjoy refilling it, organizing it, and messing with the coin mechanism even though I could just buy snacks normally. Another thing is I occasionally race my electric scooter around empty parking lots at night while holding a pack of mints because for some reason I think it makes me "more aerodynamic" even though obviously it doesn’t.

I've heard that I’m unintentionally a weird person. I can function normally, have a job, socialize fine, etc. but I’m worried dating wise this stuff crosses the line from quirky to weird?

I tried venting about my lack of romantic relationship and somebody said I'm not owed love, which is true but that just hurt me more. I know I'm not owed shit in life but how does that help me? I just want love and a kind, beautiful GF. I know finding love can be hard but how can I find love if I don't have any confidence. (I'm not blaming anybody else)

I am a man and just want to curate my feed on Reddit to get rid of toxic stuff and prioritize my mental health so it becomes better. I have a wide variety of interests and really open minded. No nsfw please!

I just want to curate my feed on Reddit to get rid of toxic stuff and prioritize my mental health so it becomes better. I have a wide variety of interests and really open minded. No nsfw please!

When I was about 5, my dad passed away and my older brother was about 25 and had already moved out to his own place. The exact details are hazy to me since I was so young, but I remember my mom heavily drinking during that time. She would neglect me and hit me whenever she got angry. I remember my brother having to pick me up from preschool often because my mom either forgot about me or was too drunk to come. Eventually, CPS got involved after a neighbor heard me screaming and called the police. My mom was taken away and ended up going to jail for a long time. She later died there.

My brother took me into his home without hesitation and basically became my father figure overnight. He made sure I was fed, clothed, and went to school. He worked hard and still somehow found time to take care of me. I never once heard him complain about the responsibility or make me feel unwanted. Now I’m a 22 year old man and my brother has a wife and kids of his own. Sometimes I sit there and realize how different my life could have turned out if he didn’t step in for me. I honestly owe him everything.

Thank you, bro. And to everyone reading this, if you have a loving mother still in your life, please appreciate her. I would have given anything to know what that felt like. Now I’m sitting here tearing up remembering all of this.

When I was about 5, my dad passed away and my older brother was about 25 and had already moved out to his own place. The exact details are hazy to me since I was so young, but I remember my mom heavily drinking during that time. She would neglect me and hit me whenever she got angry. I remember my brother having to pick me up from preschool often because my mom either forgot about me or was too drunk to come. Eventually, CPS got involved after a neighbor heard me screaming and called the police. My mom was taken away and ended up going to jail for a long time. She later died there.

My brother took me into his home without hesitation and basically became my father figure overnight. He made sure I was fed, clothed, and went to school. He worked hard and still somehow found time to take care of me. I never once heard him complain about the responsibility or make me feel unwanted. Now I’m a 22 year old man and my brother has a wife and kids of his own. Sometimes I sit there and realize how different my life could have turned out if he didn’t step in for me. I honestly owe him everything.

Thank you, bro. And to everyone reading this, if you have a loving mother still in your life, please appreciate her. I would have given anything to know what that felt like. Now I’m sitting here tearing up remembering all of this.

Only genuine answers appreciated. I really liked this girl at a cafe and we started talking to each other regularly. I asked her out yesterday and she called me ugly. I'm unashamed to say that I came home and had tears in my eyes. How did I become so soft to rejection? I used to not care about people like her but it started emotionally hurting me again. How do I face this embarrassment?

What's the wildest weather you've experienced living in the UK?

I am a man who lives in Tasmania and every year, I get this horrible depression in the winter. I can't afford to move and my family lives here. What do I do? I'm sick with the flu now and it's a horrible time for me.