u/Brilliant-Border-145

Title

I have genuinely scoured the internet and found NOTHING regarding hospitals that offer:

1: Psychologist/psychoanalyst/ therapist (NOT a psychiatrist)

2: Accepts Al Koot insurance (without reimbursement process)

3: Actually qualified

Please, if u know anything about a hospital like this, please share. It is an emergency.

First in my family tree to get therapy! Needed it. Just celebrating 💕

If there was a book title that was a tldr or would be "it's kind of a funny story". Like the book, it is not the really funny, and not that really sad.

Since my childhood, I have been searching for this feeling of being utterly destroyed, mentally. Like shaken to my core. It's not masochism. My therapist told me that. I've tried to find it in books, of all things, my whole life. And on rare occasions I have found it. And on special occasions, it has destroyed me. Like a really sad/disturbing book. And then I stopped searching for the feeling, as I swallowed and felt the pain. That is the same pain that makes me feel non alive, but I search that pain to feel alive (?). Kind of a funny story.

Therapist told me that's why I used to watch a lot of inappropriate, 18 plus content when I young. To feel something. To be "better and mature". I have talked over with her, but I still dont get it. I continue to have a desire to search for it. I'm not that big of a writer or reader if that feeling hadn't been in me, but it's because of the search of the feeling that now I'm very well educated I suppose

I'm here to figure out what's going on, any insight would be valuable, since I don't understand my therapist.

If there was a book title that was a tldr or would be "it's kind of a funny story". Like the book, it is not the really funny, and not that really sad.

Since my childhood, I have been searching for this feeling of being utterly destroyed, mentally. Like shaken to my core. It's not masochism. My therapist told me that. I've tried to find it in books, of all things, my whole life. And on rare occasions I have found it. And on special occasions, it has destroyed me. Like a really sad/disturbing book. And then I stopped searching for the feeling, as I swallowed and felt the pain. That is the same pain that makes me feel non alive, but I search that pain to feel alive (?). Kind of a funny story.

Therapist told me that's why I used to watch a lot of inappropriate, 18 plus content when I young. To feel something. To be "better and mature". I have talked over with her, but I still dont get it. I continue to have a desire to search for it. I'm not that big of a writer or reader if that feeling hadn't been in me, but it's because of the search of the feeling that now I'm very well educated I suppose

I'm here to figure out what's going on, or maybe if someone here can feel comfort that I've put into words that they could not. Who knows. Cheers.

I made a dumb desicion and speed ran the most disturbing books and movies. I need something to calm out and get the blues out the system. I dont know what type of books will help, only that it has to be light hearted, hopeful, and such. Please suggest some books you think would fit for this situation, as well as someone going through it.

A book that is a like taxi driver, night crawler, fight club, etc.

I like social alienation, despair books with bad endings, what else will I like?

No longer human

Less than zero

Requiem for a dream.

(I've read all the philosophers: kafka, camus, schopenhauer etc; read dostoevsky, give me niche references)

I watched this Bollywood movie, hindi language, with my parents, but they say they cant remember it. It was a thriller movie where in the movie a woman is telling her story of her insane (?) house, where PARANORMAL things are happening. We get scenes of the house and stuff.

In the end it says, the woman was mentally ill. Please help me out, asked my parents, ai and everything. Human memory may come to help.

I watched this Bollywood movie, hindi, with my parents, but they say they cant remember it. Pretty sure it was in between 2018-2021. It was a thriller movie where in the movie a woman is telling her story of her insane (?) house, where PARANORMAL things are happening. We get scenes of the house and stuff.

In the end it says, the woman was mentally ill. Please help me out, asked my parents, ai and everything. Human memory may come to help.

Any book in which the any character was seriously well developed and you actually related you. Either really bleak characters, or fun whimsical personalities; surprise me reddit.

There is a genre that is a blend of many genres, it is sick, disgusting, disturbing, but it is also hopeful, satirical (based on ones perspectives) and leaves you with a feeling, occasionally a message. I would like suggestions, and name of the genre

Books from the genre include:

Fight club

Less than zero

Notes from underground

Ham and rye

No longer human

Big lights, bright city

Mangas like: oyasumi punpun, flowers of evil, boys abyss.

Note: It is not the normal genre of autofiction /literarature/sad books/critique/satire. No. There is a feeling that is common in all thr above books, that you can find only in this genre and not the others. More and more writers, especially younglings are writing here. Youngest readers want to read this genre, get motivation from these kind of books. So if pinpointed, it would be a great help