u/Bitter_Secret3858

I hate myself more than anyone else probably i cant let go of the past all my mistakes still haunt me I feel like I already lived all I can tolerate sure life is good sometimes a lot of times but being this hyper sensitive molested self harming blood drinking life regretting jealous fuck is pretty goddamn draining

I can’t let go of the fact that my ex fooled me

I still have nightmares from when they attempted to kidnap me from time to time Im probably overreacting

I still cut myself and drink my blood when I can and get cannibalistic urges

Pyromaniac and my fires got out of hand and I might cause a disaster if I don’t stop but when I stop it keeps getting worse

I used to burn animal carcasses but I stoped because I lost my fire spot a year ago

All my conflict is past or internal which makes it unfixable

Idk I don’t want to kill myself but the thought of not existing sure as shit sounds great

15M here

Me and my girlfriend 16F have been dating for around 9 months now anddd we’re very happy with eachother yes distance is shit sometimes but we call when we can (strict parents lmao) but we text for hours a day and she helped through some really tough times through our friendship (we’ve been texting for hours every single day since may 2024)

So does the fact that we manage long distance point to a brighter future together ?

FYA: her parents are friends with mine (her dad went to military with mine and they were friends in high school) and they bought an apartment in the same building as ours so we might go to the same school/uni soon after her dad retires

Our relationship is a secret from our family so hiding it is a bit of a hassle but i really love her and I can see a future with her

Hey mods and people of this sub,hope you’re good with this

I stumbled upon this and uhhh Im not a yumeshipper by any means but can you please educate me on this like the why’s and how’s and how do you pick a character ect

Soo hope you’re fine with a curious outsider andd have fun doing what you like

Idk I’m just venting atp

So yeah starts a couple of years ago I was 11 I was out with 2 of my friends, these 3 men pop outta nowhere at sunset, we fight and they grope us and touch us while telling me they will chop me up after they’re done raping me and throw me in the creek (they were more focused on me i was the prized pony), I still remember how powerless I was and how we fought with all we had so they couldn’t take us, laughed about it after I barely escaped then it crashed on me after the adrenaline wore down and I collapsed crying about 2 hours after the fact, no police were involved and I didn’t tell my parents the full extent of it they think I just got into a fight

Then my mentality unstable ex stole my blood stained knife and extracted the blood then threatened to put it into herself as DNA evidence I raped her before she kills herself and sais I raped her on a suicide note if I leave her (led to me being coerced into sending nudes I wasn’t comfortable with, I enjoyed some of them at the time now I feel her dirty hands on me when I think of it…along with the men’s hands) and spending all my money on her and even getting into a little dept, broke up last July it got so draining after she cheated on me I just said fuck it I don’t care what she does, she never followed through her plan but I was living in pure fear for a good while and she threatened to leak my nudes too 😃😃😃

My current girlfriend (my childhood friend and crush and my best friend of 2 years) is the only person who knows all about this shit I love her so much please hope with me that I spend the rest of my life with her

I hope from the deepest parts of my soul that you all get through it and remember, you’re super strong for surviving

This isn’t the whole story but it’ll do

I received some death threats but ignored them what’s a 15 year old girl gonna do to me

Idk I’m just venting atp

So yeah starts a couple of years ago I was 11 I was out with 2 of my friends, these 3 men pop outta nowhere at sunset, we fight and they grope us and touch us while telling me they will chop me up after they’re done raping me and throw me in the creek (they were more focused on me i was the prized pony), I still remember how powerless I was and how we fought with all we had so they couldn’t take us, laughed about it after I barely escaped then it crashed on me after the adrenaline wore down and I collapsed crying about 2 hours after the fact, no police were involved and I didn’t tell my parents the full extent of it they think I just got into a fight

Fast Forward to 2024 I was accused by this random granny because I fought her granddaughter for a saddle (I just screamed and cussed her I didn’t even touch her) then she proceeded to head-but me annddd it ended there

Cherry on top my mentality unstable ex stole my blood stained knife and extracted the blood then threatened to put it into herself as DNA evidence I raped her before she kills herself and sais I raped her on a suicide note if I leave her (led to me being coerced into sending nudes I wasn’t comfortable with, I enjoyed some of them at the time now I feel her dirty hands on me when I think of it…along with the men’s hands) and spending all my money on her and even getting into a little dept, broke up last July it got so draining after she cheated on me I just said fuck it I don’t care what she does, she never followed through her plan but I was living in pure fear for a good while and she threatened to leak my nudes too 😃😃😃

My current girlfriend (my childhood friend and crush and my best friend of 2 years) is the only person who knows all about this shit I love her so much please hope with me that I spend the rest of my life with her

I hope from the deepest parts of my soul that you all get through it and remember, you’re super strong for surviving

This post was removed from r/rape what I did wrong maybe it wasn’t the place to bring awareness to false allegations

I always suck/lick off/drink my blood and bite myself until I bleed and eat my scabs and skin on the tips of my fingers and inside my lips

But whenever I self harm, after Im done dealing with my blood I really want to rip iff a chunk from my thigh and eat it raw and bloody

The thought of following through makes me feel uneasy but I still crave it sometimes

So uhh the thing is I think Im a strong guy and when I punch myself my legs get paralyzed for up to 30 seconds and hard to walk for 10 minutes and this onetime i did it and my thigh had little holes in it that leaked a little blood out it happened only once tho
And does it count as a relapse?