u/Aggravating-Wafer495

I went through 3 and finally landed on a fourth that I had three sessions with before it went bad. I told him about my csa incident and he kind of was like "they hurt you without intending to" And he brought up that I took psych in HS and like he brought up that development thing by freud and was like "those boys were curious and they didn't mean to, but they hurt you." Which I didn't give him enough context to assure him they didn't mean to. Because I know they did, they had a motive! It was genuinely out of spite.

Also, I didn't ask for a psychological explanation of their behavior, so what would prompt him to say? Am I crazy for thinking that's weird? I would've appreciated some sympathy like normal. It was so odd because all the other advice was good and normal, it just threw me off because this seemed like he was kinda trying to defend them?

They were kids too, just much older kids, so yeah I get they may have been curious, but they also totally were bullying me. And for him to say that when he didn't know them or the full story - gave me really weird vibes.

I don't wanna go back to him. But the other therapists I went to were even worse honestly. I had really good luck with a child therapist. I don't know why adult therapy is so much harder.

I'm soooo lonely but gods it's so hard to get along with people. I don't know if I'm too judgemental but I just am so disappointed with most people. I wanna make friends and I'm lonely romantically but I'm totally isolating myself because I think talking to people is such a bother. Do others feel this way too?

I have certain qualities but I have lower self esteem and people expect more from me than I do... Like I'm fine being a trash goblin but people expect something grand just because I have some good qualities... Maybe I look a certain way or I'm doing well in studies and I'm good at art... No one wants to accept I'm messed up inside! No one wants to fix me! They just want me to work and forget about my feelings and my depression! Well I can't! That's why I ghost everyone. That's why I procrastinate! So what if I have some nice things in life? My problems aren't a joke! I'm unable to connect with people! That's a serious problem.

Apparently I have too high standards, or it's my low self esteem, or my people pleasing, or my anxious avoidant attachment style or something (mostly avoidant).

My life is progressing but I feel stunted emotionally. I want to grow but I'm stuck in this cycle with people. I'm so emotionally immature. I feel like a kid in an adult body. I suck at being an adult, I don't have adult interests! I may do some serious things, but all I wanna talk about are games, and cartoons, and fun stuff! Ugh.

And when I do want to talk about more serious topics? I'm way too embarrassed to reach out to a friend to have an honest conversation. I always just maintain polite distance so I seem normal, and don't ruin their good impression of me. I don't wanna be presumptuous. I don't wanna approach someone and be rejected (in a friendship sense). But everyone already knows I never get close to someone... No one is getting fooled.

Everyone thinks I'm some creature! And if I just got off my high horse for a second and talked to them for real they'd see I'm a person just like them. But I can't! Cuz I'm afraid I'll be hated. That I'm not good enough.

I'm sorry if this comes off as obnoxious or tone deaf or lacking self-awareness but... I don't even know who to talk to. I don't have anybody. And those that I have just kinda dismiss them. I need some insight or advice. How do I even go forward?

I'm soooo lonely but gods it's so hard to get along with people. I don't know if I'm too judgemental but I just am so disappointed with most people. I wanna make friends and I'm lonely romantically but I'm totally isolating myself because I think talking to people is such a bother. Do others feel this way too?

I have certain qualities but I have lower self esteem and people expect more from me than I do... Like I'm fine being a trash goblin but people expect something grand just because I have some good qualities... Maybe I look a certain way or I'm doing well in studies and I'm good at art... No one wants to accept I'm messed up inside! No one wants to fix me! They just want me to work and forget about my feelings and my depression! Well I can't! That's why I ghost everyone. That's why I procrastinate! So what if I have some nice things in life? My problems aren't a joke! I'm unable to connect with people! That's a serious problem.

Apparently I have too high standards, or it's my low self esteem, or my people pleasing, or my anxious avoidant attachment style or something (mostly avoidant).

My life is progressing but I feel stunted emotionally. I want to grow but I'm stuck in this cycle with people. I'm so emotionally immature. I feel like a kid in an adult body. I suck at being an adult, I don't have adult interests! I may do some serious things, but all I wanna talk about are games, and cartoons, and fun stuff! Ugh.

And when I do want to talk about more serious topics? I'm way too embarrassed to reach out to a friend to have an honest conversation. I always just maintain polite distance so I seem normal, and don't ruin their good impression of me. I don't wanna be presumptuous. I don't wanna approach someone and be rejected (in a friendship sense). But everyone already knows I never get close to someone... No one is getting fooled.

Everyone thinks I'm some creature! And if I just got off my high horse for a second and talked to them for real they'd see I'm a person just like them. But I can't! Cuz I'm afraid I'll be hated. That I'm not good enough.

I'm sorry if this comes off as obnoxious or tone deaf or lacking self-awareness but... I don't even know who to talk to. I don't have anybody. And those that I have just kinda dismiss them. I need some insight or advice. How do I even go forward?

I'm soooo lonely but gods it's so hard to get along with people. I don't know if I'm too judgemental but I just am so disappointed with most people. I wanna make friends and I'm lonely romantically but I'm totally isolating myself because I think talking to people is such a bother.

Do others feel this way too? And also because I was socialized with women mostly, I just hate talking to guys. It's impossible! I'm never dating (I can't do it, it's too hard). And I'm missing a - someone - that wasn't even here!!! I literally imagine a male torso that's not too big or too small, and just so average and perfect and just hugging that. But I honestly can't even manage friends! I avoid talking to them most of the time. Dating is just impossible for me. (I'm not seeking dating advice by the way, I'm seeking advice for people in general.)

I have certain qualities but I have lower self esteem and people expect more from me than I do... Like I'm fine being a trash goblin but people expect something grand just because I have some good qualities... Maybe I look a certain way or I'm doing well in studies and I'm good at art... No one wants to accept I'm messed up inside! No one wants to fix me! They just want me to work and forget about my feelings and my depression! Well I can't! That's why I ghost everyone. That's why I procrastinate! So what if I have some nice things in life? My problems aren't a joke! I'm unable to connect with people! That's a serious problem.

Apparently I have too high standards, or it's my low self esteem, or my people pleasing, or my anxious avoidant attachment style or something (mostly avoidant).

My life is progressing but I feel stunted emotionally. I want to grow but I'm stuck in this cycle with people. I'm so emotionally immature. I feel like a kid in an adult body. I suck at being an adult, I don't have adult interests! I may do some serious things, but all I wanna talk about are games, and cartoons, and fun stuff! Ugh.

And when I do want to talk about more serious topics? I'm way too embarrassed to reach out to a friend to have an honest conversation. I always just maintain polite distance so I seem normal, and don't ruin their good impression of me. I don't wanna be presumptuous. I don't wanna approach someone and be rejected (in a friendship sense). But everyone already knows I never get close to someone... No one is getting fooled.

Everyone thinks I'm some creature! And if I just got off my high horse for a second and talked to them for real they'd see I'm a person just like them. But I can't! Cuz I'm afraid I'll be hated. That I'm not good enough.

I'm sorry if this comes off as obnoxious or tone deaf or lacking self-awareness but... I don't even know who to talk to. I don't have anybody. And those that I have just kinda dismiss them. I need some insight or advice. How do I even go forward?

I'm soooo lonely but gods it's so hard to get along with people. I don't know if I'm too judgemental but I just am so disappointed with most people. I wanna make friends and I'm lonely romantically but I'm totally isolating myself because I think talking to people is such a bother. Do others feel this way too?

I have certain qualities but I have lower self esteem and people expect more from me than I do... Like I'm fine being a trash goblin but people expect something grand just because I have some good qualities... Maybe I look a certain way or I'm doing well in studies and I'm good at art... No one wants to accept I'm messed up inside! No one wants to fix me! They just want me to work and forget about my feelings and my depression! Well I can't! That's why I ghost everyone. That's why I procrastinate! So what if I have some nice things in life? My problems aren't a joke! I'm unable to connect with people! That's a serious problem.

Apparently I have too high standards, or it's my low self esteem, or my people pleasing, or my anxious avoidant attachment style or something (mostly avoidant).

My life is progressing but I feel stunted emotionally. I want to grow but I'm stuck in this cycle with people. I'm so emotionally immature. I feel like a kid in an adult body. I suck at being an adult, I don't have adult interests! I may do some serious things, but all I wanna talk about are games, and cartoons, and fun stuff! Ugh.

And when I do want to talk about more serious topics? I'm way too embarrassed to reach out to a friend to have an honest conversation. I always just maintain polite distance so I seem normal, and don't ruin their good impression of me. I don't wanna be presumptuous. I don't wanna approach someone and be rejected (in a friendship sense). But everyone already knows I never get close to someone... No one is getting fooled.

Everyone thinks I'm some creature! And if I just got off my high horse for a second and talked to them for real they'd see I'm a person just like them. But I can't! Cuz I'm afraid I'll be hated. That I'm not good enough.

I'm sorry if this comes off as obnoxious or tone deaf or lacking self-awareness but... I don't even know who to talk to. I don't have anybody. And those that I have just kinda dismiss them. I need some insight or advice. How do I even go forward?

I'm soooo lonely but gods it's so hard to get along with people. I don't know if I'm too judgemental but I just am so disappointed with most people. I wanna make friends and I'm lonely romantically but I'm totally isolating myself because I think talking to people is such a bother. Do others feel this way too?

I have certain qualities but I have lower self esteem and people expect more from me than I do... Like I'm fine being a trash goblin but people expect something grand just because I have some good qualities... Maybe I look a certain way or I'm doing well in studies and I'm good at art... No one wants to accept I'm messed up inside! No one wants to fix me! They just want me to work and forget about my feelings and my depression! Well I can't! That's why I ghost everyone. That's why I procrastinate! So what if I have some nice things in life? My problems aren't a joke! I'm unable to connect with people! That's a serious problem.

Apparently I have too high standards, or it's my low self esteem, or my people pleasing, or my anxious avoidant attachment style or something (mostly avoidant).

My life is progressing but I feel stunted emotionally. I want to grow but I'm stuck in this cycle with people. I'm so emotionally immature. I feel like a kid in an adult body. I suck at being an adult, I don't have adult interests! I may do some serious things, but all I wanna talk about are games, and cartoons, and fun stuff! Ugh.

And when I do want to talk about more serious topics? I'm way too embarrassed to reach out to a friend to have an honest conversation. I always just maintain polite distance so I seem normal, and don't ruin their good impression of me. I don't wanna be presumptuous. I don't wanna approach someone and be rejected (in a friendship sense). But everyone already knows I never get close to someone... No one is getting fooled.

Everyone thinks I'm some creature! And if I just got off my high horse for a second and talked to them for real they'd see I'm a person just like them. But I can't! Cuz I'm afraid I'll be hated. That I'm not good enough.

I'm sorry if this comes off as obnoxious or tone deaf or lacking self-awareness but... I don't even know who to talk to. I don't have anybody. And those that I have just kinda dismiss them. I need some insight or advice. How do I even go forward?

I'm soooo lonely but gods it's so hard to get along with people. I don't know if I'm too judgemental but I just am so disappointed with most people. I wanna make friends and I'm lonely romantically but I'm totally isolating myself because I think talking to people is such a bother.

Do others feel this way too? And also because I was socialized with women mostly, I just hate talking to guys. It's impossible! I'm never dating (I can't do it, it's too hard). And I'm missing a - someone - that wasn't even here!!! I literally imagine a male torso that's not too big or too small, and just so average and perfect and just hugging that. But I honestly can't even manage friends! I avoid talking to them most of the time. Dating is just impossible for me. (I'm not seeking dating advice by the way, I'm seeking advice for people in general.)

I have certain qualities but I have lower self esteem and people expect more from me than I do... Like I'm fine being a trash goblin but people expect something grand just because I have some good qualities... Maybe I look a certain way or I'm doing well in studies and I'm good at art... No one wants to accept I'm messed up inside! No one wants to fix me! They just want me to work and forget about my feelings and my depression! Well I can't! That's why I ghost everyone. That's why I procrastinate! So what if I have some nice things in life? My problems aren't a joke! I'm unable to connect with people! That's a serious problem.

Apparently I have too high standards, or it's my low self esteem, or my people pleasing, or my anxious avoidant attachment style or something (mostly avoidant).

My life is progressing but I feel stunted emotionally. I want to grow but I'm stuck in this cycle with people. I'm so emotionally immature. I feel like a kid in an adult body. I suck at being an adult, I don't have adult interests! I may do some serious things, but all I wanna talk about are games, and cartoons, and fun stuff! Ugh.

And when I do want to talk about more serious topics? I'm way too embarrassed to reach out to a friend to have an honest conversation. I always just maintain polite distance so I seem normal, and don't ruin their good impression of me. I don't wanna be presumptuous. I don't wanna approach someone and be rejected (in a friendship sense). But everyone already knows I never get close to someone... No one is getting fooled.

Everyone thinks I'm some creature! And if I just got off my high horse for a second and talked to them for real they'd see I'm a person just like them. But I can't! Cuz I'm afraid I'll be hated. That I'm not good enough.

I'm sorry if this comes off as obnoxious or tone deaf or lacking self-awareness but... I don't even know who to talk to. I don't have anybody. And those that I have just kinda dismiss them. I need some insight or advice. How do I even go forward?