r/therapyabuse

So after a couple of red flags came up with my therapist, which I raised and they denied because "they don't remember saying that" I feel so much better for ending it.

I had a gut feeling this therapist was cold and analytical, a blank slate and it was recreating the trauma I had with my caregivers from childhood who were cold and emotionless.

I got codependent on my therapist. we have all been programmed to see ourselves as damaged and our therapists as gods.

Please see this as a sign to cut ties if you feel uncomfortable and any concerns aren't taken seriously. I kept going back to therapy but feel freer now knowing the therapy system is effed up and I'm NOT going back. Have faith in yourselves y'all. Community is where it's at.

Think about it, we only started having this conventional talking therapy modality of healing since the 1940s? What did humans do before then for healing trauma and MH issues? Community support, shamans, healers your community knew and trusted?

My friend was told she had to sign the papers to voluntarily check into a mental hospital or they would involuntarily commit her. Her story was a little confusing, she said she called the wrong number and implied suicidal thoughts.

I saw a lot of reviews related to violating patient rights, over medicating and keeping patients longer than necessary. This happened only a week after she went to a different MH and was assaulted, and she is fighting legally to obtain the security footage.

My friend won't have access to a phone and is in a different state. Is there anything I can do to check in on her? I'm not sure her friends or family are going to check on her.

After going through so many experiences -

Who the fuck says that.

I've never said that about my dentists

I've never said that about my PCPs

I've never said that about my mechanics

I've never said that about my pumbers

I've never said that about my tutors

I've never said that about my real estate agents

I've never said that about my gynecologists

I've never said that about my dog walkers.

I've never said that about my sitters.

For me to have to say that. After spending months recovering from my last exposure. I told the last asshole that every time I reached out for help it felt like opening up my legs to someone who was going to take advantage of my vulnerability.

Isn't it so convenient that clients always pay after being violated? Such good cattle.

Come in after having a panic attack and crying the night before. They knew this beforehand (I sent them an email in the middle of the night and they replied to it the next morning). Then they attack my attempts to resolve my problem, telling me I need a break. When they know a break isn't going to solve this problem. Thats like telling someone that needs a job before they get evicted to stop searching for work. They live in such a privileged world they don't understand what it's like to struggle for work, for relationships, for community, for purpose, for inner peace. All she did was attack me, tell me im distrustful of people after knowing how much ive been hurt, knowing the kinds of abusive situations I was in. Im so sick of them. The last thing anyone needs after struggling through a panic attack is to be vilified for it. Is this evidence based medicine? It just sounds like another abusive relationship

So I was lurking on this sub and contemplating stopping EMDR therapy after 14 sessions.

Just ended it as the therapist said he doesn't recall saying what he said. Like at the end of my last EMDR session after the processing is done we had a short debrief as usual. I was still overwhelmed from processing traumatic memories. I felt mainly numb in the processing.

After the debrief, a few tears were coming from my eyes as the traumatic memories were coming up still. My therapist said "if you’re not feeling numb now what are you feeling?" And it felt in the moment like a gut punch, like a gotcha from him. Clearlh underneath the numbness was suppressed emotions like sadness. He has a cold, analytical manner. I said in an annoyed voice "obviously sad, I'm crying." I was annoyed but overwhelmed and the session had ended so I left.

Then when I brought up what he said and how I felt he said he doesn't recall that. He said the debrief after processing in EMDR is not meant to be analysing but meant to be him bringing up "themes."

He did apologise and said it's important the impact anything he said had on me but he very much said he didn’t remember saying this.

Why do therapist's never take accountability. I told him I'd like him to self reflect and take accountability. He said he can't take accountability for something he didn’t say and there are different ways of interpreting words?!!

Honestly therapists are so defensive and are always protecting themselves. He didn’t even check in on how I was feeling or my safety, I had mentioned feeling suicidal before. I was the one who raised if I could see another therapist after ending it with him, he would have just left it and if I did end my life he would never care.

Therapy is only making me feel worse

I told my therapist I'm not content with my life, I can't have the life I want. She told me I needed will power and commitment. So I asked her, if I hypothetically don't have these traits, what is going to happen? To which she responded that I will never achieve anything without will power and commitment. I said...That is precisely the reason why I want to kill myself, because I can't achieve anything. So if I don't have those traits and will not make it... What's the point. I don't remember what happened later but eventually I started crying and she said: don't torture yourself, I believe you, etc. Trying to be positive. But I'm not sure if she really understood.

The words have echoed through my mind this whole week. It led to an argument with a friend who told me that in his case it was a problem or lack of will power.

I don't know man. I've been trying for over 6 years. I give yet another therapist a chance, after so many disappointing and outright abusive experiences (I had a therapist who suggested forcing myself to kiss men). And I get hurt again. Why do they do this. I can't even sleep from the emotional pain. I took benzos and CBD oil already and still can't sleep. Why do they do this to me. All I wanted was to express my frustration with life not being the way I wanted

TW: abuse, sexual assault, harassment

TLDR I was a member of a Clubhouse program in Michigan on and off for 14 years, and this past Tuesday was my breaking point. What I experienced there was not support. It was verbal, emotional, and even physical abuse and I’m finally done staying quiet about it. I was sexually assaulted back instead of 2025 and was suspended for 2 months while my assaulter was allowed back within a week. Jobs are promised but they give it to the favorites, if you have any physical disability you won't be eligible for a job. The director is extremely ableist and does it abide by the Ada

The director promised me a Transitional Employment (TE) position back in May, then suddenly revoked it without any real explanation. That alone hurt, but it’s just one piece of a much bigger pattern. She has repeatedly crossed boundaries, including driving by my house, making sexual comments about my body, and touching me inappropriately (like rubbing my lower back). She’s married, and this behavior made me extremely uncomfortable. There was also a situation where she nearly slapped me, then denied it afterward. What hurt the most, though, was how my sexual assault was handled.

I was assaulted by another member, and there were two witnesses. Instead of being protected or supported, I was suspended for two months while the person who assaulted me was allowed back within a week.

That told me everything I needed to know about how little they care about members’ safety. There are also ongoing issues at this Clubhouse that never seem to be taken seriously; including theft, public sexual behavior in shared spaces, and other extreme incidents that result in little to no consequences.

After everything, I reported the situation to Michigan Recipient Rights, and they are taking it very seriously. They’re planning to meet with the director without warning when she returns from training. I finally left, and honestly… I feel free. Has anyone else experienced something like this in a Clubhouse or similar program? I’m trying to process everything and would really appreciate hearing from others. TL;DR: After 14 years at a Michigan Clubhouse, I left due to ongoing verbal, emotional, sexual, and physical abuse — including inappropriate behavior from the director and being punished after I was sexually assaulted. I reported everything, and an investigation is happening. Has anyone else gone through something like this?

I debated about whether to even post, because I'm having a hell of a time with this.

I'm a survivor of serious therapeutic abuse from a previous therapist. I can't actually talk about that because there is an active investigation. But I really need professional support and it turns out that once someone has harmed you like this, then no one else will listen to you.

I recently decided to try seeing a new provider and sense what seem like flags to me. I just am trying to get a read on whether or not this is my hypervigilance or if something is really wrong, because I clearly don't know the difference given my past experience and how long I stayed.

In our first phone call this clinician ended up disclosing highly personal details of their own significant trauma. When I disclosed a history of violent sexual assault because this is tied to what I need to work on, the clinican later in the conversation used the word "seduce" to describe something unrelated. But this use of the word gave me a lot of pause because it's little things like this that my abuser used to do. I was very cautious in naming that my abuser had or may have had narcissistic traits. And then similarly, later in the conversation, the new clinician also used this term unprompted to say that she wasn't one. And it felt like my vulnerability was being tested somehow, but in ways that I can't name concretely, but maybe this is a connection strategy. After our session they have texted me multiple times and it becomes more and more urgent with each text even though I haven't responded.

Am I just reading this wrong? Is this therapist trying to build rapport by using the same language back to me? Is my hypervigilance just in overdrive because of what happened to me in the past? If I'm going to actually heal, do I need to work on my trust and get outside of my comfort zone even if it feels unsafe or dangerous? For people who have actually left an abusive therapeutic relationship, when did you know it was time to leave or how did it end?

Should I go back for another session just to be sure?

My narcissistic ex was my therapist. I’m a 36-year-old woman who started seeing a male therapist my age years ago at my husband’s request. My husband later spiraled into drug addiction, which led to our divorce. The day I filed, my therapist made a move. A few months later, after boundaries were crossed, I ended therapy and we began a romantic relationship.

For the first three months, it felt like the healthiest relationship I’d ever had. Then everything changed. I was discarded and treated horribly for about a year. He became verbally abusive, saying things like “I hope you die” and calling me degrading names. I later found out he had been seeing another woman and had told her he only pursued me to sleep with me. I feel deeply used and struggle with the belief that if my own therapist didn’t truly want me, why would anyone?

After a long period of no contact, I recently saw him again regrettably we slept together after he brought cocaine for us to use (I have a hard time staying away from the toxic dynamic). Unprompted, he brought up the idea of me reporting or suing him, even mentioning I could get a large settlement. He asked me to give him a heads-up so he could increase his malpractice insurance.

I had never seriously considered reporting him until that moment, but now it’s on my mind. I’m conflicted. I fear the emotional toll, potential safety concerns, and the impact it could have on my already fragile state. At the same time, I worry I’ll regret not holding him accountable.

This experience has caused ongoing depression that affects my ability to function. I’m a registered nurse and have already received attendance warnings. I’m struggling financially and emotionally, and still feel deeply impacted nearly a year later.

If I were your loved one, what would you advise?

I was seeing someone twice my age over the last one year and it has affected my mental health a lot.

It was great in the beginning. He showered me a lot of affection and attention. I felt like a chosen one. However, he did not and would not commit to me because I was younger than him and he was already dealing with separation and divorce.

But he kept me in a loop. When I would withdraw, he would try to pursue me and keep me around, by guilt tripping me and gaslighting me. And when I call him out on something or say something that triggers him , he becomes spiteful and resentful and gaslights me a lot about events so much so at one point i thought they happened. He falsely accused me of having a secret boyfriend behind his back, hated that I had friends to meet and basically having a life outside of our relationship. He would punish me in the most passive aggressive way by threatening to leave. And I would find myself begging him to come back. It was this push and pull dynamic and one day I snapped and called him out for using me. He was in a fit of rage that he said he would drag me to court if I spread lies about him.

It was insane. Idk what to do and how to really come out of it. I have kept all communication limited, but still the mental, emotional and verbal abuse was traumatic.

I honestly think I've been going about therapy all wrong this entire time. A lot of them will just let you hang with them for years even if you're not making progress instead of transferring you. I actually began to think that they actually want you to form some kind of relationship with them, which is kind of fucked because you're going to leave and go no contact eventually.

Instead, I'm thinking, I have problem X and I am going in to work on problem X. I will interview them about said problem and if we make it to session and I can't make eventual progress in a certain time then I am out of there. Of course I have problem Y Z and A B C as well, and the problem is that they'll often mine you for information so these other things will arise naturally, but what are we actually doing in this case. It's silly to think this person can help with all that and you don't really have the time. I honestly think you could get away with 30 min sessions depending on your problem but unfortunately they have to bill you for an hour.

I am not endorsing therapy by the way with this new method I'm just venting and curious if this approach could work.