Healing from therapy abuse
My narcissistic ex was my therapist. I’m a 36-year-old woman who started seeing a male therapist my age years ago at my husband’s request. My husband later spiraled into drug addiction, which led to our divorce. The day I filed, my therapist made a move. A few months later, after boundaries were crossed, I ended therapy and we began a romantic relationship.
For the first three months, it felt like the healthiest relationship I’d ever had. Then everything changed. I was discarded and treated horribly for about a year. He became verbally abusive, saying things like “I hope you die” and calling me degrading names. I later found out he had been seeing another woman and had told her he only pursued me to sleep with me. I feel deeply used and struggle with the belief that if my own therapist didn’t truly want me, why would anyone?
After a long period of no contact, I recently saw him again regrettably we slept together after he brought cocaine for us to use (I have a hard time staying away from the toxic dynamic). Unprompted, he brought up the idea of me reporting or suing him, even mentioning I could get a large settlement. He asked me to give him a heads-up so he could increase his malpractice insurance.
I had never seriously considered reporting him until that moment, but now it’s on my mind. I’m conflicted. I fear the emotional toll, potential safety concerns, and the impact it could have on my already fragile state. At the same time, I worry I’ll regret not holding him accountable.
This experience has caused ongoing depression that affects my ability to function. I’m a registered nurse and have already received attendance warnings. I’m struggling financially and emotionally, and still feel deeply impacted nearly a year later.
If I were your loved one, what would you advise?