r/sillyboyclub

Yesterday I was talking to a special someone, yesterday was horrible and she helped me so much, and then we talked a bit, and then we talked about us, and, then, she was feeling dysphoric and horrible and then just, left, maybe she went asleep, I hope, I know she isn't this type of person but she was genuinely so sad and I couldn't help her and I couldn't I didn't do enough I should have told her more clearly I'm, I'm, I don't want to think of the worst what if it's just a fluke, she was just sleeping! It's been 12 hours... Ughhhhh, she wouldn't want me to get so sad over her stuff she wouldn't want me to be dependant but if anything were to happend to her idk where I'd go what my life would me please be safe girl I wuves you >~< I'm crying so much

siiiigh she (let’s call her “katie”) has songs in her playlist like “kill bill - sza” and showed fake screenshots on a call according to one of her friends saying that i said bad things to her <\3 i did not!!! and she says i’m nothing without her and laughs at the thought of me being hurt.

bg art by sanukett on instagram

(tw : suicidal and selfharming thoughts)

i thought i was doing well, i thought i was going to recover and get better because i havent skipped any meals since this year started, didnt have any intense depressive episodes and only have one attempt for 2026

i got 92% in my exams and thought my parents were genuinely happy for me and proud of me, and the self-hating thoughts actually paused and i felt like a normal person again but whooops!!! it turns out that my family thinks i could do better!! and keep showing me report cards from family friends and nationwide toppers who are all obviously better than i could ever be as "motivation to improve for this year"!!!!

and what do you know, suddenly the scars have reappeared on my thighs :)

i was supposed to stop bothering the people i love and i was supposed to let them stop genuinely worrying about me whenever i make the subtlest "kms" joke

but ive already accepted that im a dissappointment to everyone i know and that they all only tolerate me because they feel obligated to anyways :]

I just checked discord this morning and turns out she unfriended me everywhere, I dont even know why. My best guess is that I bought Tomodachi for myself right? But I didnt want anyone to access it from my account signed into another switch console? Either that or just that I have a job and money. I chose not to move out the second I turned 18 because in this economy why would I? Taking that out on me because I buy games that are coping mechanisms for me then getting mad, not even saying why, not saying you're mad, just throwing a implication through a message for 'bragging about money' WHICH I WAS NOT DOING BY THE WAY! Holy hell man I am just so shaken and kinda really bummed out that this is how this is gonna end? Over pixels or money? Im really sad about it and I know theres always a chance she'll see this which I hope she doesnt but man, I just needed to get my thoughts out cause they've been building up all morning and are really taking a toll on me right now :(

After getting assaulted by a bad gf and suffering through two months of sadness, I got my old boyfriend back!!! He came back around and realized he hella overreacted to his own paranoia about hurting me. Now we just finished prom and stay so incredibly silly :3

(For anyone wondering I’m on the right)

I was on reddit on my phone and my brother saw my screen, it was on a post from r/countwithchickenlady that the picture was a trans flag with some text on it and he made the joke "oh [my name] is trans" and my sister went "what? [my name] is trans? awww what a sweet baby girlll awwww" and it just upset meeeeeeee. goddd so annoying just let me be aloneeeeeeeee and away from your scrutinyyyy

look i get they're joking and they have no way of actually knowing but it doesn't change that i just want them to shut up sometimes like goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

the image has text on it that may be cut off for mobile devices so please don't take it down for unrelated image.

I have no more hope, nor do I have much capacity for joy. I waste all my energy surviving school just to end up home and not do anything I had the motivition to do earlier in the day.

I have no clue how to continue on forward, if the past months may not even have happened for all I know and yet I'm expected to have learned from them, changed. Nor do I want to continue on. No joys of mine are worth the pain that I live with.

And so I live, only for others. Others I barely see, unless I'm at school.

I need testosterone

I need it

I need it

I NEED IT

MY BODY ISN'T MINE

I want to be fat btw (trans man, aspiring bear)

Needed to vent cause this has been bothering me for the last 4 days

So I’ve decided to once again attempt to become a femboy, namely by following guides from a YouTuber (I don’t feel comfortable naming them cause it’s not their fault)

As I went deeper into researching I thought:

“-Why do I want to do this?

-Because I want to look pretty.

-But for who?”

I don’t have any friends (who’d have guessed?), or any other acquaintances for that matter, since I believe it wouldn’t matter unless it is something that’s observed, like a work of art or a falling tree in a forest.

For myself? So I could mope around existence like I already do in this body I hate so much but in shaved legs and a skit this time?!

Aside from the ever dreaded “genetics” (I’m convinced I could have had the “twink gene” if it weren’t for certain genetic disorders that have plagued me since I was born) these boys all seem to have money and time to spare on skincare, skincare products, and makeup.

And i feel like half these guys are on estrogen to top it all off!

Like what’s the point anymore?

I’ve now unsubscribed from them and others cause I now turn green with jealousy every time I see a femboy. I’m down with them. (Insert Spider-Man No More homage drawing here)

Have you ever experienced that weird phase where one minute you’re bawling your eyes out and the next you suddenly feel kind of fine, but you still feel that lingering sadness? That’s where I’m at currently.

Is this how women feel in this society that places such importance on beauty?

(Sorry if I offended anyone)

The full blown conversions with myself and my N (Murder Drone) plush that I've labeled my boyfriend isn't doing the trick anymore! The lack of connection, human interaction and attention is realllly getting to my mental health and worsening my phone addiction! No friends, no siblings, homeschooled and busy parents is a baaad combooo :]] I don't know what I'm gonna do to myself if I continue to have no one to talk too

You saw the title. I’m transfem and i don’t want anything “basic,” go off otherwise.

TW: suicide and dysphoria

I orderd a rope to make a noose to finally leave this world forever, because i didn't get born as a girl and was forced through the wrong puberty and got traumatised and got ireversible damage from it that can never be fixed and didn't get a girl childhood, i feel extremly guilty because everything is my fault

Ive been wanting to age regress to try to relive a girl childhood and cope better with everything but I'm too scared to talk about it with anyone irl.

I hate this cruel world so much and I'm not made for it, I'm just too scared, shy and vulnerable. I'm too disabled and cry every day for hours and never leave my room. I'm extremly lonely and I did sh until a few months ago, i have no irl friends and never had. I'm a huge failure and burden to my family and everyone, they will be happy when I'm finally gone and I will be too. I still need to write a farewell letter and then it's hopefully over in a few days...

I'm sorry everyone it's okay if you hate me

I've been struggling with my mental health severely since I began university. Due to certain legal issues I couldn't leave home to take accomodations like I wanted, and it seems like I can't go out and do that next year either.

Ive struggled to socialize, or take part in many university things, and it's mainly my own fault because I havent been able to push myself to do it. I like to blame my circumstances and my parents but I know ultimately the burden is on me.

I've relapsed a little lately on cutting myself, and when I shaved my body all my old scars became really visible and it's something that I know put off my mom, even if she's tried to be very nice about it.

One thing I have been able to do was get into mini painting, and it's been a nice artistic outlet. And my mom's helped me and gotten involved with it a lot. We were talking and she wanted to give me 70£ to buy a big centerpiece model to work on and I tried to protest for a while but eventually I acquissed and she gave me the money. But now I feel so bad, I've been tossing and turning in my bed for 2 hours now. I feel guilty, like I don't deserve it, like I've conned her out of my alot of money for something frivolous, like I should have put my foot down and said no. And I'm thinking of giving it back, but then I can't help but think about how bad she'd feel if I pushed her gift back to her. And now I'm just going in circles.

I don't like the way my head works. Everything feels like it gets like this. But I don't know if there's a way to fix it, or if this is just how I'm doomed to stay the rest of my life. I was hoping so desperately that right now would be when my life would finally start to change. But it's all just the same as it ever was. Its terrifying, and I feel like I don't know how much longer I'll be able to endure it.

I feel like my feelings on identity are weirdly invalidated because of my feelings of attraction

Well, it's weird. I'm attracted to girls, i mean boys too a little, but unless theyre super hot then it's just girls mainly. But, I also feel like I am a girl. And I feel like, ahhh idk it's hard to explain. I just feel like even though I've at least mostly accepted that I'm trans I'll always be a man. And a man can't go into a lesbian relationship. I also feel like a cis woman who isnt looking for a t4t or relationship with a trans person wouldn't like me in that way because I'm not actually a girl. It's difficult to explain, thanks for reading.

For the mods: Image has text on it that may be cut off for mobile devices so please dont remove it for unrelated image, it is related.

I been dating a girl for 3 months and ngl I'm not happy with her because I sometimes wish she was a boy and I also miss being single because the attention I would get....idk I feel like a mess rn....I feel so dumb :(