u/LarryNStar

now i'm still young and i'll try not to box myself in too much or reduce myself to a label, but i mostly wanna see what sexuality/flag and label suits me best, even though i tend to look past the label and look at the person for who they are.

i (15f) am interested in sex but i don't have much of a sex drive and am not as horny as other kids my age, i would definitely not have sex at my age or when i'm older, with someone i don't know well. while i do have an interest in sex, my curiosity of doing it with someone, and only someone who's sexual first, is more of a curiosity and a way to "explore the relationship" to me then something i actually do for pleasure. even when i do sexual things for pleasure, it's less of an attraction i guess and more for just pleasure, even if i don't always do so for pleasure.

moving on, i am definitely VERY interested in women as well as enbies of any gender expression, but those who consider themselves sapphic or consider their attraction to women "lesbian". i cannot see myself with a man and mostly just dated men who made me laugh or did all the things a friend did with me just because i mainly felt bad for them because i would be turning them down if i said no, but now i realize i don't like men. i don't like man-aligned genders, but masc-aligned genders are fine, as well as fem and andro.

so i know labels are overrated, some may say, and all that, but my sister thinks it's interesting to find out. it may change as she's a young teen, but she's never had a crush, as she says. in fact, as well, she's never had a sexual desire or libido, which my dad said is "abnormal as most teens are wanting to have sex", even though it's clearly ok to not want to and everyone is different.

i said she's probably aroace but i'm not too sure (i myself am a lesbian romantically on the ace spectrum). today, she said if a guy were to flirt with her or be/do something generally what people who like men would consider attractive, she wouldn't find it attractive, though she does find guy singers and actors hot. however, she saw a girl wearing attractive clothing recently and found her really pretty and attractive, though she wouldn't date her.

she says she would be happy to date someone without doing romantic things and isn't interested in kissing, but anything beyond a platonic life partner situation is a no for her. one of my partners (i'm poly) is a platonic partner (masc nb), and they felt the same way, no kissing but a platonic life partner situation is ok, and they're aroace, so i told her it was very similar to them.

again, she has never felt romantic or sexual attraction towards someone, and while she does appreciate their beauty, she doesn't wanna date them or anything like that and is only ok with a platonic life partner situation without doing romantic things like kissing.

is aroace a good term? we're trying to help her figure out her sexuality and you can't say for sure, but there could be a good starting point.