false hope sucks!!!!!
bg art by sanukett on instagram
(tw : suicidal and selfharming thoughts)
i thought i was doing well, i thought i was going to recover and get better because i havent skipped any meals since this year started, didnt have any intense depressive episodes and only have one attempt for 2026
i got 92% in my exams and thought my parents were genuinely happy for me and proud of me, and the self-hating thoughts actually paused and i felt like a normal person again but whooops!!! it turns out that my family thinks i could do better!! and keep showing me report cards from family friends and nationwide toppers who are all obviously better than i could ever be as "motivation to improve for this year"!!!!
and what do you know, suddenly the scars have reappeared on my thighs :)
i was supposed to stop bothering the people i love and i was supposed to let them stop genuinely worrying about me whenever i make the subtlest "kms" joke
but ive already accepted that im a dissappointment to everyone i know and that they all only tolerate me because they feel obligated to anyways :]