r/regretjoining

Hi, so I’m a junior in college and around 7 months ago I decided i wanted to join the navy due to me failing a class and my aid got taken away which meant I had to take loans, and I was like fuck it ima drop out since I had a interest on the military for a while. I started the process on papers and stuff and randomly the university gave me my aid back for some reason I still don’t why to this day, and I asked some people and even they don’t know. I retook the class which was accounting and passed it then passed all the classes I had that semester and now just finished another semester of passing. I have 93 credits and I talked with my brothers and friends and they support me going to the navy , but they said isn’t it smarter to just finished another semester college and then think about joining again which is may 2027. Thought I already swore in and everything and ship date is July, and I’m very stuck in a bubble there’s half of me wanting to join and try a new experience and how college will always be there to go back, and another part of me saying to stay finish get that business management degree. I don’t know and if I do decide since I’m in dep do I just text my recruiter I’m done and that’s it? Need advice please 🙏.Forgot to mention but I needed waivers for my eye and anxiety and got approved and feel bad for my recruiter that I did all that just to not go

For preface I got out of bootcamp then was sent to ffg for a little, and now I am at A-School in Pensacola. I have never once in my life felt depressed in my life even thru boot camp I was relatively good. Something has changed though and I feel like something in me has died. I want to quit but I also feel like if I quit I am going to fuck my life up, but mentally I dont know if i can do all 4. I just need advice and to talk to someone online (Id feel like such a pussy going in person)

I have hated every single second of my life ever since I got off the bus at Lackland. Fuck that, ever since I stepped foot off the plane at the air port. Basic training was genuine suffering for me, boring bullshit, pointless rules, restriction, dumbasses, egotistical sergeants, weird shit in the showers.

Emphasis on the weird shit in the showers. Dudes have made comments about my body, stared at me, touched me, looked at me through stall doors, pantsed me, good gamed me, licked their lips at me, winked at me. All this weird ass shit and they play it off as a joke. I don't see anything funny about it tbh, they all do it to each other like it's normal. I never knew that grown ass men had such compulsion to touch each other and make gay jokes so much. It's not middle school it's just weird now. 40 year old men behaving like children with people half their age holy shit.

Out of all the dumb decisions I have made in my 20 years of life this has got to be the worst. I only joined because I need money and the economy sucks. Couldn't afford college and wanted to avoid debt. In hindsight I should've just taken the debt. I don't even agree with America or its military industrial complex I only joined out of necessity.

My mental health is genuinely taking such a steep decline. I cannot imagine being at this tech school for a year, and then going to another tech school for 4 months just to learn fucking Persian-farsi. I didn't even want this fucking job and I do not care about being in Monterey. Today is the 77th day that I have been in the Air Force. I spent 66 days in basic because I got recycled over some stupid shit that wasn't even my fault. That was the worst time in my life, that might genuinely top when my dad died right before my senior year of Highschool.

I hear that after 180 days I can get out with VA benefits for mental health. How do I do this? The military has made me such an angry, frustrated, depressed, nihilistic, cynical person and I want out. How the fuck do I get outta here? Please help I will genuinely blow my shit smooth off if I can't leave.

TLDR: I was the victim of weird shit in showers in basic, I hate being here, Ive been in 77 days, my mental health is declining, I don't want to be in tech school for 2 years, I want to get out with mental health benefits for what the military has done to me. Please advise.

That is all.

They want me to do weekly therapy with a therapist I don’t like and are forcing me to go to groups where I do workbooks. They’re also limiting me driving to work until I prove I’m safe. One of them literally called me out on not using sir or ma’am when I literally had a panic attack a few minutes ago.

You know when leadership tries to get you to stay in by talking about how bad the economy is and how I won’t get healthcare, the pulled all that today.

Please tell me what to do because I’m going to go to the ER. Even though I don’t want to do psych hold, I can’t deal with what I’m dealing with anymore.

Basically, after two days of getting out of the psych ward, I put myself back in because I flipped out and didn’t like anything they were telling me. Not a good idea, but not too bad since my previous appointments with BH weren’t convincing enough to even get recommended for sep. I have a mandatory appointment with BH on Monday and I need help making sure I say the right things to get admin sep. My psychiatrist in the ward literally told me not to say suicide again tho and he urged/recommended BH to separate me. BH agrees too. Idk if my commander agrees tho.

My shirt said the longest it took someone is 8 months to admin sep for failing their PT tests. So I’m gonna give myself 3-8 months on when I could get out.

Also, if you can give advice on what to prep for to get out, that would be helpful. I’m 20F and live in a big city.

I’m currently in A school and about to go into my second week of classes. I am reaching the 180 day ELS point and I am nervous to talk to anyone. I genuinely can’t do it anymore even though I keep pushing. I am worried I lose myself mentally but I am afraid no one will take me seriously. I have been in since December 2025, and I am constantly feeling depressed. I also have issues going on at home. Thank you in advance!

Hopefully it is still possible to separate within this time period. I made a huge mistake by coming here. The benefits are great, but at what cost.

The American military is filled with unbelievably pointless rules that make zero sense. Which ones did you hate the most?

So I just did my first appointment today and they'll be assigning me a MTF Provider and I just want to say how it will go from there? I'm also in the ELS period if that makes sense or makes any difference but I'm just asking how would it play out they say all that process could take up to a few weeks or months someone please help😞

Been thinking about this since I graduated bootcamp. I’m currently in a school and I hate this shit. Ik I sound like a pussy since im not even to the fleet yet but I can’t do it. My mental health has been going down ever since I got to bootcamp and I can’t imagine it gets better when I get to the fleet. Ik it’s dumb but I’m seriously thinking about just up and leaving or popping hot.

I’m only 6 months into my navy career and at A school. Yet, I’ve already gotten myself into trouble and I don’t understand how. I’m a very prosocial person. Classmates are cool with me. Before the Navy, I loved college and did well. Never got into trouble. Since childhood to adulthood I’ve always been seen as a "good kid". And now here I’m getting myself into trouble. Any sort of response back simply calmly and politely pointing out a contradiction, misunderstanding, or lie/exaggeration is viewed as being disrespectful. I guess I am supposed to let someone lie or misconstrue what occurred bc they are higher ranking??? I’m becoming so exhausted from it. I truly don’t understand how people can be so egotistical and arrogant. And they don’t feel embarrassed or morally ashamed. That’s really what baffles me. Why do they not feel shame for their behavior? Why do they feel inclined to laugh at people and make a spectacle of them. There’s nothing fun about that. It is the most low level of enjoyment. I’m really trying to keep my head down and graduate but every day in school is like walking on egg shells. It’s incredibly emotionally exhausting, and I’ve already gotten myself a counseling chit.

Someone please tell me method on how to get first assignment changed at this point im willing to do anything

So I have drill this weekend and AT in June and I always get super anxious before drill. I just needed somewhere to vent because I’ve been holding all of this in and it’s been really weighing on me.

I also have an AFT coming up and honestly I’m already kind of expecting to fail it. Last time I took it I failed the run by like two minutes and since then I haven’t really been running at all. I know that’s on me but it’s like I get stuck avoiding it because I’m anxious about it and then it just keeps getting worse.

Lately my depression has been really bad and it’s not just normal sadness. It feels like this heavy type of sadness that doesn’t really go away and it just sits on me all day. It affects everything I do day to day. I procrastinate everything, I can’t get myself to do basic stuff, even things like laundry or brushing my hair feel like way too much. Some days I just lay in bed and don’t really do anything because I don’t have the motivation for anything.

Most days I just feel really low and drained and like I hate life. It’s not even just one feeling, it’s like sadness, anxiety, anger, and fear all mixed together all the time. And it’s getting to the point where it’s affecting everything I do and how I function.

And honestly all of this is because of the Army for me. I’ve said in other posts before how badly I want out, and that hasn’t changed at all. If anything it’s just gotten worse. Everything with drill, AT, and the AFT just adds to how overwhelmed I already feel and it makes me not want to be in anymore. I really don’t want to be in the Army.

I’ve been going to therapy and talking to behavioral health but I still feel the same. I just want out. I don’t know how long it takes or what I even have to do to prove that I can’t keep doing this anymore, but mentally I feel like I’m reaching a point where I can’t keep pushing through it the way I am now.

If I fail the AFT again I don’t even know what’s going to happen and that uncertainty has just been sitting in the back of my mind making everything worse.

So I’ve been meeting with an off-base psychiatrist regarding my history of depression and anxiety attacks.

She has recommended I re-connect with on-post BH before my next schedule on-post appointment in June to let them know I’ve been seeing on-post help who thinks I should be separated.

She (off post psychiatrist) was very concerned that I used to be prescribed Xanax, Zoloft, etc for depression and anxiety and yet none of that came up at MEPS and I was allowed into the military with no waivers.

Does anyone have any advice for next steps?

Edited the post from earlier since it was too long:

The day I made my last post, I called BH and said I wanted to kill myself and asked for ERs, and they sent my shirt and supervisor to take me, which felt humiliating. I got put on a 72-hour psych hold (stayed 2 extra days cuz of the weekend), and while I hated it at first, I actually adjusted and didn’t feel suicidal there. I had to talk to the psych ward director (former navy psychiatrist) on why I was there because my psychiatrist didn’t have much experience with military and was giving me bad advice. Director recommended civilian care (group, weekly therapist, intensive outpatient), which I said yes too because military care hasn’t helped me, and she said it shouldn’t be an issue, but none of that got passed on to my psychiatrist. So when I told my psychiatrist, she presented it to BH as my idea and something I recommended. So BH denied all civilian care and said everything has to be on base, calling it too expensive/not covered by tricare (which isn’t true), and now I’m gonna be stuck doing group sessions and seeing the same therapist that hasn’t helped before for 4 weeks. Wouldn’t have been a problem if I just wanted to get admin sep but I was looking for real help to finish my contract. They even moved me to a new unit because I refused to let my shirt drive me to the ER (is that normal?). I also start work tomorrow. What hurts most is I left the hospital feeling hopeful for once, then saw uniforms waiting and my whole mood dropped. Now I’m talking to leadership tomorrow about what we’re going to do next and about admin sep and I’m scared they’ll deny it or drag it out. I hate all the “we’re here for you” crap. Any advice? If you’re around my age (F20) and dealing with something similar, feel free to PM me I’ll send my number to do a phone call since I have no one to talk to.

I want to go through the process of applying. But I am afraid of retaliation as I know that has a precedent of happening.

Just got to AIT and to be honest I already wanted to quit at basic but pushed through to make my family happy now I want out cause I’m dealing with mental health issues and I’m wondering if me just going to sick call and telling them that I’m suicidal is the best way to get separated from the army please someone tell me the fastest and best way out thanks