u/Objective-Prune-8693

Hello,

During basic I was assaulted in showers which has led me to feeling anxious around large groups of people, feelings of constant pessimism, paranoia, and constant frustration. Essentially, people in basic just like to play grab ass for whatever reason and play stupid pranks on each other. I got pantsed, Someone also smacked my ass while I was fully naked waiting for the showers to open, I am not sure who because I was surrounded by so many people. There's 50something people fighting to get like 10 shower heads.

People making gay, inappropriate sexual jokes with each other (There's nothing wrong with being gay if that's what you're into but don't do it while people are naked trying to shower.) Some guy flashed a group of us, people doing the helicopter, people winking and biting their lips at me and at others(although they probably mean it in a joking way I think it's still really creepy and odd). Playing, chasing each other through the showers, purposefully splashing soap and water on me. Some guy literally chased me through the dorm once in the second week of training ass naked while I was in my underwear, he got ELS'd though for popping hot on the drug test. People making really weird remarks about me, staring at my genitals etc.

The jarring part is that it progressively got weirder and weirder as the weeks went by. I don't know if it was all the pent up testosterone from being separated from women or what, but I've played sports my entire life and never experienced such strange things in the showers. Dudes were full on dry humping and cuddling by the end of basic. I tried to ignore these things but I can't stop thinking about the shit that happened. Some guy literally reached under the stall door while I was changing and grabbed my leg. Like why? I don't get it. I am very skeptical of people now.

As time went on I began to hate being around other and hate the wingman policy, I just wanted to be alone for once. I'd get mad at people that hadn't even done anything to me just because I had to be around them. Couldn't even take a piss without someone attached to my hip. I ended up getting a U in the 6th week of training for leaving my wingman behind which led to me getting recycled.

Being in large groups of people frustrates me because you tend to get bumped and shoved when forming up, which is ordinarily no big issue, but now I just think about all the times I had to deal with some fucking wet naked guy bumping me and squeezing past me. It got to the point where I wouldn't even shower with everyone else, I'd wait until everyone was sleep after lights out just to shower on my own. I hate this shit. I feel like a pussy for handling this the way that I am. I have many other things I can list here that happened in my 66 days in basic training.

Now I'm in tech school and I want to report this to BH but then I think they might just ELS me for these feelings. I have only been here a week. How can I justify wanting to uncontrollably beat the shit out of some guy because he bumped be during morning formation? I actually need the Air Force I have no other options back where I am from. I have no home to return to and I do not know what to do. I have already missed two morning formations and had to meet with a MTL about it because I don't want to be out there around others. Please advise.

TLDR: During basic training I dealt with constant weird/inappropriate behavior in the showers and dorms: getting pantsed, slapped/grabbed while naked, sexual jokes, people flashing, dry humping, chasing each other around naked, staring at genitals, etc. Over time it got progressively worse and started seriously messing with my head.

Now I’m constantly anxious and angry around large groups of people, especially during formations where people are bumping into each other. I became so uncomfortable around others that I’d wait until everyone was asleep just to shower alone. I also started hating the wingman policy because I felt like I could never get space from people.

Eventually I got recycled after leaving my wingman behind because I just wanted to be alone for once. Now I’m in tech school and struggling even more. I’m avoiding formations, missed two already, and I’m becoming extremely reactive/angry over small things like someone bumping into me.

I want to go to Behavioral Health because I know this isn’t normal, but I’m terrified they’ll ELS me. I need the Air Force and don’t really have anything stable to go back to if I get separated.

Has anyone dealt with something similar or gone to BH for this without getting kicked out?

I have hated every single second of my life ever since I got off the bus at Lackland. Fuck that, ever since I stepped foot off the plane at the air port. Basic training was genuine suffering for me, boring bullshit, pointless rules, restriction, dumbasses, egotistical sergeants, weird shit in the showers.

Emphasis on the weird shit in the showers. Dudes have made comments about my body, stared at me, touched me, looked at me through stall doors, pantsed me, good gamed me, licked their lips at me, winked at me. All this weird ass shit and they play it off as a joke. I don't see anything funny about it tbh, they all do it to each other like it's normal. I never knew that grown ass men had such compulsion to touch each other and make gay jokes so much. It's not middle school it's just weird now. 40 year old men behaving like children with people half their age holy shit.

Out of all the dumb decisions I have made in my 20 years of life this has got to be the worst. I only joined because I need money and the economy sucks. Couldn't afford college and wanted to avoid debt. In hindsight I should've just taken the debt. I don't even agree with America or its military industrial complex I only joined out of necessity.

My mental health is genuinely taking such a steep decline. I cannot imagine being at this tech school for a year, and then going to another tech school for 4 months just to learn fucking Persian-farsi. I didn't even want this fucking job and I do not care about being in Monterey. Today is the 77th day that I have been in the Air Force. I spent 66 days in basic because I got recycled over some stupid shit that wasn't even my fault. That was the worst time in my life, that might genuinely top when my dad died right before my senior year of Highschool.

I hear that after 180 days I can get out with VA benefits for mental health. How do I do this? The military has made me such an angry, frustrated, depressed, nihilistic, cynical person and I want out. How the fuck do I get outta here? Please help I will genuinely blow my shit smooth off if I can't leave.

TLDR: I was the victim of weird shit in showers in basic, I hate being here, Ive been in 77 days, my mental health is declining, I don't want to be in tech school for 2 years, I want to get out with mental health benefits for what the military has done to me. Please advise.

What jobs are transferrable, have decent hours, good certifications and base assignments in the Air Force? I need to compile a list since I will probably get declassed out of DLI.

Interested in knowing what tech schools are the best in the Air Force based on job, location, rules/restrictions, leadership, likelihood of getting a good 1st base assignment etc.