r/questioning

For starters, to everyone in my life i'm straight, but I have accepted that I have a slight attraction towards women.

Ok for some bg, since i've been a young teen girl l've occasionally interacted with wlw nsfw content and it made me wonder if I was in someway bi as i've never questioned my attraction to men. But i found many articles online saying that a lot of straight women also enjoy wiw nsfw content because it focuses on what a woman would enjoy.

So I remained with the idea that it's a normal straight girl thing.

Okay, cool.

But i'm a few years older and in uni now and my current roommate who also happens to be apart of my freshman year friend group is arguably very gay. She doesn't hide it in any way and is comfortable with that fact as far as I can tell.

The issue is is that she's very physically affectionate and we weren't close when we first moved in but now we are very close to eachoher. She likes to cuddle a lot and being her roommate I see the most of that. She gives me a lot of kisses on my cheek and on my head and an unimaginable amount of hugs. From the side, the back (lol), or regularly.

Recently she's started cuddling with me but laying her head/face in my chest and in general her touches kinda make me nervous and re-question my sexuality. Which lead me to the first conclusion above. We also sometimes hold hands when walking places just the two of us.

But I can't seem to differentiate now what would be normal physical affection for romantic affection ever since her cuddling “style” changed. Recently she's started cuddling with me but laying her head/face in my chest and in general her touches kinda make me nervous and re-question my sexuality. I'm not sure if i'm dumb for thinking that she could like me romantically when haven't told anyone that I sorta like girls but I do kinc more opinions on the matter. Which lead me to the first conclusion above.

But I can't seem to differentiate what would be normal physical affection for romantic affection. I'm not sure if i'm dumb for thinking that she could like me romantically when I haven't told anyone that I sorta like girls but I do kinda want more opinions on the matter.

Also I know for her it wouldn't be fair to pursue anything with me as it would take me a while to want to be open with my sexuality and I wouldn't want her to feel like i'm ashamed.

Feel free to ask any follow up questions i'm an open book.

Also my first time posting on here so sorry if I kinda jump around.

TL:DR

I'm a "straight" girl who lives with her gay (not sure what label but definitely into women) roommate who is very physically affectionate and I cant tell if she likes me orifim dumb for thinking that because i'm not openly gay. also understand that it was be disadvantageous for her to pursue something with me while im in the closet. I wanna hear outside opinions on my situation.

I have some crushes on fictional men (the Love and Deepspace men) but irl if you asked me if I liked the reality of dating men I’d say no. I have very little interest in dating attainable men and I don’t have any crushes on unattainable men (celebrities). But I like some of the fantasies of fictional men. Does this sound like comphet or that I’m bi with a preference for women and like very few men. I also am starting to find out I’m demisexual which makes this situation even harder to figure out. 😵‍💫

I know for sure that I like men. Two years ago I had the realization that I might like women. Over the course of these couple years I’ve had fleeting thoughts or even imagined myself being with a girl. And i definitely don’t hate it. On a scale of “wanting”, I’d rank it about 5/10. I don’t mind the idea of being with a girl but I’ve never gone out of my way to actively seek it. I’ve never been with a guy either but all the crushes I’ve had on men I’ve acted on/tried to befriend or get close to them. I’ve never had a crush on a girl for a long period of time, even when they show interest in me. However. Sometimes I do find myself looking at women and feeling sexually attracted to them. Sometimes in bed instead of an imagining a man cuddling me, I’d picture being with a woman. And in a few instances that thought will make me blush more. I had an interaction with a girl the other day. I was waiting in line and I found myself praying that the cute girl would call ME to her register and she did! My heart was thumping so fast, I stammered and was really nervous. I did want to impress her and I lingered to make small talk, which isn’t something i normally do. Still, on the other hand, thinking about women that way sometimes feels forced. A label is supposed to feel right and I’ve always felt conflict about “bi”. Like i was a liar or it didn’t really fit. I only feel attracted to girls about 10% of the time. About 7% of that is sexual and the other 3% is romantic. I can see myself married to a girl, sure. But I feel pleasant but also neutral about that idea vs the idea of a man is exciting to me.

19f, never kissed anyone or had a partner. I swear Im straight, but I questioned my sexuality since the 5th grade to 10th and I dont know why and now its back.

Ive been on hinge hoping to gain some experience and I set it as only open to men. However, at a halloween party I met a girl dressed as magic Mike and I genuinely can't stop thinking about her. And now the door has opened again since I have a celebrity crush on woman. But those aren't good indicators to if I like women so I want to see what its like in real life.

The problem is that I dont do hookups. its just not my thing. So I would need to "try" a relationship with someone. But thats a terrible thing to do if I end up being straight. It would be like getting someone to be my guinea pig.

And maybe I should just let this part of me go since I get uncomfortable with the thought of same sex couples getting married even though Im not trying to think that way... I just wish I could explore without pressure and without it being harmful to someone else.

Ever since I was 11 I was questioning if I was into girls. I’ve pretty much always liked boys and as I’ve gotten into Highschool I would say I kind of like the validation more than anything. I don’t have a huge desire to date a guy and I pretty much like the idea of a guy liking me and me fantasizing about it but as for a in depth relationship it seems like a jail cell. I’ve dated 2 guys before and broke up with both of them because I didn’t feel seen. I’ve dated a girl before although it was in middle school and wasn’t necessarily very serious, however when me and the girl kissed it felt completely different from when I kissed my highschool boyfriend. When I remember kissing the girl it felt like a whole bunch of sparks were going off and I remember I didn’t even get to close my eyes because of how shocked I was. And as for my highschool boyfriend, kissing him was pleasant I would say but it felt less exciting if that makes since ? I think I was happy because a boy liked me in that way because I also am a very insecure person . And the reason me and my ex girlfriend broke up is because one day she randomly texted me and said “ I can’t date girls because I don’t want to go to hell” that comment and my overly religious parents make feel very ashamed to question anything about myself and my friends aren’t quite accepting of the lgbtq community as well, i like the idea of having a boyfriend and a guy liking me but in reality i like the idea of having a girlfriend and feel more sexually and emotionally attached to them considering the fact that I wouldn’t per say do anything sexual with a guy at this age but i would if it came down to it with a girl. Im sorry for this really confused message idk what im searching for but I would like an answer or analysis of what someone thinks i might be

first I'm a cis straight girl in highschool, I have a lot of gay friends in my friend group and lot of people think I'm gay because of that. I'm rather shy and reserved when I'm in large crowds but open up in smaller groups. For looks, I'm 5'0 and wear oversized beige sweaters and sweat pants all the time sometimes with a sweater vest if the weathers nice, I think the correct word for how I look is 'futch' but idk a lot about fashion.

Anyways, a few months ago when I was in art class I was talking to one of my friends and sexuality came up, I told her I was straight and she was surprised. I forgot exactly what she said but she thought I was on the 'spectrum' I thought she meant the autism spectrum but that wasn't the case, she said 'I'll find out eventually'.

To this day I still have no idea what she meant, maybe you guys can come up with something?

I used to be like fairly gay when I was younger. I kissed like maybe 2-3 girls, dated girls online (mostly for the love of the game), lowkey was super attracted to Jasmine from Aladdin, and always wondered if it was possible for a girl and a girl to date. No one had told me about gay people yet so I thought I was breaking new ground or something, but when I did finally find out about the LGBTQ+ community in like 5th grade I was intrigued. I didn't think about it till maybe 6th grade, whenever I was like 11-12 and I thought I was bisexual. My mom let me buy a mini bi-flag (she probably didn't know what it was) but when I tried "coming out" to her she said that I was too young to think that and that the internet had influenced me too much. Since then I've kind of been pushing the idea of me being bisexual down a lot, and for like a whole decade it's been a thing in the back of my mind.

I'm very confused about myself because I kind of agree with what my mom was saying that the internet may have "influenced" me too much as a kid. Obviously you can't get like "turned gay" or anything like that, but I think as a kid I was seeing a lot of queer content and I just thought it was cool and I looked up to them because everyone seemed so confident and happy. Even though I know you can't be turned bi, there's a voice in my head telling me that I'm just turning myself bi "for attention". Some days I feel like Bi is the right label for me, other days it feels like it would just be a lie.

Let me mention that I did grow up in a Catholic household, but I'm not sure how much of an influence that has had over my confusion. My mom wasn't like homophobic because of religious, she's not really truly homophobic at all. Her sister's gay and she supports her, but she has said things like "Before your aunt was gay" but I think it just comes out ignorance. When she told me I wasn't bi she didn't cite the bible or anything, I think it came more out of her hatred for democrats.

I do and have felt attraction to women (I forgot to mention I'm a girl but you probably figured that out by now), but I still wonder if it's made up attraction. I've always felt attraction to men, romantically and sexual, but with women if I were to feel any attraction it feels it would only be romantical, so that imbalance of feeling sexual with one gender but not with the other also throws me off. It's like once in a blue moon I'll think about sex with a woman, but it doesn't really give me the same kind of excitement as with a man. I do like the idea of holding hands, kissing, cuddling, going on dates, and having a life with a woman sometimes, but again: is that just in my head for attention???

I've kind of simmered my idea of my sexuality down to a joke, 96% straight but 4% gay. I know I don't have to put a label on anything, but I feel like I wouldn't belong if I didn't. And if I did, I still don't belong because I always hear about cases of Biphobia so fuck me I guess. I don't really know why I'm making this post, maybe just to hear if anyone else has had a similar experience or advice. Might delete later out of embarrassment lol.