u/Exotic_Industry1805

I know for sure that I like men. Two years ago I had the realization that I might like women. Over the course of these couple years I’ve had fleeting thoughts or even imagined myself being with a girl. And i definitely don’t hate it. On a scale of “wanting”, I’d rank it about 5/10. I don’t mind the idea of being with a girl but I’ve never gone out of my way to actively seek it. I’ve never been with a guy either but all the crushes I’ve had on men I’ve acted on/tried to befriend or get close to them. I’ve never had a crush on a girl for a long period of time, even when they show interest in me. However. Sometimes I do find myself looking at women and feeling sexually attracted to them. Sometimes in bed instead of an imagining a man cuddling me, I’d picture being with a woman. And in a few instances that thought will make me blush more. I had an interaction with a girl the other day. I was waiting in line and I found myself praying that the cute girl would call ME to her register and she did! My heart was thumping so fast, I stammered and was really nervous. I did want to impress her and I lingered to make small talk, which isn’t something i normally do. Still, on the other hand, thinking about women that way sometimes feels forced. A label is supposed to feel right and I’ve always felt conflict about “bi”. Like i was a liar or it didn’t really fit. I only feel attracted to girls about 10% of the time. About 7% of that is sexual and the other 3% is romantic. I can see myself married to a girl, sure. But I feel pleasant but also neutral about that idea vs the idea of a man is exciting to me.

Yesterday I was having a chat with a friend (straight) and she told me that she kissed a girl. I was shocked and immediately asked if her boyfriend knew that she cheated. She laughed and said that he had been there. It was a dare, she asked permission and the boyfriend agreed. She said it didn’t count as cheating because both the girls were straight. I felt icky about it. It’s like straight people devalue same sex relationships by seeing same-gendered affection as something that doesn’t count.

I (female) know for sure that I like men. Two years ago I had the realization that I might like women. Over the course of these couple years I’ve had fleeting thoughts or even imagined myself being with a girl. And i definitely don’t hate it. On a scale of “wanting”, I’d rank it about 5/10. I don’t mind the idea of being with a girl but I’ve never gone out of my way to actively seek it. I’ve never been with a guy either but all the crushes I’ve had on men I’ve acted on/tried to befriend or get close to them. I’ve never had a crush on a girl for a long period of time, even when they show interest in me. However. Sometimes I do find myself looking at women and feeling sexually attracted to them. Sometimes in bed instead of an imagining a man cuddling me, I’d picture being with a woman. And in a few instances that thought will make me blush more. I had an interaction with a girl the other day. I was waiting in line and I found myself praying that the cute girl would call ME to her register and she did! My heart was thumping so fast, I stammered and was really nervous. I did want to impress her and I lingered to make small talk, which isn’t something i normally do. Still, on the other hand, thinking about women that way sometimes feels forced. A label is supposed to feel right and I’ve always felt conflict about “bi”. Like i was a liar or it didn’t really fit. I only feel attracted to girls about 10% of the time. About 7% of that is sexual and the other 3% is romantic. I can see myself married to a girl, sure. But I feel pleasant but also neutral about that idea vs the idea of a man is exciting to me.