Questioning my sexuality
Ever since I was 11 I was questioning if I was into girls. I’ve pretty much always liked boys and as I’ve gotten into Highschool I would say I kind of like the validation more than anything. I don’t have a huge desire to date a guy and I pretty much like the idea of a guy liking me and me fantasizing about it but as for a in depth relationship it seems like a jail cell. I’ve dated 2 guys before and broke up with both of them because I didn’t feel seen. I’ve dated a girl before although it was in middle school and wasn’t necessarily very serious, however when me and the girl kissed it felt completely different from when I kissed my highschool boyfriend. When I remember kissing the girl it felt like a whole bunch of sparks were going off and I remember I didn’t even get to close my eyes because of how shocked I was. And as for my highschool boyfriend, kissing him was pleasant I would say but it felt less exciting if that makes since ? I think I was happy because a boy liked me in that way because I also am a very insecure person . And the reason me and my ex girlfriend broke up is because one day she randomly texted me and said “ I can’t date girls because I don’t want to go to hell” that comment and my overly religious parents make feel very ashamed to question anything about myself and my friends aren’t quite accepting of the lgbtq community as well, i like the idea of having a boyfriend and a guy liking me but in reality i like the idea of having a girlfriend and feel more sexually and emotionally attached to them considering the fact that I wouldn’t per say do anything sexual with a guy at this age but i would if it came down to it with a girl. Im sorry for this really confused message idk what im searching for but I would like an answer or analysis of what someone thinks i might be