[F 19] “Straight” girl who might have a crush on her roommate
For starters, to everyone in my life i'm straight, but I have accepted that I have a slight attraction towards women.
Ok for some bg, since i've been a young teen girl l've occasionally interacted with wlw nsfw content and it made me wonder if I was in someway bi as i've never questioned my attraction to men. But i found many articles online saying that a lot of straight women also enjoy wiw nsfw content because it focuses on what a woman would enjoy.
So I remained with the idea that it's a normal straight girl thing.
Okay, cool.
But i'm a few years older and in uni now and my current roommate who also happens to be apart of my freshman year friend group is arguably very gay. She doesn't hide it in any way and is comfortable with that fact as far as I can tell.
The issue is is that she's very physically affectionate and we weren't close when we first moved in but now we are very close to eachoher. She likes to cuddle a lot and being her roommate I see the most of that. She gives me a lot of kisses on my cheek and on my head and an unimaginable amount of hugs. From the side, the back (lol), or regularly.
Recently she's started cuddling with me but laying her head/face in my chest and in general her touches kinda make me nervous and re-question my sexuality. Which lead me to the first conclusion above. We also sometimes hold hands when walking places just the two of us.
But I can't seem to differentiate now what would be normal physical affection for romantic affection ever since her cuddling “style” changed. Recently she's started cuddling with me but laying her head/face in my chest and in general her touches kinda make me nervous and re-question my sexuality. I'm not sure if i'm dumb for thinking that she could like me romantically when haven't told anyone that I sorta like girls but I do kinc more opinions on the matter. Which lead me to the first conclusion above.
But I can't seem to differentiate what would be normal physical affection for romantic affection. I'm not sure if i'm dumb for thinking that she could like me romantically when I haven't told anyone that I sorta like girls but I do kinda want more opinions on the matter.
Also I know for her it wouldn't be fair to pursue anything with me as it would take me a while to want to be open with my sexuality and I wouldn't want her to feel like i'm ashamed.
Feel free to ask any follow up questions i'm an open book.
Also my first time posting on here so sorry if I kinda jump around.
TL:DR
I'm a "straight" girl who lives with her gay (not sure what label but definitely into women) roommate who is very physically affectionate and I cant tell if she likes me orifim dumb for thinking that because i'm not openly gay. also understand that it was be disadvantageous for her to pursue something with me while im in the closet. I wanna hear outside opinions on my situation.