r/okstorytime

Warning: talk of ODing

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting so bare with me. I have been a fan of Charlotte and OK story time for years.

So for a little background I have an 8 year old son that I had with an ex bf when I was in my early 20s. He was a good guy at heart but he had a lot of issues. When I got pregnant and had our son everything changed. He started doing drugs and lying about it (he had been to rehab a few times since he was 13 but I had no idea how bad his problem really was). When my son was about 4 months old I left our apartment because I got tired of covering his part of the bills when I was on leave from work to take care of our son. I had saved all throughout my pregnancy working as a server to have enough money to cover my part of the bills during my pregnancy leave.

After I moved out and moved back in with my mom, his life went down hill. He went from working at a great company with great benefits, to working as a delivery person. During this time he crashed a few cars and his parents were always there to “help” him get back on his feet.

We didn’t have any custody agreement because we weren’t married at any point and he was not financially contributing at all. So here I am at almost 22 years old with a 6 month old. I ended up getting a desk job Monday through Friday and putting my son in daycare full time. I paid for everything. My ex couldn’t even help with diapers so I just stopped asking.

At some point my ex started asking to see our son for a few hours on the weekend. At first I was all about it because I hadn’t had any time to myself since having my son. But after about the second time of letting him spend time with his son unsupervised, my son got hurt. Basically my ex took something and passed out on his bed in the room he rented that was on the second floor. The grownup he rented the room from called me frantic because my son had somehow ended up downstairs all by himself and she couldn’t wake up my ex. So I dropped everything and went to get my son. I found my ex passed out with drugs on his bed. Thankfully the adult in the house was a parent and cared for my son until I got there.

So at this point I tell him any and all his visits with our son must be supervised by his parents(my ex mother in law) or myself. This was about a year and a half into my son’s life. I was already paying for everything and I was definitely not going to court for child support when there was a possibility of my ex getting alone time with my son so I just took the L and paid for everything myself.

When my son was 3 my ex went back into rehab because his parents couldn’t handle his erratic drug use and behavior. About a month or 2 in he complained about having pain and his parents did an early checkout so he could come home and do his recovery there, at least that’s what they thought at the time.

For the first time in 3 years I started dating and was asked to go on vacation. So my ex and his parents agreed to watch my son for the weekend so I could go on this trip. I was reluctant and at the time I had no idea that my exs parents had checked him out of rehab early. What I was told was that rehab had let him come home for Father’s Day. So the morning of my trip I start driving to drop of my son at daycare so I could go to work and I got a bad feeling so I called my exs rehab supervisor to check on his progress. Imagine my surprise when I’m told that he had been checked out for 2 weeks already. I felt lied to and betrayed. Not only by my ex but also his parents. I called them and went off on them for lying to me. At that point I was ready to cancel my trip and just stay home with my son, but my exs mom convinced me that everything would be ok and that I deserved a little get away so I caved and continued as planned. BIG mistake.

As I sat by the pool enjoying my vacation, I get a call from my exs mom, so I immediately answer it. She tells me her son OD’d and she had DCF at her house. Let’s just say my 4 hour trip home turned into 2 1/2. By the time I got to my son, my ex was brain dead.

At the time I was angry, upset, confused, sad and I just could not understand how someone could even consider taking drugs when they have their son in the room right next door.

After all this I met the love of my life and we moved in together. He became my son’s father and I didn’t even have to ask or say anything.

Skip forward to a few weeks ago and I am still with the love of my life and we have 4 wonderful kids all together. My son goes to his grandparents for the weekend and when he comes home he tells me his grandmother told him that my husband is not his dad and that he was only his step dad. My son was confused because even though he knows about his biological father, my husband is the only real father he’s ever known.

So WIBTA if I confronted my ex mother in law and told her she’s not allowed to say things like that to my son or he won’t be coming there anymore. In reality my ex was never a good father to our son, he never contributed or made our lives any better. I struggled as a single mom with no help because my parents believed I had to do it on my own.

My exs parents are not bad people at all, they have been there offering any help I needed throughout the way and I’m very grateful. But this is not the first time they have said something like this to my son and I don’t believe it will be the last.

I understand as a mother that keeping your child’s memory alive is important. I get it. But it’s not like my ex was a great father for his mom to speak so highly of him. I don’t want my son thinking that his bio dad was this amazing guy that did everything for him, when in reality he was never there and I did it all alone.

So Reddit WIBTA?

So I (22F) need advice about whether I should tell a friend about my past experience with a guy who used to be obsessed with me.

From around 2021 until the end of 2023 there was this guy, I’ll call him John — who became extremely attached to me. We were about a year apart in age, and at the time I was around 17-19.

At first, he would constantly trauma dump on me about his family and personal problems, even though I made it clear multiple times that I wasn’t interested in him romantically. I tried to keep distance, but he kept pushing himself into my life.

One mistake I made early on was asking him to go stationery shopping with me once because no one else was available and I didn’t want to go alone, it was a hot day and we got ice cream afterwards (looking back i probably shouldn’t have done that!) I was always nice to him because I felt like everyone deserves kindness and I thought it would feel safer than going alone. After that, he became even more attached.

He started spreading rumors about me and telling people that I was his girlfriend, even though I told him several times that I was not interested in him.

He would show up wherever I was, even attending events at my school that were only meant for students from my school. He constantly called and texted me, and when I didn’t respond, he would sometimes get other guys from my school to send messages to me on his behalf. John would literally spawn out of nowhere like some type of pokémon.

For a long time, I didn’t even know the rumors he was spreading. People would ask me why I was denying my “boyfriend,” and I was completely confused because I never dated him.

At that time, there was a guy I actually liked. John made that situation difficult because he started threatening other guys who tried to talk to me and „claimed“ me as his girlfriend. 🫩🥀

During that time, I felt extremely paranoid and scared. There had been a case of a girl around my age who was killed by a boy who was obsessed with her, and that made me even more afraid. I felt like no one believed how serious the situation was, and I honestly felt like I was losing my mind.

Over time, I did everything I could to distance myself from him. I restricted him on social media, changed my phone number, and removed people from my life who kept passing messages from him or supported his behavior. I also reduced my social media presence a lot, I went from having over 2000 followers to around 350, and now I don’t accept requests from people I don’t personally know. Eventually, I moved to another country for university, which finally created real distance.

Fast forward to now; I still feel like I have trauma from everything that happened.

Here’s the current situation: John is now in a relationship with one of my friends. She’s a kind and sweet person, and while we’re not extremely close, I do consider her a good friend. What worries me is that after everything that happened with me, he tried getting close to some of my other friends too. Recently, I was talking to another girl from my home country, and she showed me her DMs and John had messaged her too.

So now I’m wondering: Should I tell my friend about what happened between me and John in the past?

I don’t want to cause drama or interfere in her relationship because she seems really happy and since I’m now living in another country and he doesn’t have access to me anymore. But at the same time, I feel uncomfortable staying silent if there’s a chance she could experience similar behavior. Would it be wrong to tell her about my past experience, or should I stay out of it unless she asks?

I (33F) have been dating lets call him Michael (29M) for about 8 months. A few months ago he expressed wanting to try things with other people in the bedroom and I wasn't completely against that as long as there was transparency and both of us were involved. So far nothing has happened. We have talked to people but nothing transpired. Recently we spent a few days apart while he was dog sitting. He said he stayed up all night into the next day and to me that was a red flag because he never does that. When we saw eachother again I had a suspicion I should check his reddit since thats how we have talked to people in the past. Well I was not prepared for what I found. He was messaging a TF about wanting to meet up and have spicy sleep. I thought at first he might want to do it as a couple, well no thats not the case. He sent some very explicit messages and photos. They then proceeded to exchange snapchats. I asked him if they continued to talk on snapchat after the exchange and he said no. Well yesterday I checked his snapchat and the messages and photos continued there. He not once said he was in a relationship and said some pretty hurtful things in those messages. I typically have a higher drive than him and have no problem having spicy sleep all the time but hes usually the one who doesn't want to. He told this person he wants someone who wants him all the time......Like hello?! What am I?.......I have barely talked to him since he lied to me and broke my trust. He keeps apologizing and saying it ment nothing he was just in the mood. He also said he lied about snapchat because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. I feel stupid for even asking and writing this all out. So would I be over reacting if I broke up with him after this?

So me(28) and my partner(27) have been together for 3.5 years and have lived together for about 3 of those years.

At the beginning things were amazing and I finally felt like I clicked with someone who really understood me after previous failed and extremely unhealthy relationships. My partner has struggled with their mental health their whole life and in recent years it has been quite bad and I have supported them through everything and they have supported me through my mental and physical heath struggles due to an autoimmune condition.

Over the 2 years I have been struggling to find the romantic side of things with them as I have taken into more of a carer role to help them with day to day things. We have discussed this at length as to why I am struggling with it, where we need things to change and why things are not changing but nothing really comes from it except we leave the conversation agreeing that things are not okay between us and then it goes a few weeks/month until it all builds up and we have the same conversation again

I have brought up multiple times with how much I struggle with taking care of all of the household chores and life admin for us and I don’t like having to ask multiple times for them to help when they are able to but having chores pile up bothers me so much and they say it doesn’t bother them and they will do it when they are able to however having things pile up bothers me a lot and I just end up doing it.

I also struggle to bring up if they have done something to upset me or done anything wrong as they get extremely upset due to past trauma (which leads to an intense panic attack and they have developed tics due to anxiety/stress) so I often leave things unsaid until it manifests into me getting upset over something small or I just let it all out. I have let them know this and they agree that it’s difficult for them to hear they have upset me and they are sorry they react so intensely but I have let them know them acknowledging it doesn’t make it any less hard for me to bring things up

They started a job at the beginning of the year and that was the thing that we felt was really going to change things for us as the financial burden would be lifted off me for helping us through the years and they would gain a bit more independence back and I would be able to have some space at home as I work from home so we were constantly on each others toes.

Not much has changed since they have gotten a job except I am enjoying the time alone a lot more. I find myself wanting to spend time out the house by myself or go and see friends and I encourage them to do the same.

I still have so much love for them but I am struggling to see how I can see them in a romantic light again. We have been through so much together(too much to list) and I am forever grateful for how they have helped me but I know that ending things will destroy them and i feel so much responsibility to make sure they are okay and I feel this immense pressure to take care of them

Any advise would be appreciated as I have never ended a relationship and I have come to terms that we need to break up but I have no idea of how to go about it

you all were right . I should have left sooner but now I'm making the right decision and leaving for good.

I thought we were ok and doing good when just two days ago I found out that he had been cheating on me again since January. I had a bad feeling prayed that if he was doing wrong God would show me the truth and my prayer was answered.

my kids and I have been at his house for the April break. Monday night I prayed and that same night he got so drunk I was able to get into his phone with his thumb print and found that he had been cheating on me through Snapchat from January to the most recent message being 12:30 that night. he was texting her obscene things while I was sleeping with my head in his lap.

it gets worse I sent some of the screenshots to his father and he started spilling all the tea on this woman. apparently her mother is a family friend of his fathers and her mom's a pastor. not only that but she's married. to a navy officer.

I've been trying to find this man to let him know what's going on but they both have their socials on lockdown so I'm hoping the good people on here will help me find him. her first initial is k last name Arnold and they are from Virginia. please help me get the truth to this man .