r/ftm

She’s not necessarily transphobic, but she genuinely wants me to go through a humiliation ritual. She thinks that I haven’t been “living and acting as man” at all when 1. I’m out to all of my friends 2. Dress and look masculine all the time 💀

She wants me to completely socially transition and while that is nice, I would rather do that in tandem with hrt and she does nawwwt fw that. I’m 18 and I might be able to wait a couple years, even tho I’d miserable, but she does not understand that it’s extremely humiliating (to me) to be out and call myself a man when I don’t look the part… she thinks that ppl will treat me like a man bcuz I call myself one!! Girl I wish!! ik that I won’t totally pass with hrt immediately, but I’d just be crazy dysphoric if I come out completely but still look like a girl (and treated like one) yk?? She just doesn’t think I’ll be treated like a girl even tho.. I look like one even with masc clothes and presentation💀💀

I’m scared to transition bcuz of what my parents will think (they’ll be disappointed) but damn I rlly want to🥲 I fantasize abt driving to planned parenthood all the time.. maybe one day🥀

I’m about 5 months on T. Body hair ALL OVER lol, minimal facial hair I’ve never been a grower tbh. But my voice has dropped so much that my gf has finally said that she’s pretty sure her whole family knows I’ve changed. I pass like 98% of the time in public even before I speak. I’ve always been a very masculine person, been passing since I was 12 because I cut my hair short after elementary school. But I’ve been one to always feel socially awkward and afraid of confrontation. I don’t want to socially transition until it’s indisputable that I’ve crossed the line of no longer looking like a girl. To make it easier for everyone else.

When did you notice that change happen for you?

it’s such a blatantly stupid comparison, but i’ve been asked it by transphobes more than once, and i’ve never had a super eloquent answer. how do yall respond to this one?

This is a funny story I just wanted to share, so I hope it fits under discussion. Also no, Fat Fuck Dragonite is not a euphemism, it's literally my round bellied pokemon build-a-bear LOL.

I was at a school event just chilling by myself, and someone who I'm not really friends with but I know well enough came and just started chatting with me. We have a few common interests, and shes pretty friendly so I was comfortable enough to show her a stupid picture of my dragonite plushie that I thrifted a few weeks ago. It's important to note that this guy is FAT. All the stuffing accumulates around his belly and makes up for like 70% of his total mass. I like taking 0.5 pictures of him with my camera tilted upward cause it makes him look like a rolling hill with his head being the sunrise just about to disappear into the horizon.

What's also important is that I have a trans pride flag stretched over the underside of my loft bed, and under that flag I have my TV, chair, games ETC. In the photo I was showing my classmate, my pride flag is very visible in the background, like the American flag gently waving in the patriotic breeze behind Uncle Sam. I didn't even realize this in the moment because I was just excited to show off one of my favorite plushies, but she looks at the picture, laughs at my obese little dude, and then pauses. She asks me, "Are you trans?".

It's dead silent. I'm not out at my school, I've been on T for 2 years now and I pass as a cis guy, and I wanna keep it that way. I don't tell anyone unless I have to, and I've never had to. She seems nice enough, so I had a brief dilemma on whether I should come out to this one person, or quickly make up a lie to cover my undercover trans butt for the like 20 more days I have left before graduation. I decided to tell her that I was, about how I'm on T, etc etc. She was like "Oh, okay. Cool!" And it was never brought up again for the rest of the event. She kept my secret too, no one at school has heard about it or has asked me stupid questions, so Im okay. No dramatic ending, I just thought it was a funny story. Hope it made some of y'all laugh too. If enough people ask, I'll post the photo in the comments.

I ask this question because when I pack and people know it’s fake I’m like… do they still sneak a peak? Are people attracted to the packer at all? Or is it just the illusion of having something I could penetrate them with?

I don't know, Carol. It's really hard to say.

And then they go on asking why you didn't correct them on the pronouns and names they were using even though all my files showed clearly I am a male with a male name.

And they get so offended they did that, too. So then I lie and say "don't worry I misgender myself all the time too" to make them stop feeling sorry for themselves.

It's always during professional meetings and emails, too. And it's like dear lord, just copy and paste the name at least. Call me "you" in person. Hell, even call me "that"!

How can I best set boundaries to get people to stop doing this?

I'm 14 years old and this is the second time I've tried coming out to my mom. The thing is my mom is a very traditional person when it comes to her view. Considering the fact that shes a christian (specifically catholic) and from Cameroon (not a very LGBT+ friendly place), I'm having a hard time trying to get her to understand how I feel. I also do struggle with even saying the word transgender and anything related to that so this makes things 1000x times hard. If there are any resources I can direct her towards then please to tell.

Not really nsfw but flagging just in case. Currently running on a major confidence boost rn lol. Ive been on T for like 2-3 years now but no bottom surgery yet just my natal meat.

Anyways (super tmi but) last night I was on one of them sites like omegal and these two dudes thought my bottom growth was a cis penis. They even kept going on about how small it is lmfao (for a CIS dick). Little did they know they were only stroking my ego.

Thought I‘d share because it made me genuinely so happy. I am not on T yet and since I’m 36 I don’t usually pass so well (even though I’m working hard on that). I am also not out to my kid yet because I was advised against it before starting T. So when I picked him up from kindergarten and one of the younger kids yelled „*kids name* your dad is here!“ and genuinely looked completely confused when the kindergartener corrected them going „no that’s his mom.“ and said „no but that’s a dad…“ 🥹 I made little jumps inside.

I have a fiance and I love her very much but sometimes I get these random thoughts that I wish I had gotten to date more women. She is the only women I’ve ever been in a relationship with. It’s not that I don’t want to be with her or that I even want to be with another woman, I think I just want to know if other women would find me attractive as a trans man. It could also be a little bit of the fact that my fiance has been with a lot of people before and so I feel inexperienced.
Sometimes I wish I could’ve been a guy who talked to girls but I feel like a missed out on that.
I feel like that makes me a bad fiance, idk… does anyone else understand this?

I'm unsure if it's arousal fluid or discharge or something else, but it's like I'm constantly... secreting??? For lack of a better word.

Whenever I go to the bathroom there's always a wet/damp spot in my underwear, and it smells like dick so I know it isn't an infection or anything. It's verrrry similar to the consistency of arousal fluid which is why I'm not too terribly concerned. I just want to know how to combat this?? It only started after I started T (Back in Nov '24)

Sometimes it leaks through my underwear to my actual pants and it makes me a little insecure in case somebody sees it and thinks I'm like. The world's biggest horndog. I'm also concerned that other people can smell it? It isn't super strong or a bad smell, it just smells like dick and balls and I can smell it on myself when I sit down sometimes. I shower regularly and change my underwear regularly, but sometimes I have to change two or three times a day because of it.

*is* it just me being a horndog without realising?? Does this just happen?? Hooowwww in the WORLD do I deal with this 😭

I’m ftm , very male presenting , i have my pronouns as “he/him” in my IG bio . and im sorry but i legit look nothing like a girl or someone who goes by other pronouns . I look like a man , act like a man and present as a man . i had one of my friends friend who i’ve met for the very first time ask my pronouns at this music festival we all went to together, when she asked me that i felt very defeated, felt as if i didn’t look enough like a man. She didn’t ask anyone else their pronouns only mine and im honestly really upset about it because why are you singling me out and calling me out in front of all these people that i never have told i was trans . Is it valid to feel weird about this??? sorry but i just needed to rant about this.

Okay so i have a friend lets call him Tim. Tim is agender, masc presenting. He does not know im trans, he thinks im cis. And whenever people ask me how old i am when hes there, he always need to specify that im becoming 17 this year. And i tried telling him not to.

(Reason why i dont want him to say that is because i dont feel like i pass as a 17 yo, but maybe a vety late bloomer at 16. Im starting to get taller, getting a slightly deeper voice and getting visible facial hair tho, surprisingly even not on T yet. But im trying to figure out how to get T before 17, or at 17)

However when i told Tim not to specify me becoming 17, he got pissed and said "but you are becoming 17, whats the problem!" And i didnt know how to explain him this, but i tried telling him that i just dont wanna seem "that old" then he started saying stuff like "yea but what about when you are 17? Its 4 months till you are" and i said "you dont have to tell new people im becoming 17, just dont say anything" and he just got pissed and didnt understand the deal. Like dude just let me enjoy having 4 months left of being 16 😭 i dont understand why he feels the need to say that. He is 17 already

This same dude also does not think i need T because im "cis" to him, but if i was cis just like this, then it would be weird of me to not get T by now or sooner. What should i do? I still wanna pass to Tim but at the same time its so annoying how he dosent validate me. He thinks he has it worse than me because he gets periods, but little does he know 💔

I am having a hard time with how my body shows arousal. When there is a lot of precum/wetness, my mind goes right to how it is preparing my body for penetration. Penetration there is not something I want. I get into my head about it, thinking about how dicks are “supposed” to go inside there, and it just makes me so uncomfortable.

Does anyone have any advice on other ways to look at my body’s reaction? The connection to penetrative sex is what is really bothering me right now, but I’ve never liked that my body responds in this way.

I’m 21 ftm (he/him), I’ve been on T for 2 years and I live in Australia, this is just a quick post because I want some input.

I was talking with my (cisgender) doctor today about something else but I let them know I’d be back in couple days to discuss getting a referral (which I’ve been told I need from them) for an appointment with a top surgeon. They told me I was a bit young and they’d prefer I’d be 25 to do it, I questioned them and to sum it up I said ‘no I’m getting it done I won’t be waiting any longer when this effects my daily life’. The clinic I went to when I started transitioning gave me the name of a surgeon and after 6 months on T really encouraged me to book in to get it done so I don’t know why my doctors opinion would be so different?

I’m going back on Friday to get the referral but I’m just perplexed, they’re an amazing doctor in every other way and this surgery is something I’ve wanted since I was 14. I’m sick of binding and not feeling comfortable going to the beach with my mates, I just want this to go well and now I’m riddled with anxiety that she won’t help me on this path.

Like I said I’m just asking for your inputs on this but also what would you do in this situation?

For context I found out I was trans at 11 but came out at 14 (turning 15 in 2 weeks or so) so 15 things for 15 years

NUMBER 1!!! wishing every night at 22:22 to wake up as a boy!

2. I was/am so depressed I forgot most of the past 4 years. Anyway, going out shirtless

3. To be isekaid

4. Breast cancer (I started wishing for this before I even started puberty)

5. To find out I'm suddenly intersex

6. Leukemia

7. kissing girls

8. To be hit by a car

9. Anything lethal

10. For the entire male population to burn because I was/still am so envious

11. To be born into another family and or in a different country

12. To have never been born at all

13. To be rich so I could actually fully transition

14. Having a dick

15. Going back in time to present as a boy since childhood

Idk how relatable these will be lol

this is kinda vulnerable to post, so please be kind.

I had top surgery 2 years ago. I was very fortunate to have my surgery 100% covered by insurance, but I didn’t get a choice in surgeon (I did exhaust other possibilities). I’m very grateful to have had surgery and I don’t regret it at all. however, I’m a bigger dude and my surgeon didn’t do lipo, so I have excess tissue on my sides and underneath where my incisions were.

I’ve asked for revision, the surgeon was not willing to correct this for free OR to attempt to get insurance coverage. he said if I wanted a revision, I’d have to pay out of pocket and do localized anesthesia/no sedation.

today I saw an IG video of a creator fundraising to repair his “botched” chest. his chest looks just like mine, and it really got to me seeing so many comments of people saying his surgeon should lose their license and stuff like that. it’s making me wonder if I look worse than I think I do.

does anyone have any insight for me, or similar experiences to share? should I try to seek revision from a different surgeon? I’m considering asking my local trans resource center if they could help me but idk.

I’m really struggling with thoughts of detransition 10 months on T.

I can’t tell if I like the changes that have happened or not. I don’t have the feeling of calm or quiet in my mind that people describe after starting HRT. I feel angry and I don’t like my increased libido.

I have experienced a lot of trauma when I lived as a woman that means that I struggle with the thought of passing as a man. It makes it feel like these traumas become invisible as I take on the privilege that being a man holds and I’m uncomfortable with it. I was also in a very horrible toxic relationship when I came out and it got me out of that- so I’m wondering if I desperately wanted a change of circumstances that transitioning would bring me?

It feels so complicated. Sometimes I feel happy when I see stubble growing on my face and other times I feel very confused and scared.

When I see old photos of myself, I feel like I miss her.

I don’t feel any dysphoria alleviating, if anything it seems to just get worse?

I just don’t know what to do or what I want anymore. I was so sad before and I’m so sad now :(

I’ve been having a not so great/very stressful last couple of weeks so I wanted to write down and share one of the best things that’s happened to me recently.

This past weekend I was walking down the sidewalk of my apartment complex when an older woman shouted from behind me “Sir!”. At first I didn’t turn around cause I thought there was simply no way she was talking to me since I’m pre everything other than some men’s pants and a short haircut. I’m also short af and mostly just feel like I look like a masc lesbian. But anyway I turned around and she didn’t try to correct herself or look confused or anything! She just politely asked me if I could help her get her car door open because the handle was broken.

So the old lady was helped and I walked back to my apartment feeling over the fucking moon. That was the first time in my life I had ever been called sir, by a stranger or otherwise. It was wild especially because I live in a very conservative area and just never would have expected it so early in my transition.

This post is now me sending good vibes to the rest of you, hope you get to feel like this sometime soon!

Does anyone else occasionally feel guilty about transitioning?

For context: I've always been very vocal about women's rights, advocating for more research on women's health, empowering women, etc. Recently I've been immersing myself in the whole Manosphere bullshit and starting conversations about the damage it does to everyone (mainly women). But then I somehow started feeling guilty about transitioning into a man.

I know I'm not a bad person and I do not feel called out when people say "I hate men", but somehow I feel like I'm "adding to the problem". I feel like I'm abandoning "sisterhood" even though I never really felt a part of it.

(Before you come at me saying I'm implying men are the problem, I am expressing a personal feeling, not stating my personal beliefs about men.)

Anyway, this is most likely just OCD rumination, but I wanted to know if anyone else has similar feelings.