r/ftm

I identity as a man and I like men. I'm small but im not skinny. I've got some mass on me ig. Idk. They keep saying im a twink but I dont really believe them. That, and I think they're confusing femboy with twink? I dont call myself a femboy either, but i wear makeup. They seem to all agree that wearing makeup and being small makes me a twink. To them, being a twink is bad. They describe people they dont like as "evil twinks" or they see any gay skinny guy they dont like and say "ew twink." Im not too familiar with this terminology and I dont want to offend people. Labels are not for me. I wear what I want and date who I want. But I have no problem with people who do like labels. Ig what I want to understand is what is a twink? Can trans men be twinks? And why is the word twink being used the way it is? I'm queer and I love being queer. I love queer people and I love queer community's. I want to learn how to respect everyone.

Yesterday I was at a party. A young trans man I had just met found out that I was also a trans man, and very boldly told me that he “could never sleep with someone assigned female at birth, because the sight of genitals reminds him of how fake they are and how much that causes [him] dysphoria.”

I know this is mostly self-hatred, but I was a little surprised that he would come up to me and tell me how much the idea of sleeping with me disgusted him, even though I hadn’t shown any attraction to him. I gently shut him down, but I’m still really upset. Dude, why are you doing this? 😭

ive been on T for almost 1 yr now, my levels are good but my estrogen is still higher than a cis mans bc my body keeps producing it. I just read that womens hips keep widening almost all throughout their lives bc of estrogen, and im insanley worried that that'll be the case for me as well. Tried to research it as best as i could but didnt rly find any information regarding if thats also the case for men who r trans, and if yes if theres a way to prevent that from happening. Thanks in advance for any answers!

I can't focus on anything. I can't orgasm and that hasn't been an issue before because when I was hormonally female I could indulge in sexual thoughts without having physical discomfort/arousal. But now I can't do that. It's genuinely interfering with my life. I've gotten really unproductive because most of the day I'm either hard or constantly thinking about sex (which I can't have/it would just make it worse if I had it because I wouldn't come) or both. I have issues sleeping because of it too and I've done some stupid things from horniness. How to deal with this if I can't orgasm? Whoever originally said cold showers is a scammer and should be sued for fraud, that does nothing.

i got my passport with the correct gender marker today (M)!!!!

some important things to note

• this is my very first passport

• i changed my name & gender together at 18yrs old in a blue state where the records are sealed

• i changed my name AND gender with social security back when we were able to change gender markers in our ss records

• i got my first state id & drivers license after legally changing everything (i only mention this because i heard from another subreddit that the department of state crosschecks the dmv sometimes)

• the birth certificate i got after changing my name & gender had an issue date, not amended. i reordered another copy of my birth certificate in case they ended up confiscating it, and all it says is the date it was processed — it doesn’t say “issued” or “amended” (i mention this because apparently they sometimes question the birth certificate when it says issued or amended)

• i did list my first deadname on the application. the way i did it was, i first listed a masculine nickname i had and still currently have, THEN listed my deadname. i listed it because i didn’t want to possibly get reprimanded for not putting it if they were to find out. i felt as though if i were to put my masculine nickname first, they may not pay too much attention to the past deadname. i was apprehensive about putting my deadname since i thought they would look into it more, but surprisingly they didn’t

• i got expedited

• i had my passport appointment on march 18th, 2026 & received it today (april 2nd)

this is a huge victory & i feel extremely lucky :)

So I have a friend and they said that top surgery counts as plastic surgery and that felt very iffy to me. I asked my therapist if this was a correct comparison and she said that unless it’s a very specific scenario, like a woman getting a boob job due to not having developed breast tissue because of hormonal disorders, it’s not the same thing. So what are y’all’s thoughts on this?

I (21M) got a total hysterectomy yesterday!! I decided to go through with it at the beginning of the year after experiencing DAILY cramping with my nexplanon implant. I didn’t want to trade it out for something that goes ‘up there’ because I’ve heard of the horror stories.

My experience was amazing. I went to a local obgyn that my mom knew and they were super supportive. I didn’t need any mental health letters for my insurance or from the obgyn, so all they needed to do was schedule the surgery.

The surgery was ≈$23k and my insurance covered about $20k. It was $3k out of pocket and I am very grateful as my parents paid it for me. They have also been super supportive in my transition.

I was really nervous before the surgery but they put something in my IV to help with the anxiety and DAMN IT HELPED.

Immediately after surgery I’d say my pain was an 8/10, but felt the same as my birth control cramps, just more swollen. They were very helpful with all my questions and I was really happy to have an all female team helping me so they would better understand the pain and whatnot.

Recently I’ve been avoiding dating due to school and moving around a lot. I’ve been on a couple dating apps but I struggled finding people there I was attracted to. Recently a friend of mine, who is a very stereotypical gay guy, inviting me to have a threesome with him and his boyfriend. I was surprised because as far as I know they both only dated cis men, but I agreed because I was bored and find them both attractive.

I had a great time and I’m realizing after the fact that I am far more attracted to very feminine gay men. The problem is I’m not sure I would ever feel comfortable approaching them. I’m on T and already had top surgery but I’m still very androgynous in appearance. I only pass about half the time and I don’t plan on getting bottom surgery due to cost and issues with wound healing in the past.

I am open to dating bi/pan people but in my experience most men who present and act very femininely have been gay, and are interested in much more masculine men or exclusively bottom. I know there are gay men out there who are open to dating trans men, but they seem rare, especially in a small conservative town. I’m not sure if it’s internalized transphobia or a fear of rejection but even on dating apps I usually skip over anyone who labels themselves as gay. I’m not sure how to go about dating or feeling more comfortable approaching someone I’m attracted to.

Hey guys , i begin T very soon , like less than a week soon and im very excited ofc , but i wanted to know if its possible to grow even a few cm at my age (recently 19) im curious if anyone had any experience growing after teenagehood on testo.

I hit 10 years on testosterone last month! Just wanted to share. Can be an AMA, if you’ve got a question.

I'm a t guy who really only crushes on full gay cis guys. Going on gay men r/'s doesn't help clear my thoughts either. Anytime a guy on there asks about being with a FTM partner, it's all hate comments calling him stupid, straight etc.

And I mean, obviously most cis gay guys are going to like men's genitals because they're gay. I used to want to get phallo, but the surgery looks *extremely* painful, and I don't know how I'd adjust to just to just having a butthole lmao... it hurts like hell just having a doctors finger up there and I don't think it'll feel good because...no prostate💔😭. And also I assume it's super expensive, alone with the recovery process. (If anyone has had it before and had the same thoughts as me I'd love to hear how It turned out for you!)

And I know that liking Male gentiles isn't all what makes you gay, but when it comes to tguys the only reason I see cis guys give is because of the lack of it.

But for anyone who has a cis male partner, how did you two come to be? Did they have to adjust, if so, was it difficult? The only reason I'd really get phallo is just so I can date because sometimes it feels like cis guys who like tguys don't exist (without a fetish for it), at least not in the internet or where I live. But to be fair, I am in the Deep South of the USA✌️

-Thank you all for the comments! I'm reading every single one!! Your relationship stories are so cute. I apologize for my usage of "female parts". Every other time I tried to post this it got flagged for using anatomical terms please forgive me I'm very sorry

I get a shot of Nebido every 85 days. Yesterday I got to bed, got ready for the nightly ritual of jokring it & conking out. But I was just completely not into it and couldn't get hard. So I check my calendar... yeah I was supposed to do my shot yesterday 👍Scheduled a doctors visit to get a prescription on Monday, weekend of Erectile Dysfunction ahead. Obviously not too bad but it's funny how I can tell right away. Can y'all tell if you missed your shot? Lol

I’m being reported for harassment at work for using the men’s locker room.

Backstory : I’ve been at this job for two years now and it’s operated by the orange peel

I’ve been out as a trans man for a little over two years now so about the same-ish time I started my job.

There is now an active investigation into me at work and due to this I am now a target for being transgender in my workplace. I am not safe. I at the same time don’t feel like I can let the person who reported me or the orange peel administration win.

Ask me what you want, advice needed, active lawsuits, help with anything you can provide me at this time. I will also be thankful for hug 🫂 emojis

I feel humiliated by the topic alone, but I woke up this morning and when I went to use the bathroom I noticed some minor spotting. This is an absolute nightmare and even though it isn’t bleeding heavy at all, I feel nauseous and scared. I made an appointment with my doctor for early next week but I don’t really know what to do for now. I’ve been trying to find information online but almost all of the posts I’ve seen are talking about this happening in the first year on t, and this year will be marking five years for me.

Does anyone have any tips? Words of advice and/or comfort? (Pls no “some men have periods” - definitely true but would not benefit my situation)

Hello everyone, basically what I wrote.

I can’t accept the fact that I’m going to change name. I hate my old name, every time that someone call me like this I get chill and it’s impossible to stand, I hate it. But at the same time I get annoyed when someone call me with my new name (even if I love that name, I always thought it’s a beautiful name and always wanted it). I feel I’m deceiving people making them calling me with my new name and also if I watch myself at the mirror and imagining my new name I just feel ridiculous. But at the same time I can’t keep living with my old name, even because I’m almost 1 year on t and I’m really starting to pass everywhere and my old name it’s a really feminine Italian name.

i feel like this post probably shares too many personal details but i tried to post this on a throaway and that wouldnt let me tag this as NSFW so whatever posting on main!! i may delete after a few hours

My cis boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, lived together for 9 months. Hes 26 and I'm 25, I've been on T for 6 months (I'm autistic and he isn't, worth mentioning i think cause I know autistic people tend to be kinkier than NTs)

Its not that when we have sex its bad, its always good, sometimes great, but lately I've been feeling a bit disasstisfied. Unfortunately it is often where he finishes and i dont, so he leaves me to jack off by myself, thats probably 50% of the time. Maybe thats bad, idk.

My actual worry is: I think he is just, very disappointingly vanilla and plain uninterested in putting himself in a more submissive position that i'd find enjoyment in. Whats compounding on this situation is his low libido (due to depression medication) and my SUPER high one since I've been on T, so I really need to have sex w him sometimes even after having orgasmed twice, and he cant do it most days.

Hes also not that keen on being dominant, it seems like almost a chore for him more than a pleasurable activity for the two of us. Hes not asexual, hes always been bi, but because of his meds his libido has nearly completely disappeared. Even before these meds he's always seemed very vanilla though and just lacking interest in what i find fun about sex... if he wants me to be more dominant its like he doesnt want any foreplay with me teasing him, just insant gratification/satisfaction from climax (before and after meds). If he wants to be dominant, which is rare, i dont feel wanted in the way i want to feel wanted (also before and after meds). I want him to be intense, almost like predator to my prey, with some roleplay elements from kinks im ashamed to admit im into to him (i have said i like clinical sort of RP with him inspecting me but thats it, theres way more that i'm into though). Like i said even before his meds hes never been that experimental or willing for "unconventional" sex but with the meds its made his libido so low that its made my feelings on it worse

Whats funny is that when we first met, he was INSANELY sexually attracted to me and at the time i was still figuring out my sexuality, i thought i was ace! But after being with him for a year i realised i was bisexual (large leaning for men) and repressing a lot of stuff. Now the tables are turned and im super horny all the time thanks to HRT and he only masturbates like twice a week

Currently I also feel pretty bad about getting off to videos of guys getting off, wishing it was me they were cumming in. I dont really want to desire someone else's penis but... they make a lot of noise and i find that extremely hot!! Whereas my bf doesnt moan or whimper at all like they do. Sure maybe its because some of them use toys and so they get really loud and stimulated, but when i bring up using toys with my bf, he says hes tried them and doesnt like it!!! Ugh!!! I go in circles wondering how do i get him to be more open or more interested in sensual desire/pleasure. We still have good sex but i want a bit more out of it where i feel satisfied, is that unrealistic? Do i have to be a big dom daddy for him to whimper just a bit (lol)?? Im quite small so sometimes i feel like i cant make him a feel the way i want him to because im not... dominating at all in my stature

Over all I get disappointed that hes probably not interested in having similar sex to me, its bums me out the most. I think Ive asked him about kinks before, but he has said NOTHING about any kinks he could have. The MOST is that he is said that he finds men in playboy bunny outfits hot and that when I get top surgery, he'd like for me to wear smth like that (which i am very happy to do!!!!) I want to ask him if he is into something else though bc i want to explore anything that will get him excited atp

So I will bring this up with him!!! I am just looking for other opinions or advice while I wait for the right time to talk to him about it.

so I have recently requested that my mother call me he/ him, and she‘s kind of trying. she doesn’t seem to think about it, and still calls me she or her. it isn’t that big a deal, since it’s still in early stages. what really made me upset today was that around an hour ago, we went to a restaurant and the waitress called me ”him.” I sort of smiled but I was genuinely happy. but she literally sapped the happiness from me when she laughed and said; “oh she called you him!” I very visibly frowned, and she sort of looked embarrassed or like, awkward, but didn’t apologize or really do anything to make it clear she didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. she’s said before that my stepbrother is “the son she never had” when I’m right in front of her. I even told her that I was right there, but she just said; “oh don’t feel bad” and I just left.

she also said today that she thinks being trans is a mental illness, but whatever. she isn’t hateful, I think she just…doesn’t really know about it and doesn’t care to do her research.

anyways, I just don’t think she understands how much she hurts my feelings. so, I kinda need advice?

I very rarely forget to take my T (daily gel) but somehow forgot to last night, and I have my blood test this afternoon. The blood test results are going to be sent to my endocrinologist to potentially increase my dose. Is the fact that I didn’t take it last night going to interfere with my results a significant amount?

I’m over 5 years on t and it’s been happening steadily but it’s slow since I’m on medication to help it. Point being, you can see my scalp on my back. My forehead fat anyways but it’s worse and lopsided, and unless styled you c an easily see the scalp. It’s causing me a lot of anguish.

Only 24 with this makes me feel horrible.

I am considering coming out to my lesbian wife and already sort of have in passing, but I'm not sure she is taking me seriously. She is proud of being a lesbian so of course, I have to take in consideration her feelings and what coming out might mean for her and I. I just am scared to lose her and I think she would be accepting but it's still a scary concept. I was just wondering if anyone had a similar situation and what their experience has been and how did you tell them?