My mom wants me to go through a humiliation ritual… should I?
She’s not necessarily transphobic, but she genuinely wants me to go through a humiliation ritual. She thinks that I haven’t been “living and acting as man” at all when 1. I’m out to all of my friends 2. Dress and look masculine all the time 💀
She wants me to completely socially transition and while that is nice, I would rather do that in tandem with hrt and she does nawwwt fw that. I’m 18 and I might be able to wait a couple years, even tho I’d miserable, but she does not understand that it’s extremely humiliating (to me) to be out and call myself a man when I don’t look the part… she thinks that ppl will treat me like a man bcuz I call myself one!! Girl I wish!! ik that I won’t totally pass with hrt immediately, but I’d just be crazy dysphoric if I come out completely but still look like a girl (and treated like one) yk?? She just doesn’t think I’ll be treated like a girl even tho.. I look like one even with masc clothes and presentation💀💀
I’m scared to transition bcuz of what my parents will think (they’ll be disappointed) but damn I rlly want to🥲 I fantasize abt driving to planned parenthood all the time.. maybe one day🥀