I have no idea if it’s my frontal lobe developing but i realized i was chasing something wrong and i was trying to make my family happy all the time so now i’ll do what i want but it feels late like im too old lol
I’m 27, turning 28 in may and have no path in life. I currently work at costco and while it’s a good job with great benefits I hate it. I’ve been there for over 5 years and I’ve gotten to the point where genuinely don’t want to live anymore if that all life has to offer. Im not saying I want to kill myself but more like I don’t want to exist. I would see my life as a joke if that’s all I amount to in life.
2 years ago I destroyed my knee snowboarding requiring 3 surgeries. I lost all my saving because I couldn’t work for 8 months forcing me to move back in with my mom. A month ago at work the same knee gave out causing my knee cap to move all the way up my femur requiring a 4th surgery. I will be having a cadaver graft and the doctor mentioned having to cut my quad to be able to move my knee cap down. All in all I’m looking at a brutal recovery. The joke is that I actually enlisted the army the day before the accident in hopes to find a path in life but that’s out the window now.
So to break it down. Im pushing 30, have a busted knee, less than 5k to my name. I dropped out of college (the college I went to was. diploma mill) and don’t really have a discernible skills or trades. I have put the last 2 years trying to regain my body after all the surgeries just to be back to square 1. I feel like a failure and have lost hope that my life will change for the better but here I am hoping that maybe someone has some advice that isn’t seek god.
I guess the question is what would you do if you were in my shoes? What would your entire life you depended on your body to make money just for it to finally gave out?
Hey, it's me again, alone, depressed, friendless, loveless, miserable. I don't know where to start. At 31 years old, I feel more lost than ever. I used to have so many goals, so many dreams, so many big plans. I was really smart in high school, even in my first year of college. Valedictorian, aced the college admission exams, all my teachers were telling me how bright my future would be, my parents proud of me. Then everything went to shit. I don't know. I don't know why. It just happened. Depression took over my life. Sexual frustration, loneliness, all the bad things. I dropped out of college twice. I disappointed my parents. Now, at 31, they are old, starting to have health problems, while I'm unemployed, broke, and lonelier than ever. I don't know where to restart. Life just sucks, and sometimes I wish I wouldn't wake up one day.
I lost a good friend too. Our friendship was brief. I lost her. She drifted away from my life because I didn't know how to maintain a friendship. She was my only friend in these past two years. She was the light in my darkness. But I had to ruin it, only because I couldn't control my jealousy.
Now I am wondering what to do. I have insanely big dreams, maybe illusions of grandeur. I just bought a guitar, finally, even if I have to eat only bread and water for the next two weeks. I thought I could become a musician someday. I don't know, maybe the next Alex Turner or the next Chris Martin. But I can't even focus on learning. My mind is always wandering, remembering how good it was 10-20 years ago, and how bad post-pandemic life feels. My thoughts are still on this girl, how much I miss her.
My other fantasy dreams are to become a writer, a novelist, or a screenwriter, but aren't they even more difficult than becoming a musician? But wouldn't it be cool to become the next Stephen King or the next Charlie Kaufman?
You guys may ask about my college degree. Well, it turns out it's not worth it. A worthless STEM degree from a public Ivy that is not getting me a job at all. I wanted to become a scientist at some point -the next Francis Crick, the next Frederick Sanger- but here I am, unemployed and rejected from the few job interviews that I can get after more than 500 applications. My high IQ of 138 is for nothing, I guess.
In summary, I would give half of the rest of my life just to go back to 2005 and start everything over. Or better, not that, but something more realistic: just to have this girl back in my life, even if just as friends. If there is a God, I promise this time I'll be the most perfect man ever if either of those wishes come true.
So, dear fellow redditors, should I stick to my big dreams of becoming an artist? If so, how with all this depression that, anytime it seems to go away, comes back stronger than before?
So I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in biology this past December. I stupidly didn’t do ANY internships, jobs, projects, nothing. I got a good gpa but that’s all I have to show for it (which doesn’t matter at all to employers). If I could go back in time I would but what’s done is done. So, I decided I’d follow my passion, fitness. I got my personal training cert and started applying to some jobs in that field. Even the ymca didn’t get back to me. I’m just feeling so lost and like I’ve failed myself. And I can see I’m making it worse by continuing to be unemployed. I just keep thinking that I’ll find something but maybe I just have to suck it up and take a dead end job.
Hi, I'm 27, F, was in and out of the school counselor's office all throughout elementary school and walked away without any diagnosis but since I was a girl in the 2000s that may not mean anything. (I think I had autism & adhd assessments at the time?) My parents had me go to some weird therapy thing where I learned to juggle and write with both hands as a child. Looked the place up and apparently most of their clients are children with autism and adhd. Getting a diagnosis isn't feasible for me right now-at the moment, I'm looking for coping strategies.
I struggle with working memory, a sense of direction, hand-eye coordination, and fine motor skills. I am trying to improve these things with hobbies (crochet, embroidery, learning the ukulele), but it's hard to keep up with them and I kind of suck at all of them. To make things worse, my current job requires a certain level of manual dexterity that I don't really have.
I'm trying to find a new job and pivot away from my career field into something where I DON'T have to work with my hands or measure dangerous chemicals, but I'm tired of bumping into things and dropping stuff. I have bruises that I don't even know where they came from. I have google maps to help me deal with my bad sense of direction, and I carry a compass with me sometimes because it's easier to think of things in terms of cardinal directions when I don't actually know where I am.
What should I try to cope? On my worst days I feel like I'm still that kid who lied to counselors and well-meaning teachers to avoid being associated with the stigma of special ed. Thanks.
curious to hear responses👍
Here is a more concise version that preserves the key details:
How should I move forward?
I am 30 and feel too old to start over. I am full of regrets and do not know how to deal with them.
My biggest regret is not studying mathematics, which I truly loved. Even though I worked hard and reached a PhD at a top university, that feeling never left me. I believe I had the talent for it, but now I feel like I am not even that smart anymore.
I also feel I ruined many opportunities because of fear and stress. At the same time, I am a transgender woman still in the closet and not being able to live as myself creates a deep sense of emptiness.
I have never had a real relationship. I am in a long-distance relationship for six years without intimacy. It is not enough, and there is no future, but I cannot end it because I do not want to hurt him.
I had a valuable chance with this PhD scholarship, but due to stress and problems in my home country, I feel I performed far below my potential. Now it feels too late, and I am not even sure I will be okay.
Given all this, I know I need to move past these regrets, but I do not know how, or how to fill this emptiness.
Is there any real solution? Is there any path to try?
Originally, I was a music major (music is my passion) going into my sophomore year, I thought it wasn’t going to be worth it. So I decided to switch to something “practical”. Back then I sort of knew the economy was trash (it’s even more trash now), so I knew I had to make a serious decision in investing the next 3 years in learning a useful skill to get a stable job. BUT my deal was I had to make the switch in something I really liked, I liked math, computer science/programming was like problem solving and math related so I chose CS. Took my first class in programming and I was interested in the subject. In the beginning of my CS journey, I was all over the “tech code world”, I loved it. But by the time I was a junior, that fire-y love for CS was dying down (I would explain why that is but it’s too much information, It’d be a novel).
That’s when I began to start being real with myself (I was a chronic overthinker, isolated myself a lot). Thoughts of “will I even keep up with this CS lifestyle?” , “am I capable of working hard for something I’m not even passionate about?”. Mind you I DID NOT pick CS for the money! (originally I vehemently didn’t want to go to college.The college that I went to didn’t even have the specific thing I wanted to do in music which was music composition, but you know traditional parents. I was going to go either way.) If I was going to switch majors I had to pick something I was going to genuinely enjoy, but unfortunately, it didn’t turn into another passion I hoped it would, just like the passion I had for music. I realized programming was just going to be another miscellaneous hobby in my life, not something I would, or want to, grind, poor blood sweat and tears for to get a job. To get a job and work full-time as a software developer, do it for who knows how long and barely have time to do the thing I really freaking want to do???? Now at 27 I finally admit that I’m not really loving that idea…..
Also, no my parents were not against me majoring in music. If anything they wanted me to go for something I really wanted to do, which I am blessed to have that support from my parents. But when I switched to CS, they were super on board, because “there will be a lot of tech jobs hiring”...HA! Obviously, fast forward to 2026, we have vibecoding, which made me think 6 years years of learning programming down the drain…..but I know I can still use AI as a tool to help me blah blah blah. You gotta keep up with the new tech, learn new skills, pivot rah rah. All I know since I have a freaking CS degree (btw I BARELY finished college. Thats why it took me 6 years to graduated for my Bachelors, it was hard!), I need to get a job, economy is poop, hire me dang it!
I’m regretting hard on this….If I were to hop on a Delorean and go back to my sophomore year college self, I would tell me NOT to switch my major! I swear I would!
So now I am following my dreams for a realistic music career while also (somewhat) chasing a software dev job. I prefer working part-time as a software dev. But regardless I ain’t quitting music. I’ve put my passion on hold for almost 7 years now and if I continue to put it on hold for the sake of chasing something I low key I won’t succeed in, I’ll go psycho. So now I’ve decided to stop coping and accept I wasted 7 years of my life for CS and I am now going hard on my music….
I mean I guess I’ll still use some of what I learned in CS, but instead of practicing leetcode and being sucked into a black hole of tutorials on youtube just to prepare myself in “getting” a company job somewhere, I'm going to work on projects I want to work on. I don’t know, I’ll make a game or something……bye
TLDR; Switched my major from music to computer science. Spent 6 years studying programming. Now I regret it and want to follow a music career.
I was working as a cashier for 3 years in my hometown. I saved enough to go back to school and pay rent for a year. That was always my plan and I did it! I got the qualification and I have been looking for a new job for 8 month. I haven’t been offered a single interview…I’m lucky if I get a response. I think I have to move back home as I won’t be able to meet next month’s rent :( I feel like a complete failure and I can see my parent’s laughing at me. I don’t want to live with them again. I can’t do it. But I might not have a choice if I can’t get a job (ANY JOB!!) before May 1st
Apart from money and love, what motivates you in life?
I have a job, a family, some saving, some investment but in all honesty I don't feel motivated. I lack a goal or vision in life.
Apart from money and love, what is your goal or vision?
Employment history
Project manager with over a decade of experience. Last full time role was a remote PM gig for a US firm. Got fired when I burned out after 2 years of 16+ hour days.
Also owned a gym for 12 years. Closed it down as client acquisition has dwindled over recent years despite my efforts. I couldn't cope any more and I was being pulled in too many directions between the freelancing and the gym.
Skills
Current situation
Things I've tried
Ask
What would you do?
I am paralysed and demoralised.
I've got all these skills at a high level, and I can't seem to get my foot in the door. I just need to close one fucking job paying 5000 USD per month to keep my family afloat. I want to work.
I'm broke and out of time. I don't know where to focus my attention.
Any advice on what to do next would be warmly received.
22F. I feel really tired of everything lately. I came across something online that said a lot of people are living lives that weren’t really their choice, and it hit way too close to home. I’m doing engineering because my parents wanted me to. Now I’m at the stage where I’m supposed to figure out jobs, courses, and what to do next, but the truth is—I have no idea. Every decision I make, I feel like I need to ask them what I should do, because I genuinely don’t know what I want for myself. People say “do what you love,” but what if you don’t even know what that is? I don’t have anything I’m truly good at. Lately, my routine is just… nothing. I wake up, help a bit at home, sleep again, scroll on my phone, and repeat. I don’t feel like doing anything, but at the same time I keep expecting myself to somehow get a job or figure life out. It makes no sense. What makes it worse is seeing people around me actually achieving things they wanted. Some of my friends already have jobs, they seem driven, they know where they’re going. And I’m just here feeling stuck, unmotivated, and honestly kind of useless. I don’t understand how I ended up like this. I don’t know where this level of procrastination came from. I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what I’m good at, and I don’t know how to fix it.
Has anyone else felt like this? What did you even do to get out of it?
I don't want to get a degree just to be owned by a company and sit at a desk all day. Trades seems legit but it's like starting over, which I already did by pursuing a degree. 5 years on an apprenticeship just to get started seems fucked, especially considering FIRE goals. Started at community college, almost finished, was going to transfer but I'd have to relocate and I developed health problems from the stress of this rinky dink useless degree already... could get a Master's degree in 3.5 years but then what? I'm in the psych field. I hate math and the transfer credits are mostly gen ed / psych focused. Not sure how to proceed. I want to actually have a life, be able to travel, be able to purchase land and become more financially free without rent / + low tax assessed value acreage with a cabin on it, maybe rentals later, thats a whole long trip down the line. Basically only emergency fund saved.
Thoughts? I'd explain why I'm 30 with no credentials or job but yeah the mass surveillance.
I'm 22, graduated last year with an economics degree with average/low grades and I have no idea what to do with myself. I have no real work experience other than working part time in my familys business doing miscellaneous warehouse stuff where I rarely work and get a enough money to stay afloat while living at home. I have continuously kicked the can down the road when it comes to finding actual work. When I ask myself what I want to do with my life as a career I have no answer. The things I'm interested in that bring me joy do not align with any career, I like drawing and making comics, reading boring books about politics and writing/filming videos and skits. I have ADHD and really struggle to learn about and lock myself into topics I find boring - I struggled a lot and barely passed most of my econ units, the only class I ever excelled in was an elective social policy one. For a while my tentative plan I've been working towards has been to teach english in China (I studied some Mandarin in uni and want to immerse myself) and find a university job with ~16-20 hour weeks, but I keep thinking of reasons not to, such as that when I return after a year or two I'll be back to square one career wise unless I try and keep doing it forever. Committing to doing one thing every day stresses me out too.
I had my first real job interview recently (didn't go great, not that I was expecting to get the first job I went for or anything) but it was a reality check that I need to enter the real world and do something. I was miserably depressed through pretty much all of school and uni and the only time I've been kind of happy was the last few months after graduating, but that can't last. The reality that I have to enter full time work is scaring the fuck out of me and I don't know how I'm ever going to be happy spending my whole day doing something I hate 5 days every week and losing out on time to work on my passions. I struggle to pick a career because saying to myself something like I want to pursue accounting, banking, finance or whatever - it just sounds like a lie, because it is. I don't know how to play the corporate song and dance of telling people why I really want to get into X role even though I actually don't, and I don't know how to motivate myself to learn to do something complex i'm not naturally interested in. I know this is a rather entitled rant, but the last few days have had me crashing down to reality and left me pretty anxious and hopeless. How do I actually deal with finding a future?
Hello, I am 26M, American, a recent graduate of accounting; however, I hate it. I am interested in working outside, like in park maintenance or on a cargo ship or something along those lines. I have been applying even though they require a lot of certs plus experience. What is the best way to get into jobs that are in this field or similar? What jobs would you recommend? I love being outdoors, and not a people person, and I love to travel, and I am very minimalistic.
Work as a welder at a union factory and saved a lot currently got an associates in general studies and I’m going to school still since work pays for it 2/3 reimbursement I think up to 6000$. I’m just looking for a less stressful job but know the job market is really not good. My monthly expenses are less than 1000$ me and wife are frugal.
Hi, Im 55 (M) in the UK, I am very lucky to have a house, wife, dog, work as a contractor (so intense periods of work followed by a few months off) but I wake everyday feeling totally lost in meaning and without any desire. For most of my working life I worked to achieve something; bringing up 2 daughters, chasing the usual material desires) - I had hobbies, football, fishing, golf, even a bout of stamp collecting, all things that at least filled the free time.
Now I have no desire or drive for any of that and the days I'm not at work just melt into emptiness. I see other relatives who still have passions but I can't get anything to trigger a spark. I am not depressed, I am overweight but not health threatening, but I fear I am now just existing.
Any suggestions, please don't just list things I could do like join a gym etc, I need to find a purpose again before any path will be appealing.
TL;DR: I've been pursuing a career as a software developer, and despite not liking the work, I know that being a developer would give me a way better life than the vast majority of people in the world. Would it still be okay to try to pursue something else?
28M in Ontario, Canada here.
Last year in December I completed a 3-year college program in Computer Programming & Analysis, and as part of it I did three co-op placements (one in IT support, and the next two in software development). There aren't a lot of jobs available in that field right now, and I'm currently working part-time at a movie theatre.
There are things I dislike about being/pursuing being a software developer, but at the end of the day, I know these are first-world problems, and that getting to spend my days in a climate-controlled office is a way easier life than most people have.
I've always dreaded working a desk job. In every co-op placement I had, and in every desk job I had before that, I was essentially spending the whole day counting down the minutes until I could go home, and every night, counting down the hours until I had to attempt to fall asleep for the next day. I've always been a very fidgety person, and the thought of being a full-time software developer has filled me with dread since before I even started my college program.
When I worked as a cleaner in a community centre, I genuinely felt that I could do something like that as a job every day and be happy. I get to work with my hands, I get to see the results of my work, and it doesn't involve abstract and algorithmic thinking, which I've always felt I wasn't very good at. If I could choose between being a software developer or a janitor, but make the same money in either job, I'd pick being a janitor 100% of the time.
I'm currently studying and practicing piano tuning with my family's piano. I've always been passionate about musical instruments and I love the work. I know that it sounds like a stupid career idea, but looking into the field and talking to professional tuners and technicians, I genuinely think it's more likely that I can start making a living tuning pianos than I can writing code.
Having a job where I can drive to a few different locations in a day and perform a hands-on skill appeals to me so much more than any corporate office job. I just feel so much guilt for being privileged enough to pursue a career that I want.
So would it be a good idea for me to think about pursuing something that isn't a desk job when I'd be incredibly lucky to be a developer? The job market for developers is terrible right now, so I figure I have nothing to lose by continuing to practice and learn. I just feel guilty for not liking a job that's better than most, especially when most don't have the privilege of pursuing a career they want.
Hello! Im currently in second year of a four year bachelors program to get a biology degree specialized in physiology. I currently hate my classes and dont find it that interesting, and can't think of anything I'd want to switch into (i want to avoid restarting uni if possible, as ive spent so much of my savings already) and i have no idea what to do for a career.
If it helps, ive always had an interest in the arts but I enjoy biology as well (not cells, which is most of my program), i just figured science pays more. Ive tried to do medical illustration and hated it, and I'm not smart enough to be a doctor.
TLDR: I hate my current program and have no dream career.
I'd love to hear anyones thoughts or advice. Thank you.
I'm currently a final year history undergrad student, and my current plan is to do a conversion course to train to become a therapist. But I'm worried I won't find the actual work of being a therapist intellectually stimulating enough for it to be the right decision.
For background, as long as I've been old enough to know what it is I always wanted to go into academia, I am in love with the humanities and anything related to people and want to spend my life exploring that. I want my life to be centered around learning new things and pushing myself continually.
But since getting older (I'm 23 now) and learning more about the world I've become increasingly jaded. I know how terrible it is to get into and work in academia, in terms of job shortages and the precarity of humanities as a whole, let alone how undervalued the humanities are. I also see it as just as, if not more important, for me to have a career where im able to make a positive social impact, and I don't see getting many opportunities to actually do that in research, especially if it's not directly a policy research role.
So basically, since realizing academia isn't really feasible, I've been exploring other options, and landed on therapy as an option, but I only really feel half committed to it. I would be able to make a big impact in *individuals* lives, and use my curiosity towards actually helping people, but I have this yearning to do something bigger and I'm not exactly sure what. And I'm not sure how much of that is my ego talking, wanting to be someone who is seen as working in a prestigious field, vs my actual desires.
Tl;dr: i have two seemingly contradicting goals with my career - wanting what I would get in academia (research and learning continually) and wanting to maximize my social impact. I've seemingly settled on a career in therapy but im not sure if it's right for me, and would appreciate any advice or suggestions