Maybe CS isn't for me?
That question had been on my mind ever since the results of the second semester began to come, for some context, i am 18F, first year in CS engineering, and i failed my first semester tried even more harder during the second, at first i felt hopeful but my grades speak otherwise. You see i never intended to do CS in the first place. My entire childhood i wanted to be a doctor sure i loved computers, and said during a few years of my highschool that i wanted to go to the national AI top college in our country but for that you have to get like 19/20 on BAC (it's like the SAT's but in our country) i was scientific stream which was way harder to achieve, at the end i got 15 almost 16, and since i got good grades in math and physics, i was given more technical majors, and when i applied i was accepted in aeronautics, my mom went ballistic, and said that i did it on purpose, she wanted me to go into biology, but i switched out behind her back, so when i couldn't go there anymore, she demanded i go into CS, i had no choice but to switch, also she demanded i repeat the BAC, while studied my first year, i stood my ground, and said no(i kinda regret it i should have repeated it, but there was no guarantee i would get a better grade) so i started CS, we got a weird educational system here, at first CS was good then it quickly switched to hard, and i found myself struggling with Algebra and calculus, after failing my first semester everyone kept trying to encourage me to try harder that it was okay, second semester i really did try harder, i gave it all, but it became harder to keep up, and everything was cramped from tests to exams, and when i was done with it i truly felt i did good, but my grades were all failing grades, i mean there is another chance something called (ratrrapage) basically another chance to retake the exams, and try to pass, but the exams where already hard, i doubt they would make these easier, so i am kinda feeling down and gave up, which got me to think maybe cs isn't for me, amd i should just expect that fact, even tho I don't want to fail, and i feel ashamed that i am going too
(I am in a dark time now, mom is telling me to pray to god, no one seems to get it, i feel like i am drowning everyday, especially after i got my heartbroken on top, whenever i try to explain what i am feel i am brushed off as immature, or that i am too young to think that much, or that i am overdoing it, but honestly i just feel like i am fading everyday, and i am sick and tired of people telling me that i got potential because honestly I can't see it anymore)