r/exmormon

I've noticed decade long shifts in the way TBMs are trained to combat "anti-mormon" literature, especially online.

They don't refute. They don't counter. They don't cry afoul.

They nod but soften the blow.

Their counterpoints agree with the poster but replace the sword with a pillow.

"Oh, Joseph Smith married children, but of course he didn't do anything to them. They were his 'daughters' he just called them wives to be silly"

"Of course the Church has billions stockpiled, how else will they take care of everyone?"

"Let your queer, trans and children come home. We love them. We just don't condone what they do."

It's a strange form of gaslighting. Covert abuse and narcissism.

The perpetrator-rescuer cycle.

"Reproving betimes with sharpness, and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love."

They are readopting the tactics of Joseph Smith himself.

Driving away from a family party today my wife told me that my brother and his wife have left the church. She and I both left over 3 years ago and figured I'd always be the only one out on my side. It turns out they haven't attended in over a year and a half. I suddenly have tons of things I want to ask him and also talk about, but I'm also afraid to bring it up and potentially damage our relationship in some way. I did a massive deep dive into everything when I left but I know not everyone has the same approach. Also, it's hard to really believe they've left too when I expected to always be the lone exmo, but her conversation with his wife left no doubt at all. I haven't spoken to him about it at all yet. Any advice from someone with a similar experience?

Has anyone else noticed a correlation either with Mormon households and hoarding?

I know I have struggled with it, especially with hoarding food items, and many of family members struggle with it more significantly than I do.

I’m wondering if there is a correlation between Mormon doctrine and it creating a hoarding mentality.

I always feel like a lot of the home I went into were either pristine or filthy, there wasn’t really any in between.

In my ward in California in the 90's, a member reached into his pocket, grabbed out a cigar, lit it, and started smoking it, saying the church is b******* . Members escorted him out, but he started yelling and cussing, saying, 'Get your f****** hands off of me.' It was a big commotion among members. That's when the bishop told everybody to just go home, that church was over, and to be with their loved ones. 😆 good times

When I was 19 or so, my parents were going through a divorce. It was messy and both of my parents started acting very strange and very different from what I had always known.

I went to visit my mom one weekend I was back from university, and what I had found scared me. She was irrationally angry, acting very erratic, and smelled terrible. She became verbally abusive toward me and it was just pretty clear she was not OK. Looking back, it was definitely some kind of psychotic episode. My parents were both heavily influenced by the satanic panic and I was raised with those types of paranoias. At the time, I had never encountered anything like this and it felt very dark and scary. I drew the conclusion that she was likely possessed and I was out of my depth. My mom also did not want me around and so I left. I called her bishop hoping that he would use his priesthood to help cast out any unclean spirits that were in that house or in her. He agreed to help.

I was shaken up and turned to my grandparents (dad’s side) for help. I told my grandpa who was an emeritus 70 about what had happened at my mom’s. He told me he would give me a blessing. During the blessing he cast demons out of me. I remember the experience vividly. I was shocked when he said those words and my body instantly felt cold. I felt like my insides were shattered - it’s the only way I can describe it. Instead of comfort, I ended up with a complex. It was the last thing I expected to hear, and even now, I cannot fathom why my grandpa thought I was possessed. Be that as it may, I believed that he knew something that I didn’t.

I spent so many years after that constantly worried that I was possessed and didn’t know it. It crossed my mind every Sunday for decades after my experience that I might secretly be possessed and unworthy to take the sacrament. Every time I went to the temple I worried I was somehow unclean and unworthy to be there. I worried that I was damning my soul without realizing it.

I’m OK now, but man, that experience and the fallout from it was really hard.

I have only been to a temple twice in my life. I found getting baptized for the dead weird and creepy.

this could just be me and my wild ass imagination, but both times I went, I felt a very sad and depressing vibe.

it also seemed like someone or something was watching me.

there is no way in hell anyone could ever convince me to rejoin Mormonism or ever step foot inside a temple again.

Baptisms for dead people is a crock of shit to me.

perhaps other people found better experiences than me like getting married or whatever else goes on in there but 2 times was enough for me

(PIMO=physically in, mentally out.)If the church was true, you would actually get inspiration when you pray. Asking for it is showing that you want it. And using the ‘depression makes it harder’ excuse is dumb. If God can move mountains, control the weather and create the universe, then why would depression be a barrier? God created all things, they also made depression. If God wants as many of their children to come back as possible, why make so many barriers?

Why force people to go to church if it’s so great? People should want to go. If they don’t, work to make it a place they want to be. Not force them to go.

My little sister is stuck as a PIMO. My parents are very controlling and make her go to soooo many church things. It pisses me off.

After hearing a snippet of what is in the William Clayton journals in regards to polygamy, I must say I’m surprised the church is releasing them sometime later this year. The past few conferences they’ve repeatedly hit on “in the coming days it will be necessary to have a strong testimony…”. I have to wonder if this is why. They know what’s in there - they know how bad it looks - they know that their narrative of “Joseph was a reluctant polygamist” is BS. So how will they spin the unspinnable? How will they be able to paint Joseph telling Clayton to get as many women as he could and Clayton having a threesome with his wife and her sister as “God-ordained”?

Hi, I’m 15F and I live in an extremely Mormon household, my entire family and almost all of my intermediate family are devote members. We attend church every Sunday, youth activities and seminary. I don’t think I have ever had a testimony or truly believed in god. I was around 13 when I started to question the things I was being taught, I read about Joseph Smith and his history of polygamy. I learnt about the racist teachings and beliefs that the church hides from its members. I learnt how the church hoards billions of dollars as its struggling members donate 10% every month thinking it will win them gods love. And in general about if I really believed there was a god at all. In the past year or so, I discovered that I was atheist. It’s really hard for me to attend church and seminary knowing that I don’t believe in any of this and I have to sit there and pretend that I do. I have a few family members that have cut the church from their life completely and I plan to do the same and remove my name from the records completely when I am able. I understand that I will eventually have to tell my parents and family, but I am scared they will treat me differently or ostracise me. It feels so much easier to pretend to be someone I’m not, but I’m sure how much longer I can do. I’ve tried to subtlety tell my parents before and they looked at each other with literal dread. Does anyone have a similar experience or could help spread some advice as I would really really appreciate it.

Im 100% out and I will never pretend to believe unless there’s a gun to my head. My wife wants to be present for our son’s temple marriage. She is, I would say, 80% out of the church but still has moments of belief.

She wants to renew her temple recommend and has been paying a few hundred dollars to the church. Does anyone have any advice on how to manage the temple recommend interview to ensure she gets her recommend? Do they actually look at tithing payment histories?

I was a TBM and faithful and never thought about this stuff before. Now, I don’t know if they check for tithing or just take your word for it.

....unless it was for your own good!!!

https://preview.redd.it/3tvs9solcnug1.png?width=305&format=png&auto=webp&s=80293d48ba5a55bb1b75ed090afc4a90c44fbee0

Had a TBM family friend argue the reason Artemis, and Apollo before it, failed to find Quakers on the moon, was not because they aren't there, but because the missions were both fake.

The proof, Joseph Fielding Smith's statement at the May 1961 Honolulu Stake Conference - The month after Yuri Gagarin's first journey.

"We will never get a man into space. This earth is man's sphere and it was never intended that he should get away from it. The moon is a superior planet to the earth and it was never intended that man should go there. You can write it down in your books that this will never happen."

Hey there everyone! I wanted to stop by and say hi!

So I married my wife whose family is mormon 6 years ago. She was coming out of mormonism when she met me and I guess I kinda was a crutch for her. Because she was going to a mormon college and was surrounded by everything mormonism.

Anyway, she was the black sheep of the family, very strong minded and questioned everything. That's why she left. I supported her in it, and we moved on with our life etc...

Now I grew up in a southern Baptist church and went with my grandma every Sunday till I was about 16. The reason I didn't keep going is because I didn't feel it was right for me.

But mormonism gets under my skin even more for some reason.

Firstly she has 3 siblings, all of them are still mormon with spouses... my wife hasn't been able to attend any of their "sealings" at all because she hasn't gotten the special underwear or the temple recommend.

When I bring this up with her parents they blow it off and act like the sealing isn't a big deal... and that its more about the reception. And I don't believe that for one second tbh...

Then the Temples. They're just weird to me... like, I was always taught that Jesus took away the need for temples. Because he split the veil between us and God and that we can just talk to God any old time etc...

I am told by her parents that they have had sacred experiences in the temple and their lives that prove the church is real etc... but they won't talk about them with me because they're between them and God. That makes no sense to me because I've been told you need to shout that crap out to bring people to Christianity that way!

I personally had a Near Death Experience a few years back, that proved to me God is real and that he doesn't really need anything from us except to accept him. So I share that with everyone! its even on my reddit page!

Also from what my wife has told me and from what I understand, the BOM and whatever else they read really goes against everything I was taught.... now I will say, I don't believe the Bible is completely correct in some parts either. Mostly because it's missing information and has been cherry picked, and after so many translations, is probably unreliable.

That being said, saying Jesus is Lucifer's brother is wild! And that the holy spirit, Jesus, and God are all separate is wild as well. Jesus even says that he is God in the flesh...

Then, there's the complaints about media, especially movies and shows. They are always complaining about how there's nothing for them to watch because it's all rated R or tv-MA and how there's so much cussing and they just can't stand it. Imo, just get over it. They're words. And if you don't want to watch it because of the rating, that's on you. Not something everyone else should cater to them for.

Also, my brother in law (wife's sister's husband) is an asshole. Like, we all went over to my in laws to take family pictures around new years and my wife and I brought our dog. As soon as we walked in the house, BIL walked out and refused to take pictures with a dog. He proceeded to leave and we had to take pictures without him and their son. This leads me to say, I said that his reaction was bullshit (yes, I used that word in their presence) and got in more trouble for cussing than he did for throwing a fit over a dog. Doesn't make sense.

Whats also funny to me is that her siblings got married literally the same year they met.. and are having problems. like the one I spoke about above is mentally abusive. And her other sisters husband and her sister have problems because they don't know how to communicate with each other. leaving her sister to talk to her mom all day every day..

Whenever I talk about religion with them, they have that holier than thou sentiment. Her dad even compared my knowledge in my work field to their knowledge of religion which doesn't make any sense...

Like they're talking down on us... It's so bizarre to me... I also feel like my wife and I are kinda shunned from her family a bit because she isn't mormon anymore...

I guess I'm trying to get answers as to why they act the way they do, and if their church is so true then why don't they show that it is actually true and share their holy experiences?

Edit: They aren't bad people imo, they're very nice and love their kids etc. But their religion is what I have a problem with. And how its shaped them.

I'll start.

"Young women, please understand that if you think independently, you are magnifying this problem by becoming antimormon literature to the men who see you."

-President Dallas Itch Birch

Based on Oak's OG quote:

>Young women, please understand that if you dress immodestly, you are magnifying this problem by becoming pornography to some of the men who see you.