u/Ancientabs

What are some fun pseudomormon quotes spinning off of existing quotes?

I'll start.

"Young women, please understand that if you think independently, you are magnifying this problem by becoming antimormon literature to the men who see you."

-President Dallas Itch Birch

Based on Oak's OG quote:

>Young women, please understand that if you dress immodestly, you are magnifying this problem by becoming pornography to some of the men who see you.

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u/Ancientabs — 9 hours ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 247 r/exmormon

How I would've loved to do this man's temple work by proxy. LMFAO

u/Ancientabs — 18 hours ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 238 r/exmormon

The fabric softeners of online posting. The new tactic among TBMs and how to spot it.

I've noticed decade long shifts in the way TBMs are trained to combat "anti-mormon" literature, especially online.

They don't refute. They don't counter. They don't cry afoul.

They nod but soften the blow.

Their counterpoints agree with the poster but replace the sword with a pillow.

"Oh, Joseph Smith married children, but of course he didn't do anything to them. They were his 'daughters' he just called them wives to be silly"

"Of course the Church has billions stockpiled, how else will they take care of everyone?"

"Let your queer, trans and children come home. We love them. We just don't condone what they do."

It's a strange form of gaslighting. Covert abuse and narcissism.

The perpetrator-rescuer cycle.

"Reproving betimes with sharpness, and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love."

They are readopting the tactics of Joseph Smith himself.

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u/Ancientabs — 21 hours ago

Mary Beal Johnson - The missing link to prove Joseph Smith had sex with children

At 14 she moved in with the prophet Joseph as a live in maid. Six months later, she was dead and replaced by Fanny Alger.

As she didn't remarry or see Dr. Bennett, it's likely that IF she were pregnant by Joseph, she died pregnant. She could be the missing link to prove once and for all that Joseph Smith is a pervert and pedophile.

We should demand that the Church dig up her body and test her bones for progesterone. If elevated, we can confirm she was in fact pregnant at the time of her death and that Joseph killed her to silence her. After all, if they trust their prophet, they should have nothing to hide right?

Look at what Martin Harris said about her:

>"In or about the year 1833, the servant girl of Joe Smith stated
that the prophet had made improper proposals to her, which created quite
a talk amongst the people. Joe Smith went to Martin Harris to counsel
with him concerning the girl's talk. Harris, supposing that Joe was
innocent, told him to take no notice of the girl, that she was full of
the devil, and wanted to destroy the prophet of God; but Joe Smith
acknowledged that there was more truth than poetry in what the girl
said. Harris then said he would have nothing to do in the matter, Smith
could get out of the trouble the best way he knew how."

A[nthony] Metcalf, Ten Years Before the Mast. Shipwrecks and Adventures at Sea1Religious Customs of the People of India and Burmah's Empire. How I Became a Mormon and Why I Became an Infidel! ([Malad City, Idaho]: n.p. [1888])

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u/Ancientabs — 1 day ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 231 r/exmormon

Child victims of Joseph Smith, a historical timeline (keep in mind he died in 1844)

Slightly better quality upload

u/Ancientabs — 3 days ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 549 r/exmormon

The first victim of Joseph Smith's pedophilia was not Fanny Alger, but Mary Beal Johnson. And she lost her life because of it.

A year before his first victim DIED, Joseph Smith was tarred and feathered for propositioning a 16 year old by the name of Nancy Marinda Johnson. A potential first victim as well.

>The tarring & feathering of Joseph Smith occurred on March 24, 1832 in Hiram, Ohio after Joseph supposedly propositioned (or possibly had sex with) 16 year old Nancy Marinda Johnson. Dr. Dennison, with the encouragement of a neighborhood mob, was encouraged to castrate him. Why would the mob try to castrate him? Castration is used as a penalty for sexual crimes only. The castration attempt is acknowledged by pro-LDS scholar Susan Easton, although she does not say why the Johnson brothers attempted to castrate Joseph.
The Johnson brothers were reportedly very upset that Joseph Smith, an older married man, would proposition his 16 year-old sister (perhaps niece) Nancy Marinda Johnson.
When the Doctor failed to perform the castration, the mob decided to tar & feather Smith. So the attack was not based on Joseph's religious beliefs, but rather on his actions.

Mary Beal Johnson was 14 years old when she went to Joseph Smith's house in September 1832. Six months later she became ill and she DIED in Joseph Smith's house. Was the illness pregnancy? Did she die at Joseph's hand?

>March 18, 1833
Mary Johnson, a sister of Luke and Lyman Johnson, died at the Prophet Joseph Smith, Jr.’s home, age about 15 years, which caused much gloominess at the prophet’s house.

We know this from Joseph Holbrook's autobiography. https://bhroberts.org/records/psWfCb-5UWpWb/joseph_holbrook_recounts_mary_johnson_dying_in_the_smith_home_in_1833

>Mary Beal Johnson [daughter of John and Alice Johnson born in 1818] lived in the Smith home (Whitney Store) to provide assistance to Emma. She died March 30, 1833. Her death was unexpected and shook up the family. I believe Fanny Alger replaced Mary as household help for Emma.

Fanny Alger worked for Joseph Smith to REPLACE Mary. Suddenly after Mary, Joseph is "marrying" the help.

By 1835 Joseph Smith claimed he was married to her and it was "of God".

There are records of Joseph Smith asking for Fanny's hand in marriage.

>Father goes to his Sister and said “Clarissy, Brother Joseph the Prophet of the most high God loves Fanny and wishes her for a wife what say you”  Said She “go and talk to Fanny it will be all right with me”—Father goes to Fanny and said “Fanny Brother Joseph the Prophet loves you and wishes you for a wife will you be his wife”?   “I will Levi” Said She.  Father takes Fanny to Joseph and said “Brother Joseph I have been successful in my mission”—Father gave her to Joseph repeating the Ceremony as Joseph repeated to him

My theory? Joseph Smith killed Mary Beal Johnson when she got pregnant. He used her death to threaten Fanny into compliance.

Fanny, after being discovered by Emma, left Joseph, married another man. She didn't follow the saints to Missouri. She didn't stay in the Mormon church. She instead joined a Universalist church. It sound more like a woman THREATENED after sexual abuse, than a woman who believed she should be sealed as a wife to the prophet.

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u/Ancientabs — 3 days ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 168 r/memes

Maybe he's born with it? Maybe it's basic hygiene?

u/Ancientabs — 3 days ago