r/datingadvice

so there is a guy I like. he's heavily hinted he likes me back (literally asked me where "we" should move one day very like sly? like he told me he wanted to move somewhere and I was like I wouldn't live there... and then he started asking me where I would consider moving too... so thats surely flirting right? )

Anyways I want to be SO clingy and up his ass all the time. but I know it isn't attractive. but I'm struggling especially while I am on break from college.

Like all I'm worried about right now is him and I dont want him to be annoyed with me 😅 since we've barely started talking. He's always happy to talk with me literally all night long but surely that will get old fast right???

so 🫩🫩 girlies save me. my brain is not working correctly. I've never wanted to be this far up a guy's ass and yet here I am. 🫥🫥

As the title says I have been single for the past 4 years, my last relationship ended when I was 22. Even know I loved her at the time, and she didn't feel I was the one so she ended it, but I now feel like I am fully moved on, it took longer than I thought but I made it. I knew I wasn't the best version of myself so I decided to work on myself, at the start it was to attract a woman but when she didn't come I got a bit desperate and lonely, however over time it got better and working on myself for me. There are ups and downs like anything, but overall I feel like I am in a good place, and now is the time to find a woman who I would like to build a long term relationship with. I have spent this single time working on myself, building the right social circle of uplifting men, good role models and building a successful tech business, I enjoy my career working with my excellent team and value each and every one of them. I have new hobbies into reading, traveling, volunteering, and politics. Working on my physical fitness going to the gym and playing tennis, joining running club meeting like minded people. I have gotten out of my shell and experiencing new things, and like volunteering at the weekend. I have focussed on trying to become a better person, and to be proud of myself of who I am. Now, I would like some advice on how I can identify a good quality partner, and what I should do when I meet her. I know this area of my life needs improving, and hasn't undergone the same level of work the rest of my life but I feel like now is the time to build a healthy relationship and I appreciate your feedback and thoughts. I want to know what you think.

One quality I value highly in a woman is that she is good with money. What I mean by this is a women who likes to save/invest, keeps track of her expenses, is careful with how she spends, wants to grow our wealth together etc...

I'd consider myself to be pretty good with money, and I don't want a woman who is bad with money and would end up holding me back financially. When I go on a date with a women/has a girlfriend how can I ensure she is like this?

I know one obvious answer to this question is to actually talk about money when going on a date (which I do). But I fear I may be overdoing it sometimes and don't want to bore her with finance talk. So do you think I should ask her a little bit about it each date? Or just sit down and have one long conversation about this?

FYI some questions I like to ask about money:

- If I gave you $1,000 (no strings attached) what would you do with it?

- What are your financial goals?

- Are you into investing? If not, are you interested in learning?

- Are you more of a saver or spender?

Finally what are some actions I can look out for that may indicate how she is with money?

Thank you in advance!

I got a crush at work that i see every evening. She always says hi to me first. Other times she says hi to me shouting my name from the distance.She always looks excited to see me. I rarely talk to her. I been calling her little buttercup just to show her some interest. Weeks past by still no flirting back :/ but she still greets me with a smile and a cute little double hand wave chest level wave lol I dont have the guts to ask her out yet Now today and yesterday was a change of course. She walks right by me says nothing. I know she saw me cause i saw her look and continues walking. LIke what the hell happened ?? did i lose my chance. Im heartbroken!! Please had this ever happened to anybody. I wanna know. Any girls do this to their crush and suddenly ignore them. Shoot this been bothering me all day

I M26 had been chatting and meeting up with a girl F22 for a while, before actively trying to date her. I had after judging we were quite good together asked her out formally, to which she said she was surprised as we had been sharing some beautiful time together, but it had never seemed to be romantic or intimate. I agree I too were confused about what ai wanted from her initially and afterwards was a bit too formal and event frightened to mess things up. After some time she, after a long interview agreed, and was even quite enthusiastic about it, even going so far as to give me tips about what to improve, namely to be more intimate and open with her. Of course after meeting up once officialy and once in a spur of the moment kind of thing, she called me over and broke up with me saying: "I really enjoyed spending time with you, you are the most charming and thoughtful man I ever met, but looking but we never had that spark." Of course she had that melancholic look to her and even doubted herself here and there, and I have met her since as a surprise for her and she did experience a pleasant shock, but insofar it looks like there really is nothing more to it. We have not been intimate in anyway shape or form, much to my dismay, as it seems that therin lies the problem. And we are to meet and spend some time together unrelated to our prior relationship, which I would like to try and use to probe any chances at potentially rekindling our relationship if at all possible.

I would like to know if there were spots I could improve or how one would go about rekindling such a relationship. For I would be rather upset if that were to be the case as in my eyes she was truly a great match, with her admitting to it as well.

So I was talking to a guy a few days ago, we were talking for quite a while (tbh it was on and off) and I feel like we were both genuinely interested and then things ended up going south all of a sudden.

Its been about 5 days since we talked, he hasnt blocked me or unfriended me on insta (the only form of communication we had) so thats why Im kinda confused and its causing me to overthink and consider whether I should send him a text back or not.

We were even planning on meeting up soon before we stopped speaking, and tbh Ive been avoiding getting drunk these past few days so I dont contact him and possibly get rejected, but I lowkey want to.

Should I take the risk even if it means I could get hurt?

Me (21M) and this girl (20) have had an on-and-off thing since high school. Back then she actually pursued me first — sexting, trying to get me alone, offered to drive me home — and I was too scared to do anything. Recently when I brought it up she said “maybe” we would’ve dated and “but you were scared of me.”

Over the years there’s been a lot of sexual tension over text. She’s said sexual things, got jealous over another girl, called me and stayed on the phone 35 minutes, called me “daddy” then deleted it, said we’re like “Kim and Kanye.” The problem is it’s always been text/phone and never in person.

A few weeks ago she said she might come home soon and when I suggested hanging out she was enthusiastic about it. Then I ruined it — I got drunk and kept calling her while she was on spring break to the point where her friend’s boyfriend answered. She eventually said “leave me alone.” I didn’t push after that but sent one emotional text which she read and ignored. It’s been a week of silence. She didn’t block me and has blocked me before.

I’m transferring to her university in August and moving into the same apartment complex as her.

Is this recoverable? Do I reach out or wait?

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im a 29 year old guy and I've never had a girlfriend, never had a kiss never been on a date, the whole shebang. And I'm convinced that not a single woman has ever been interested in me interacting with her romantically.

you'll see those posts on here about guys telling stories about signals they've missed from women, and how obvious it was looking back, but I do not have a single one of these moments in my life to reflect on. every interaction I've ever had with women has been purely platonic, so I know it really can't be that. you can say that I still must be missing the signals but I find it impossibly unlikely that I cannot recall a single time it has happened in my entire life

I remember back in high school and in college I would ask some women I thought were cute out and never was able to connect with any of them on a deeper level and/get a date. but I'm great friends with some of these women to this day and I appreciate our friendships greatly.

when I was about 21 I heard the advice that when a woman is into you, she'll make it obvious, by doing things like making herself more available for you to talk to her when you are in a public setting like work, laughing at your stupid unfunny jokes, holding eye contact for a little longer than normal, smiling when they see you things like that ect,

and that you should really only be pursuing women that give you these signals like this. so I stopped asking women out and decided to wait until I met a woman that showed me some signals that they want to be asked out.

8 years later and I'm still waiting. I haven't seen this kind of energy/body language displayed toward me by a woman a single time, ive met a lot of women due to my job (I play drums full time in a metal band) but every interaction is always purely platonic.

there has never been a single moment where a woman I have built a rapport with by interacting with them multiple times over the course of an extended amount of time, has shown me that they were interested in me asking them out on a date, being sexual or something of the sorts. they are always so closed off with me.

it's like I'm completely invisible and asexual to women. and it hurts, I'm going to be 30 and I have the romantic experience of a 15 year old

So the general consensus for guys on dating apps is to not have many/ no selfies.

But 1 shirtless photo or even a gym photo is a turn-off?

Firstly, sorry this is so long and I appreciate anyone taking the time to read this!

I (F, early 30s) started back on dating apps last month against my better judgement. I am conventionally attractive and have lots of hobbies, interests, friends, good career, etc... Within the first week or so I matched with a man (mid 30s, okay lookswise but nothing to write home about), but we started talking and it was like we had known each other forever. We skipped all the small talk and went right into great convo/banter, we had many similar interests, taste in art/music/films/books, humor, and random niche interests I've never found anyone else interested in before. Even if he wasn't my usual type looks-wise, I was super attracted to his mind and felt like we were so similar. He was super responsive and would text me back right away, we would talk all throughout the day and well into the night for hours. He would even bring up stuff like he's looking for someone to grow with at this point and dropped comments about us having potential and what not, was also super flirty and expressed a lot of explicit interest. I matched his energy and also was really responsive and openly expressing interest back, I usually am a bit more aloof in the beginning until I trust the person more. I am super picky and this is the first person in years I have actually felt like had relationship potential. This went on for about a week, I asked him when we should meet and he said he had plans that weekend but maybe the next week. I said I only have plans on _____ but I think I'll be free otherwise and he said great but didn't make an official day/plan.

The last full convo we had on a Wednesday went really well and we were joking about needing to make up a story for how we met. Then Thursday he doesn't reply at all, I reach out Friday morning and say good morning happy Friday, he didn't reply til late afternoon and said "Hi! sorry I just saw this my notifications are being weird." I said "No worries! how's it going?" He said "getting a haircut then going out of town with friends!" I said "Oh cool, where?" He told me "*insert local city here*" and I said "Sweet have fun!" He then never replied and didn't ask me how I was doing, what I was up to that weekend, etc...

I waited til Tuesday and he still hadn't texted me so I asked him straight up if he's still interested and I noticed a change in his communication and that I would just like to know rather than wasting my time further. I also said I'm obviously not expecting constant communication or anything so early on, I was just confused because he was constantly texting me the first week then totally stopped and went from 100 to 0. He apologized and said he shut off over the weekend but does enjoy talking to me and I replied and said I'll forgive him this time and sorry if my message came across poorly but I just don't want to invest energy into someone who isn't interested. He then apologized again and said something flirty and I replied saying "I do accept your apology this time but maybe not next time if the same thing keeps happening lol" He then didn't reply for 3 days! I was kind of offended because I already asked him straight up if he was still interested and it felt like he was stringing me along rather than being totally honest. And this was 2 weeks into talking and he still hadn't asked me to meet officially or set up a day/time. I was also suspicious I was being deceived or he had a girlfriend or something because he had 8 hour disappearing messages turned on the whole time we'd been talking and when I turned them off, he turned them back on again. Also sus that he may have been on a weekend trip with a woman and not just "friends" because this directly coincides with when he stopped texting me.

I texted him and basically said I feel like there are inconsistencies with your words/actions and that it has been over a week since we had a real convo. And I feel like there is something else going on like possibly already having another woman/ex in his life and keeping me on the back burner or that he just wasn't as interested as he originally implied. But that I don't play games and if I asked you for honesty and you aren't able to share your true thoughts/intentions about me that it will not work anyways. And I said I am blocking you as to not be strung along further so no need to reply.

Well overall I feel I made the right decision because anytime a man has been truly interested he wants to communicate and wants to meet me, especially if he knows he has a chance. The only times this isn't the case is if they're a player wanting ego boosts/pen pals or they already have another woman that's their main priority and want to keep you around for a rainy day. I feel like when I reached out and asked if he was still interested at that point if he was he would have asked me out, but instead he just apologized then didn't reply again for 3 days. I guess I am just wanting reassurance here that I made the right choice, because I've been really sad about it thinking I may have potentially lost something that could have been a great connection but I maybe should have given him more time and I pulled the block trigger too soon. On the other hand, I have an intuitive feeling I was being deceived/played somehow and he wasn't being totally honest with me.

Any men willing to weigh in here? (Keep in mind we're in our 30s) Are there any other reasons you would do this to a woman that I might not be considering? Should I have given him more time or you think my instincts were correct? If you were in his position how would you feel about me calling you out for inconsistent behavior/blocking you? And my unhinged questions: if you did this to a woman that you were actually interested in, but it was just a misunderstanding/lack of communication on your part and you felt like you fumbled it, would you make an effort to try to contact her in the future even being blocked or just let it go and move on? Would you be weirded out if the woman reached out to you again in the distant future after getting fed up/blocking?

Disclaimer: English is not my first language and I haven’t spoken it for a while

I (18M, 17 back then) got kind of a situation here. One year ago, i met a girl (17, 16 back then) in my town library. I noticed she was beautiful but we didn’t talk a lot. I told it to my friends and slowly we started interacting a bit. Then, we started getting invited to several birthday parties together (bc of friends in common). That’s when we started talking and we got along pretty well, but nothing really deep. During the summer we didn’t really talk and in september i moved to the city to start college. I had almost forgotten about her but when I came back for last christmas, she started to hang out sometimes with my friends. And i remembered why I liked her so much

So about a month ago, I decided to text her and see what happened. The conversation went well but didn’t last more than two or three days. What surprised me is that i went to the library when I came back home for easter holidays and met her there. She left after a couple hours and texted me, about a random thing that she told me. After that, I feel like she is giving me mixed signals (we’ve texted each other one or two times since), like taking a break from studying and chatting with me, or i say hi to her and she just smiles. She also hasn’t been asking a lot about me, although i have. She is a good person, i’m sure bc all my friends like her and our friends in common always talk beautifully about her.

My question is, does she really like me and she’s shy or is she just being nice???

Hello all, I’ve been talking to this girl for about 1.5 months now first on Hinge and then on WhatsApp. Her texting style has always been slow and because of that I’ve sent some sarcastic messages about it to make her understand that I don’t like these kind of things but nothing has changed. Sometimes she replies after 10-12 hours sometimes even after 24 hours. Despite that she keeps asking questions and showing interest.

So far we’ve been on two dates. We talked a lot about everyday life, work, politics, music but we never really talked about relationships. I couldn’t bring conversation into that direction. Also there was no physical contact on two date no kissing or anything

After the second date it was too late and I called a taxi and we went first her home and dropped her then while I was still in taxi she sent me a message she had a great time and wished me safe trip home. But every time she replies late, I start questioning whether I’m pursuing the right person

Do you guys think she’s actually interested in me or am I just some kind of entertainment for her ? I’d appreciate your thoughts

Basically the title. I don't want to send dick picks or scam or anything. I just have a hard time with dating and I think it is because of my looks. I am 25 years old.

I don't want to post a picture of myself here because I still want to stay somewhat anonymous.

Just write a comment if I can send you a picture. (or just message me, doesn't matter really)

I'm someone who doesn't know what it feels like to love someone, maybe I haven't found anyone like that yet? I have had crushes but it never got anywhere because coincidentally, my crushes always end up studying at a different place or moved abroad.

I have a friend, we hang out a lot, but sometimes it gets frustrating because it feels like he makes me feels stupid, but we are good friends I think? We clash, and when sometimes we argue, he doesn't know how to argue and turns it into an AdHominem attack against me, for some reason we still get along? Idk.

He asked me out, and again I repeat, I don't know what love feels like. Does getting along with someone make it okay to go out with them?

I kinda want to refuse because of that fact that I don't know how love feels and I'm scared I'll ruin this friendship no matter what, it's also why I'm scared of people asking me out. What if this is the only person that is willing to go out with me in my life? I don't know why I have that fear but yeah... Then i keep thinking, what if he changes? Am I missing out by saying no?

I'm sorry for this being a ramble, I need some advice and need to hear your thoughts or feedback and opinions? Again, sorry if this was a ramble.

Okay so me (22 M) right now I've been kind of missing some love and tbh I really love to be alone but sometimes I'd like to share a part of me or things that I love to do. I had a girlfriend which I broke up due to different reasons and sometimes I really think if it was worth because I really need some mental peace. After that I came back to Hinge and dated someone. Date went well and then she answered my messages after 4-7 hours and I really hate to wait for messages (anxyous attachment) and I love to text so much. After finally getting her attention she told me that in that date she felt that I love too much and I have way more energy than her. So, I decided to leave hinge for some time. It's been months and I have a new look (I was used to have a long hair). Last time a girl talked to me in a bar and I kindly rejected her because she wasn't my type but I would like to meet someone again. Also I have to add that I've been trying not to install Hinge again because I'm going to move to another state next year so I don't know if it's worth to install it again or just keep going with my life alone!

Thank u! :(

I don't have many friends, so it's hard to get introduced, and I'm tired of the app...

This man looked like Leonardo de caprio. I was obsessed with his looks and let him do whatever he wanted and of course he took advantage of that. I am angry at myself and feel stupid I let looks be such an important factor when he was an absolute douche.

But now he’s with someone else.. actually dating a girl and it’s breaking my heart that I should’ve done something different, not slept with him right away, tried to date him. I’m seeing that he’s not an asshole with her, his best side is showing. He was funny, smart and clever. It makes me angry, I never really felt I had a chance. I’ve been really good at keeping my distance and trying not to look at his instagram but 3 years later here I am looking at his new gfs, feeling like absolute shit about myself.

I know better now.. get to know the person, don’t let looks be a determining factor but I feel sad that I overlooked someone attractive and had a great personality (when he wanted to). He did sleep with other girls while being with me and ghosted me multiple times and broke my heart. How do I break this limerence

I have a really good friend who is around my age. I remember when we both got divorced in our mid-20s. We both had sons, but other than that, we didn’t have much. We were barely making ends meet: he moved back in with his mother and didn’t have a car and I was living in a deteriorating, lower-class apartment, had a very simple and functional car, and barely 10k in the bank.

Even during that time, though, there was always hope. I remember at one point I was dating multiple women I had met on tinder as I had no social circle where I was at. I had been working out a lot, was in amazing shape, dieting religiously, and felt confident, which seemed easy as going to the gym given my circumstances felt like an upgrade compared to staying home.

We were both dating at a relatively high level, but he chose a woman who wanted to grow together, build a family, and settle down. I, on the other hand, was always chasing the hotter, more beautiful women. Since I don’t consider myself good-looking (my confidence came mostly from being in great shape), that often led to toxic relationships, filled with anxiety and feelings of abandonment.

Now, at almost 38, I feel like I’ve lost my timing. After more than 60 tinder dates over the past 6 years and multiple cities, the women I meet my age, I often don’t find attractive or exciting, or engaging. They are either super fit and gorgeous (which is like 1 out of those) and and don’t seem interested in me at all or just ghost me or they are boring and feel like a project. I’ve spent years getting frustrated with dating apps and meeting people in person—situations that feel like blind dates, even after weeks of talking.

I have a very good job, a salary that would be considered “rich,” but I’m getting burned out. In my field, I need multiple contracts, and after five years of intense effort, I feel exhausted. It feels like time is running out. In my 20s, everything seemed possible with just energy and a good body. Now, in my late 30s, I have a house, a good car, and a high income, but it just doesn’t feel doable anymore.

I no longer get confidence from my looks, and honestly, I don’t look as good anymore. I’ve gained weight. Even though I earn well, I don’t feel rich because I need to plan for the future and make sure my son’s needs are met and secure. Sometimes I feel tempted to buy a crazy car or rent an amazing apartment—but why? I had the body before and it didn’t lead anywhere meaningful. I have the money now, and it hasn’t changed much either. I don’t want to trap myself financially, especially when I already feel burned out.

I’ve tried countless activities—CrossFit, dance, yoga, and more. I always try to be friendly, smile, break the ice, start conversations, and follow up. But nothing really leads anywhere. It feels forced, like trying to build a friendship during an elevator ride when the other person just wants to get to their floor. Nothing flows naturally.

I’ve tried meetup groups. They can be enjoyable, but it’s hard to connect deeply since everyone is at such different stages in life. Sometimes you’re talking to a grandmother, other times to a student—it just doesn’t click. The reality is that after putting in so much effort, I feel like I have nothing to show for it: no close friends, no meaningful relationship, no fulfilling lifestyle.

I’ve even tried dating women I don’t find particularly attractive but who I know would make good partners. But I end up preferring to be alone—it feels like a chore. At the same time, I feel deeply lonely. I work from home. I’ve been in therapy for years. I could probably get a PhD in self-help and mindfulness. I’ve tried psychedelics, everything. And still, I feel stuck with this void.

It’s a void that seems to get filled when I’m excited about a relationship or when I have a close friend—neither of which I currently have or seem able to find.

So I’ve been coming to the conclusion that my time has passed. The time to build lasting friendships was in college—but I studied in another country, and those friendships didn’t carry over. The time to meet an attractive partner was in my 20s, when I was fitter, better-looking, and had more freedom. That time feels gone. Now it feels like I’d need to get back into great shape—which I don’t have the energy for—or buy an impressive car and keep pushing myself even harder. But neither of those things has led to meaningful relationships for me before, so why keep trying and risk wasting more years?

I feel like giving up and just going off to explore—travel, live in nature, maybe move to a small town. But I know this need to connect, to feel chosen, to belong won’t go away, it might actually intensify.

I’ve traveled alone and stayed in top hotels, and it felt miserable because I had no one to share it with and it just feels better to be lonely in my own apartment rather than in an expensive hotel room I don't want to be in. When I stay in hostels, I feel better because I can connect and interact. Still, I don’t want to live for fleeting connections and drunken adventures—especially at my age.

Just needed to vent.

Most of marriage or long-term relationships isn’t about romance it’s everyday life, which is basically friendship and teamwork.
Dating is driven by attraction, but real compatibility shows when you actually have to live with the person.
Lasting relationships depend more on connection and shared responsibilities than just physical chemistry.

Like a slightly pensive look