r/bipolar2

I am a gentle, sensitive person, who always tries to put positive energy out into the world hoping that I'll be met with similar positive energy, but time after time this world reminds me that I dont belong here amongst these monsters.... my kindness is always taken for granted and met with selfishness and hostility. I can't take it anymore. Why is everyone so fucking shitty? does no one have empathy anymore?

I can hear the comments now, saying I do it to myself, or I should toughen up... fuck that. I am proud of the person I am. I'm very successful, healthy (except my brain), and honestly do more good than bad. Now I've hidden myself from people, moving out to the country and living away from towns, and still people find me and fuck with me. I just want to be left alone and that seems to be the one thing I can't get.

I recently had fake police show up to my house and claim they had a warrant to arrest me. they had my SSN and other personal details, showing that this was premeditated... what does it take for the evil people in this world to leave me alone?!

I hate it here. I hate it everywhere. I can't take it anymore. I am sitting in the tub weeping and just dont know what I did wrong... why is my life like this? if I have to become an asshole to survive this world, I'd rather not.

I can't focus on anything, I can't even watch shows or play video games. I tried to leave the house and go on a little adventure yesterday in an attempt to feel better but it just made me feel worse, all I wanted to do was go home. I have no interest or motivation to do anything, I've been really struggling to clean or even take a shower. My apartment is a total mess. I don't have the energy to walk on my treadmill anymore, which used to help. Scrolling reddit is the only thing I can manage to do besides sleeping and literally just staring out the window. I live on my own and don't have a partner, or any friends that live in this city anymore. Sounds pathetic but reddit makes me feel a little less alone even though I don't talk to anyone or post much, I'm more of just a lurker, it helps a little just reading other people's stories I can relate to.

This has been going on all week with no end in sight, it's been complete agony trying to get through each day when my mind can't engage with anything. My only hope is raising the dosage of my anti-depressant when I see my perscriber next Thursday. Feels like an eternity having to wait that long in this state. I guess I'm just venting but hearing any tips on how to get through these periods of pretty much being dead would be appreciated.

I was at a lunch today for somebody who is retiring. A coworker I haven't seen in a while asked me this question.

I knew that it didn't call for a description of how I've spent a couple years unstable until I found good meds. I also knew that I shouldn't tell him how my house is a mess, the landscaping died and I haven't done any of the hobbies I used to enjoy. I have to work to spend time with friends.

I guess I need to get some lies together or something.

For almost my entire life I have set extremely unrealistic goal post for growth, I would compare myself to this theoretical ideal version of myself. It took me till about a few years ago to realize comparing myself to this ideal version caused a lot of problems, the most obvious one is the Goal posts kept moving and inevitably it would lead to impatience with my growth and frustration that I wasn’t where I wanted to be. The worst one is comparison lead to me spiraling whether hypomanic, in a mixed state or depressed. It sucks and it still happens occasionally. It’s aggravating, bad habits are so much easier to create and so difficult to stop.

Edit: It’s ironic that something you use to help mark growth ends up being one of the causes of much mental anguish and distain for yourself.

Hello friends,

I’m just looking for some encouragement and I guess a bit of validation that I’m doing the right thing and things will be alright.

I’ve been getting increasingly more unstable over the past 3 or so weeks. To the point where I’ve just seen my GP, gotten more lithium blood levels and am waiting for that to come back, and I’m awaiting the crisis team to call me so I can possibly get admitted but will see where it goes.

I apologise if this is lengthy I don’t have anyone to talk to and I’m struggling a lot to make sense of what’s going on. I appreciate anyone who reads this and I’m sorry if it’s a bit jumbled.

I’ve battled depression for easily over 20 years on and off before being diagnosed a few years back with BP2 (I’m now 31) but this one feels different. I have voices in my head that I’ve had for quite some time but have never been anything other than a muffled critical different ages of me. They’ve become more solidified recently, louder, more demanding and fleshed out. I can see them in my head now and I feel them a lot more than I’ve ever been able to before. I have a few of them, different ages like I mentioned, different colours and I can communicate with them through music but they are able to talk to me normally, I just can’t talk back.

I’m becoming less and less real and I’ve been dissociating heavily and my memory is beyond terrible. I feel as if I’m floating through my life on autopilot and I’m not fully in control anymore. Like I’m almost stepped back from my eyes and I can see sorta but I’m not completely there. My thoughts are racing but when I try to focus in on them everything goes black, as if someone keeps shutting the door when I try to look further. One of these voices encourages me heavily to harm myself and tells me horrible things to push me closer and closer to doing something. This is why I’m seeking help currently I’m just waiting now.

I’m doing everything I can but I’m exhausted and I can’t seem to feel my body or feel real and it’s such a sensation I can’t articulate or explain correctly because it feels so different to what I usually feel. I’m taking my meds, I’m trying to sleep, I’m going to work and trying to function but today just got too much for me and I couldn’t take it and had to get myself to the doctor immediately.

I just don’t know what to do or how to explain this to professionals and have them take me seriously because to me it all sounds made up because I can’t accept this is my reality.

Thanks for reading I just hope I can get some help soon

I am dead serious. I've been thinking about this waaay to long. I am not a Christian, but I am a nerd for scholastic bible analysisis. So I am consuming a lot of bible stuff, but just don't believe in it, basically.

The thing is, I am also not one of these radical skeptical atheists either. I do believe in intelligent design. I do believe pathologizing everything won't do it justice...

but I do believe that Jesus and all Prophets were/ are bipolar. It happened to me too.

I just don't think, that's all.

What about you?

i was diagnosed bipolar2 in january 2025, and i'm currently making a case for myself to be reassessed because i think it might've been a misdiagnosis. my biggest issue though is getting a good understanding of hypomania. im pretty sure ive never felt it but ive heard so so many different descriptions of what it really is or feels like. the hypomania described in the dsm i have 100% never felt. i know that for sure. but i see some folks describing hypomania and what it personally feels like and its wildly different than what the dsm describes. could anyone share with me what its like for them specifically? i want to get a good picture of what hypomania really is before reassessment.

Hey gang. I need some sort of resource that is geared to people who don’t have bipolar but know someone who is. Something that will shed a light on issues like how bipolar influences behaviors, etc.

Trying to get a favorite relative to understand that sometimes I am my brain’s bitch. Sometimes I just *do* shit with no thought, no decision making process.

Thanks!

Currently dealing with depression and missing a lot of work. Do you bring it up? I’ve been telling coworkers I’m getting migraines. Much less taboo

how’s everyone been doing lately? just wanted to catch up and talk about my positive experiences lately (for once!!!). i sought out a psychiatrist and got a med change. i’m back on Wellbutrin until we have a follow up and add a mood stabilizer again. i was on them end of last year but was deathly scared of gaining weight so i cold turkey quit and my moods went crazy. long story. i had been in a deep depression all winter BUT !!!! we’re on the up now!!!! my appetite is nonexistent. i’ve fixed my diet completely and am TWO weeks sober after having alc dependency issues for years. i also am about two months vape free!!!! the weather is nice, im totally decluttering my space, im journaling again and playing games and music sounds great. i recently got a tattoo and have appointments lined up for a haircut and dye. (this time by a professional, not myself in my room at 3am).

everything is looking up :3

i hope things are great for you all and if it isn’t, hang in there!! my messages r always open to yap!

Hey all!

I partook in some weed like weeks ago. I finally got in with my psychiatrist after several years. So I expected to get drug tested, but I thought it would be urine… not a f*cking hair follicle drug test. I obviously failed. The real slap in the face is I don’t even smoke and was the first time in like 10 years I have. I live in a very anti area so she’s treating this diversion like it’s heroin. Whatever, I guess, I knew better. Oh well.

I was diagnosed with ADHD back in October, I’m guessing she just wanted to start off with Adderall and I didn’t expect that. So I’m banned from the practice, but she gave me another doctor’s name to try and said “they don’t have access to my data.” This is the psych who diagnosed me as bipolar (unspecified type) and seems to not be taking the undiagnosis well… I get it, because I SOUND bipolar, but I’m not exactly. I still identify with the term despite my undiagnosis because I had spent the last like 8 years believing I was bipolar… maybe I still am, but I tried everything to help it but electroshock and none of it helped. Besides lamictal but.. lol.

I guess I’m just nervous now. My hair is down to my ass. If I gotta shave it off I will. But man, I’m scared that the next doctor will find out about my failed drug test. Has anyone been able to get the help they need? I’m scared I’ll deny them access to my records and they’ll be suspicious. I just want a total do over and if that means starting from the bottom, I will. I can’t feel like this for the rest of my life.

As an aside, I found out for some reason my taxes weren’t filed correctly in 2021 from H&R Block so there was a lien and warrant out for my car in 2023 but it got expunged. Am I Walter white or something 🫩 failed drug test, not paying my taxes, what more!?

For me it makes me more stable.

I know weed is not good for people with bipolar but I just read something about it interacting with Vraylar. Has anyone had experiences with weed and Vraylar working poorly?

I’m not a heavy smoker but for whatever reason it’s hard for me to live a life completely sober all the time. Even after having awful experiences with weed somewhat recently. I just get bored and want to do something.

After a very long major depressive episode, I finally went for an evaluation and medication. I was doing really well on a combo of wellbutrin, zoloft, and lamictal. The only "negative" side effects were me waking up every hour or so throughout the night and not getting enough sleep. I was told to discontinue the zoloft and was put on remeron instead. My rage is back and it's so bad. I am also so tired. I feel like I've taken an entire bottle of melatonin and nyquil. I am needing 20 hours of sleep and I can't do that. I really miss the way I felt on the original combination of meds. I would much rather only have 6 hours of broken sleep than what I'm going through right now. Do you think it would possible to just ask to be put back on zoloft? I feel like I am regressing pretty heavily.

I've been on the best treatment I've ever had since about November. I have had two psychiatrist diagnosis me the first ending in a very poor treatment and the second like I said has been fantastic. Not for rational reason really I'm questioning did I fake it? Did I suspect and just read too much and say the magic words? The thing I dont think so I have definitely had hypomanic episodes and a lot of them and depressive for as long as I can remember and yet I still feel like a fraud. Idk curious to hear how others if they feel this way deal with that.

I'm debating starting meds again because I'm terrified of hypo-induced brain damage, but I haven't experienced any noticeable cognitive damage so far. Onset was at 18 and now I'm 24, unmedicated for the majority of the time. Curious if anyone has been able to manage without meds while simultaneously avoiding negative cognitive effects. Being off meds probably isn't advisable according to the psych literature if your goal is to avoid brain damage but I figured I'd ask!