r/benzorecovery

So it’s been about 8 months since I quit benzos. I was taking anywhere from 3–5 mg at my worst, and this has been an on-and-off battle for over a decade. I’ve managed to get clean a few times, but staying off has always been the hard part.

Since quitting this time, I’ve noticed I struggle with even the smallest day-to-day tasks. Things like cleaning, putting laundry away, or cooking a proper meal feel overwhelming. I’ll leave clothes draped over the couch or sitting folded in a basket, eat the simplest meals possible like sandwiches or don’t eat at all, and avoid even minor things like putting away new clothes I’ve bought.

I also don’t really want to leave the house much or see people anymore, which isn’t like me—I’ve always been a pretty social person. This past Sunday, I ended up taking a quarter of a 2 mg Xanax, and it made me reflect on how much I’ve been struggling lately.

I took .25MG on Sunday and it’s like all of that went away. I cleaned, organized, cooked. I felt so accomplished and I honestly miss that motivation.

Will I ever be able to get that without substances? Benzos are so risky for me from becoming dependent, to minor black outs, to getting hyper emotional or a tad agitated and being embarrassed the next day.

I’m just venting but I need help on this motivation issue.

i been sober from the begining of this year, i was on xanax for a year, barely been recovering. ended up getting a job, but i been drinking here and there because i thought it would kinda be a social thing and help with my anxiety. but i feel like i get stared at everywhere im at in public and it feels awkward. i stopped going to my doctors once i got sober they said i didint need to go but suggested therapy. do i think i need it? idk but surely its hard to have some free time im working i just dont want to lose my job feel like it is taking a toll on me .

I've posted here before. Explained my situation. 4mg of Klonopin per day, exactly as prescribed, never misused. For 7 years. 2 rapid tapers in 2025 that left me just an absolutely destroyed shell of a human. Switched to 40mg/day Valium since August '25. Again, never misused. Been on that dose ever since.

I am in my mid 40's. 2 sons. I've literally been on benzodiazepines for almost half of my older son's life, and almost ⅔ of my younger son's. And I can barely remember the last 8 years of my life with them without pictures of me with them reminding me.

Can't remember phone calls minutes after I hang up with who I'm talking to. Cognition severely diminished. Have struggled with MDD, GAD, C-PTSD my whole life. And those came well before I ever even took my first benzodiazepine.

Was 9½ years sober from alcoholism until October of last year and suddenly relapsed, which just completely and utterly turned my life even more upside down than it already was (sober now). I've barely worked in the last 2 years. Almost no money left. Sitting in a shitty treatment facility where I live that is utterly inadequate in every way in terms of addressing the depth of what I've been going through for years and years and years.

My body trembles constantly. I have to eat with a spoon because I literally can't keep food on a fork. Depressed beyond belief. Social anxiety in groups. Not a single close friend left. Not one.

I'm just so, so utterly exhausted in my soul. And knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that not only are my best years behind me already, but that I will certainly be permanently impaired for whatever is left of my life from years of these medications, and what it would take to come off of them... I'm just shattered. I feel like my life is over. And I'm not prone to being dramatic, that's just my intuition and my understanding of both my life and my predicament with these drugs telling me the truth of the matter. I'll never be the same.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. Just reaching out the only way I know how. To a community of strangers. Holding back tears until I hit post, drop the phone and break down. I don't even know what anyone could say that could possibly provide any realistic hope.

I just don't know anymore.

I’m not sure if this is depression, benzo withdrawal, or both, but I feel like I’ve lost my ability to think. My mind goes blank in the middle of sentences, I get stuck repeating the same thoughts, and I second-guess everything I say. It’s become really hard to finish a sentence in conversation, and sometimes I start dissociating halfway through and don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.

I’m also dealing with depression and a lot of OCD-like intrusive thoughts. I barely recognize myself anymore and everything feels unfamiliar and alien. It’s so scary.

For context: I was on benzos for 6 years. Took 1 mg daily for 3 years, then updosed to 2 mg. I tried a rapid taper soon after but it failed. Reinstated at 1 mg, but my cognition took a huge hit after that. I had symptoms that mimic early-onset dementia. During an inpatient program I tapered to 0.5 mg, then gradually to 0.375 mg and stayed there for about a year. Things seemed to be improving until October 2025.

Since then, the intrusive thoughts have gotten much worse, and I’ve started having trouble understanding people when they talk. I sometimes make up words without realizing it, and people look at me confused. My doctor put me on 75 mg of Zoloft for depression, but I feel like I’m only getting worse. I’m now around 0.25 mg and I feel confused 24/7. I have no desire to live anymore.

Ativan 1mg daily for nearly six months now. Have skipped some days in that time (mostly drinking) but it’s been a pretty good while. I have been taking it at night for insomnia but I don’t know how to taper off it for me sleep. As soon as I have a day where I take a half I just don’t sleep at all.

Are these symptoms of addiction or of dependence?

-random leg or toe twitches like when you’re just about to fall asleep (but you’re awake)

-forgetting the word for things really often (way worse than usual)

-absolutely exhausted by 3PM

Hey all. I was on .5mg to 1mg of Clonazapam as needed (usually every 3 to 7 days) for a good two decades. Over the past 9 months or so I have been on an incredibly slow taper and haven't had too many issues. I have a lot of fatigue, muscle pain, some heightened anxiety, but generally it hasn't been horrible.

However the one thing that is absolutely killing me is light sensitivity and headaches. Basically, whenever I'm playing a video game that is action oriented or an FPS, I can only play for a very short time before getting an intense pain right between my eyes under my eyebrows, sometimes accompanied by nausea and sweating. The fix for it ice packs on my eyes followed by heat followed by a good long sleep. I've had to dim my computer monitor significantly and wear blue light glasses but sometimes even just using the computer for work is taxing on my eyes.

This has been going on through the entire taper. I've gotten a clear eye exam, a clear ENT exam, clear bloodwork, even a fucking MRI that showed no issue so all my doctors think it's just part of the taper. It has gotten slightly better. When I started my taper I couldn't even watch TV without having a major issue, now it only comes up with certain high intensity games but, as someone who games a lot, I'm just so worried I will never get back to normal and be able to enjoy my passion again.

I officially had my last dose of clonazapam a little over a week ago and while a lot of my eye/headache issues were not too bad for awhile things have gotten really bad once more. Anyone have any experience specifically with headaches or migraines like this or have any words of hope here? I just get so concerned this is going to last forever.

I keep having these dreams, even though ive been clean for over a year now.  I just keep having dreams about consuming pills. The other night i had a dream where clonazepam pills were in my hand, and with the sunlight, they glimmered like an opal would in all sorts of colors. They looked beautiful, shining, and i couldnt resist taking them in my dream. They tasted just how i remember them to taste. If i had to describe it i would say they tasted like relief. I woke up with dread in my heart. I dont want to dream this stuff. I hate it. I only have these kinds of dreams when my life is going all sorts of wrong. Do they ever go away?

Im thinking i cant hold on much longer, i feel like giving up, im not gonna use benzos again but i have thoughts about sh. Or even suicidal thoughts. I just need help

I have tried numerous times to get off lorazepam but no success and now its no longer helping. Is there any advantage to trying vslium when already in tolerance. I dont know what to do but lorazepam is no longer helping at all and having terrible effects on me way too numerous to mention.

Hello, I'm very brand new to this, after a health scare I went to the er and was diagnosed with anxiety, i was given about 5 days of 1mg ativan and told to take it every 8 hours. i only really ended up taking 2 a day and I did this for about 3 days before looking up the medication and finding out that it had horrible withdrawals. I don't know if it was the anxiety or what not but 3 days after I was stuck in the er for benzo withdrawal, they did a iv shot to try and get it out my system but the next day I nearly collapsed and ended up there, before i could do much I got a dose of it right in my arm and felt normal. It's been a miserable journey since, the day after I went straight to a psych emergency care and they have me on this 8-10 day taper journey. I was on extremely short term use but I still get awful symptoms: Headaches, elevated anxiety, twitches and spasms. I'm honestly afraid i'll die at this point. I'm just looking for some kind of support or maybe someone who can give me leads on what to do. Is it possible to taper in that short amount of time or am I going to be hooked on this medication for years? I really just want my old life back before all this happened. I've read so many horror stories on here that it's honestly just got me thinking that I'm done for...

Hi people. Basically I was on 6mg lorazepam for a while - like July to Feb this year. My psych put me down to 3.5 in the next couple months and I legit died. I went back up to 4 crashed again then going back up to 6 today and do liquid taper since finding a new doctor who is amazing.

I was started on these end of 2024 for bipolar 2 episodes then went up to 2mg then gradually up. Every day I has them as a prescription but was hard too come off as I was in and out of hospitals

I am so messed up right now mixed up stressed guilty, shame just all these feelings.

I’m also on lamictal and lithium low dose tho and just feel completely helpless. As going down triggers episodes??? Has anyone been in a similar situation?? Like ??? Will it even get better I am so so so lost also a suicidal everyday (people are aware) but like damn my Dr really fucked me up wtf

Supposedly I'm in the hardest phase (months 8-12), but what if I'm already stuck like this? The dose I was taking was very low.

I'm in the hardest phase of PAWS (months 8-12). The derealization, the weird dreams, the feeling that nothing is real... it's awful.

But what if I'm already stuck like this? What if it never goes away?

The dose I was taking was very low. It was alprazolam 0.5 mg tablets, tapered like this:

First 2 weeks: 1/4 tablet at 8:00 AM, 1/4 at 3:00 PM, 1/2 at 10:00 PM.

Next 2 weeks: 1/4 at 8:00 AM, 1/2 at 10:00 PM.

Next 2 weeks: 1/4 at 8:00 AM, 1/4 at 10:00 PM.

Next 2 weeks: 1/4 at 10:00 PM only.

Then stop.

That was 10 months ago. And now the anxiety and derealization are worse than ever.

Can you share your worst anxiety episodes?

I’ve been taking 1mg Ativan once daily to sleep for the last six months. I occasionally go one day with it it and some days only half my. Is this addiction level territory? Do I need to taper if I can successfully have break days without any withdrawal symptoms?

Day 4 since jumping off 0.06 mg daily. I was on clonazepam 2 mg a day since June 2021, so this has been a long road to get here.

Honestly didn’t know what to expect these first few days, but today I just ran 3 miles at the gym and I feel better than I have in a long time. Not saying it’s all perfect or that there won’t be ups and downs, but this feels like a real win.

If you’re in the middle of tapering or thinking about it, just know it is possible. Slow and steady really mattered for me.

Would love to hear how others felt around day 4.

A year ago I did in one swoop a 50%-75% drop from xanax usage to klonopin for taper. The psychiatrist I switched to to help me taper wouldn’t prescribe more than 2mg of Klonopin. So I accepted as he was the only psychiatrist willing to work with me and jot try to send me to detox. Previous “Xanax” street bar probably RC benzo usage was roughly 4mg-8mg a day. I am finally feeling stable enough to start the taper from the Klonopin, however I was prescribed gabapentin to help me over the last year as the massive drop sent me into some bad withdrawal. Had to take FMLA from work and any PTO I earned I used immediately as I could after FMLA ran out.

Here’s the pickle I am in. I take 900-1600mg gabapentin a day. Should I taper of the gabapentin first? Then start the benzo taper so I have no tolerance to gabapentin anymore and can use it PRN during benzo taper? Or should I taper benzo first and stay stable on gabapentin until I am off the benzos? Thank you for any input

hey guys im on 4mg of clonazepam and 5mg of lorazapam daily how long will it take me to taper down from them iv just started 3 days ago and stayed on 4mg clonazepam and instead of two 2.5mg lorazapam a day im doing one and half i can't see my main doctor till late next month but i needed to start now otherwise i was about to lose my family my partner my son so i have to start now i just lost my full-time job last week because I took to many and was out of it so can someone give me some sort of time frame also yes I feel like shit even though its 3.75 instead of 5mg lorazapam

Don’t know if I can crawl out of this hole that I’m in

L post incoming. Been addicted to benzos for nearly two years now (varies between 1mg-10mg xanax daily) along with constant cocaine use and 10+ drinks a day. Probably gonna get fired from my job that I hate soon and have alienated myself from many friends over the last few years. Mid 20s. Really fucked up my chance at a happy life. Don’t care about anything truthfully.

Don’t know why I’m posting this but it’s really starting to set in that I’m nearing the end of my road. Living in a world class city but spend most of my time drinking and doing blow in my apartment. Hopeless. Haven’t hit the gym in nearly a month. Haven’t had sex in probably half a year (had a nice gf but broke up because I realized I didn’t truly care about her).

What do? Rehab? Kinda made a commitment to not kill myself so not really considering doing that (at least intentionally). Again, not really sure why I’m posting this but maybe someone here has some advice.

Ideally would like to do a long lasting doctor-supervised taper as I keep trying to taper with street bars but always inevitably wind up fucking it up

I had been abusing benzos very badly for about 6+ years, and I was doing up to 40-50mg of flualprazolam for a while (not a typo), I had seizures coming off but it wasn't too bad. It's been 4 and a half years since I came off, and I tried to return to some normal benzo use in lower doses, but I find I still feel dizzy and bad after taking them, same with alcohol, I get a shitty comedown feeling a few hours after even a couple drinks.

Is there anything that can help my brain repair this more than it can on it's own? I'll never go back to daily benzo use but they are incredibly helpful as an occasional anxiety medication, and I do want to be able to occasionally take one or have a drink or two sometimes.

I have been tapering for a long time and down from 5mg to now currently 1.75mg diazepam.

It’s been 7 days since my last taper down from 2mg and suddenly last night been unable to sleep all night, just can’t calm my body or mind it’s like they’re on caffeine or something (I don’t drink caffeine). I have muscle tension and aches and my teeth and face muscles hurt. Weird chest sensations like my heart is stopping. Loud tinnitus and headache. My stomach issues are so bad it feels like it’s upside down. The symptoms are constant for 12 hours now and I’m confused as I was doing well the last few days and able to walk and get in nature and do things around the house (I also have me/cfs but I’m fairly functional at the moment).

Really confused why it’s day 7 it’s hit and why it’s so brutal. It feels like I’m just trying to survive minute by minute. Anyone have any advice or things that helped them cope?

I have been drinking chamomile tea and eating well. I have zero energy this morning though.

I have also been prescribed 10mg propanolol as since being on a benzo I actually found out I have POTS hyperadregenic kind meaning I have adrenaline dumps throughout the day which was mistaken for anxiety, however been too scared to take it due to increase in this ‘anxiety’ when tapering. Has anyone has any experience taking propanolol during a benzo taper?

Thank you ❤️ I just want to get through this hell!

Starting to consider going to rehab as I’m at my wits end. 2-10mg street bars and 10+ drinks nearly every day for almost two years along with constant cocaine and ketamine usage. Very frightened of a cold turkey withdrawal and the potential seizures and withdrawal symptoms. Does anyone know of any rehabs that specialize in subtle tapering so I can minimize the chances of awful detoxes? Please help

Drug that costed me 1$ 100pills/bottle back then for brain damage caused by chemicals and CNS depressants

Shit works like jesushealing.jpg

8 hours sleep

Never happened for four months

8 out of 10 it’s not for you guys, I’m not here encouraging anyone taking this thing, just glad it worked, have spent 1000$ on some treatments for acetylcholine deficiency, asswipe doctors.