r/TwoXChromosomes

I live in a decently large city and went downtown today with my parents. My parents were hungry so we stopped at a place that you walk up to a window to order and everyone eats outside.

It's a nice day today so this place was busy, probably 5-6 other customers waiting on food. I wasn't hungry so I decided to smoke a cigarette, and I don't like smoking near other people (I know I know, gross habit lol) so I walked away from everyone, near the corner of the parking lot.

As soon as I walked away this random man walked straight to me. I already knew what this was going to be unfortunately (aye girl let me get your number type shit). He walked up and told me his name, and then said he just moved to the city we're in. I'm thinking *cool, I don't fucking care go AWAY please*, but I just stand there. He then asked for my phone number. Now normally I'd handle this how I'm assuming lots of women do. You all know the drill. "Scared of upsetting random potentially dangerous man, just smile and tell him you have a boyfriend/husband and move along."

Today since it was broad daylight in a busy city with many people around, I decided fuck it, not bothering with niceties. I just said point blank "No." and turned to continue smoking my cigarette.

Now this all happened so fast and was actually scary, but he began walking back towards the restaurant and his friend (the other man he was with) began walking fast as shit towards me for some reason. At this point my parents (and all the other customers) were watching and my dad began walking towards me.

As soon as my dad got near everything, they turned their misdirected anger towards him and began SCREAMING at my dad????? They were telling him to "get the fuck out of MY city" (weird lol) and just yelling, I'm just standing there like a fucking deer in headlights, when I notice the friend (not even the guy who came up to me) pulled out a 3-4 inch pocket knife. He was holding it near his side, almost behind his back as he screeched and yelled at my father who was kind of just watching the scene in disbelief.

At this point EVERYONE, the restaurant workers, the customers, my mom, everyone was watching. I felt like I couldn't breathe and was genuinely panicking inside, so I pulled out my phone and kind of semi-yelled "Okay I'm calling the police" and as soon as I said that the two men stopped almost instantly, jumped into their car and literally peeled out of the parking lot, still yelling at us out the window of their car. 😳

All of this embarrassing, scary bullshit because I said "No." Men actually sit around and think women "have it so easy" and whine about how they "can't even ask women out anymore."

THAT IS WHY. Because so many men CANNOT accept a "No" and become terrifying and genuinely dangerous when told no.

I really feel sorry for anyone working at Syracuse Airport and experiencing harrassment.

The lawyer's ad says "When HR called it harmless flirting … we called it exhibit A." The airport refused to post the ad twice, asking her to "tone down" and "soften" the language each time. Direct quote from the article:

>Once again, it [the airport] refused to run the ad, arguing "the proposed slogan falsely implies that conduct considered to be ‘harmless flirting’ is necessarily actionable harassment."

Can you imagine how many times employees there might have gone to HR for support with workplace sexual harassment and had it dismissed as harmless? Can you imagine the hubris it takes to try and tell a lawyer - a successful working professional whose area of expertise is sexual harrassment - that her statement about sexual harassment is incorrect or false? Yikes.

I regularly dress in a way many men consider unattractive. No make-up, a cap to protect my face from the sun and just very basic clothes. I just don't care to look good outside of meeting my partner or female friends because the only thing that happens with men that are not my partner is that I get harassed and most of them don't understand no.

What I don't understand is why it makes them outright angry? It's to a point where they become hostile. I feel nothing in particular whenever I don't find somebody attractive. I would also not have a problem talking to that person or be friends with them. I could even become attracted to them over time when I like their personality.

How can somebody become angry and disrespectful just because they don't find another stranger attractive? What even is that?

I'm on an international job in a male dominated industry and I have been so put off how men are treating me and the things I've witnessed, all I feel like is an object to them or an inconvenience.

I try to enjoy a swimming pool on my own and a man (management from my client company)comes out to have a seemingly normal conversation. hours later he's hitting on me through our work emails asking if he can come in the pool with me. I got stalked by him in Facebook.

I got on a night out with a different group of male colleagues and I'm dragged to a nightclub that's actually a literal brothel without being asked. half the men have wives or fiancés and they say all cocky "don't tell my Ms we went here" and telling me they'd rather have me over those "whores".

While I sat there waiting for a taxi one of the colleagues touched my thigh repeatedly and asked me "how many men have you had" and if I would get with any of the girls there.

I get told I was complimented during a job, I excitedly listen expecting praise on my skills and abilities to do the job. nope turns out some guy said I was a "hot chick" and they are all "too scared to talk to me".

I get spoken down on, sexist remarks everyday from my own colleagues at my expense, nothing I say gets taken seriously but if an older man says it authorities instantly respect them and listen. but everything I say gets questioned, taken with grain of salt, challenged, ignored.

I get weird comments from men who don't know how to talk to women. I feel like a toy or a piece of meat.

my confidence and trust is erroding when it's meant to be building as a trainee. my mental health some days just plummets. there's very few women around so I feel lonely from lack of company but when I opened up I get told "you're a woman it's easier to get men to talk to you so there must be a problem with you if they're not talking to you". there's no point in telling anyone about this at work because it will not get heard.

I really don't trust men anymore they are disgusting and appalling. "there's good men" "not all men" where are they then? why don't they stand up for me because they definitely witness this. this is how they behave when they're far from home. their true colours really come out. I loved my job but I can't deal with this anymore it's not worth it. I can't stand the idea of being married and my husband lies to be that he was just having beers with the boys all night but was actually at strip clubs and behaving inappropriately to female colleagues.

on top of all this a guy I used to date I cut it up and said let's stop dating. he continues to text me trying to talk about sex. so all I feel like is a piece of flesh for men to objectify or call emotional. fuck them.

Earlier today I spoke with my son after not talking to him for several months. He has been very abusive towards me especially since I was first diagnosed with cancer in 2013. Back in September, I got really, really sick with sepsis from an infection I picked up at the hospital the prior week. I had a 106.5 degree fever and was delirious. I called my son to help me, but he wouldn’t help me. Today he told me that he actually wants me to die. And that’s why he refused to help me.

I have always been a good mom. I helped him with his drug addiction after he stole and abused me. I let him live with me after he lost everyone and everything.

He has been callous and cruel for years, but I guess I was delusional for believing that he actually loves me.

How do you overcome this pain?

I am cutting myself off from him because he will never stop hurting me. I’m devastated. I don’t want to talk to him or see him anymore.

tl;dr My husband asked me if I still love him intimately and if we could have sex on our anniversary this year after not having it for three years. I honestly am not sure how to respond as my feelings for him have changed after having kids.

My husband and I have will have been married for 10 years this fall. We have two kids under 6 years. During our marriage, we've only had sex occasionally with most of that during the times we were trying to conceive. The last time we had sex was over three years ago.

Tonight he asked if I still loved him intimately. I've never been an intimate person even before we met. My family rarely said that we loved each other. I've struggled with showing love to him outwardly, but I thought it was a known fact that I love him and he accepted the fact that I'm not super physical.

Another reason I've struggled with showing him affection is our kids. Yes, I chose to have them, but I underestimated the physical and mental toll parenthood would have on me. I work full-time on top of being a mom and having to cook, clean, keep track of appointments, etc. Add to that my husband has epilepsy, so he can't drive, meaning I'm the only one who can do school and work transportation, grocery pickups, and everything else that comes along with that. By the end of the day, I'm exhausted.

Meanwhile my husband does not seem to notice anything that needs done unless I ask. He doesn't see the food on the floor that needs to be cleaned up. He doesn't see the pile of laundry in the baskets or the toys all over the place. He doesn't do any household chores or parenting duties unless I specifically ask or I'm at my breaking point and screaming at the top of my lungs. All this to say that while I still love him, I'm not sure I'm in love with him anymore. There have been times I've contemplated divorce or regretted getting married and having kids. He honestly seems more like my child than a spouse these days. He also has been meeting with a counselor lately to deal with his anxiety, while I've had to put my mental health on the back burner to take care of him and our kids.

We are going away for a few days for our 10 year anniversary this fall, and he has asked if we can have sex. I've never really craved sex, especially now with my postpartum body and my lack of attraction to him. I told him I wasn't sure. I feel like I should just say yes, especially since he was respectful and is clearly hurting, but I'm dreading it.

Please be kind.

I reported a man at work for making gross sexual comments about children and girls. Disgusting stuff. My work decided to do nothing about it until I threatened to take it to the press and law enforcement. They brought in a legal 3rd party and still decided to keep him employed.

This is at a country club, so the decision, I imagine, ultimately came down to the board. The board is all men who protect their own. They want to also keep making lewd comments to girls and getting away with it, so he gets away with it.

So he gets away with it because he's a man and conventionally attractive. One of my (now ex) male friends and I were discussing it, he worked there before, and said "I don't want to see him get in trouble, I mean he's a creep but it's his job." I had to paint him an, albeit unfair stereotype, to get him to see it my way. I said, what if that guy was overweight, balding and sweaty? He goes "Oh my god I never thought of it like that."

So literally because this man is charismatic and attractive he gets to go around making predatory comments to everyone and anyone, fellow staff and members.

All of this to say, it's like the cherry on top of my life of dealing with narcissistic, awful men. I'm so drained. I thought I was doing the right thing by reporting him (this is his second offense by the way) and all it's done is emotionally drain me and make me depressed.

I hate it here. I really do.

I hope this title doesn't get me banned. I saw Olivia Rodrigo's new album cover and instantly loved it. Then I saw some other photos from her rollout where she is in a tiny baby doll dress and knee high socks. I went back and looked at the album cover again-- and her new Instagram profile picture. I've seen comments online excited for this era of her fashion and I couldn't help but feel a pit in my stomach.

I want and I need to clarify: I am in *full* support of women wearing what they want. I'm a short girl and I have always loved tiny skirts and dresses because I feel like it's the only way I don't look like a awkward weeble. And I find the freedom of my legs exhilarating. So, don't get me wrong, I love mini skirts and dresses. But the older I've gotten, the more I question why I/we "want" to wear these clothes. Where is the line between female empowerment/wearing what we want and appealing to the male gaze?

When we're putting on knee high socks and posing for photos on our knees (the latter here is in reference to Sabrina Carpenter), what are we really saying? "I'm embracing my sexuality," "I only dress for myself," "guys need to learn to not sexualize me." These things are all true, but as American culture moves rapidly towards fascism and a third of gen z boys believe "a women should obey her husband," [from a recent article in the Guardian], I cannot help but worry for us girls/women, especially now, when we have seen men in power exposed as pedophiles and know that they love not only reducing women to sexual objects, but *young* sexual objects. I am increasingly skeptical we can ever escape the male gaze and experience true freedom of expression through fashion.

Pop stars traditionally have been scantily clad, it's their thing, it's the shtick, I get it. I am not asking these girls to be saviors or role models for girls everywhere because that is just not fair and it is unrealistic. But that does not mean my heart doesn't drop a bit seeing a rockstar in the

making wearing lolita-esque 'fits.

What are your thoughts on this dilemma? How do we empower young women to wear what they want and feel safe, while also acknowledging the dangers and pervasive nature of the male gaze and predatory desires/actions?

Again, this is not at all a slam to Miss Rodrigo. It's a fun and beautiful album cover and I can only imagine how great the music will be. But the whole aesthetic of it seems indicative of something larger.

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I got pregnant in 2025 Feb, had a miscarriage and since then my health has not recovered, I have been facing infections, swollen uterus issues and intense pain. It only got worse each day. Let's say "Y" and I are responsible for the pregnancy. My life has been extremely painful since that day.

He has been there for me whenever it was convenient for him. He lost his job and was jobless for a few months, he now got his job back is doing really well. Me on the other hand I had to skip school because of how messed up my health got. Pushing my graduation. I barely step out of house. I am in pain all the time. I am seeing doctors. And I usually vent about this to "Y". He straight aways ignores me a lot of times. This week especially has been really bad for me health wise. I am not saying a man has to suffer the pain, but it is so disappointing that I see my life crashing and I have to deal with it alone. I can't hep but think that a man faces less consequences even though we are both responsible for it.

It hurts me so much. Sorry ik there are a lot of things in the post but I am so tired, mad, raged.

I don't know if its a excuse to leave? like it could be a cop out to just break up, seems like a weird way to go about it though.

My boyfriend (25M) of 15 months broke up with me (20F) last night. Not because we argued, not because of anything I did, not because feelings faded or whatever. Because my feet are bigger than his.

I'm not even joking. He sat me down and said it makes him feel "less manly." My feet that I have zero control over btw.

I didn't even cry at first I just kept waiting for him to say he was kidding or that there was something else going on because surely, surely that can't be the real reason.

I've been going over it in my head all night and I keep landing in the same place which is like... what was I supposed to do with that information. Was I supposed to apologise for my feet, was I supposed to feel bad for having a body that exists the way it exists.

The thing is he never mentioned it before. Not once. So I'm also just sitting here wondering how long he was looking at my feet thinking about his own masculinity... or this is just a lie and a reason to break up (?)

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this point, its kinda funny but then confusing and also if thats the real reason then makes me feel very ugly and masculine.. any advice? if you need more info then let me know happy to fill that in for you

What do you want from your female friends who are mothers? What do you want them to stop doing or saying??

I work in UX design, have been doing it for five years, have a portfolio, have shipped actual products people use. The guy I went out with works in finance and has apparently "always been interested in design." Great, cool, me too, it's my entire career. Within twenty minutes he was explaining to me what a user persona is. Then he explained why whitespace matters. At one point he said "the thing most designers don't realize" and I actually had to look down at my drink to keep a straight face. I didn't correct him once. I just kept nodding and saying "oh interesting" like I was learning so much. Part of me is frustrated at myself for that because why didn't I just say something. But also I know exactly why, because every time in the past I've pushed back in that situation the energy shifts immediately and suddenly I'm difficult or competitive or "a lot." So I smiled and listened and learned about my own job from a man who has never done it. We didn't go on a second date, shockingly. I told my coworker about it the next day and she just said "oh the explainer type, yeah they always find us" and somehow that made me feel better and worse at the same time.

Hi everyone,

I’m 21F and in a long-term, long-distance relationship (6 years). Recently, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend, and only once. It was a really positive experience. I love him a lot, and we’re very close emotionally.

But now we’re back to long distance again; I feel like something shifted in me, and I feel extremely sexually deprived. I’ve been masturbating a lot, often watching porn, which I honestly don’t even enjoy or feel good about afterward.

What’s been bothering me more is that I’ve started having very frequent sexual thoughts and fantasies, and I've developed this strong fixation on being submissive during sex. I understand that this is nothing wrong and is a normal preference for some people, but for me it feels like it’s becoming intrusive and hard to control and is getting strongly reinforced by porn. It’s getting to a point where I’m struggling to focus on my work and daily routine.

I guess I just feel a bit overwhelmed and not fully in control of my thoughts right now. And I don’t want this sense of sexual emptiness to take over my life or affect my goals.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? How do you cope with it in a healthy way?

Would really appreciate some support or advice.

I don't mean this to sound rude, but when I hear about women in rough marriages, I always wonder if I'd be capable of catching those red flags before I tied the knot. Is it a matter of men lying and keeping secrets until they have you pinned down? Do they change for the worse? Or do some women just struggle to see the bad in their fiancee until its too late?

Would like to hear your stories. Positive changes are worth sharing as well.

I've just severed contact. Apparently I ask too many questions. Despite having the same parentage I am "too involved".

Okay, message received.

They objects to me even asking social questions. "How's it going?" is too much.

Bye. Loved ya, once. No more. You killed it with your paranoia.

It's weird talking about this subject but I believe Latin and black women probably will relate.

I'm an afro Brazilian woman and my experience being a woman + black in a deeply racist and misogynistic country is the worst possible lol.

I've spent my whole teen years being bullied because I was an "ugly nerd" which made me profoundly insecure about my appearance. But as soon as I got older and my body was fully developed I started experiencing the other side of being systematically dehumanized by being constantly sexualized and fetichicized.

I guess after years of being bullied for my apparence I mistakenly thought that sexualization was the acceptance I dreamed my whole life, obviously it was not and just got me physical and psychological abuse and humiliation.

I'm going 30 next year and since I changed my contraceptive my body went to a whole new change, worsening my already fucked up perception and relation with my own body.

I'm feeling ashamed and disgusted especially with my breasts, I mean, I like them but I've always associated them with the end of my childhood with my mom constantly criticizing me for wanting to dress my kids clothes because "you have breasts now you need to learn dressing modesty so you don't gather masculine attention" I was like 10 yo and was already feeling disgusted and uncomfortable on my body, like it was something wrong that has to constantly be covered up.

I think the way my family dealt with the harassment I've been going through since I was like 10/11 yo contributed negatively to my perception of my body and sexuality, I know they just wanted to make sure I was not assaulted by pedo scum but I missed someone telling me it was not my fault and there was nothing wrong with my body.

Ofc men have been specially mean to me, with one of my ex saying that I am the Brazilian woman stereotype and I should go to eu be a prostitute because it was the best I could get (I heard this a LOT and I can't understand how someone thinks this is a compliment lol).

There is no right way of being a woman I guess, anyway you are victimized by people who just can't see you as a human being.

I feel like I could talk the whole day about how some people were mean and gross even when I was a pre teen or teen because no matter how I dress it's always wrong and people (specially men ofc) always felt entitled to make comments about my body.

Sorry if this is a stupid or irrelevant topic, I tried to vent with a male friend about it and he joked about being "hot people problems" and now I don't even know if my pain is justified.

I tried to post this in outlast trials but it got taken down.

Now, to preface this, I love outlast trials, I’ve made a lot of friends and it’s very fun, so if you’re thinking of joining, you absolutely should it’s amazing.

However, today I had the worst encounter with another player - very obviously a man.

He was fine at first and then asked where I was from since he liked my accent. I told him and then asked him where he was from back, and he told me Saudi Arabia and I said I was fine with it.

And then he started going weird.

A person with a black avatar passed us and he said the n word over and over again? Like five times in a row. And then when I asked him which trial he’d like to do, he told me that he didn’t mind as long as he could touch himself to my voice. And then proceeded to keep calling me girl and ask for my real name over and over, and only me -I was the only girl in the group.

I’m staying on mute after this, why are men horrible.

I swear every top I own just… slowly migrates upwards. I leave the house looking normal and within 1 minute I’m in public constantly tugging my top down like I’m in some kind of low-budget performance art piece.

And my boobs?? They’re basically like “hi yes we’d also like to say hello to everyone today” because everything rides up and suddenly it’s just… more exposed than intended.

because the second you have any shape the fabric just gives up and starts climbing.

The only thing that actually stays put now are bodysuits… which is great until you need the toilet and suddenly you’re fighting for your life in a cubicle.

Also the material?? Why is everything either stiff and unflattering or so flimsy it just pushes out the slightest hint of a belly (and I don’t even have much, just a normal human one that shows I love eating)

Is there ANY material or style that actually stretches, stays down, and still looks flattering??

I didn’t realise “having a body” would turn getting dressed into a full-time job.

Please tell me this isn’t just me 😭