r/TwoXChromosomes

Reposting from my previous post in r/pregnant. Please do not assume I’m ill-informed on it being major surgery, I’m aware.

Am I crazy for wanting a C-section?

I cannot understate how absolutely terrified I am of birth - think tokophobia if it didn’t include pregnancy. It’s not new, I’ve felt the same way since I was an early teenager.

I’m 5’2” & my husband is 6’3”. His head is so large he has to buy elastic hats, he can’t wear regular ones. I also have an \*extremely\* short waist. We were both very large babies - 9lbs 9oz at 37 weeks & 9lbs 6oz at 39 weeks.

I was a c-section because of my size, so was my sibling. No gestational diabetes, we were just large. I also have Leiden factor V & factor VII issues that make blood clots more likely. I understand surgery is a risk with that, I also feel like it’ll be more controlled?

People act like I’m crazy for saying I’d prefer a c-section. Am I desensitized to the thought of a c-section because of me & my sibling? I can’t even do typical gyno appointments without anxiety meds, the thought of delivering vaginally & all of the potential complications make me nauseous. Beyond nauseous - like my heart races, my breath catches, & I start sweating profusely.

I in no way think that a c-section is the easy way out. I’ve assisted in the procedure in companion animals & it was already complicated. I’ve observed in humans. Who are way, way, \*way\* more complex when it comes to birth just anatomically. Not even considering the cognitive/emotional aspect. Please don’t think I’m opting for an easier route - I’m saying that I’m terrified I’ll have lifelong complications from a vaginal birth given my husband’s height (and my shortness) & the fact that we were both large.

I understand that a lot of people are terrified of a c-section, but I’m also terrified of having a third or fourth degree tear and potential lifelong pelvic/urogenital issues.

About a year ago, I sought pelvic floor physical therapy for pelvic pain and sensitivity. I had only seen one doctor at that point, and they immediately referred me to a specific pelvic floor therapist. Originally, they recommended the owner of the practice, but she was not accepting new patients, so I was assigned to another therapist. I was told she was very experienced and highly recommended.

The first session involved what I understood to be an initial evaluation. Although I felt uncomfortable, I assumed it was necessary. During that exam, she used a Q-tip and slowly rubbed it over my clitoris, around my vaginal opening, and around my urethra. This made me extremely uncomfortable, especially because my primary pain and sensitivity had always been in my clitoris.

What concerns me is that this same Q-tip technique became the main focus of every session afterward. Typically, the sessions would begin with massage work on my stomach and legs. Then, for the majority of the appointment, she would use a Q-tip to slowly rub my clitoris and surrounding vaginal area. This occurred repeatedly throughout approximately 20 sessions.

There was very little internal work . The only internal work I can recall was on two occasions when she inserted the tips of two fingers slightly into my vagina and had me squeeze for about five seconds. Other than that, there was essentially no internal pelvic floor evaluation or treatment. The final ten minutes of each session were usually spent reviewing stretches to perform at home, which I followed consistently and diligently.

Over time, I actually felt worse. The repeated Q-tip stimulation would often trigger significant flares of my symptoms, and I frequently left appointments feeling upset. There were times when I would sit in my car and cry because I felt violated and uncomfortable with what had occurred during the sessions.

What has made me question this experience even more is that I have since seen multiple physicians and specialists for my pelvic pain. When I explain the treatment I received, many of them seem surprised or confused by it. More recently, I have undergone pelvic examinations where providers used a Q-tip to apply pressure to specific locations in order to identify pain points, which helped reveal significant areas of pain. Other providers have also performed internal examinations and discovered substantial pain within my pelvic floor muscles.

For the first time, I felt validated because these examinations identified actual physical sources of my pain. Throughout my treatment with the pelvic floor therapist, I was repeatedly told that my symptoms were essentially "all in my head." However, subsequent evaluations have demonstrated that I do, in fact, have significant pain and dysfunction that can be reproduced during examination.

I am now working with new providers who have recommended a different pelvic floor physical therapist, and I am hopeful that I will finally receive treatment that is more appropriate for my condition. Looking back, I still question whether the treatment I received was standard pelvic floor therapy, as the repeated Q-tip stimulation seemed to be the primary intervention despite causing worsening symptoms and providing no meaningful improvement.

Every time women make posts here, we are met with instant downvotes and questioning of our experiences. If any post gains traction, the post is met with waves of incels commenting and being vile.

When these men make bad-faith arguments here, their comment is removed, but the user is not banned, allowing the user to continue commenting and instigating women.

I'm so tired of it.

It’s a really sad situation, but I’ve worked at a daycare for 8 years now and I’ve known his family for 6 years now. About 4 years ago his wife developed breast cancer just after the pandemic and then became pregnant. She chose to keep the baby which also meant that she couldn’t do chemotherapy. Thus his son was born, but the cancer had then spread to her brain and she died when the baby was only a month old. I’ve been helping the dad out and honestly I feel like his son is almost my son. Now his son is three and still goes to our daycare and his 7 year old daughter loves me, as I to them. I keep my distance though and stay professional, but then a few months ago he started texting me out of the blue talking about his family dynamics and personal stuff. I saw it coming, sure enough he asked me out to dinner. I’m glad he’s trying to move on and wants to date, just don’t date your babysitter!

I feel weird about it. He’s a great guy and great dad but I work at the daycare his son goes to and also still want to help with the children. I feel bad for them, I said I didn’t want to be romantically involved and now he’s awkward towards me with short answers with periods at the end. I don’t want this to ruin the relationship I have with the children, but I think it ultimately might.

My coworkers keep joking that if he dates me he doesn’t have to pay for babysitting anymore.
Stop being weird and let things go back to normal!

Edit: he’s 37 and I’m 33. Not too weird, age wise

Genuinely curious where people are meeting, connecting, and exchanging ideas these days. It's great to have a group of women in your life, especially if you are 4b or not dating!

I want to start this off by making it very clear that I am not asking for medical advice. I have already discussed it with my doctor. I know everyone’s body is different and everyone will experience different symptoms, etc. I am only looking for personal experiences.

I started taking the pill when I was 17 to help with acne and really heavy periods. Several years ago(idk how many) I started skipping the placebo week so I wouldn’t have a period at all. Long story short, my body has been making me seriously consider going off of it all together. I would love to hear other women’s experiences of what they went through (good and bad) getting off the pill after 10 or more years.

My biggest concerns with getting off it is that my acne will come back with a vengeance and gaining weight, as I’ve recently lost a significant amount and I don’t want to go backwards there.

I’m an 18 year old girl who has always wanted male validation. I never got any type of attention from boys in school. Never had a boyfriend till this day. I started going on websites like chatspin and dirty roulette to masturbate with strangers. For the first time in my life i felt wanted and desired. I started doing it everyday and it became an addiction. I would show my face too which i knew was very dangerous but i still did it. One day i decided I’m not going to go on those sites anymore. But i feel like i replaced it by downloading hinge. I found this guy in my city and he is really attractive and was sweet to me. We decided to be fwb. We hooked up thrice till now and it was fun at first but the last time it left me with this uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach. He only wants sex. But is that the only thing I want? I think maybe I want love. But if i leave him i think I’ll fall back into my bad habits. I don’t know what to do

Hello,

I was doing an at home hair treatment and thought it was a good idea to put biotin oil mixed in with omegah 3. For inflammation purposes…. Idk what got into me. I left it for less than an hour.

Now my hair smells like fishhhhhh. I washed my hair twice and after did a vinegar wash to help it hit it’s not working.

Now I smell like fish and vinegar.

Can anyone help me please. :(

Doesn’t help that I’m female and people looking at me crazy cuz I smell like fish but it’s my scalp :(

I’m just so emotionally drained. We woke up on Mother’s Day and I asked what he had planned. Nothing. He ended up going grocery shopping and making me brunch. I had no problem with the contents of the day. But I was upset that he wasn’t even going to do anything if I hadn’t brought it up. We have a 13 year old who is his, but I do so much more for her than he does. This was the first year I actually felt I deserved Mother’s Day.

I tried to talk to him about it last night and his response was “what did you want, a parade?” And when I tried to explain that, no, I just wanted him to think about it in advance he goes “well this is how I’ve always lived my life, I dont think about things ahead of time.”

I’m just so tired.

I'm a 25F and I honestly feel like I'm losing my mind. Yesterday I had a massive breakdown and ended up in the ER because I kept fainting. They did a cardiac ultrasound and found an underlying heart issue that's dropping my circulation, which explains why I've been fainting and experiencing this insane, blind physical panic.

However I’m mostly worried about my job. The environment at my company is incredibly toxic and competitive, and people can get really vicious. On top of that, I’m currently in the middle of a high-stakes program at work that basically dictates my entire future and my chances of pivoting into the role I actually want. I am terrified that if I take even two days off, I’ll fall behind, lose my edge, and get branded as "unreliable." And If I say something to my boss it could affect task distribution and I’ll get sidelined.

I feel so trapped. My brain is telling me that taking care of a literal medical emergency is going to ruin my career goals. Has anyone else gone through a health crisis during a make-or-break moment at work? Should I tell my boss about this?

I (31F) have been dating my boyfriend (37M) for several months now, we have known each other for a decade and overall he is honestly very kind, emotionally attentive, communicative, affectionate, and good to me. The issue is his dog, and I genuinely cannot tell if I’m overthinking this or if we may have a real compatibility issue.

For context, he has been single and celibate for around 4 years, and during that time it’s basically just been him and his dog. His dog is extremely integrated into his life and involved in almost everything.

He talks to the dog constantly, includes him in nearly every activity, wants him around during cuddling/movie time, brings him into the bedroom during the day, wants him involved in trips/vacations, etc. For example, he recently mentioned wanting us to go skating together, which I thought sounded really cute, and then immediately mentioned how excited he was to see whether the dog would enjoy it too. Even our upcoming trip to a different state includes the dog.

Now here’s where I’m trying to be self-aware:
I know part of this is probably my own emotional baggage. I grew up around chaotic dog situations in my family and I think I’ve started associating “dogs everywhere all the time” with stress, overstimulation, lack of peace, and lack of intimacy. I also recently went through a broken engagement and some family pain, so emotionally I’m probably extra sensitive to wanting closeness and “just us” moments in a relationship.

At the same time, I cannot tell if I’m becoming hyper-fixated on the dog issue or if I have legitimate ground to feel emotionally crowded by it.

I don’t hate dogs. I actually used to LOVE dogs and animals. But lately I almost internally dread the constant presence of one in every intimate or romantic moment and I’m worried it’s making me resentful.

The confusing part is that my boyfriend himself is genuinely caring and compromise-oriented. We’ve actually talked about some of this calmly and respectfully. He isn’t dismissive or cruel about it.

So I guess my questions are:

• Is this level of dog inclusion normal for dog owners?
• Would this bother other women too?
• Am I unfairly zooming in on this ?
• Or does this sound like a legitimate lifestyle/intimacy compatibility issue long term?

in the past week, there was a group of shirtless men at the royals vs cards game that took over the baseball news. the owner paid for the shirtless men to return the next game. now there’s been a group of others doing same thing at o’s vs rays game.

unpopular opinion, I find this so gross and ugly. if women can’t legally walk around topless at a stadium without risking public indecency charges or harassment, why are shirtless men somehow considered part of the entertainment? I paid to watch baseball, not sit in a crowd of half naked fans. absolutely no reason to have your clothes off. idk. does anyone else feel this way?

I spent years being made fun of for having thin lips. People pointed it out constantly in photos, in jokes, and in comments that were supposed to be harmless. It made me deeply insecure for a long time.

So eventually, I got lip filler. And honestly, I love it. I feel prettier, more confident, and more like myself when I look in the mirror.

But what’s wild is that the criticism didn’t stop. It just changed. The same kind of people who mocked thin lips suddenly had opinions about filler too. Apparently you’re supposed to naturally fit every beauty standard, but if you choose to change something that makes you happier, that’s fake or too much.

It really made me realize that as women, you can never fully win if you base your choices on other people’s approval. Someone will always have something to say.

I honestly think we should celebrate choice more. If someone loves their natural lips, amazing. If someone gets filler and feels more confident, also amazing. Beauty treatments are not moral failures. They are personal choices.

Lip filler did not ruin my face or my self worth. If anything, it helped heal a part of my confidence that years of comments chipped away at. And I am tired of pretending women have to stay insecure to be considered authentic.

I have been in touch with ex and just talked with him after break up. And I started asking about our relationship. I said that „when we go out and eat together, I felt like we becoming closer because you take Care of me and feed me“. And he end up saying „not in your case, if you were in my taste it probably would work, but you’re not. I told you I like skinny girls, but you kept eating in front of me to make me mad“. I told him „that sad, I never pretended to like someone to have sex“, and he replied „i didn’t try hard, I told you several times, that’s why we broke up“.
He acted nice, we spent a lot of together, watched anime, go out to eat, cinema, park. He would bought me things if I asked on a way to my home. Bought me flowers.
I thought he likes me at least a little bit. But I realised he just loser that never had girlfriend before, and he was mad that he can’t get skinny girls, and that he should settle to me. I didn’t realise that he doesn’t even like me, he hated me.
Now, I’m not sure, how I should understand someone like me. And my overthinking become even more bad. I always read people through their little face emotions and from the way they talk etc. and when I felt some coldness I used to overthink. And tried to convince myself to not overthink. Now after situations with my boyfriend I will assume that all my overthinking is true, and that some people probably hate me like he did. Especially all guys. I am not sure how I suppose to interact with others now.

saw a guy from OLD for several dates. We were at 6 I think. And we did a lot more physical touching and kissing this last time I saw him. Which was great but I tried asking him if he wanted to do something again and his reply was why not. He just continued with this kissing. And usually we were excited to make our next date plan pretty quick. Maybe I got used to that. Before this our pacing was really slow too and he just jumped on the chance to kiss and touch.

I go home and start overthinking. He texted me about something. The next day we still go back and forth. This is where I think I messed up. I asked him what his dating goals are. Because we didn’t discuss it and I said I just wanna know where things are with us. I guess because we didn’t discuss exclusivity. And he said he’s pretty seriously dating and stuff. Told me we can discuss it so I asked if we could in person? I told him I don’t feel comfortable being intimate in a undefined situation

And he said sure. So I asked when he’s free or like what he’d prefer to do. And it’s been hard to hear back. I used to hear from him idk like 2 or so times a day? And now it’s less. I’m scared I messed it up because I got insecure. He seemed open to talk about things but maybe he changed his mind. Also he recently told me he has a work trip coming up and I’m going to be working at a summer camp. And I think that distance also led me to want clarity. We never talked about that stuff before

So I've been super stressed out for awhile. My job sucks and I've been looking for a new one so my husband a few months ago suggested I take a trip with some girl friends. I texted some old friends. A couple people couldn't go, a couple didn't even respond to me. Long story short I never got to take a trip.

We moved out of state 4 years ago. In the last couple years I have finally made some friends. I go to book club. I go to craft club. I invite women over pretty often. Occasionally my family gets invited somewhere but never just me. I feel like I have friendly friends here but idk.

My husband is a homebody and never even tried to make friends. I was so happy when another guy started inviting him to weekly game nights, genuinely, as he needs friends and didn't really have any.

This week his old friends invited him on a trip to an away game of their college football team in November. I'm so happy he's going. He's a stay at home dad and deserves a break.

But tonight I'm a little jealous. I have tried really hard to make friends and.. I have nothing but surface level friendships. He didn't even try to make friends! And he gets a trip that I so desperately want and weekly game nights with a best friend.

And I feel bad I'm jealous of my husband because he deserves wonderful friends and to go on fun trips.

I just feel like.. is something wrong with me? I can't find a new job. I can't make a real friend apparently. I have a history of people who I thought I was really good friends with but then it turned out that I cared a lot more about the friendship than they did. Literally once my best friend moved to another state, came back home to visit once, had a baby shower with literally at least 50 people and didn't invite me. At that time I thought we were going to be those kind of friends where maybe we don't talk everyday but care about each other a lot. But clearly... Not. That was a few years ago. Most of the time I don't really think about that but yeah I'm thinking about it tonight. Because I'm thinking about how apparently there's something wrong with me and I can't make a real friend.

Hey yall, I’m sleeping with a man who has a small penis and I’m wondering what condoms to introduce that aren’t insulting. My normal ones just… didn’t cut it lol. Are there any condoms that could also increase sensation for me?

Thanks in advance! ❤️

I had a weird incident a couple months ago at uni. I was studying for exams, in a study-area with at least 70% unoccupied tables. An unnerving guy comes over and sits across from me at my table, without asking or saying anything, which immediately creeped me out (because all the tables around us were empty).

He didn’t say anything and would just stare and look angry, so I got up and went to a different table. He left the area entirely, just got up from the table and left (but came back a couple times later, not to sit or study but just circling the general area and looking at me).

It was weird and I was creeped out but I thought it would be a one off.

Almost every time I’ve gone to campus, he’s found me. I guess he could just be there a lot, but it’s weird he keeps running into me when there are so many sections and I try to switch up where I go because of stuff like this. He won’t sit next to me but he’ll stare and circle the area, like I’ll keep seeing him looping around a spot or area I’m situated in. I think he’s followed me out of the library before.

Today he found me again and came up to me to ask me to watch his bag for a minute - it’s just weird to me and I feel like he’s doing it on purpose, because if I made a girl so uncomfortable she switched tables, I would be embarrassed and mortified if I saw her again, I wouldn’t continue to pester her.

Anyways, he asks if I can watch his bag and I don’t even think I answered or just said sure because I was nervous, then I realized well I need to leave for the bus soon anyways, so I start getting up to leave, and then 30 seconds later he comes back to angrily or indignantly grab his bag, like he was offended I’d leave or be weirded out by him.

Is it just a weird coincidence or am I overthinking this? Once or twice, maybe even three times are one thing, but this has happened about half a dozen times in the part couple months :/