r/TryingForABaby

18 months TTC with a spiritual husband??

Hi guys - My partner (41M) and I (35F) have been trying for over a year and a half now.

We were proactive about testings so at this point I have done blood tests, HSG, ultrasounds, egg counts and a hysteroscopy. All came back fine except for 2 fibroids, one in between the muscles 2.2cm and the other one is outside my uterus. Doctor said both shouldn’t affect my chances. My fertility doctor has put me on letrozole for the last 4 months and progesterone this cycle. No luck.

Every month I get peaks from my OPK, my BBT is on the lower side (35.5) but I do get a rise of roughly 0.3-0.4. We will usually BD the day before, day of and after the O day.

IVF is in the conversation but we are waiting for government funding which might not be available until early 2027. What really damaging our relationship is my mental health and my husband “spiritual” approach towards TTC. He doesn’t like the science approach and believe things will happen when we let it go. He believes my constant testings and tempting is what causing the issue. My coping mechanism with stress is always trying to be proactive and try “harder”, which is the opposite of what he thinks.

At this point, we have discussed and came up with a plan where I just focus on being healthy, no testing no nothing, and see if we can get pregnant by the end of the year - if not, we will pursue IVF. Does this sound like a good idea???

At the same time, my anxiety is also through the roof thinking what if I have issues like silent endo, and instead of using the rest of the year to treat it. I just wasted a year by doing nothing and possibly give me a lower success rate in IVF at the age of 37.

This internal battle is eating me up and make me feel depressed whenever I think of trying.

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u/Affectionate-Shoe-59 — 4 hours ago

Was referred to a fertility clinic because of my blood work, Is it mandatory for my husband to be part of this right now? What is the process like?

Hi all I just got referred to a fertility clinic due to my blood work and my hormones being quite off. When I talk to the fertility clinic they were immediately talking about bringing my husband in as well for all the testing. Honestly it kind of freaked me out a little bit. I wasn't feeling it before but now I am starting to feel overwhelmed.

Is this mandatory? Could I not just get all my testing done first. In all likelihood right now, I'm probably the issue as demonstrated by my blood work and some of the other health issues I am going through.

Honestly I don't want to put him through this as well yet. Not until we need to. He has been incredibly supportive throughout all my health issues so far but this step, I don't really know how to explain it but I am just reluctant to have him come in to do all the testing just yet not until We absolutely have to. I am in Canada Ontario I'm sure that will make a difference. Does anybody have experience with this?

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u/sanguinemylove — 8 hours ago

Daily Chat April 20

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

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u/AutoModerator — 19 hours ago

What CoQ10 does everyone take?

I’m a 30 year old woman. My partner is a 37 year old man. We’re in the process of TTC and I’m looking for us both to take CoQ10. What is everyone and their partners taking? Also for women, what is the dosage? I’m seeing dosage numbers all over the place for women with some places stating 600mg but for men it seems to be 200mg. I see most pills are only 100mg and like…are women taking literally 6 pills a day?!? Has anyone had any side effects? I want a brand that is reputable and third party certified. This feels complicated and it shouldn’t! Ideally the supplements would be affordable as well but man some of these bottles seem price-y and with the difference in dosage between men and women it seems kind of impossible to share a bottle with my partner anyways.

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u/NikkiMouse444 — 15 hours ago

It feels wrong to try, but we're running out of time.

My husband (35) and I (35) were on the fence about having kids for a while until 8ish months ago when we both decided we did want to have a kid. We've had a very rough few years mentally and financially but we were finally getting everything back together and our future was looking brighter. That clock is ticking on our age and we decided with our new jobs and things looking better we should go for it before we get too old. I went off BC in November but we didn't really start TTC until January. In December we moved into a two bedroom apartment (which we wanted even before coming to the baby decision).

Then my life blew up again. Long story short my mother (59) was in another state and facing homelessness in January. To keep her out of a shelter we had her move into the spare bedroom. The plan was to get her back on her feet, help her get a job and have her move into a small studio apartment close to us. She would be with us for a few months maybe half a year. I was so sure that she would get her back on her feet again.

Between the distance and her alcohol abuse I was blindsided about her health when she moved in. Symptoms I thought were from drinking were actually symptoms from years of mini strokes. She doesn't even drink much at all anymore. Her list of medical issues gets longer every doctor visit. There are a lot of those. The strokes have caused dementia, she is not capable of holding a job and should never live alone again. All of a sudden we are caretakers of a parent. She has no retirement, no assets, and is rightfully scared. We're all so sad and scared.

I'm starting to feel like TTC is a stupid thing to do, that it would be selfish and not good for anyone involved. There is so much stress going on, trying to figure out how we would care for my mother and a newborn seems like a mountain of a task. Either of those alone feels so incredibly hard. Yet I feel like either we try now to have a baby or we don't have a baby at all. We personally do not want to have a baby in our 40s, (no judgement for those that want that! We just personally don't want to spend our later years raising kids).

This cycle I don't think I even ovulated (no discernable BBT spike and low LH peak) and I wonder if all of this stress is also going to make it harder to conceive.

I'm sad and falling apart, and to take my husband's words from last night, 'I feel like life's punching bag.'

I have a wonderful husband and my mother was a very good mother and I love her very much. She is mostly able to take care of herself still, but just needs some help making sure she keeps up hygiene/health standards. I just didn't think any of us would be in this predicament so young.

Tldr: Husband and I are trying to conceive in our mid 30s, but just ended up as caretakers for my mother who has vascular dementia. We do have limited resources. Feeling guilty.

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u/AdvanceDifficult8513 — 13 hours ago

Has anyone had their fertility treatments fully covered by insurance in the US?

I am thinking IUI or IVF, hormonal therapy etc…

Being fully covered without it being too much of a headache. I am so confused between stories of excluded precondition, needed to prove complete infertility, employer exemption and coverage. Anyone has a United State positive story to share?

Just curious…

My spouse and I have been trying for two years and we are considering changing country /leaving the US but this seems drastic and I have a hard believing it’s point blank impossible to have treatment covered by insurance. We could use a success story.

Maybe a different question but wondering if people have relocated for fertility treatment. Sometimes it seams like it would make more sense.

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

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u/Objective_Cup_5164 — 13 hours ago

My increasingly bad chronic pain is stressing out my husband and making it harder for him to finish

The long story short is that I have chronic migraines. About 6 months prior to trying to conceive, I finally found a method that reduced my migraine days down from at least 15 per month to one or two. It was amazing. Unfortunately the medications that I take (emgality and topamax) are either not studied enough to be recommended during pregnancy or proven to be harmful during pregnancy so I had to stop taking them prior to TTC. Since then, we've been trying for 10 cycles and my migraines have gotten increasingly worse. I've had to two episodes of status migrainosus that required emergency medical care.

My husband is incredibly empathetic and kindhearted and seeing me in pain is causing him a lot of distress. This has put a lot of pressure on TTC because the sooner we get pregnant and deliver a baby, the sooner I can receive better treatment for my pain. The past few months and after another trip to the ER, my husband has had several instances of not being able to finish during sex. We've tried mutual masturbation to get him close enough so I can hop on at the right time but he hasn't been able to finish this way either.

I've seen posts that recommend not tracking or not trying and just seeing what happens but this just doesn't seem feasible for us because if we completely miss the fertile window, that's another month of pain for me. We don't have sex super often so it would definitely be possible to miss the entire window if we tried to keep it spontaneous.

I don't necessarily know what I'm asking for. Just maybe to know if there are other people that have had this kind of pressure and how they've dealt with it. We're both getting so stressed out that I'm thinking IUI or IVF might be better than continuing this way.

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u/Successful-Wish6205 — 7 hours ago

Stopping pregnancy prevention

Posting as anon because I don't know if I know people in here... lol also unsure if this is toooooo detailed lol

My husband and I have been married just about 6 years, and he has never... done the deed in me. Lol withdrawal method. We are almost 25 years old, and the topic of starting a family has been coming up more. I am very anxious about letting him stay in, but I am wanting to be more connected and more letting God have more of a hand in when we have kids. Obviously if God wanted us to have kids earlier, something likely would have happened. We want a family, and he would now if I wasn't hesitant, just out of my own personal fears.

This last year, all of 2025 was so awful for me anxiety wise as an aftermath of the stomach flu. I lost my appetite completely and ended up losing 60lbs since January 2025 due to it. I am finally getting better but also recovering after like 7 months of daily use of tylenol and advil and the withdrawals from it have been awful.

Since starting to feel a bit better, my sex drive has been returning, also doesnt help I am ovulating this week, so I think things are just heightened, but part of me is almost wanting to stop preventing and not doing withdrawal anymore as we are okay with a family starting.

I just feel conflicted because I have gone through so much and am still recovering, but the idea of a family has been so heavy on my heart the last few days.

What would you do?

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u/szjanz — 2 hours ago

I’m worried I don’t ovulate

This is our second month ttc. The first month I was going solely off of what my app had “assumed” for my ovulation, and I took LH strip tests during those days… they were negative, but we tried anyways.

So this month, I thought I would start testing my ovulation starting on the day my period ended to see when my ovulation actually is, because clearly my app had been wrong. I’m on cycle day 14 and I still haven’t gotten a positive test. I’m just worried that something is wrong with me.The darkest one i have ever gotten was CD 9. And the pre mom app said it was ”.45”

I know there’s still time, and I could be someone who ovulates late, but I’m just worried.

Also, If I never get a positive test, is showing my test strips to my Dr enough of a worry to them to test me to see if something is wrong?

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u/Physical-Macaroon667 — 15 hours ago
▲ 0 r/TryingForABaby+1 crossposts

New to trying!

My(29 f) and husband (28 m) just came back from our honeymoon and we are really excited to start building our family (: I stopped taking birth control a week ago ago and have been taking prenatal vitamins for two weeks now. There is honestly so much information online about what ovulation trackers are out there, but wondering if I could get some true honest advice on what’s worked for you all trying to conceive?

I have been on birth control forever and worried about how long that takes to leave my system so I start getting periods again. I am a little nervous since it’s been years (continuous birth control) since I have had a cycle and have no idea how to actually track ovulation due to it. Any advice from fellow ladies trying would be so beyond amazing. It’s honestly daunting trying to figure out the right things to buy or prioritize

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u/theguppypuppy — 6 hours ago

Low Folic Acid Levels

I have been planning to get pregnant, it's going to be my first one. I met with my gynaecologist today to discuss about vitamins and getting my levels corrected. Although she prescribed me Vitamin D3, Iron tablets and methyl folate (1mg) two months back. My folic acid levels are at 2.1, which is deficient. I asked her about upping the dose to 5mg till it's corrected and then maybe going back to a maintenance dose.

What's bothering me is that l've read a lot of studies that highlight the importance of folic acid and its role in preventing neural tube defects but she just brushed it off saying that it's not that important and in 40 years of her career she has never asked anybody to check folic acid levels, she always gives everyone 1mg and it's fine. I tried asking her about choline as well but that went unanswered. I don't know if what she is saying is right, can someone tell me if what she said is right or should I look for another gynaecologist?

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u/peraltaswifey — 11 hours ago

Delusional hope?

Not sure if this is the right tag or group but here I was told to give this group a shot.

I have been TTC much longer than I ever thought I would have to. 10 years in my relationship and I really thought we would have a baby by now.

I used to be able to put it on the back burner but I just can’t anymore! I feel so close, baby is CONSTANTLY on my mind! I don’t know how to explain it or if anyone else understands. It’s not baby fever as I understand it baby fever comes and goes this isn’t going! I used to feel so upset and get so down every time I got a negative test, and I still do get disappointed. But I feel like I am going to have my positive so soon.

I guess I just am really hoping that it is more of an intuitive feeling than a delusional one. Either way, I won’t know for at least a week or two.

Has anyone felt this way? Did anything come of it? I’m weirdly at peace and elated. It’s kinda out of character but I have no symptoms or reason to believe this will actually be the time it works.

How do we not go insane while trying?!

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u/reignbowbish — 8 hours ago

Ovidrel cost help – any lower self-pay options?

Hi everyone,

I need to pay out of pocket for Ovidrel since it’s not covered by my insurance, and I’m trying to find the most affordable option. SandRx quoted me around $180, and I also checked with Freedom Fertility, which seems a bit lower, but still not cheap.

Since we may need to go through multiple cycles, I’m trying to manage costs as much as possible. I was wondering if anyone here has experience with other pharmacies that offer better pricing for self-pay patients, or if there are any programs, discounts, or tips that helped you reduce the cost.

I’ve heard that some specialty pharmacies or mail-order options might be cheaper, but I’m not sure which ones are reliable or commonly used for fertility medications like Ovidrel.

Any recommendations, experiences, or suggestions would really help. Even approximate pricing from different pharmacies would be useful so I can compare.

Thanks so much in advance!

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u/RareEarth37 — 1 hour ago

Anyone with an abnormal testicular temperature?

So long story short after some years knowing that my brother cannot normally conceive without using ivf I came to know from my own experience that I have the same problem, aka oligospermia after trying with my oartner for more than a year. Too few sperm cells and those few usually are abnormal.

I researched and I read that normal testicular temperature to ensure proper sperm production and maturation should ideally be around 34°c. Thats where I reminded myself of how hot my body usually feels and how easily I get overheated especially after even some light cardiovascular activity, I always used to suffer the hot weather. So i took a thermometer and measured my scrotal temperature and indeed it was 35-36 °c!

I promptly asked my brother to go schedule a visit and to ask the doc to measure his temp and he had the same result, 36.

My question now is, has anyone else had this problem that seems to be mostly genetic? And if so did you find a solution for it? The doc briefly mentioned to my brother that there are some specific instruments to keep the testes less hot than the body but he says he was too vague and doesnt actually know what to do. Any ideas?

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u/ChillGuySage — 7 hours ago

TTC for 7 months, 1 early MC, everyone around us getting pregnant...

Hey all

This is more of a rant, but I need some advice or success stories, I dont know anymore. My wife and I have been trying to conceive now for 7 months. In Feb we had a MC at 6 weeks which turned out to be a blighted ovum. She had a RPL workup done and everything is normal. Her OB told us everything seems to be working, but it's just bad biological luck. We processed the MC, took a while and started trying again. We are out of the running this month, but ANOTHER woman at my wife's job announced she is pregnant which now makes 4 total. It's destroying my wife - on top of that, her sister and cousin both have babies, and our close friends have 2 young kids. We are starting to avoid gatherings, muting group chats with the family because it's just too hard to see everyone sending baby pics, doing things with the kids etc.

How do we get through this? I'm trying so hard to stay optimistic, but it's exhausting. My wife also works with kids as a BCBA, so she is in the thick of it every day. I honestly don't know what else to do - we take perelel supplement packs, we have a kegg, we track ovulation, time sex, use pre-seed. I did an at home Yo! sperm analysis and everything seemed normal? My urologist told me I should wait until 1 year to do anything.

How do you handle watching other people get pregnant, and avoiding becoming depressed over it. Obviously, we are happy for our friends and family who have kids - we aren't outwardly bitter or anything, but it does become hard seeing announcement after announcement and we are just stuck in limbo. We try our best to stay busy, keep things planned, etc but at the end of the day - we know the reality of our situation, and it sucks.

Any input would be amazing

Thanks

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u/zombiefatcher — 11 hours ago

Ovulating timing question

ok so I’ve been doing 2.5mg letrozole for “unexplained irregular menstration” (not PCOS), and my ovulation tests have been showing an increase leading up to ovulation. like they’ll be light light light slightly darker slightly darker dark. so I had a few days notice leading up to ovulation. and I was able to get pregnant but unfortunately had a miscarriage last cucle so this month I took 5mg letrozole instead.

I was ovulating cycle day 21 on 2.5mg and so wasn’t expecting to ovulate so soon this cycle. got a positive test yesterday cycle day 14, but with no warning (test the day before was completely negative, very light line). I’m really worried about having missed the window this time since before I generally knew to have sex in the two days leading up to positive ovulation test. I was also only testing once every 24 hours so im worried the test could have been positive even earlier in the day and I might have missed even more crucial hours.

today I have very stretchy cervical mucus (yesterday didn’t have any that I noticed) and slight cramping. i did have sex last night around 11pm, test was positive around 4pm yesterday. I always assumed the egg was viable 12-24 hours but several medical sites told me today that the egg has the highest chance of being fertilized within 4 hours of release?!

HOW do I know how to aim for 4 hours from release? every step of this process feels like it has an accuracy rate of “plus or minus about 12 hours” so if multiple steps are off by 12 hours from what I think, I am just afraid I’ve totally missed the window and need to be far more accurate apparently on 5mg vs 2.5mg of letrozole. the higher dose also gave me HORRIBLE migraines for over a week so I’m dreading having to take it again.

are there ways to more accurately predict EXACTLY when egg is released (or at least closer than “12-36 hours”)? should I be testing multiple times a day? does the cervical mucus changing help narrow that window down? help!

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u/MysteriousTreacle990 — 9 hours ago

IUI Side Effects

Me 34 M and Wife 31F, have been trying naturally since last 12-14 months, we got ourselves tested first time in Apr 2025 where my wife's reports were normal but my progressive motility was 31% (WHO = 32%) rest all were normal; I started to have FertilPro Men with L Carnitine and improved diet (both wife and myself) since last 6 months; We got tested again in March 2026. This time around - even though my wife's results are still normal - my progressive motility came to be around 22% which was shocking (my sperm count increased to 66million from 22million in 2025 though):

  1. Could this be because I abstained for 5 days before submitting my sperm sample when i got tested this time around?

  2. If reports are to be believed, should we go for IUI, I am just concerned about side effects of the injectible hormones and Letrozole which my wife will be having (mid- to long term side effects); If yes, what are the side effects which can happen to my wife or the baby? Should we give each other more time? Our mental health has been suffering a bit because both of us want a baby badly since an year now. Please ask me any other questions you want and advice. Thanks

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u/Alarmed-Economics-74 — 11 hours ago

I got my period at 4am

4th cycle of trying and I got my period at 4am like the title says

It really sucked cause I have been peeing a lot which I thought was a symptom then I looked down and yea

Idk I'm just really at a lost of feelings and words the past couple of cycles I did the LH tests I wasn't constant and never caught a peak only a faint line I've pretty much just been going off my period app to know what days

I was taking prenatals the 1st 2nd and halfway through the 3rd month but I couldn't do it anymore it was just a constant reminder

I have friends and family who literally get pregnant on accident or first try and this is my 4th time intentionally trying and failing before this we were having sex unprotected for like a year he didn't finish all the time in me the previous year but idk it feels like it shouldve happened by now

For context I'm 23 and he's 27 my cycle days are 25-27 with a couple of cycles 24 or 28 days if anyone has any advice I just feel really shitty for lack of a better word kinda like giving up hope even if it's only been a short time

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u/SquashAltruistic8447 — 8 hours ago

Best time of month to test progesterone?

We’ve been trying since December and no luck other than a chemical pregnancy in January. I use CBAD, track CM, and just got an Oura ring about a week ago to help track temps (I know not as good as actually tracking BBT but I tried that and it just didn’t work, I never remembered before I got up out of bed). I also just turned 33, not sure if that is relevant.

I know it’s only been ~5 months but I don’t want to speak with a doctor yet. This month when I did my CBAD I had two circles on CD8 and CD9, then suddenly a solid smiley in CD10 (way earlier than ever, I’m pretty consistently getting a solid around CD13). I also started wearing Oura ring on CD9 and had a rise in temp on CD11-13, now it’s fallen two days in a row. I just don’t know what’s going on.

All this to say, I haven’t been able to stay away from Dr. Google 😅 now I’m thinking I have a progesterone problem. A lab near me allows you to schedule and order your own tests/labs and there’s one called Women’s Hormone Panel that will test estrogen, FSH, LH, progesterone, and DHEA Sulfate. My question is, when is the best time to take these labs? I know progesterone fluctuates throughout your cycle so I don’t know when to test and make the most of my $150 🥲

I’m currently CD15, sitting on my second day of temps falling and no idea when my period will come since I’ve never ovulated so early.

This is stressful. 🥲

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u/Christineeee — 13 hours ago

feeling completely heartbroken and hopeless

my lifelong dream has been to be a mother and i’m scared it’s not going to be possible for me. my husband and i have been ttc for a while but with no luck, and i’m certain it’s because i most likely have adenomyosis (endometrial tissue growing in the muscular walls of the uterus).

my symptoms started as a teenager. bleeding through a tampon in under an hour, excruciating period cramps, large clots, iron deficient anemia, etc… i was put on birth control to manage it and was on that for about 7-9 years.

i’ve been off the birth control for the last 2 years and every period i have just gets worse and worse, and we’ve had no luck conceiving (although to be transparent, we haven’t been trying that whole time). i lost my job back in november and was actually relieved by that because my periods have gotten to the point where i physically cannot get out of bed for 3 days a month, and i wouldn’t have had enough vacation time to take for that. every doctor i have seen about this tells me either that it’s normal or to “just monitor” my symptoms.

i finally took my husband with me to my most recent OB appointment to help me advocate for myself because after 10 years of doctors basically refusing to look into it, i wanted answers. my doctor ordered an ultrasound, and it showed signs of adenomyosis. but my doctor told me my ultrasound looked normal. i called her out on that and she basically was like “yeah it could be adenomyosis but it also could be normal. take some NSAIDs for your pain.” i’ve been telling her for years that NSAIDs don’t work!! i feel so gaslit, unheard, and disheartened.

i found a specialist and have an appointment scheduled but it’s not for another month, and from all of my research, my odds don’t look good for conceiving. i feel like my whole world is crashing down and i feel incredibly alone as no one in my personal life has experienced this or anything similar. it seems like everyone around me is just getting pregnant on the first try while i’m stuck wondering if i’ll ever even be able to at least once.

anyway, sorry for the long post. i am just so depressed at what’s happening and needed a safe place to get this off my chest.

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u/calicocowcat — 8 hours ago