My increasingly bad chronic pain is stressing out my husband and making it harder for him to finish
The long story short is that I have chronic migraines. About 6 months prior to trying to conceive, I finally found a method that reduced my migraine days down from at least 15 per month to one or two. It was amazing. Unfortunately the medications that I take (emgality and topamax) are either not studied enough to be recommended during pregnancy or proven to be harmful during pregnancy so I had to stop taking them prior to TTC. Since then, we've been trying for 10 cycles and my migraines have gotten increasingly worse. I've had to two episodes of status migrainosus that required emergency medical care.
My husband is incredibly empathetic and kindhearted and seeing me in pain is causing him a lot of distress. This has put a lot of pressure on TTC because the sooner we get pregnant and deliver a baby, the sooner I can receive better treatment for my pain. The past few months and after another trip to the ER, my husband has had several instances of not being able to finish during sex. We've tried mutual masturbation to get him close enough so I can hop on at the right time but he hasn't been able to finish this way either.
I've seen posts that recommend not tracking or not trying and just seeing what happens but this just doesn't seem feasible for us because if we completely miss the fertile window, that's another month of pain for me. We don't have sex super often so it would definitely be possible to miss the entire window if we tried to keep it spontaneous.
I don't necessarily know what I'm asking for. Just maybe to know if there are other people that have had this kind of pressure and how they've dealt with it. We're both getting so stressed out that I'm thinking IUI or IVF might be better than continuing this way.