r/PsychedelicTherapy

I’m feeling really stuck and could use some grounded perspectives.

I’ve had a long interest in altered states, but only began exploring them in the last few years. After a PSIP cannabis-assisted session about 3 years ago, I later experienced a spontaneous spiritual awakening that I wasn’t prepared for.

Since then I’ve struggled with integration. I often feel disconnected from myself, sometimes dissociate, and swing between numbness and overwhelm.... most likely becaue I am more aware of it. I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and emotional regulation (especially anger) has become challenging. Simulants make me feel like a more efficient hamster in a wheel.

I feel a strong pull to understand myself beneath learned patterns, but I also feel unsteady in how to integrate what comes up. Psychedelic experiences sometimes help in the moment, but I struggle significantly afterward when I return to daily life.

Therapy has been mixed, and trust (in others and my own thoughts) has become a real issue. I’ve tried approaches like IFS and schema therapy, but they’ve left me feeling more uncertain rather than clearer.

Right now I’m stuck between two options:

• starting SSRIs (which I’ve been prescribed but feel apprehensive about)
• continuing to explore psychedelics, which I feel drawn to but struggle to integrate

One direction feels like it blocking, the other feels like depth and meaning, but I don’t feel confident in my ability to judge what’s right for me right now.

If anyone has been through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing what helped you find stability or clarity.

Have been in this numb state for nearly 2 decades. Most things dont help me to get me in touch with my soul/emotions.

When i trip i experience deep catharsis states - feel afterwars extremely grounded and emotionally open but later on tripping days i fall back into numbness or the next day.

Is the non specific crying helpful and make me able to feel more open longterm at some point because i discharged stuck emotional energy or am i on a wrong path?

I have no energy in all aspects to heal sober with different therapy modalities . Nothing really worked and im so hoping somehow this is maybe a good sign or maybe someone had similar experience with this numbness or someone has good opinion.

For info: i havent tripped in years but i have tripped within 1 year 5 times in 2020 and a few times therapeutically blinfoldee here and there and everytime the come up would be extremely uncomfortable bodyload and feeling emotionally discomofrt till it cracked and cryed/ „whaled“ for hours and then feel super light

Thank you

Please respond only if you want to help

Just out of an MDMA session

I want you all to know, brothers and sisters and all the other ones out there.

SLEEP IS THE GREATEST PSYCHEDELICS

(there you dream)

SLEEP IS THE GREATEST MEDICINE

SLEEP IS THE GREATEST TREATMENT

by design.

Embarked on our systems.

By all means let us all sleep.

(If anxiety allows).

Nothing else will make it for sleep. No medicine no psychedelics no buddy irl or on social media

LET US SLEEP

That’s all.

(Thank you Ursula Le Guin for the Word for World is Forest. They knew it all)

(WE CAN DO IT)

i've been getting treated for ADHD for the past 2 years now, and even though i'm glad to have medication to help reduce other symptoms, i still don't see any sort of improvement with getting things that i know fully well need to be done. Has anyone ever gone to a ibogaine treatment facility for similar reasons?

Hey everyone,

I’m 30 and this wasn’t my first time with psychedelics (last time was almost 10 years ago), but this was absolutely the first time I put this much prep into and using it therapeutically vs recreationally.

I have pretty severe cannabis use disorder and have been off it for 6 weeks. I also deal with social anxiety and struggle to be myself around people, even family.

I got really interested in psychedelics during those 6 weeks sober. I read everything I could find, especially the research on psilocybin for anxiety and substance issues. It felt like this could finally be the answer. I even tapered off my Zoloft (which I wanted to quit anyway because of horrible night sweats) so I could try it cleanly.

I took 22.5 mg psilocybin (powder in capsules) in the morning on a completely fasted stomach and washed it down with orange juice. I was alone with no sitter. I spent a lot of time setting up: cleaned my room thoroughly, added plants, put on calming music, burned incense, and even sage (which is very out of character for me — I’m not particularly spiritual, but it was recommended so I tried it). I wrote down clear intentions around healing my social anxiety and cannabis patterns, then tried hard to let go of expectations and fully surrender.

It came on and I tried to stay calm. I put on a blindfold and lay in bed. Eyes closed, I had pretty intense visuals — lots of moving colors and shapes. But then I got stuck in my head: “It’s daytime… am I really supposed to just lie here for 6+ hours?” So I decided to go outside instead.

I walked down to the river near my house. I felt tiny — literally like I was only 2 feet tall next to the trees and bushes. I was laughing out loud saying “I’m tiny” before catching myself so I wouldn’t weird anyone out (it was a quiet trail). The river felt powerful and roaring; being in nature helped in the moment.

I went back to my room, lay down, and started crying because it wasn’t the profound experience I’d built up in my mind. I kept thinking: “I bought all these plants to make my room a comfortable place to do this, spent weeks researching, and this is it?” While crying I also said something like, “Why do I need to do all this shit to feel better? Why do I feel like I need to take this stuff?!”

Still not enjoying it, I went back outside and rode my bike around for a while. When I finally got home, it was clear I had made it through the peak. I kept emphasizing “survived” in my head — it wasn’t terrifying or traumatic at all, just uncomfortable. I basically wanted off the ride the whole time.

I know some might say I didn’t surrender enough because I kept moving instead of staying still with the blindfold. I really tried to surrender at the beginning, but lying there made the restlessness worse. Moving felt like the only way to ride it out.

Takeaways right now:

It highlighted that I tend to run from my problems and that maybe I don’t actually need anything external to feel better — it’s all within me. That sounds nice in theory, but it’s a hard pill when I was hoping for a mystical “aha” that would cure my social anxiety and the constant pull toward 24/7 weed use.

Overall, the experience just wasn’t what I expected or hoped for. I still believe psychedelics have real potential to help the mental health crisis, but after this I’m not sure I could comfortably recommend them to someone else. It’s powerful stuff that lasts a long time.

I’m posting this mostly to get it out of my system and to see if anyone else has had a similar “underwhelming/uncomfortable survival-mode” session despite good prep and high hopes. I’d especially appreciate any advice on how to integrate this experience going forward — similar stories, insights, or gentle thoughts are also very welcome. All questions are welcome too.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

TL;DR: Are there resources to help curate a playlist for a psychedelic therapy session?

Details:

I'm in a Psilocybin Facilitator class (through University of Colorado) and we were told that for our final project, we are to facilitate a 'mock' psychedelic session.

The main difference is, we won't actually be using psychedelics. Instead, we are to curate a playlist of music that would accommodate the typical arch of a psilocybin session (but keep it to an hour). And also do all of the prep work and some integration work just like we would do with a client. Supposed to do this with a friend or similar.

I just feel totally lost with music selection! I know that the general guideline is to avoid music with lyrics and maybe even familiar/understandable. I also know that for me personally, so far most of the "typical" music that goes with these sessions, I find kind of annoying.

How do people build playlists? Any resources out there to help curate music that follows an arc? I'm quite sure I need to do more than pick a random "mushroom therapy" playlist off Spotify...

— especially from friends, family, or coworkers?

So I've had amazing results with small doses of thc coupled with acupuncture and also coupled with Craniosacral therapy. Wondering if anyone has tried combining mushrooms with these/other healing modalities? Love to hear your experiences and I'd love to try it

I have preverbal trauma. Neglect started at birth.

(Later came abuse).

I had a session today (Europe time). I am on heling journey with psychedelics for over a year now.

Today was planned because i had that leisure and according to astrology and knew that settling in deeply would not be easy, like being contemplative and quiet. There was potential for bodily/somatic work however (like softening the armour) and so I attempted to ride that wave. I hope that was it.

The trip was partly solo, with an online sitter at h+1 till h+2 ,

H is when i dropped 80mg. At h+1 i dropper 40mg. I am tiny.

Last night, a few hours before my trip i had dreams.

In one of the dreams i saw a baby cry, hanging above height, clasping with her hands in order no to fall. She was screaming and screaming.

In another dream a baby was on my side on a sofa/couch. She sort of let me get that she wanted me to prepare the couch as her bed so that she could sleep. I found the sheets and started to prepare while she was aldeary asleep, but there was my mother sitting on the other side of the sofa, a black massive weird shape that was not moving, preventing me from preparing the bed.

For the mdma session i had planned for movement and even spontaneous, organic dancing. Because of astrology, the body energy.

But I was not able to get up and hardly moved.

I just let my body be. It wanted to rest and relax and do nothing. It was icy cold. No amount of woollen cloths and blankets helped. Icy cold for 2 hours.

There was a sort of subtle vibration all over. In my legs and in my arms. I thought perhaps my nervous system is reorganizing. The armour cracks.

(But perhaps that’s just usual mdma effect? Nothing specific? )

I appreciated having my sitter there with me. She is an art therapist. I had asked her to prepare à play list but her play list was not appropriate and i told her several times that i needed slower tempo.

I did moan a lot. I rocked left to right on my back for a couple of minutes.

That’s all.

I was agonizing physically, crushed by fatigue and the vibration.

Mentally my thoughts were racing.

No emotion.

No insight.

A tiny bit of spiritual content (related to my spiritual beliefs and practices) but nothing new. It was there, supportive but in the background.

I hope that was à way for my body to process very early, preverbal trauma.

I didn't not test the mdma.

I feed exhausted since the come up and depressed since the come down.

Now, at H +12 can i take suppléments for the serotonin depletion or is it too early?

I did drink water a lot all day, and electrolytes. I took vitamines and Magnesium several times before and during the trip

I've been wanting to try microdosing on psilocybin for a while, I feel like I'm developing pretty well mentally and in a period where I want to "explore" more about my mind and evolve from that, I really want to discover more about myself. Also, I'm an artist, and most of my works are inspired by psychedelic imagery, which I've always been fascinated by.

That being said, 4 years ago, my brother went through an episode of psychosis, which ended up in him being diagnosed with schizophrenia, he's medicated and everything, but I've done some research and everyone seem to say that's its not recommended to take any psychedelics as it could put me in a risk of developing mental disorders too.

I'll also add that I've had my fair share of bad trips with weed, which almost always make me anxious or paranoid, and in medium to high doses I also experience derealization, which is my greatest fear - losing control over my own body really freaks my out, which is why I also don't really drink or smoke much.

I'm 24 and I know I have plenty of time to try it later in life, but part of me just feels like I'm ready and I want to try it, that's why I want to start in a really small dose, but once again, I would like to hear some thoughts about if I even should take psilocybin consider my situation, cause my goal is to find myself, not to lose myself.

Title basically. Have been using PSIP/cannabis and the progress is insane. Would love to chat with someone experiencing similar!

Wondering if there are any practicing Christians who would be up for sharing if/how you incorporate your faith into a ceremony? This is for my own private psilocybin ceremony. Thanks!

Has anyone here tried MDMA in a therapeutic setting with both a therapist and a sober partner present? I have attachment trauma and some difficult experiences from adulthood that make it hard for me to feel connected to my partner. I’ve done years and years of regular and emdr therapy, but the change is minimal. I’m wondering whether a session with a therapist and my partner could help me feel safer and lead to long-term benefits.

I believe we as a country are just absolutely asking to compromise our service men eventually if we don't have specific companies vetted of foreign assets or influence. Anything from brain washing to things that shouldn't be said could and would be said. Its low risk that say mossad makes a ibogaine clinic that does plum island sleeper cell ish but still, i cant imagine this didnt cross everyones mind at one point?

Last week I did my first Mushroom and MDMA combined session and first session with a friend as a sitter. I have done maybe 12 or 15 solo psylocybin sessions wither either mushrooms, 4ACO DMT or 4HO MET, with the intention of using them in a therapeutic way. Often the sessions are pretty scary, I feel a lot of fear over what might come up or happen to me, usually a lot of crying/ grieving / caring for my inner child. Lots of physically shaking, convulsing. Often feel like "why did I do this?!" at some point but usually feel pretty damn good afterwards, like I've purged something or gained insight. But there is always a fear of going deeper. So reading on here that MDMA can help reduce the fear, I thought I'd try that, with a friend as the sitter. I started with 85mg MDMA (I mentioned in and earlier post mdmda doesn't hit me like it used to as probably overused a bit in my 20s) but I felt it come on a bit after about 30 mins then took 3g McKennaiii in tea (just drank the water not the solids) I was a a bit scared this might be quite a high dose as often I do around 2-2.5g. But when it came on it wasn't as strong as I thought.

I lay down on bed, headphones and eye mask, listened to East forest- Music for Mushrooms. Started to feel a bit scared, but it passed. I saw some. Medical like humanoid beings that seemed to be operating on me somehow, putting tubes and things on my face, which then made me start to convulse. The convulsions moved around my body, often in my stomach where I believe my "core wound" is. What ensued was a pretty wild physical session, akin to previous ayahuasca ceremonies. At points I instinctively went on all fours and was breathing deep and retching as if I were going to either vomit up or give birth to the thing in my stomach which was convulsing, as points it really felt like it might come up. My intention was "show me what has caused me to have such abandonment issues/fear of being alone" which I kept coming back to but the CEVs didn't really show me anything that seemed relevant, just a lot of classic trippy geometrics, some snakes, no scenes from my life like I have experienced before. I realised I was trying to hard to control the experience by repeating my intention So after a while I relaxed it as showed kindness and compassion to the part of me that didn't want to show itself yet. I should add I instinctively starting making kind of shouting / roaring noises as I breathed out. It felt like something was being released. All the while there wasn't really that much emotion, I didn't really cry like I usually do, didn't feel angry but felt like the noises were perhaps suppressed anger being released?? The visuals died back a lot after about 2 hours, to the point they were barely visible. I initially felt a bit disappointed that I hadn't found out what had happened to me, but remembered I should not be trying to control to experience, gave compassion and clearly had a physical release. At one point it felt like my jaw was going to turn inside out, I usually suffer with jaw tension/teeth grinding at night so perhaps it helped. Afterwards I felt absolutely amazing and all my constant tight hips and back pain had completely gone. It did unfortunately creep back in over the next few days. But trying to remain positive and journal, meditate, move etc. Going through a bit of a stressful bit of life, moving out this weekend also..

Not sure why I'm writing this really, just wanted to get it down, if anyone has any insights, or integration tips for a trip that's mostly physical. Also whether the mdma may have blunted the effects of the mushrooms? Emotionally and visually? I was expecting 3g McKennaiii to be pretty strong. They were grown recently too. Thank you.

Hi all! I'm a journalist for VICE working on a piece about the world of "tripsitting" for wealthy clients. Think Bryan Johnson types.

I'm looking to speak with anyone who has sat for someone in this bracket — official or unofficial, credentialed or not.

The piece is about what that experience is like from the guide's side: what extreme wealth does to the dynamic, what these clients expect the medicine to fix, and what the reality of the job looks like versus the mystical framing around it.

Full anonymity guaranteed — no names, no identifying details, nothing that traces back to you or your clients. I'm not here to expose anyone.

DM me if you're open to a conversation, or email me at amber@amberbeanrawlings.com

Here's my website so you know I'm legit. Ditto: my Instagram.

Does anyone know of organizations/retreats/curanderos who facilitate healing experiences involving plant medicine (mushrooms mostly) in the region? I heard of Capulalpam and Huatla de Jiménez being good places, but eventually the experience depends much on the people and atmosphere, so I'm looking for any recommendations.

I'm hoping to come in June, if the season allows for it (i.e. perhaps too early for harvest)

Thanks so much.

Please help me set my instructions to my sitter/helper

My issue: c ptsd, starting from birth, with preverbal trauma and physical/somatic armour against abandonment and physical violence. Chronic anxiety. underground terror.

I have done a few sessions of MDMA+ psilocybin in the last 13 months and about 10 sessions of ketamine. I am peeling off layers and layers or anxiety, despair, anger... and had extraordinairy experiences of safety, aliveness, cosmic love, freedom from conditionning. None of this lasts though. i am back to the old self (tiny changes only)

All sessions so far were solo (no therapist in my country, Europe) but with excellent set and setting. I did see a psychologist for 2 months (8 weekly sessions) for integration, mostly talking, because so much matieral came up (the IFS fierce managers and protectors, etc) that i had to get help and unload but that is not the deepest integration.

Now. I have MDMA and a professional art-therapist will be there with me online for 2 hours. One of her special skills is inviting free movements, bodily expressions. she handles playlists as her routine activity.

i called her. i know her, i trust her. i have done several art therapy and "life art process" workshops with her in the last 6-7 years.

She has never been sitting a psychedelic session but is open to whatever i may ask from her.

Now. my nervous system needs to learn to relax in the presence of others and let the flow of life force within me flow without checking if what I do (and actually what I am) is good enough and acceptable, without controlling. i wish it can really learn and shift. i know one session is not enough and also that integration is key.

but for now, i am preparing that one session. there may be more sessions with her later, with or without psychedelics.

The theme for this session, which i plan and elaborate according to the astrological configuration (there will be some healing potential on the forthcoming new moon), is aliveness, activating movement. The configuration does encourage organic impetus, the impusle of life, but it is not very quiet, and a bit fiery. It still has healing potential for me, subtle liberation from the armour.

That’s why i thought i will do a session and she could assist me in that work where body is central. i pal to move. let my body move, without armour or at least without controllong or checking how it moves and why (mental control, subtle, very fast thoughts).

Now... what ? Should she just be a quiet and benevolent witness? (she knows how to do that.)

should she sit with me all the time? (wont my nervous system feel triggered?)

Should we talk to each other from time to time? Should i report to her during the session? (we could plan a debrief session too).

Should she be the one in charge of the music? i do have my own playlist but she has hers. she is a professional (but again, not spécialiséd or train in psychedelics).

also. Woule it be better thar i start the trip on my own, with the regular setting: dark room, eyemask, laying down, just breathing.. and have her join me later? when she joins, i guess i need to add some light so that she can see me. should i keep the eyemask and eyes closed?

should i have the debrief later that day? or let a few days pass?

Any thoughts? any suggestions?

i have booked her for 2 hours.

i am not planning to add psilocybin this time because with it, the work is too intense and phyisiologically demanding. it also works longer.

the energy of this full moon has some depth for me but is not so much about underground emotions and memories. it is a forward energy and it does relate to the body as the place of Self expression. it does invite movement.

Side note: she is cancer survivor. she battre for several years l'atelier but now is back. so she must have gained much strength. That’s what she claims. i trust she is not a liar.