r/PetLossJourney

My beloved 11.5 yo English bulldog passed away during surgery last Thursday. The surgery was to have a very large lump removed on the back near her spine. It was larger than a golf ball but smaller than a baseball. When talking to the vet the first time, he had mentioned her gums never looked good from the start and looked almost blueish. I was distraught and a mess when we first spoke so I didn’t question this. Went in the next day to get more details and clarifications and they said she did not look like that from the start and her vitals were fine till she crashed. Spoke to them again and they said when they noticed her gums turning blue they started the CPR efforts and weren’t successful. I requested the surgical notes and there is barely anything in there and nothing regarding her gums turning blue. I am so concerned there is possibly more they aren’t telling me. She barely lasted 8 min in surgery. She was old and we were worried this lump was cancer so maybe this was all truly too much for her. I know nothing will bring her back but I just want to know that they did what they could and she died peacefully. I wish I never got her this surgery. The amount of regret I have is insane.

I am completely devastated. She was my first dog and our first baby. Our world revolved around here. I can’t sleep, can’t eat and can’t think about anything else. I have a toddler and baby to take care of so I’m really trying to process this and cope as best I can because I need to take care of my kids. I can’t handle the pain. Has anyone gone through something similar?

He was 18, and I'd had him for my whole life. I'm glad he isn't in pain anymore but I would do anything to bring him back

I am devastated, thank you for allowing me to share some pictures and vent here 💜

I saved Odin from an animal/ material hoarding situation in 2016. The second I saw his picture I knew he was my boy and that he needed to come home with me. Something in me screamed GO GET HIM! He was apart of so many first in my life, so many changes, and he was wonderful companion while dealing with a chronic illness. Odin was really funny, he didn’t like treats and rarely played with toys, he LOVED love, his blankets, and my son’s circle space rug. Even more than that he loved me. I nicknamed him shadow because he wanted to be everywhere I was. I miss him the most at night when the house is settled and quiet, I keep waiting for him to meow and hop onto the bed next to me.

This last month has been really rough on me, I was having severe problems with my feeding tube and I was in a lot of pain, he was there for me as always. I finally got my tube changed Friday the 24th and then I got sick, I was sick Sunday-Wednesday. He left me overnight Wednesday and I found him Thursday morning. Finding him will never leave my mind. I keep replaying how I could have missed him passing, how could I have missed the signs? How could I have not been there to hold him and kiss the spot in between his eyes?

Thank you Mr. Odin for your love. Thank you for teaching baby O how to walk (I’m convinced it was him). Thank you for your midnight gospels and close cuddles. Thank you for your kindness and patience. Thank you for waking me up from bad dreams and making me laugh by being the dark shadow running past me in the hall. Thank you for being such a great friend when I was pregnant and when baby O finally came home. Thank you for being patient with baby O as he was learning what a good friend you are (he misses you too). I hope you’re with me Mr.Odin, life and time don’t feel the same without you.

I haven’t been able to sleep and I hoped this would help but it truly isn’t, I could go on all night about you Odin. I love you and I hope you’re waiting to greet me whenever my time is up.

Eleven years ago, I lost my cat in a tragic accident. He got scared by a sudden noise in the hallway (someone was using the elevator and stepped out at the same floor) panicked, and fell from the 11th-floor hallway window. It was a moment that changed my life forever. For over more than a decade, I kept my grief to myself, struggling to process the Severe pain and the emptiness he left behind that got me irrigural heartbeats (Arrhythmia).

I am Still Suffering, he was So young So Sweet So Genius💔🐈‍⬛

But I finally felt ready to open up about that day and the long, difficult journey of healing that followed. I made this 28 Minutes video for anyone who is currently feeling that same "broken" feeling.I feel like that I want to tell everyone & Share what 11 years of reflection taught me about the "Scars" we Carry—and why we are still whole, even after such a devastating loss. If you are struggling today, I hope my story offers you some comfort and a different perspective on your pain.

https://youtu.be/bAkrGGj4i0E

I’d love to hear how you all find the strength to keep going after losing the Best Friend.. actually he was My everything❤️

Just over 2 years ago we said goodbye to the hansom fella in the back, Luka. Him and the fluffy cutie, Holly in the front were the best of friends. Today, we said goodbye to her as well. My wife and I are devastated to say the least. We never got over the loss of Luka and still having Holly kind of felt like we had a bigger piece of him. Both were completely unexpected, illnesses that came out of nowhere even though we always stayed on top of their health.

Luka I think about you daily, I miss you daily and I always will. Holly, the same goes for you. I’ll think of you daily, I’ll miss you daily and I love you both more than you’ll ever know. You were our first “babies” and when we had more babies, you loved them like your own. We didn’t deserve you two, but you loved us anyways. On our good days, on our bad days, on every day you came to us with wet kisses and puppy cuddles.

Fly high pups, you’re together again and I know you’re watching over us and the kids. I hope where ever you are there is endless frisbees, balls and as many peanut butter kongs as you guys can handle.

Love always,

Mom, dad & the kids.

Yesterday, my beloved soul cat Ash passed away,Its only been day 1 but i miss him so bad and I feel very lost right now. it feels like the other half of me just died. everything is a mess. His death hasn’t sunk in yet, and I’m still hoping that I’m just having a bad nightmare. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. He always followed me wherever I went. He always meowed back to me whenever I talked to him. I know that he is gone, but I still find myself looking in all his favorite spots, hoping he’s there, just resting like nothing happened. all the color of the house the joyful noises suddenIy dissapeared the house likely feels deafeningly quiet and lost its color. I don’t know how I will move on from this i really really love my furbaby

Hi everyone, this saturday when I was at work I loss my 8 year old australian shepherd Maru to a pitbull who attacked him. Sadly he had already passed on by the time I was home and he passed away alone. I'm struggling right now mentally and finding it hard if not impossible to do anything at all due to this being the closest bond I've ever had with someone or a pet, we did everything together and he was always attached to my hip, he always slept right by my side or against my back and just being in my bed isn't the same and I find it impossible to sleep besides for short periods until I wake up crying or looking for him feeling confused to where he is until the realization kicks in. The same questions keep running through my mind about his final moments, how much was he suffering? Him wondering where I was and why am I not helping him? And how scared he was before he passed away? I keep blaming myself for so much and to be honest I've loss the will to keep going on even though I know he would want me to keep on pushing forward. But seeing how bad that dog attacked him and the condition he was in when I found him destroyed me and I can't get that image out of my mind, there was a lot of blood coming out of his mouth and body and seeing how much that was under him when I picked him up disturbed me. When the vet examined him they found punctures on his head, throat, stomach, back, and legs so basically his whole body. She also told me that it looks like he had broken a rib and his lung was punctured. The other dog is being put down but sadly the damage has already been done and I can't stop thinking about how much my baby boy suffered and the thought of him dying alone is messing me up. I wish more people would train their dogs especially with the ones that are bigger breeds and can be more dangerous so things like this wouldn't happen. If anyone here has experienced something similar please let me know anything that helped you or reach out and message me if you feel more comfortable talking about it that way. I'm also sorry to anyone who has loss a pet recently or to anyone who has suffered something similar.

I did post this in another community but I didn't get much advice, anything helps. Thank you so much.

what to say my Rainy, besides I miss ya, bud.

16 years ago, I unexpectedly stepped into a role that became so much more than “owning” a dog. You were never just a dog. You were my child. A part of me.

The level of care, love, and attention you needed gave me a sense of purpose. You made me feel needed, fulfilled, and deeply connected. My friends and family saw that over the years, so much so that they began wishing me a happy Mother’s Day every year.

You gave that gift to me, Chloe.

I didn’t even think today would feel this heavy. But as I was sending Mother’s Day texts to the women in my life who have kids, I got a text back saying, “Happy Mother’s Day to you too!” and it immediately tapped into my grief. Tears fell from my face as quickly as I read those words.

I guess she’s right.

I’m still your mother. I’ll always be your mother.

Just like you’ll always be my baby.

I love you so much, Chloe.

We put down our almost 9 year old bull mastiff, Maverick, down this thursday. I'm seriously wondering if we should've waited longer, although there's nothing I can do about it now & I feel so incredibly guilty.

In the morning, he appeared totally okay, and then within a few hours became lethargic, uninterested in treats (which is the absolute opposite of him, he's a BIG treat guy), and panting while remaining still. My boyfriend stopped by to watch after him until someone could get home, & luckily my mom got out early so we were able to hoist him into the car and take him to the emergency vet.

The vet found that most of his main vitals were okay, his heartbeat sounded a little muffled so they decided to do a quick ultrasound and found fluid in his chest surround his heart. Since they can't detect a cause immediately, they suggested it was cancer, a foreign object, or heart disease. Regardless, he needed to be sedated so they could get the fluid out, we would've gotten it tested to determine anything, would likely have had to have done multiple procedures to determine the cause/treatment, and there was a high chance of it coming back, no matter the cause.

My dad arrived to the hospital and they decided they wanted to bring him back home so he can pass away in the comfort of his things. We brought him home and realized that he wasn't soothing; he was panting heavier than ever and we were worried he wouldn't make it a few days while we sorted out the plans (most likely due to the stress and now I even feel guiltier about bringing him back home when we could've just done it there all along).

We had to carry his 140lb. ass into the car which is UNHEARD of (he despised being picked up or anything) and brought him back to the vet, and he did not want to go in, I felt absolutely fricken horrible. We put him to rest on his bed in the office and since then I've just fault awful about the whole situation. I suddenly lost my cat this past August and I wasn't fully prepared to lose my pup too, especially without thinking we would the day prior, and now we don't have any fur babies in the home :(

I regret bringing him back home after stressing him out at the vet, but I also regret not keeping him at the house for longer to see if maybe he does feel a little better (this is from info online but my mom speculated that maybe he had a trigger of some sort which caused a flare up & some of the liquid can be reabsorbed so i was having high hopes). I understand that a lot of this can just be grief & me trying to grapple with everything, but I wish we didn't do this so soon, I wasn't prepared even though I know (I think) this was the right thing.

I just can't believe how it all fell so fast. He had been getting slower (as we attributed to age) and they brought him to the (different) vet within the past year who said he had a heart murmur (apparently he doesn't, it probably just sounded muffled) otherwise everything was relatively normal. I also regret not getting him double checked, I regret not being with him more, and I regret having to do this so suddenly, especially in a place he wasn't familiar with.

I'm mainly just venting and if you're still here thank you for reading & here's some things about Mavvy

He was an INCREDIBLE dog, like barely barked, never was aggressive or bit anyone, was borderline unbothered 24/7 (unless he saw a holiday lawn inflatable, he didn't like those for some reason) and genuinely a cuddle bug. The only thing that motivated him was treats, which we clearly gave him plenty of. He was a fan favorite at every gathering & while he looks intimidating and can scare others (understandably) he was never afraid of anyone.

We did purchase him (not my favorite, but..) because my mom was attacked by a dog & truly traumatic facial injuries, so they wanted the opportunity to do research on certain breeds and be able to train them themselves. We've had him since he was about 5 months old and he would have been 9 at the end of May. I truly am so grateful to have been able to spend life with this lovebug, even if it didn't end in the way I had expected. I hope we were able to show him all the love he introduced us to & I'm grateful he's not suffering any longer. Thank you 🫶🏻