Hello dear reddit community. My 15 years old cat isn’t doing really good these past days. I honestly don’t even know where to start - my baby boy was all healthy just a few months ago, or so I thought at least. Me and my mom went on a short trip to London, just four days nothing long. He was okey when we left, and so for a few days after our arrival. But after, let’s say like 3 days, I noticed he started to eat his litter in a small amount. So of course I took him to the vet, they did some blood test - kidney failure ... I thought well, he is old, I guess this is somehow normal for older cats. So he was put on a diet and I was given pills he’s supposed to take every day. Fortunately, they smelled like treats so it was easy for him to take them. But after a week, I noticed he was breathing a little heavier. He started coughing and throwing up, but nothing came out of him. So, I rushed to the vet again. They told me he has some liquid in his lungs and that it’s not a good combination with his bad kidneys. This was for the first time we started talking about euthanasia and I just cried like a baby. They said we can try suction, but the liquid will most likely come back and fill his lungs again. They gave me a day to thing about it, after a day I called them and said I want to try it. I want to give him a chance. So we scheduled an appointment, but he started getting worse, stopped eating and drinking completely. I gave them a call and we did the operation earlier. And for a month, he was really getting better, he didn’t start drinking again, but he did start eating so I mixed water with his wet food, and it worked. But after 20 days or so, he stopped eating the meat, so I just mashed it and mixed it so it had like a waterish consistency. But now, it’s been about a month and half since the operation and it’s just getting worse. He doesnt have the appetite anymore, the coughing is back, and I just know it’s time for me to let him go. We could do the suction again, but what for? For me to have one more month with him? I don’t want to stick needle straight into his lungs every month just so I can have more time with him, although trust me I want all the time with him, but I don’t want him to suffer because of it.
So, now the hard time, I have to make that call to the vet. I want to cremate him so I have to call them also. All these hard decisions. HOW do I make them? How can I call them knowing I’m calling because im about to put down my baby boy. I’m 23, he’s 15, would be turning 16 this year. He’s been here for me for more than half my life. How can I just decide to end his life and think he will be in a better place, when the best place for him to be is right here with me .. ? surrounded by love and his favorite food, snacks and cuddles ? Also, what comes after ? Everywhere I look in this house, I’m reminded by him. All his favorite spots, all the fur, his scratching tree. How do I cope with all that ?
I do have a second cat and a dog and I love them both so very much, but he was my first baby. Thanks to him we all fell in love with cats and got a second one. And I fear after losing him I will shut myself from my other dear animals.
So please, I know this is probably really long and hectic and I have just too many questions, but I guess I just need some help from someone who understands my perspective and unfortunately went through the same situation as me right now. So many how’s, why‘s … where to start and and how to move forward from this point ? Are there some things you wish you did before saying goodbye to your babies?