Suddenly down our family dog, but I have regrets
We put down our almost 9 year old bull mastiff, Maverick, down this thursday. I'm seriously wondering if we should've waited longer, although there's nothing I can do about it now & I feel so incredibly guilty.
In the morning, he appeared totally okay, and then within a few hours became lethargic, uninterested in treats (which is the absolute opposite of him, he's a BIG treat guy), and panting while remaining still. My boyfriend stopped by to watch after him until someone could get home, & luckily my mom got out early so we were able to hoist him into the car and take him to the emergency vet.
The vet found that most of his main vitals were okay, his heartbeat sounded a little muffled so they decided to do a quick ultrasound and found fluid in his chest surround his heart. Since they can't detect a cause immediately, they suggested it was cancer, a foreign object, or heart disease. Regardless, he needed to be sedated so they could get the fluid out, we would've gotten it tested to determine anything, would likely have had to have done multiple procedures to determine the cause/treatment, and there was a high chance of it coming back, no matter the cause.
My dad arrived to the hospital and they decided they wanted to bring him back home so he can pass away in the comfort of his things. We brought him home and realized that he wasn't soothing; he was panting heavier than ever and we were worried he wouldn't make it a few days while we sorted out the plans (most likely due to the stress and now I even feel guiltier about bringing him back home when we could've just done it there all along).
We had to carry his 140lb. ass into the car which is UNHEARD of (he despised being picked up or anything) and brought him back to the vet, and he did not want to go in, I felt absolutely fricken horrible. We put him to rest on his bed in the office and since then I've just fault awful about the whole situation. I suddenly lost my cat this past August and I wasn't fully prepared to lose my pup too, especially without thinking we would the day prior, and now we don't have any fur babies in the home :(
I regret bringing him back home after stressing him out at the vet, but I also regret not keeping him at the house for longer to see if maybe he does feel a little better (this is from info online but my mom speculated that maybe he had a trigger of some sort which caused a flare up & some of the liquid can be reabsorbed so i was having high hopes). I understand that a lot of this can just be grief & me trying to grapple with everything, but I wish we didn't do this so soon, I wasn't prepared even though I know (I think) this was the right thing.
I just can't believe how it all fell so fast. He had been getting slower (as we attributed to age) and they brought him to the (different) vet within the past year who said he had a heart murmur (apparently he doesn't, it probably just sounded muffled) otherwise everything was relatively normal. I also regret not getting him double checked, I regret not being with him more, and I regret having to do this so suddenly, especially in a place he wasn't familiar with.
I'm mainly just venting and if you're still here thank you for reading & here's some things about Mavvy
He was an INCREDIBLE dog, like barely barked, never was aggressive or bit anyone, was borderline unbothered 24/7 (unless he saw a holiday lawn inflatable, he didn't like those for some reason) and genuinely a cuddle bug. The only thing that motivated him was treats, which we clearly gave him plenty of. He was a fan favorite at every gathering & while he looks intimidating and can scare others (understandably) he was never afraid of anyone.
We did purchase him (not my favorite, but..) because my mom was attacked by a dog & truly traumatic facial injuries, so they wanted the opportunity to do research on certain breeds and be able to train them themselves. We've had him since he was about 5 months old and he would have been 9 at the end of May. I truly am so grateful to have been able to spend life with this lovebug, even if it didn't end in the way I had expected. I hope we were able to show him all the love he introduced us to & I'm grateful he's not suffering any longer. Thank you 🫶🏻