I have to lock in

Porn really destroyed my relationships.

I wasn't able to go out to any gathering. I wasn't able to meet my own family members. I felt genuinely frightened... because I just couldn't see women normally anymore. Whoever I saw, my mind would just go back to those images. It was automatic. It was disturbing.

I didn't know how to control it. I didn't even know if I could recover from it.

Porn had unconsciously built a mentality in me that all women are like objects only. That was the root of my problem. It had wired my brain to constantly chase that excitement, that instant dopamine hit... and it made me see women as objects rather than people.

But then I started my NoFap journey. And along with it, I started meditating. That's when I began noticing patterns in my thinking. I realised my mind was always looking for that same excitement... even in real life. In social gatherings, when I met new people, new women, my mind was chasing that thrill. That's what was making me objectify. It was not my intention but my brain had got conditioned in that way.

It's been 2 years since I stopped watching porn. Gradually things have changed, I started seeing women more like humans again.

And through meditation, I found that the source of that excitement and joy.... is actually within me. I don't need any external stimulation for it.

Meditation helped me detach from that conditioning.

Now I'm able to distance myself from my thoughts. My relationships have improved. Those intrusive thoughts don't scare me the same way anymore.

\*"The most beautiful moments in life are moments when you are expressing your joy, not when you are seeking it."\*

\*-Sadhguru\*

I feel this quote fits perfectly here 😄

Just wanted to share this. Hope it helps someone. Thank you for reading.

TL;DR

Porn addiction distorted how I saw women and affected my relationships. After starting NoFap and meditation, I gradually detached from those patterns. Over 2 years, my thinking normalized, and I was able to improve my relationships and regain control over my mind.

I can't believe it!!!!!! I could never go 60 hours without fapping, but I made it to day 60. God is good 🙏🏿

You all seem so passionate about not jerking off/“relapsing”. Relapsing is a pretty strong term about something. What is your guys’ motivation for stopping? Has jerking ruined your lives so much ? Is it for religious reasons? Did you spend your whole lives doing it or obsessing about it? Help me understand!!

How are you guys handling the fantasies you got from porn? I’m dying to try the stuff I've been watching for years. ’m not in a relationship, it feels like the perfect time, but I’m worried it might mess with my head even more. Has anyone actually gone through with it? How did it go?

I am at 28 days strong! Four weeks for the first time. It has not been easy, but I can't wait to hit a full month soon :)

I’m 18 years old and I have been masturbating every single day for the last 9 years. It’s been half my life, and I am completely sick of it. I feel stuck in a loop that started when I was just a kid, and now it feels like my brain is hardwired to need it.

I’m not looking for the basic "just find a hobby" or "stay busy" advice that everyone gives. I’ve heard it all. I need to know how to actually escape a habit that has been part of my daily routine for nearly a decade.

2 months without fapping feel like I’m on steroids feel so good without fapping feel way more energetic more disciplined feel confident as well not scared of talking to females or any and I pray whoever still struggling with fapping i pray ya can escape from it I pray that ya keep getting up even tho ya fall I pray ya keep getting back no matter what .

I started in 3rd grade and now I’ve just finished highschool, it held me back from a lot during those years which I wish I could get back but I just can’t.

I hit 3 weeks no porn for the first time two months ago since atleast 2019 but it could very well be further than that. I hit 2 weeks again after relapsing but I keep just falling back into it.

This time I’m trying no fap instead of no porn bc it just feels inevitable when doing one and not the other. However if I feel like I really need it around week 1-2 I’m gonna do it w/o porn

I’m happy I’ve completed day 1 and have more self improvement plans in order to keep my days busy.

Im doing this to really see what I can be without porn and fapping. I’m not sure if this has anything to do with it, but I used ti be the best in almost everything I did before it started to get pretty bad in middle school.

The hardest part for me is getting past the feeling of constant doom and social muteness in weeks 2-3.

The only trigger I’ve seriously noticed almost every time is scrolling on social media in my bed. Today I didn’t do it but I think my plan is to just keep my phone out of my room.

The saddest part about it all is living every day wanting to quit but not being able to, the focus just shifts toward quitting and it’s all that’s on my mind is quitting. Time just flies when you don’t live in the moment

I’m gonna document everyday because I really, really want to see what I can be without the habit.

I’ve officially hit 35 days 50 days soon

I’m a 29-year-old guy, and I’ve been stuck in this cycle since I was about 13. What started as curiosity turned into something that now feels like it has a grip on me.

I don’t feel in control anymore.

It’s not even about wanting to do it — sometimes I don’t. But I still end up going back to porn out of habit, boredom, stress… anything, really. It’s like my brain is wired to default to it. I’ve tried to stop more times than I can count, and every time I fail, it hits harder.

What scares me the most isn’t even the habit itself — it’s what it’s doing to my mind.

I’ve started to notice that the way I look at women isn’t the same as it used to be. I hate admitting that. I don’t want to see women in a distorted way, but I feel like years of this have changed something in me. Sometimes real-life interactions feel… different. Less exciting. Or I find myself comparing things in ways that I know aren’t fair or healthy.

And that makes me feel like shit.

So I guess this is why I’m posting here, especially asking women:

If you knew a guy had been dealing with something like this for years, would it change how you see him?

Is this something that can be “undone,” or do you think it permanently affects how someone connects with women?

Have you ever been with someone like this — and did you notice it?

I feel ashamed even writing this, but I’d rather hear the truth than keep pretending it’s not a problem.

I don’t want this to define me, but right now it kind of feels like it does.

after over 900 days or 2 and a half years of no porn or masturbation, ive reached a flow state, i control my thoughts and my body, the feeling is unreal its something else man

I’m so done. I want to be the one doing that in real life so yes I am doing nofap and taking it serious this time!

Day 7 today boys

Most people think quitting porn is about discipline. It’s not. It’s about how your habits are built.

Every habit follows the same loop:
Cue → Craving → Response → Reward

Don’t beat masturbation & pornography by “trying harder". Redesign the system so the habit loses its edge. Here’s are 4 Laws of Behavior Change that I've utilized from Atomic Habits by James Clear:

Make it Invisible (Kill the cues).

Do this:

1. Remove private access zones (no phone in bed/bathroom).
2. Install blockers (DNS filters, app blockers, browser extensions).
3. Move devices into shared or visible spaces.
4. Set “no-screen windows” (e.g., after 9 PM).
5. Fix sleep schedule. (Highly recommended!).

Why it works:
No cue → no automatic loop initiation. You’re cutting demand at the source.

Make it Unattractive (Break the illusion)

Remind yourself:

1. It drains your focus.
2. It kills your motivation.
3. It replaces real connection with something empty.

The more honest you are about the downside, the weaker the urge becomes.

Why it works:
It rewrites the brain’s value equation.

Make it Difficult (Add friction).

Right now, it’s too easy—that’s the real issue.

1. Log out every time.
2. Use long passwords which includes characters, numbers and letters. Enter passwords manually.
3. Keep your phone out of reach.
4. Downgrade your phone (temporary).
5. Use grayscale mode (kills stimulation).

Why it works:
Even a 10–30 second delay disrupts autopilot behavior.

Make it Unsatisfying (Add consequences).

Bad habits stick because they have no immediate downside.

Introduce accountability:

1. Track your progress (Use a habit tracker (visible streaks), use an Excel or Google Sheets).
2. Tell someone you trust.
3. Add consequences if you slip.
4. Set a consequence: Break streak → donate money or do something uncomfortable.

Why it works:
You attach a real cost to relapse, not just regret.

Replace the habit or you’ll relapse.

Your brain still needs relief. Give it better options:

1. Urge hits → Move your body immediately (push-ups, walk).
2. Bored → Low-friction activity (music, drawing, coding, reading).
3. Stress → Cold water / breathing / journaling.

Bottom Line:

Porn addiction isn’t a discipline problem.
It’s a design flaw in your environment and habits.

Fix the system:

1. Remove cues
2. Add friction
3. Replace the reward
4. Track the identity

Do that consistently, and the behavior doesn’t just weaken, it becomes irrelevant.

I’m a 29-year-old guy and I haven’t masturbated for a little over a week now. At first it felt manageable, but today the urge is hitting really hard.

I didn’t expect it to be this intense. My mind keeps drifting back to it, and it’s honestly getting difficult to focus on anything else. Part of me wants to stay disciplined and see how far I can go, but another part of me is saying “just give in and get it over with.”

I’m curious how others deal with this phase. Does it get easier after this point, or is this where most people struggle the most?

Right now I feel like I’m at a breaking point and I’m not sure if I’ll hold much longer. Any advice or experiences would really help. 💭

Title:

20M struggling with extreme porn addiction — I want to change but feel stuck and ashamed

Post:

I’m 20 years old and I’ve been watching porn and masturbating since I was around 14. Over time, it escalated a lot. I started consuming more and more extreme categories (like aggressive, degrading, and unrealistic content), and now it feels like my brain has been completely wired to that level of stimulation.

Because of this, I feel a lot of shame about myself. I don’t feel like a normal person anymore. I know I made these choices, and I take responsibility, but I genuinely want to change.

The problem is consistency. I try to quit, but I relapse within 1–2 days. The longest I’ve gone was around 40 days last year, and during that time I felt much better mentally and physically. But after that, I haven’t even been able to maintain a week.

Right now, I’m dealing with:

low energy

lack of focus

possible ED symptoms

constant guilt and overthinking

feeling disconnected from real life

I can’t talk about this with my parents or friends. I feel like if people knew what I’ve been watching, they would judge me heavily. That fear makes me isolate even more.

Sometimes it gets so bad that I feel like I’ve ruined myself permanently, even though I want to believe I can still change.

I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to become normal again, have control over my mind, and build a better life.

So I’m asking honestly:

Has anyone recovered from this level of addiction?

How do you break the cycle when you keep relapsing every few days?

How do you deal with shame and intrusive thoughts?

What actually worked for you long term?

Please no judgment. I just need real advice.

Thanks for reading.

Today is day 192 and I finally went to the gym for the first time in about a year today. I'm a pretty tall skinny guy and I've tried lifting in the past but I always struggle with consistency. It also seems like if I actually want to get a good physique I'll have to eat a LOT and as a college student on a budget, I already don't eat enough even without the lifting. And for a physique I'd also have to research exercise methods and optimal splits and it just feels like a whole lot of work. The discipline method doesn't really work great with me because if I miss one day I usually just lose motivation and give up. I think another issue with it is that I've never really believed in myself and I've kinda thought I'll just stay skinny for the rest of my life. It feels impossible to change. Any tips? I know I'm probably putting too much pressure on myself but the gym just sucks like its so time consuming and boring and I have to shower after so it takes up like 2 or 3 hours of my day. What worked for you guys?

Ive been addicted for a wile now, and I've narrowed down a way to stop fapping during the day. But I keep doing it during the night when Im trying to go to sleep because there's nothing to distract myself from the urges. So do you have any tips for me to stop fapping while trying to sleep.

I've been struggling with this a lot since I was in high school. For me, I know my priorities but whenever I had the free time I'd always fall back to masturbating. Now that I'm in college, I got a therapist to work things out. After my first session, I had a 6 day streak of being clean. Well, until today. Does therapy take a while to work? Im not so sure myself. I feel pretty bummed out right now..

was on twitter reading about movies and some porn showed up and had a look through someones account where they just repost porn and i looked for a few minutes, i stopped to make this post and even in that time my boner is gone now. hoping to make it through the rest of the day fine