r/AuDHDWomen

Today while I was at work, not one but TWO of my coworkers made a comment about how I often I look confused. I thought I was aware of the expressions my face makes, but I guess not lmaoo I genuinely don’t think I make expressions that indicate that I’m confused. I feel like my facial expressions can come off as kind of awkward if anything.

Not one you WANT to use or dream the best version of you would do. Nothing on your Pinterest board LOL.

Something you’ve actually put into every day use, that’s changed you.

Here’s some I’ve actually used for years -

• only use crossover purses or book bags. If it’s not attached me, I’m losing it.
• turn my debit cards on and off so if I sign up for a bunch of subscriptions and forget to cancel, they don’t go through
• use a real alarm clock across the room from you, no more relying on the phone that you forgot to charge
• use that same alarm by hitting snooze over and over once you’re up to help with time blindness. Doesn’t get rid of it, but definitely helps make you more aware.
• in shower lotion. You use it wet before you dry off. Another game changer
• moved all our vegetables to the fridge door and the condiments to the drawer. Saves a lot of food from going bad.
• listen to audiobooks or podcast when I'm doing laundry/dishes. It makes it bearable for me. 2 big, different colour laundry carrying baskets (alongside my normal laundry carrying basket).

one is for clothes that are clean and waiting to be put in their respective places in the wardrobe, the other for clothes that haven't been "dirtied enough" (worn once or twice) and im too lazy to put back in the wardrobe.

• If I remember something at the wrong time it’s basically the same as forgetting it. Like if I am on the bus and realise I can’t forget to do laundry I won’t remember so I set an alarm. also siri is game changer “Hey Siri, at 5pm remind me to message Tom”.
• start every day off making my bed then chugging a big cup of water no questions asked.

I find myself rewatching my comfort shows every time I’m burnt out or depressed, it’s the only thing that keeps me engaged.

Usually I do watch a lot of movies, but I find myself unable to commit to them when I’m this tired, but I can rewatch 7 seasons of my fave shows??

I am going on vacation and have gone to get a pedicure to start off the trip with cute toenails. This was a mistake. I want to leave but it’s too far into the process. I used to get pedicures three or so times a year. Now I do once a year and it’s too much. Everything about this has been horrible.

And now the pedicurist has decided the very dark purple polish I picked is too fall-like and I need a spring color. I don’t want Easter egg colored toenails. If you haven’t gone to get a pedicure in a long time, then I suggest sticking w that approach.

I’ve been taking L-Tyrosine for 2 weeks now, this week was the first week I was effortlessly productive and I didn’t feel like I was weighed down by symptoms.

The only symptom that seems to now have roaming room is my “go-go” squirrel in my mind and general energy.

I have PMDD and I haven’t felt any symptoms, which usually would be rampaging my day to day. My period is set to start any day now. Usually I’m crippled all week and I’m intolerable. I WORKED A 10 hour shift and I was SO focused and productive! I NEVER feel like this during my late Luteal, this is how I feel during ovulation!

I’ve been so productive and had such clarity and patience, I felt like myself for the first time ever, the version of myself I always knew I could be but always stumbled over myself to reach.

She ( new me) is so productive and vibrantly joyous!

She gets angry but it’s not explosive and it’s short 1-2 hours instead of the 6-8 and sometimes the whole day. She loves spontaneity and follow throughout! She wakes up by 9am WITHOUT feeling like time is running out or like I’m stealing time from my sleep or feeling half dead.,

She cares enough to fix her sleeping schedule, fitness start adapting a routine! She doesn’t carry her headphones everywhere and avoid essential locations because of overwhelm. She remembers to cook nutritious meals for herself 2 times a day! She is STRETCHING EVERYDAY! She is incredibly smart! Her brain moves so smoothly and her memory and recall is so efficient and has little to no

Lag! She isn’t anxious and has a respect for her mental health enough to go outside, to reach out if she is feeling upset. She is excited to live life 🥹

I AM SHE!!!

The thyroid supplement that has the l tyrosine in it, but also has other beneficial minerals and vitamins that help with my over all symptoms that were making me feel “defective”

I’m going to my dr to investigate so I can pin point it and understand myself more 🥰❤️‍🔥

I’m in my early 30s, I found out I had ADHD in my late 20s and then realized I almost assuredly have autism a year or two later. It’s honestly been really hard to come to terms with all the times I’ve failed in life because I was quite literally warring with my own brain. It makes me sad and angry on a daily basis.

I think I’ve also been pushing through constant burnout for the last few years and feel like I’ve forgotten really who I am or what meaning I want to have for my life. I’ve dissociated through the majority of my adult life because I did not realize I’d been living life on hard mode without any kind of knowledge or help to navigate being neurodivergent let alone the knowledge that I was. Most of the time I feel like a consciousness that does the same handful of necessary things everyday (wake up, get dressed, go to work so I can pay rent and feed myself and my cats, etc. basic things) but outside of that I don’t feel a large sense of self. If I do, it feels hollow, like an echo of the idea of who I am. Otherwise I feel very detached from myself and the world around me.

I felt like my life was going in the “right direction” for being in my early 20s in America, went to college, got a degree and all that. But when the pandemic hit and I started to feel like I was regressing socially (I think we all did.) I got sucked into putting all of my energy into a shitty retail job and stopped caring about myself, just felt like I was existing to get a paycheck sometimes. Simple tasks began to feel insurmountable and then I also went through the mental toll of playing ADHD meds roulette until I found one that worked for me. (Concerta, focalin, adderall all were awful for me. Vyvanse was the one that worked but was very expensive to obtain.)

Once I was on Vyvanse the autism became very apparent and the subsequent skill regression that comes with accommodating your autism and unmasking (I still don’t really know what unmasking fully looks like for me personally.) I also just started avoiding anything that was even slightly uncomfortable, it was easy to do because I have a very loving and supportive partner who helps me every single day with my struggles. I feel guilty for how much they help, and when my PMDD rears its ugly head it tells me how much I don’t deserve them. All of it is so much to handle mentally so I think this has lead to my current state of not feeling like life has a whole lot of meaning and that I’m not capable or worthy of something better.

If you also add that the world is a shit show and trying to find any good meaning in anything while it burns, it’s really difficult to find the motivation to make my own life better. Unfortunately the misery is a comfort, I think, the evil you know vs the unknown and all that. Most days I just couch rot and think of all the things I could be doing if I just had lived my 20s differently, even though I know that’s unrealistic and unhelpful. It feels like I’m in a prison of my own mind, just kind of numb and going through the necessary motions to at least seem somewhat functional but really it’s hollow and detached.

Idk what I expect from this just wanted to get it off my chest. I’ve tried therapy but found it largely unhelpful since I’m very self-aware and can usually pinpoint why I’m feeling a certain way. I’m also losing my job at the end of the month, nearly one year later from the last time I lost my job (both times, ironically, were no fault of my own; if I’m nothing else I’m a good worker because that’s where most of my energy is spent) so trying to seek out a therapist who could help me is not a top priority right now since mental health coverage I can afford is tied to having a job. I also have not regularly been on Vyvanse for the last year for the very same reason. I struggled so much with the change of starting a new job after 10 years only to lose the next one just when I was feeling good and ready to get back into going to appointments and getting medicated and now it just feels pointless again, or maybe just too difficult.

I wish I felt like a person with a purpose again, I just don’t know how to get there when nothing feels real. Everything feels like this stupid performance we’re all forced into and I’ve forgotten all of my lines.

I was reading up the other day on a bunch of things with Adhd, Autism, Audhd etc. And I came across something regarding neurodivergent people who love metal music, and why to neurotypical people it may seem contradictory due to the loud sounds, and just overall chaos.

Did you know there's actually a science to it?! Apparently this type of music helps us actually calm down and feel at some sort of peace, happy etc, because it simulates the chaos that goes on within our brains. Obviously there was much more scientific terms than that, but thats the simple terms. How cool is that?! It definitely makes sense to me, looking deeper into it. Especially when the music has to super heavy breakdowns and stank-face (iykyk) inducing sounds.

People were always shocked as I grew up how i could easily fall to sleep to some of the heaviest music I listen to, compared to more mainstream music.

I could go out and be overwhelmed by so many noises and sounds throughout the day that lead to a meltdown, but could happily lose myself and feel at ease in a room with blasting metal music, or with my music up at the highest setting in my headphones. Funnily enough, it wss always neurotypical people who found this shocking, mad etc. Whilst fellow neurodivergent folk, regardless of whether they were into the same music, understood and appreciated it.

Was just interesting to me and felt like I would share!

I CAN'T STAND IT AT ALL 😭

I know I should let it go, but I respond so emotionally.

Especially when it's about my special interest!!

Another Saturday wasted when I planned to write. I have about eight novel series ideas, but the problem is that I never get out of the "ideas and research phase."

Do you have a routine? A special diet? Perhaps you take medications? Hypnotize yourself? Do you have some super secret morally incorrect way? I don't care, I just need to know how to make myself be productive.

It’s Saturday. My friend invited me to a Mahjong party at her house today. I’ve known about this for over a week. Now I am here, sitting in my car outside her place, with a feeling of absolute dread.

I don’t know how to play Mahjong. I don’t know who will be here or how long I am “supposed” to stay for. I forgot you are supposed to ask if you can bring something to a party, like a snack or drink, but now it’s too late.

The thing is, this friend is very kind and patient with me. She knows about my recent diagnosis and tries to include me in things without too much pressure. So I feel like I should accept these invites to show my appreciation. But then the day comes, and suddenly I’m sweating and crying outside her place, contemplating whether I should just text her and say I can’t make it. For everyone else, this is a fun and relaxing get-together. For me, it feels like I’m being robbed of my time to actually relax on the weekend because gatherings like this take so much out of me. I complain of loneliness, but can’t enjoy social time unless the conditions are 100% ideal for me, and that makes me feel like I’m difficult and ungrateful for being included.

Sorry for the rant. I need to just make up my mind if I’m going in or not. I worry that if I go it will be too much and I’ll have a meltdown in the bathroom. (Wouldn’t be the first time)

Does anyone else feel like this? 😕

I was hyperfocused on litterpicking. Didn't see the massive hole in the ground and my ankle just.. couldn't... Got my foot up ASAP, its after normal doctors hours and there's no way I'm spending the next 6+ hours in the ER to maybe be told to go home, take a painkiller and a rest. I know what I need to do to make myself comfortable till Monday morning. but the rest part? I cannot sit still for more than 15 mins naturally. My body gets itchy, my mind scratchy and I need something...

I will (I manifest it to be so!) be okay in 34 hours, but I need ideas to keep my mind occupied and intrigued. Movie series, rabbit holes, cooking shows, free small phone games, a riddle or two... help a hurting sister out please 🥺

i come home and "download" all of my social situations away from home into my husband. I focus on the tangible, factual, sure things.

Then I explore my feelings about them, and seek his interpretation. Ultimately I don't usually have any immediate responses to social situations, unless they're very offensive. I have to unwrap the situation to decide what I want to or actually feel. But I never know how to respond, both inside myself and outwardly to others.

Like being talked about in class, as far as I'm concerned there's nothing appropriate that I can say in rebuttal. And there's nothing I can do about it, except avoid those people. So I verbally document it to my husband, and he filters the situation through his brain, so I feel more normal or safe in whatever I decide to feel.

is this a symptom of neurodivergence, or perhaps CPTSD?

I left my job last month and have been taking a little sabbatical while I prepare to move. Yesterday I had an interview and objectively it went really well. I cried when I ended the call. I've been so free this past month and I dread having to zip up my human suit to function in corporate america again. "Wearing my human suit" is truly the best way I can describe what it feels like. Can anyone relate to this feeling?

Anyway, I'm just tired of masking and trying to pretend like 8hrs a day/40hrs a week clicking at a keyboard so that I can lay on the floor for 2 days like a shriveled up forgotten carrot is normal. But... I also just bought a house and houses cost money so, here we are.

Hi everyone,

I’ve recently realized that I struggle a lot with emotional regulation. Whenever I feel something, whether it’s positive or negative, I tend to cope by eating, sometimes to the point of overeating.

From the outside, I know it can look a certain way, and I’m aware of it myself. I think I’ve been relying on this habit for a long time because I’ve always felt kind of “emotionally overwhelmed” or unsure how to handle my feelings.

I was wondering if any of you have tips or strategies to help retrain my body and mind not to automatically turn to food when emotions come up.

Thank you in advance 💛

Something I realized with my history of romantic relationships even going back to early high school, is we are real. We wear our hearts on our sleeve and I don't think we'd be able to play games if we wanted to.

We love deeply and quickly and we are up front about how we feel about someone. But that let's them take advantage of us however they want while we are blindsided.

At 15 my parents put me in therapy and she told me "so you just pick bad men"...

I wish I could go back and tell baby me that it wasn't my fault.

That no, I am just open and tell the truth and expect that from my boyfriend as well. He's just bad. It isn't about me.

Even in good relationships I've had my man just start not telling me things because he's able to because I don’t see it.

Now I have hella relationship anxiety and trust issues and I sometimes just want to cry because WHY can't people just tell you how they feel and MEAN IT. Stop playing stupid games 😭