r/AskMenOver50

I feel even more isolated than ever before. I don't have many friends any more. I'm male, single, never married, never dated. I hate myself because i feel old, fat, ugly and unwanted. What few friends i have are married with children and good careers. A couple are divorced now. I feel so stuck in my life. I wake up sad every day. I don't have anyone i can talk to. I think my antidepressant medication isn't working anymore. I don't know what to do.

What’s more likely if we’re being honest, in a social setting do most guys just feel attraction or not?

Lately I’ve been stuck in that middle ground where I can’t really tell what’s going on.

It’s not like I feel bad all the time , it’s more subtle than that. Just feeling a bit off most days.

My energy isn’t what it used to be. Workouts feel harder even though I’m not doing anything differently, and recovery is definitely slower now. Even when I sleep okay, I still wake up like I didn’t fully reset.

The mental side is probably what I notice most , less drive, less focus, and I’m not as sharp or motivated as I remember being a few years ago. Not depressed, just kind of muted.

I’ve tried tightening things up , sleep, routine, diet, consistency , but it hasn’t really made much difference.

That’s what got me looking into hormones and testosterone in general, but the more I read, the more mixed the opinions seem.

M not trying to jump to conclusions just wondering if others here went through a similar phase before things became clearer.

I’m a big fan, only 26 years old though, the time of Bruce was way past the years of my upbringing. But through the internet, I became infatuated with him and his seemingly superhuman feats. I can only imagine how impactful he was in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. I heard the black community took Eastern martial arts very seriously because of Bruce. Joey Diaz joked “you walk out of the theater of a Bruce Lee movie ready to fuck up your dad if he looked at you funny”. I have Bruce Lees biography and in his early years of being an actor there were folk tales about Bruce that spread through word of mouth. So how big was he for you?

Hey there.

I am 39 (wife is 38) and about to have my first kid, a boy. I am excited but sometimes I wonder about how it’s going to be as an older dad. I was laid off at the beginning of the year and we have some dough but I am struggling to find work right now, so admittedly a little freaked out there too.

Any advice from you guys who are raising teens in your 50s or college kids in your 60s, or just anyone coming from a similar situation?

Thank you in advance.

I'm 51 and the past year or two I began to feel lost. Happily married to my best friend, finances good, strong faith in God, retirement looking great, health good, empty nester and kids doing good, work a bit stressed....work for fed govt, but getting better, etc. This past fall we bought a new house and moved 15 minutes out of town. My life went to hell. I really had buyers regret, relocation issues, etc. I got depressed. No motivation. I think it was a bit more than the house. I'm getting better but feel a bit lost. Not sure if this is normal with aging. My brother passed away this past fall and my VA counselor said that having a sibling pass away can be a life changing event. I wasn't close with him and she said that didn't matter. I feel like my perspective in life has changed. My life, on paper, looks good. I have a breakdown on occasion, feel like I'm not in control, etc. I'm going to get some more in-person discussions with a counselor. Hopefully, its just a blip and I'll be back in my saddle. Any advice or stories you'd like to share would be great....thanks!

My (M54) wife (F57) went on what can only be described as two dates with another guy. She swears nothing physical happened but i have no way to verify that, of course. I found out by questioning her; otherwise I don't think she would have told me.

I don't know how to react beyond feeling betrayed.

What would you do?

I always heard from people in general that kidney stones are one of the worst physical pain a human can experience and recently My uncle(43) had a 9mm kidney stone, he who is a physically fit guy and a blue-collar worker with a pretty high tolerance for pain, has been in a couple of accidents: a motorcycle crash, a cycling injury, a slipped disc, and a torn ligament and ACL where he injured his hand. According to him, nothing hurt more than a kidney stone. He described it as another level of pain—an out-of-this-world kind of pain that can’t be described until you experience it yourself and feel how truly horrible and agonizing it is. He truly felt like he was about to die.He was screaming nonstop at the hospital; it was pretty scary. A nurse in her 50s said to me that she also happened to have had kidney stones before, and she has four adult children. She said she would rather choose to have another child herself than have to experience a kidney stone again.For men who have had kidney stones before, how did it feel for you? Is it true for you as well that they are the most painful physical pain you’ve ever had in your life?like on aa scale of one to ten how much is it?

My brother-in-law is turning 60. When he turned 50, I made a bucket of things like alka seltzer and preparation H with a big sign that used candy bars names in the sentiment.

What can I do for 60?

Its been 18 months & still heart broken. I had a relationship with a man for 2 years- we are both in 50s. We had a falling out (while everything was good previously) and he essentially disappeared. He immediately broke up (although not verbally) by taking me home & telling me it would take a “long time to get over me”. He told me he had never loved any one the way he loved me, we were planning our future together, even talked to an investment advisor about what retirement would look like, told me he never had better sex, I was his best friend, etc. We had a cruise coming up in 6 months that he cancelled and removed me from his social media. I am bewildered! How do you just exit a relationship like that? We promised each other that if we had problems we would go to therapy. I didn’t even get that opportunity. I keep thinking maybe I should reach out? I haven’t because Im afraid of rejection. I still love him & don’t know what to do. Any feed back is greatly appreciated!

This is a question for anyone in a long term or an age gap relationship. I’m 34 and my husband is 54. We’ve been together for 12 years. We have a great relationship, but sex has always been an issue. There is rarely any of it, and it’s because he doesn’t have the desire. Can other men relate? Does it get easier for the woman/ how to deal with feelings of rejection? Looking for some advice so I’m not feeling alone.

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

His message when he wish me happy Eid was rhe 19 march and no more text from him.. and he will never text me again if I don’t answer to his lazy message.. what should I do.. ?

Edit: Someone also told me this « I am not talking about you personally but just in general. When someone becomes a caregiver for any reason, they start seeing that person as a child, a problem, a patient. That is not sexy and after years, that old feeling is probably not coming back. You probably can’t fix this and neither can he. He was wrestling with his feelings for you and trying to accept that parent/child, caregiver/patient dynamic. He may well feel like he is settling for less and if he continues, this will be the rest of his life. Flip the narrative and maybe you will understand.You need to put yourself first. Let him go and move on yourself. What happened to you was not your fault. Be glad things improved. Be glad he hung around and helped with the heavy lifting, many BFs would not have stayed as long as he did. If I was dating someone who stopped working, cried every day, and just sat around the house, no sex, no fun, I would eventually leave. Wouldn’t you? I might love this person but I need a partner, not a patient. I would think of our relationship as toxic and not good for me. » do you agree 🥺?

I (52F) recently started dating a 54 yo man. We have connected on so many levels, including PIV sex. It's been amazing for both of us.

Last night I had my period, so I offered a BJ. He went absolutely crazy. Definitely the most intense orgasm I have seen him have. Which was great and fun to know I could do that for him.

But now I'm feeling a bit inadequate for when we go back to PIV. I do my kegels, I try to even clamp down a bit, and he says he can feel when I orgasm. I do always incorporate mouth play, but not to completion.

I'm trying to equate it to G-spot vs clitoral orgasm, but I'm now wondering if PIV will be inadequate now. I mean, I could give a BJ every time, but we're not young and a second round takes some time and I want to enjoy myself as well.

I guess I'm just looking for a male perspective on this experience. TIA

I've been done cohabitating for some years now. I am planning on leaving in December. I will tell her and her daughter that I'm done and other living arrangements need to be made. I'm leaving the state immediately. Her daughter will take her in because she can't afford to live on her own. I pay all the living expenses for both of us.

Has anyone else been through this? How did it go?

Thanks.

Okay the funniest thing ever is happening my life lately.

I keep opening my mouth to ask for for things I’d like (from institutions or companies) not in a rude way just like directly asking, and people are actually responding.

Im floored. Im the type that usually acts patient or just plays nice. I swear if you just open your mouth it SEEMS like you actually get things done (on other people’s ends). Idk what to say.

Google Gemini says that institutions and companies are lazy so being direct (again not rude or Karen like or entitled), just lets them know “hey, im watching! I’d like the results I asked/paid for please.” I worked customer service so trust me I know what Karen’s look like.

This sounds defensive. But honestly im NOT:

Yelling

Cursing

Attacking people

Giving personal insults

Calling people incompetent

Just like, asking direct questions like “when will this service be rendered?” Or getting money back when I was charged for something the company messed up. Or staying on their neck if they’re ignoring me, when THEY did something wrong to begin with. Like im just making sure I get what I actually am owed business wise. Not just being meek and “oh thank you for being so nice even though this product is garbage”.

Gemini says “You’ve basically discovered the "Cheat Code" for navigating 2026 bureaucracy: **Be the person who makes it harder for them to stay lazy than to just do their job.”**