do i want to be her or be with her?
im a 20f collage student. this is the first time im explaining myself. i always had a thing for beautiful or cute girls/women since my childhood (i would give my snacks in elementary school because there was a really baby cute girl) like i would saw a beautiful adult woman and think 'omg she is so perfect'. it kept in middle school too i even had something for my friend (im still not sure if its love, affection or just a friend i get jelly when she talks to others). i had a lot of lewd dreams in highschool with girls, saw myself kissing or be naked w them. but i never fell in love. i always loved romance dramas and adore the male leads there. and had affection for men, im sure of that. but i also watched a lot of gay dramas in middle school (they were mlm) and im not sure if i am bisexual or a heterosexual who wsnts to be prettier because i like men. i still look around and think inside 'how pretty she is, how cute she is' etc. i love warmness when i hug my girl friends but idk if they are enough to prove. i cannot be sure of my sexuality or romance choice. i also always wanted to be cuter and prettier. when did you realize your sexuality or choices? did you ever think like this?