r/AskHRUK

TLDR: Manager is homophobic at work and my claims are invalidated by higher management. What should I do?

Hello! I (M26) have been at my workplace for almost 2 years, and across the time have experienced a few homophobic comments towards me from one of my managers, which have been witnessed by other managers who did not take any further action. I was also sexually harrassed by a male colleague and received homophobic abuse from a customer, but this was never taken seriously enough for me to be able to raise it further.

I had a meeting yesterday with the general manager who basically tried to insinuate that my feelings were exaggerated, and that it is possible that the blatant homophobic comments made by a manager (who has reposted homophobic material on his Instagram - which I was told off for bringing up as apparently it is irrelevant even though it goes against the company's EDI and Social Media policies) were just innocent curiosity. These comments include suggestions that gay people go against nature because they cannot reproduce, and that he does not want members of the LGBTQ+ community to push it in his face. I was also told in this meeting that he cannot be homophobic as he has only made these comments to me and not other gay people in the workplace. I was also made to feel that because I am only 26, I have not seen the great progress made in LGBTQ+ rights in the UK (which, I might add, are currently ranked at their lowest level for a long time). My general manager also compared my experience with lifelong homophobia to when he used to receive a few comments at school for being from Eastern Europe, which has nothing to do with the matter at hand.

The solution that my general manager has provided is that he will ask the other manager to stop speaking to me. Bearing in mind that this manager already does not even greet me, but only chooses to talk to me when he wants to talk about my sexuality.

The meeting I had yesterday further proves my claims that I am not being taken seriously here, and thus would like to know what I can do to raise this further.

Ideally, I believe that my homophobic manager should be dismissed. I do not understand how they can let someone whose opinions, which yesterday they told me that he was entitled to despite them being harmful towards myself, clash so strongly with the values of their company continue to work here, especially as we are currently working closely with an LGBTQ+ organisation. I also cannot believe the treatment that I received in the meeting yesterday, which seemed to only invalidate my perfectly reasonable claims and made me seem like I am exaggerating and do not know what I am talking about.

Where do I go from here?

Hi, i left my job where in the contract it states that if i leave or am dismissed then any remaining holiday pay will be paid to me in my final pay, i left my job one month ago and only received the hours worked for in my pay on the last payday (1st may) I have messaged my manager twice regarding the issue and she’s left me on read both times. What do i do ?

also i’m sorry if i used the wrong flair im not sure which one my query comes under

I am an intensive care nurse for the nhs.

I have a medical condition that I take medication for. The medication in question gives me unfortunate side effects - dry mouth, hot flushes, and very occasionally, dizziness. I used to keep my water bottle on me at work, storing it on a counter nearby. I take this home with me after shift. It is wipeable with disinfectant wipes.

Work have since banned water bottles from the clinical area, and now you must store your bottles on a trolley directly outside of the room. I am currently stuck as my work have straight up refused my request that I keep my water bottle on me.

My reasoning for my request is the frequency of which I need to drink in order to manage my symptoms. Not to mention the fact that when caring for very sick patients, it does not seem very practical for me to continuously leave the room to go get a drink.

I have been advised that my request is not unreasonable however despite two letters from my doctor, work keep hitting back that due to infection control, water bottles are not allowed.

I would appreciate some input as to where I stand.

Thank you.

I work in the Civil Service. My manager keeps confusing me with another brown guy on my team. We are of similar age, but have completely different names and look totally different.

I'm mildly annoyed when he gets us confused, but usually just gently correct him, to which he will apologise and make some sort of comment about his 'brain not being switched on' etc.

It's been over a year in the role, and the habit shows no signs of stopping. I feel like escalating it to a complaint or talking to his manager, is way too far, but at the same time, it's not nice when he does it in front of other colleagues. It feels demeaning.

How can I address this? I don't believe he is doing it out of malice. He's an older man, past the age of retirement - so out of respect, I don't want to upset him.

I’ve just started a new position and asked for a slight change to my start/finish times to help with childcare. HR came back and said they don’t even have to consider it until I’ve been there for 26 weeks. I was under the impression the right to request flexible working is now a day-one right? Is there any reason they can just refuse to look at it because I’m new?

I work for a large multinational company and am being made redundant. I've been offered a new role at the same company, but on worse terms than were advertised.

Recently I applied for a role that was advertised as a job grade higher than mine. Shortly after, redundancies were announced. After the collective consultation my role was put at risk and my final individual consultation meeting was scheduled.

At the last moment my meeting was postponed and immediately afterwards I was offered the role I applied for - but at my current (lower) job grade, current package, etc. Exactly the same job, just on worse terms. This isn't as a redeployment as part of the consultation: it's the result of the application I made earlier.

I've said I'm unhappy with the offer, but ultimately they have me over a barrel here: I work in a niche job and the job market is poor. That said, the hiring manager has offered to discuss the issue with his manager and I'm waiting on the result of that.

I assume that this is a "take it or leave it" situation: a choice between taking the role at a lower grade than was advertised, or continuing with the redundancy. However, is there anything I should know about that might improve my position?

Not the usual post I think. I have a new line manager and from the moment I met him, I was unsure of him. I let it slide and carried on.

I had been booked onto a few courses that would really help my career, publicly he supported me but privately he would say things or drop lines that he would not be supportive.

Then the first one hit, I got an E-mail advising that as per request, I had been removed from the fundamentals of Project management. I read down the chain and my manager had asked for me to be removed and replaced with him.

I was livid, I called him and asked about it. He just said that I didn’t need the course as I don’t look after projects(untrue)

Two days later, I get an Email with my start date for business management degree, which my previous had helped me get onto. immediately he advised the course leader that I was not ready for the course and had me removed.

Yesterday he had my IOSH course cancelled. Again I called him and he simply said that he didn’t think I needed it and I was already about to do the SMSTS course (which I don’t need and already cover in my CITB black managers card) and then let slip he was booked onto both the IOSH and NEBOSH courses.

I know that he is currently doing his HNC Construction management through work which I already have and I think he doesn’t want me doing anything that he hasn’t already got. Not extending me the same courtesy that’s been extended to him.

I work for a company that say they pride themselves on training and progression but so far I have had 3 of the 4 courses I’ve been booked in cancelled for petty reasons.

We are also highly unionised and I am in RMT. Would I be petty to take this up with them. I am really mad but I also like the rest of my team and don’t want to cause tension.

Edit: I have decided that I am going to try and find another position in the company or find a better Position outside of it. I am In no rush to find something new so hopefully I can find something thought out.

This whole process has now taken over a year and I've been informed I'm being taken to disciplinary at the end of the month. I have received no evidence about what I 'inferred' or any evidence at all relating to the case.

Communication has been abysmal. I suffer from GAD and informed my employer and people involved and they advised they would keep me updated. They haven't.

I have never been provided an opportunity to provide evidence myself as I was asked to provide evidence whilst off sick, and I couldn't. I was also interviewed whilst mentally unwell.

When I returned to work I've attempted 3 times to provide evidence to have this declined each time & told I will need to wait until the appeals process. Is this correct?

My evidence also contains information from my GP, confirming health issues that could potentially have played a role. Surely this is disability discrimination?

Whilst I was advised i would be taken to disciplinary action at my grievance outcome meeting, I have now been invited to another investigation meeting, not a disciplinary meeting. I'm concerned that I'm being asked to defend myself against allegations again, and yet a year later I still have not been provided any evidence so i can defend myself properly.

My employer refused to respond to ACAS. I feel incredibly unsupported and mentally unwell. I put in a grievance about the length of time and lack of communication which was upheld, but then had 3 months of zero communication. My employer is one of the biggest employers in the UK so I expected better.

My husband has been notified that due to his company’s contract ending, he has now been put on notice of redundancy and given garden leave for 3 months until the end of July.

In the meantime they will continue to look for a role within the company, however he has a very specialist role which seems unlikely.

He has been offered a role with a new employer who has taken over the contract to start on June 1st, but he is not being offered redundancy, and ideally would prefer to have that and accept the new role.

Will his company make him stay until the garden leave expires before paying his redundancy? Can he request redundancy and can they reject it?

Thanks

Bit of a complicated situation, but I'll try and simplify it as much as possible;

Essentially - my employer is undergoing a massive, institution-wide restructure, citing cost-saving as the reason.

Although I have been matched to a job role in the new structure (there's a vacancy which is similar enough to a role that I've had in the past that I can just move into it without interview) it's for a job which I really, really don't want (I had several months off work with stress because of that role).

I don't want to take the job, but I don't want to apply for voluntary severance because there are a few other roles which might open up which I want to apply for (and I can't do that if I've taken voluntary severance).

What happens if I don't take voluntary severance or accept the role? Can they force me to take a role? Do I get put into redeployment, and then forced to take a role? If I keep rejecting offers do I just lose my job, as if I'd handed in my notice, or do they eventually have to pay me a severance package?

I can provide more information if needed.

Thanks in advance.

Hello.

I am coming up to the end of my 4 year lease I have had on a car provided by my business.
The p11d value is £39,950 and is a PHEV with a BIK rate of 14% costing me around £93 in tax per month.

The business has now stated that I am to not get a new company car and recieve £600pm in a car allowance. Of which I believe I will keep £348 after tax and NI etc.

According to my contract I have had in place for 11 years

“Whilst you continue to perform a role which requires use of a vehicle we shall supply you with a vehicle of such make and model and value determined by us”

I am a sales manager and as such visit customers and clients on a weekly basis and as such still require a vehicle to get around.

I am willing to compromise to some extent if they are completely unwilling to start a new lease. Despite the lease costing less per month than is spent on the car allowance.

What extra salary increase would I need to offset this?

Ive been contacted by a previous direct report to be a reference for a job application they're making. However, they were semi-recently dismissed for 2 counts of gross misconduct (social media policy & staff-student conduct policy). For context, this individual is now suing my employer because they think they got dismissed for disability discrimination.

Some part of me wants to tell them to go away and never contact me again after being this person's "support they bring into HR meetings" and learning what happened. But part of me feels a duty to let their employer know about the misconduct as I'd feel horrifically guilty if this person did what they did again..

How do I approach this? How can I write a bullet proof reference that informs the prospective employer without opening myself up to being sued or something? Do I say yes to being a reference but get my HR department to write the matter of fact for me?

I'm currently subject to a workplace investigation.

However, a similar situation happened last year (I was suspended from work for 4 months) before I was cleared of wrongdoing and allowed to return to work. The outcome letter, tl;dr made a few recommendations to my managers, and told me to up my game, but cleared my of any serious wrongdoing.

I asked if I could see the report at the time but my employers policy is that investigation reports are not usually shared if it does not go to a hearing (mine didn't).

However, in gathering evidence for my current investigation, I asked again if I could see this report. To my surprise, I was allowed to see it last week by a member of the HR team, albeit warned to treat it "with the strictest of confidence".

The report clears me of wrongdoing and makes a series of recommendations of Performance Improvement Plans that would mean I would be able to keep up with training and understand areas that I could do better in.

None of the recommendations in the report were carried out. And I feel this is relevant to the current investigation. I have a meeting later in the week in which I will be asked to submit evidence. Mindful of the "strictest of confidence" message, would it be appropriate to share last years report and mention that the recommendations in the report were not carried out? Or would this be considered improper practice?

So my partner in January was 3 months pregnant with twins and developed hyperemesis (which is definitely not for the faint of heart).

She was signed off sick whilst she was throwing up, and then sadly miscarried at 3 and a half at the end of Jan.

Since then she’s had a lot of ups and downs with emotions, it’s hit her really hard, she’s also had 3 week long periods which are extremely painful and keeps getting migraines which the doctor says is linked to the hormones?

Skip to yesterday, she’d had a day off in the week due to a migraine and she came back into work and her manager had printed off a list of all of her days off (including the pregnancy related ones) and told her they’re going to refer her to occupational health as she’s crossed the Bradford factor.

She loves her job, she was just exceptionally unfortunate.

- we also found out that she must have been referred in mid April? She received an email asking her to make an account with the occu health people lol.

What are the options, next steps? Can they do this is it’s pregnancy related?

Thanks in advance for any advice!

i'm head of people at a UK scale-up and 5 weeks after JSL came in on 6 April we still don't have a clean answer on what to do with our 14 long-running contractors.

our employment lawyer's read is that the umbrella route we've used for years now lands the PAYE and NIC liability on us if the umbrella ever falls over, with no due diligence defence.

Fine in theory, but I've got 14 people who've been embedded for 2 to 5 years, consider themselves part of the team, and half are at career stages where a move to PAYE means an £8-12k drop in net pay that's utterly destabilizing.

the options are keep them on umbrella and live with the exposure, move them to PAYE under direct employment (which is cleanest for us and worst for them), or shift to a real EOR where they sit as employees of the EOR entity with proper contracts of employment.

CIPD guidance leans real-EOR but is thin on the practical comparison.

shortlist is Deel, Remote, Oyster, and Workmotion, and i can't get a straight answer from any of them on which run UK as a true Employer of Record vs which run umbrella structures with EOR painted on the door, since the second one walks us straight back into the JSL liability we're trying to escape.

if anyone's been through this in the last few weeks, how did you handle the contractor side of the conversation, and which provider held up once you got past the sales pitch?

Help, this is a question on behalf of my partner but his HR keep sending him round in circles.

His company restructured last month, merging two areas together. This resulted in some redundancy and re-interviewing for jobs, where employees were allocated roles which closely matched their skills / previous roles.

My husband’s original job was remote as it required national travel, with an office ‘base’ in Glasgow for wider team meetings etc. his contract stated this.

The new role he’s been allocated covers only the east of Scotland (vs the whole country), which is fine as he was prepared to travel and still has remote working in part of the role, however on his new contract they’ve adjusted his ‘base’ to Edinburgh.

This means now that none of his travel is covered until he reaches Edinburgh - he’s based in Glasgow. This now means he’s upwards of an 1-2 hours travel + mileage (estimated 50 miles return?!) he can’t claim until he hits Edinburgh.

Obviously this will be a huge financial, time and mileage hit for him. It seems like his contract has been changed because the company are aware of the lieu and expenses time he would be claiming.

Given he was originally hired and his contract stated Glasgow for his base, can his HR change this with the restructure?

He was allocated this role by the company following interview, so it’s not like he applied for it specifically. Would Union involvement be beneficial at this point?

To add, his whole team is based in Glasgow.

I started a new job in October last year and have just passed my probation review. At the review my assessor mentioned that the company has an excellent perks and benefits package and that I'd receive details of this shortly. I followed up with the head of our department who also deals with our HR. This was her response:

I need to give you access however the person who showed me how to do it is no longer with the business so I’m trying to find someone else to show me again. It’s been years since I had to do it so I’m afraid I don’t remember what to do. Bear with me but I’ll be honest it's not top of my priorities at the minute, but I will try to get it sorted in the next few months.

As much as I appreciate her honestly, having a timeline of months doesn't seem appropriate, especially as this should have been in place since October. The company is a large international organisation, which I'm sure has an HR department. The department head is often sending emails very early, very late, at weekends and during her holidays. She is clearly overworked and I have sympathy with her situation. From what I can pull from the Internet (which may or may not be correct), the benefits include buying/selling holiday, employee clubs, income protection, life insurance, health scheme and retail discounts. It sounds amazing.

I think it's probably best for this responsibility to sit with HR and be taken off my head of dept's plate. I can't see it turning out well if I went striaght to HR and if I go back to the head then I don't have any faith that I will ever get access. When my assessor first started my training he mentioned not to get on the wrong side of the head. He is currently on holiday, but I expect that he will do his best not to get involved. There were three of us who started at the same time, and I expect none of us have access. I don't work in the office so can't get advice from other staff because I've never met them.

Any ideas on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated! 😊

Hey All, I’ve been having some rough times at work lately and have put together a little email for my People Team. I was hoping to get your opinion on the letter and any advice is very welcome, thank you in advance!

“
Dear People Team,

I hope you’re doing well.

I wanted to bring a matter to your attention that’s important to me. On 13th April, during our team meeting, my Manager l made a comment that I found quite uncomfortable. Specifically, when I was climbing the stairs to join everyone in the boardroom, Patrick was walking behind me when he said “ You have a perfect shape of your bicycle seat on your butt”, which made me feel uneasy given my personal history of Sexual harassment in and outside of work and unfortunately reality of me having experienced SA.

Further moreover soon after the new head barista joined our house I started received a extra amount of attention via minutes long slack voice notes explaining how she appreciates me and offering to treat me to dinner, her calling me “baby” on shift and on an occasion when she was standing behind the grinders, I asked her to top-up One of the espresso grinders so I’d have proper downward pressure in the chamber she responded with “ I’ll put the pressure on you” with a grin on her face, etc. After about a week or so of her being consistently affectionate and me not reciprocating beyond friendly conversation/subtly signalling that I’m not looking for that kind of attention her mood shifted drastically to more irritable and slightly hostile towards me. Overall when under pressure she’s prone to a stressed demeanour and slamming things on the counter. As someone who has quite a bit negative experience with violent and aggressive behaviour I find those moments extremely stressful and draining to cope with.

For my well-being, I’d like to request a reassignment to another site.

I appreciate your understanding and support.

Kindest regards
(They/them)

“

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

Hi all,

First post here, so please be gentle with me.

I have seen a HR role going near me that I am really interested in applying for. It's an NHS Band 4, so entry level-ish, the job description isn't specifically looking for people with existing HR experience 🥳.

I just have a few questions for people working in HR:

Is HR still a safe career option?

I feel it is a field I would really enjoy working in and I can see viable career progression, but I am concerned that things like the dominance of AI could mean it is more at risk as a profession than I realise. Is the human element of HR still as much of a protective factor as I am thinking?

Also, the job description does not specifically ask for existing HR experience, but it does ask for a demonstrable knowledge of HR. I am more than happy to read up and learn, but how would I best convey that on an application?

I have spent my entire career working in the NHS, and I think I could be really good at this job. I am also excited for a role with career progression again as I am ambitious and would like to work my way up, do more, earn more.

Thanks for reading and any advice.