u/twinkling_deer

I’m writing a long form essay about late stage capitalism. I won’t go into great detail about the text online. My credentials are that I’m a fourth year Public Finance major, which is a bachelor’s degree focused on government budgets, administrative law, policymaking, the public sector, taxation, and related fields. I'm planning on getting a journalism or political science masters after my degree.

I started this project about a month ago and spoke to a professor about it, though he is not from my university. My original plan was to publish it as a research paper through open access at either University of Cambridge or University of Oxford, since my university is part of EKUAL, which covers open access publication fees once a paper is accepted.

The professor has published papers in Q1 journals himself. He said he liked my topic and that I seem genuinely passionate about it, but from his own experience he explained that academic publishing has many unwritten rules. Even if the paper were excellent, reviewers would still see my Google Scholar profile, notice that I am still an undergraduate student with no prior publications, and likely not take the submission seriously enough to fully review it.

Honestly, that makes sense. Editors often only have a short amount of time to decide whether to reject or move a paper forward. I also have no real experience writing a formal research paper, and I do not yet know how to support my arguments through econometrics or statistical analysis.

Yet I know the point I’m making is important, and I have only found a handful of sources online related to this topic across English, Turkish, and German results combined. None of them approach the topic in a fully integrated way, as they each treat it from only a single angle, which is understandable given how recent and still developing the issue is. And that makes me want to publish even more.

This professor recommended that I try emerging journals instead but it's still unlikely I'll get a yes. Since then, I’ve also considered publishing through a newspaper or another form of media, but I honestly have no idea how to approach that.

I don’t know whether it would even be realistic to apply to a major newspaper without credentials in journalism, prior publishing experience, or anyone experienced enough to review my writing beforehand and tell me whether it is actually good enough.

I’m also unsure about the legal side of it. Do people simply send the manuscript or PDF directly with no formal protection over their work beforehand? I genuinely do not know how that process works.

If anyone here has experience with academic publishing, opinion journalism, or long form writing, I’d really appreciate advice in the comments or DMs.

I’m writing a long form essay about late stage capitalism. I won’t go into great detail about the text online. My credentials are that I’m a fourth year Public Finance major, which is a bachelor’s degree focused on government budgets, administrative law, policymaking, the public sector, taxation, and related fields. I'm planning on getting a journalism or political science masters after my degree.

I started this project about a month ago and spoke to a professor about it, though he is not from my university. My original plan was to publish it as a research paper through open access at either University of Cambridge or University of Oxford, since my university is part of EKUAL, which covers open access publication fees once a paper is accepted.

The professor has published papers in Q1 journals himself. He said he liked my topic and that I seem genuinely passionate about it, but from his own experience he explained that academic publishing has many unwritten rules. Even if the paper were excellent, reviewers would still see my Google Scholar profile, notice that I am still an undergraduate student with no prior publications, and likely not take the submission seriously enough to fully review it.

Honestly, that makes sense. Editors often only have a short amount of time to decide whether to reject or move a paper forward. I also have no real experience writing a formal research paper, and I do not yet know how to support my arguments through econometrics or statistical analysis.

Yet I know the point I’m making is important, and I have only found a handful of sources online related to this topic across English, Turkish, and German results combined. None of them approach the topic in a fully integrated way, as they each treat it from only a single angle, which is understandable given how recent and still developing the issue is. And that makes me want to publish even more.

This professor recommended that I try emerging journals instead but it's still unlikely I'll get a yes. Since then, I’ve also considered publishing through a newspaper or another form of media, but I honestly have no idea how to approach that.

I don’t know whether it would even be realistic to apply to a major newspaper without credentials in journalism, prior publishing experience, or anyone experienced enough to review my writing beforehand and tell me whether it is actually good enough.

I’m also unsure about the legal side of it. Do people simply send the manuscript or PDF directly with no formal protection over their work beforehand? I genuinely do not know how that process works.

If anyone here has experience with academic publishing, opinion journalism, or long form writing, I’d really appreciate advice in the comments or DMs.

I’m writing a long form essay about late stage capitalism. I won’t go into great detail about the text online. My credentials are that I’m a fourth year Public Finance major, which is a bachelor’s degree focused on government budgets, administrative law, policymaking, the public sector, taxation, and related fields. I'm planning on getting a journalism or political science masters after my degree.

I started this project about a month ago and spoke to a professor about it, though he is not from my university. My original plan was to publish it as a research paper through open access at either University of Cambridge or University of Oxford, since my university is part of EKUAL, which covers open access publication fees once a paper is accepted.

The professor has published papers in Q1 journals himself. He said he liked my topic and that I seem genuinely passionate about it, but from his own experience he explained that academic publishing has many unwritten rules. Even if the paper were excellent, reviewers would still see my Google Scholar profile, notice that I am still an undergraduate student with no prior publications, and likely not take the submission seriously enough to fully review it.

Honestly, that makes sense. Editors often only have a short amount of time to decide whether to reject or move a paper forward. I also have no real experience writing a formal research paper, and I do not yet know how to support my arguments through econometrics or statistical analysis.

Yet I know the point I’m making is important, and I have only found a handful of sources online related to this topic across English, Turkish, and German results combined. None of them approach the topic in a fully integrated way, as they each treat it from only a single angle, which is understandable given how recent and still developing the issue is. And that makes me want to publish even more.

This professor recommended that I try emerging journals instead but it's still unlikely I'll get a yes. Since then, I’ve also considered publishing through a newspaper or another form of media, but I honestly have no idea how to approach that.

I don’t know whether it would even be realistic to apply to a major newspaper without credentials in journalism, prior publishing experience, or anyone experienced enough to review my writing beforehand and tell me whether it is actually good enough.

I’m also unsure about the legal side of it. Do people simply send the manuscript or PDF directly with no formal protection over their work beforehand? I genuinely do not know how that process works.

If anyone here has experience with academic publishing, opinion journalism, or long form writing, I’d really appreciate advice in the comments or DMs.

I (22F) posted about wanting to immigrate a couple days ago. This is a little update of some sorts considering I've already mentioned that my mother is already talking about my marriage in future tense and making a bride trousseau (bridal "necessities" like cookware, duvet set ect), telling me I shouldn't just reject proposals so easily, and that she hopes I'll marry someone she arranges one day.

PSA:I don't think she'd "force" me to marry anyone per say. She's scared of matching incompatible people and being responsible for that. But she talks of marriage like it's inevitable. All of my trials of telling her I don't want marriage has been a mess (at least not with a man but I can't tell her)

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I met this lady on our street when I was returning from the gym. For context she's both a relative, a neighbour (she lives on the apartment across mine), her mother was my mom's friend (my mom is older, I'm an only child) she has two daughters one daughter is two years older than me the other is in high school.

I politely told her to come around one day for coffe and chat. She told me she will soon, I should give her 5 to 10 days before she can becouse she has to "do some things first" and that she has good news for me. I asked her what is it jokingly. She said that it's a suprise and that she can't tell me. She asked for 5 to 10 days again to get some things off first then she'll come and drink coffe from me.

Now I didn't think about this at first. She was throwing her old headboard with her younger daughter helping her. I just went back home and told my mother this. We talked about what it might be but didn't reach a conclusion.

Today we had a guest over, we were playing Uno. I remembered this and asked my mother if she may be pregnant. She said oh no I don't think so, she won't after this age and considering the age of her other two kids. My mother told me she's been thinking of another possibility but didn't tell me yet. It still hasn't clicked for me at this point.

Neighbour then called for some beans she forgot to buy for soup. My mother straight up asked her if she's pregnant, saying I speculated that. She said no, she's not pregnant and it's nothing like that. Then said to be patient and she'll come and talk to us about it in a couple days.

After this call ended the guest and my mom kind of looked at each other. My mom said to md "you know I think she might have a suitor for you". The guest also agreed. I felt like my guts twisted inside of me. I said not to say such things, why would that be. Maybe her eldest is getting married.

They both said if that were the case a couple days won't change anything she'd have said so already. I'm still unsure about this but I fear that might be the case considering she said "I have good news for you". It must be something personal, and we (as families) actually don't talk that often. But there's enough familiarity for that to happen since it's common in my culture.

I asked my mom to tell me if she's ever sent a picture of me to her for these things. She swore she didn't. But she must have a picture of me already. She can't give me a suitor before the "suitor" sees and approves of me first so there's no rejection to the girls side. That might be why she's waiting for a couple days if the man she has in mind already approved to at least see me. But I don't know why she'd need to wait.

I'm just freaking out here. I've already been told by people they have suitors for me but I was never told names becouse I'm still in university but now I'm in 4th years and although I'm extending my studies one extra year this marriage talk is getting more and more often.

Just today my mom bought be a stainless steel cutting board. I could only tell her not to buy such unnecessary things. That I can just buy them when and if I get married. She got defensive and told me it's just a cutting board and won't get out of style. I can just buy the big furniture to my taste.

I don't even know what to say at this point. I'm just so tired. I wish I could just run away and have a life overseas where I can be myself.

If you guys think about any other SIG ideas you'd like to see I might consider that too. You can also comment the features you'd like inside the SIG you'd want. All help is appreciated, if any members can help me make the newsletter or make a forum I'd appreciate it as well.

+The original philosophical discussion SIG is no longer current that's why I put that idea

PSA:This will take a while. I need to finish this semester and apply for summer school but I wanted to post this here beforehand to see what people think and want.

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I’m a 22 year old lesbian from a very homophobic family. Right now, I’m still in the closet. As long as I stay that way, I’m not in immediate physical or serious psychological danger. But if I come out, I can’t predict the outcome. I know the reaction would be negative, but I don’t know if it would escalate to actual physical harm.

My country doesn't "really" have anti-LGBT laws but it's still very homophobic (I'm Turkish)

My mother is very focused on my future marriage. She talks about it as something inevitable, even though I’ve repeatedly told her I don’t want to discuss it. I avoid directly saying I won’t marry at all (well at least not a man) because that would cause major conflict. Ironically, she takes pride in the fact that I’m not “boy crazy” and don’t center my life around relationships.

I also feel that timing matters. If I delay too long, especially into my late 20s, she will likely resist me moving or working abroad more strongly. Right now, she tolerates the idea only if she believes it’s temporary and won’t interfere with what she sees as my “marriage years.” Her main concern would be me forming a relationship with a foreign man but since I’ve never shown interest in relationships, she’s not overly suspicious.

She sounds more accepting when I talk about studying overseas instead of working overseas. Mostly becouse it's temporary with a time limit. She's even sent me scholarship videos for masters degree overseas.

However I fucked up, considering I've never paid much attention untill now (I'm a 4th year public finance bachelors student however I'll have to study an extra year). Becouse I thought I'd marry a man my mother chooses for me and fake happiness to not loose my family.

But lately it's been getting more and more like a probability than just a "hypothetical" I can tell myself to feel better. My mother won't necessarily "force" marriage onto me but it surely gets brought up often in future tense and I realised I have to lock in and get the hell out of here before it's too late. So I changed plans.

What do I do now? I hope if I can bring my GPA higher before graduation an get inside a masters programme overseas that'd help me get asylum or residency. Honestly I'm so tired. And I just wish I had a supportive family and damn human rights.

I'm also frustrated with myself becouse I wish I hadn't given up on life so easily and fucked my grades up now I have to fix this mess if I ever want to have a good life where I'm not living against myself.

Content warning: animal abuse, stealing addiction, spending addiction

This is not to get diagnosed, I’m just venting. My psychiatrist was moving toward me bringing my mother in to ask about my childhood to see if I have some kind of Cluster B disorder (didn't specify it). I stopped going after that because I don’t want a formal diagnosis affecting my life. Idk what I should do after this.

I (22F) do have a history of behavioral issues from my childhood, however I wasn’t a typical troublemaker. I had rage attacks (yelling, hitting myself), lying, stealing (not always frequent or caught), and once tried to fake running away to manipulate my family. I’ve had a few physical fights, usually triggered by me, but I generally avoided them as a child because I knew I’d get in trouble and probably lose anyway.

My mom didn’t remember my childhood diagnosis, so I thought it might be ODD from her discription, but it turned out to be family-confined conduct disorder. In my country you can’t directly access full records; I had to request them officially and wait for weeks. I was also later diagnosed with CPTSD years after that. I was adopted at birth, and trauma started around age 12 (not counting early adoption trauma).

Now what confuses me: as a child, even with these issues, I was also very into “humanitarian” stuff like equality, feminism, human rights, animal rights, environment. Which I still care about. But my empathy feels more “universal” than personal.

I have a moral code, but I’ve still done pretty messed up things. My strongest emotions come up when someone crosses certain lines, and I often have violent fantasies about people like abusers.

If there’s a victim but no clear perpetrator, I’ll usually help, but I feel adrenaline more than emotional concern.

With people I know, unless they’re very close, I don’t really feel attached. I might enjoy spending time with them, but if they died I’d feel nothing. I’ve even experienced that before. I’ve mourned places from my childhood that were renovated more than people. Whenever I feel anything about someone passing it's usually nostalgia about my childhood.

When my father died, I didn’t cry at all until the funeral when I saw his body and remembered good memories. I just felt uneasy untill that point becouse he was in a cold cascet on the room that was right under the one I stayed at. I felt sadness for ME losing him, not for him.

People feel more like objects. Even pets. When my pets died I just felt like I lost a toy. I only named them when asked because I felt abnormal not doing it. I'd feel like I was "caught" when I was asked.

As a child I also killed insects for fun and didn’t really think about consequences. Later I neglected a pet bird while my father was sick and it died; I didn’t process it at the time. I didn't even mean to do it I just didn't care enough to realise It was starving.

I don’t do animal abuse anymore and won’t have pets again I've came to that conclusion when I realised it's not normal.

At the same time, as a child I’ve also done things like hold funerals for pets and get upset when people didn’t take it seriously. So I don’t understand why I switch between extremes.

I just don’t understand myself. I feel alienated from being a “normal” person and like I can’t form real emotional connections no matter how hard I try. And I do want connection but it just never happens. I can fake connection but It doesn't click.

I know it might sound like I’m rushing things at 22, thinking about leaving my country and building a life somewhere else, even thinking about marriage and kids already. But the reality is I feel like if I don’t start planning this now, I might never have the life I want.

Where I live, being gay isn’t officially illegal, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe or accepted. The government, the social climate, the everyday attitudes from people. I'm in the closet but the things I hear people say about gay people make my stomach churn becouse they never know that that's about me. And they feel free to say how disgusting we are, and by definition I am. There is no real future here for someone like me who wants a good life, not just survival.

And that’s the part that hurts the most. If I were straight, this place could have been enough. Despite the economic problems and the politics, I could have built a life here. But I can’t. Not if I want something as basic as a partner, a family, a home where I don’t have to hide.

To live hones to myself, I would most likely have to loose my family. That’s not a small sacrifice. I don't wanna loose my mom. Or start over completely on the other side of the world with noone to help me. Let alone carrying that absence of family and support with me for the rest of my life.

I know for a fact if I just moved abroad my family and relatives would still ask about me. What do you even say to that? "I don't ever want to see you guys again becouse I'm living a path o know you all dispise and I want to cut contact so at least none of you can judge me and torture my poor mom with remarks?".

Relatives are one thing, what can I even say to my close family? "I know you'd hate me if you know the real me so I'll let you have the version of me that you remember and just think I grew distant after moving abroad?"

As for my mom. She's what keeps me up at night. She's homophobic of course just like everyone else here. But she's still my mother. My adoptive mother at that, she CHOOSE me. I can't bring myself to make the only person that actually choose who's still alive to hate me, and wish she never had me. I don't know what I'd do if she said she regrets me.

My father is dead so at least I don't have to worry about him. But my mom is sick and old. Or at least she was sick for a while, she's better now but I don't know how long that'll go for. If she ever has to be in my care at any time my whole future gets thrown out the window and that's scary.

And I know it's disgusting but sometimes I wish she never has to be cared for and simply passes before I have to abandon her or break the news for her.

Even if these were a given, i still have to finish my education, find a way to move abroad, secure a job in a country that actually recognizes my rights, and build stability from nothing. Only then can I even begin to think about meeting someone, falling in love, marriage. And then have a children through IVF or adoption.

I can't begin to describe the jealousy I feel when I see lesbian couples going through IVF. I'm obviously SO happy for them but it just hurts you know.

And there’s no guarantee any of it will work out. It could take years. It could fail at any step. That’s what makes it so heavy. I can do everything I can and I still might not have it. I just wish I could live a normal life. I don't even want much. Why does it have to be so hard?

What's so wrong about wanting a wife and a baby for god sake?

PSA: If you're under 18, please don't read this. This is an honest discussion about emotional masochism as a trauma response, meant to help people understand it better and satisfy curiosity. Creeps will be blocked and reported.

I don’t like relationships that are overly bubbly or conflict-free. I’m not into physical pain, but I am drawn to being confronted with the cracks in my personality, being told how flawed or messed up I am, while still being reassured that I’m chosen anyway. Soft slaps or hair pulling in private can also be part of it, because for me those acts feel more emotionally charged than physically painful.

I think this comes from wanting to be fully known, both the good and the bad. Deep down, I don’t think I believe someone can truly know me and love me at the same time, so my brain found a loophole: let someone see all of me, let them dislike parts of it, and have them choose me anyway.

There's something appealing to me about letting someone hurt me and still know they have my best interest at heart. Kind of a phobia turned philia situation.

Honestly, if someone knew me as deeply as I know myself or maybe even more and had absolutely no issue with anything, that would almost unsettle me more. I’m turned on by the idea of someone knowing me so deeply it feels invasive or uncomfortable, and still loving me despite every logical reason not to.

I don’t really have an anxious attachment style, but I do have a mixed attachment style.

I don’t make friends easily or emotionally invest in people often. Letting people in feels almost physically uncomfortable because of how vulnerable it is. As you might have guessed it doesn't necessarily come from me being so much more evil than other people since I also don't seek to know other people's minds too deeply either. I obsess over understanding people sometimes becouse it's interesting but I don't necessarily try to know them.

Note: This is not an invitation for anyone to try this with me. As I said, it’s already very hard for me to let people in. And it doesn’t mean much when someone gives generic degradation without actually knowing me.

I’m a verified Mensa member diagnosed ADHD, and a long history of mental health/behavioral issues (family confined conduct disorder). As a kid, I was tested multiple times by psychiatrists/psychologists and was classified “twice exceptional.”

I got into college during a full mental health crisis without studying, and I rarely needed to study in school at all. High intelligence helped in some ways, but definitely didn’t protect me from self-destruction.

I’ve also had my psychiatrists question possible cluster b personality disorder / bipolar traits, and I recently quit treatment after clashing with one over family-history questions. Becouse I fear diagnosis affecting my life. I know that sounds chaotic, because it is. I’ll likely go back soon since I’ve been self-sabotaging badly.

I’ve done things I’m ashamed of, things I’m proud of, and a lot that make no sense even to me. Having a high IQ while also dealing with impulsivity, dysfunction, and mental health issues is a weird combination people misunderstand.

You can AMA about how it's like with high iq, mental illness and how my mind works.

If you also have a shopping and/or stealing addiction please get help as soon as you can the moment you realise something is wrong bc I'm so done for rn. So there comes around 50.000k of debt for me. Genuinely wtf is wrong with me? I feel disgusted with myself. My life is just a constant cycle of buying random things and food for no reason and putting myself in debt and obesity. Stealing from my mother and feeling like shit about it but still doing it bc I'm a greedy pig.

I'm failing in university and I have no plans for myself except for instant gratification. I'm already 1 year behind my curriculum I should be graduated this summer but instead I'll be in school while my classmates are already in their careers/getting a masters. My GPA is so low it's embarrassing to say so I lie about it.

I don't work. I've tried 3 jobs and they were too hard on my body. I have hEDS so I get joint pain alot already dislocated a couple of joints. I'm the most incompetent person I know.

I feel so lost and disgusted with myself. Especially wondering how I can so easily ruin my own life. It's a disgusting feeling to know you're a person you can't rely on.

I've dyed my debt of and gotten back in debt many times. I've been caught by my mother after I stole money or ran through my savings many times in the last year or so. And I'm sure my cousins and aunts also know considering my mother asked my cousin in front of everyone if my cousin can see where so much money went.

At that point I've been taking money little by little and I didn't realise how much it ended up being. She had to take more credit after that. Just as we paid it off I now used up my credit card and overdraft account AND charged my phone bill thousands as well.

How tf do I even get myself out of this mess? I've applied to a couple jobs. No answer from any of them. I'll try to teach English or my own language online to get money but idk how to close this debt before it's late. We were supposed to apply for a visa for summer but I have the excuse of summer school now (which I'll actually attend but it's still convenient).

I've stolen 2 grams of gold off which I'll have to pay until next month AND 5k (112$) for my bill. At total around 406$. This is like the immediate ones. Then there's another 710$ without the interest. I don't even know what to think.

TL;DR: I didn't realise it was that bad. I obviously KNEW it was bad but my god. How did I even waste that much money I still don't understand.

Please get help as soon as you can the moment you realise something is wrong bc I'm so done for rn. So there comes around 50.000k of debt for me. Genuinely wtf is wrong with me? I feel disgusted with myself. My life is just a constant cycle of buying random things and food for no reason and putting myself in debt and obesity. Stealing from my mother and feeling like shit about it but still doing it bc I'm a greedy pig.

I'm failing in university and I have no plans for myself except for instant gratification. I'm already 1 year behind my curriculum I should be graduated this summer but instead I'll be in school while my classmates are already in their careers/getting a masters. My GPA is so low it's embarrassing to say so I lie about it.

I don't work. I've tried 3 jobs and they were too hard on my body. I have hEDS so I get joint pain alot already dislocated a couple of joints. I'm the most incompetent person I know.

I feel so lost and disgusted with myself. Especially wondering how I can so easily ruin my own life. It's a disgusting feeling to know you're a person you can't rely on.

I've dyed my debt of and gotten back in debt many times. I've been caught by my mother after I stole money or ran through my savings many times in the last year or so. And I'm sure my cousins and aunts also know considering my mother asked my cousin in front of everyone if my cousin can see where so much money went.

At that point I've been taking money little by little and I didn't realise how much it ended up being. She had to take more credit after that. Just as we paid it off I now used up my credit card and overdraft account AND charged my phone bill thousands as well.

How tf do I even get myself out of this mess? I've applied to a couple jobs. No answer from any of them. I'll try to teach English or my own language online to get money but idk how to close this debt before it's late. We were supposed to apply for a visa for summer but I have the excuse of summer school now (which I'll actually attend but it's still convenient).

I've stolen 2 grams of gold off which I'll have to pay until next month AND 5k (112$) for my bill. At total around 406$. This is like the immediate ones. Then there's another 710$ without the interest. I don't even know what to think.