r/shoppingaddiction

Looking at “how to overcome shopping addiction” —this first sentence of the section: “Overcoming shopping addiction requires finding healthier ways to manage stress and emotional challenges.” My brain went straight to “I’ll take up running and so I need to buy running shoes and clothes.” 🙄 I feel like my brain will always go this way and all I can really do is to remove my access to money.

Hi, I’m currently a uni student (24 F) and long story short I was using my savings account money that my parents made and saved to shop. I always felt guilty about using it, but I just couldn‘t stop using the money and buying stuff. I would need to buy things to look forward to something in life.

I just got a phone call from my mom asking if I knew anything about why my savings account money is less than she last checked. (I used a lot of it) I knew I could not keep it to myself and also feeling a sense of relief that they found out and admitted to my mom that it was me. I’m at my part time job right now so when I get home I will definitely have to tell them truthfully. I hate myself for not being able to control myself and will lose my parent‘s trust for this. But at the same time I’m so relieved that they found out because honestly, I can’t control myself.

I’m autistic and have adhd so I’ve always collected things but my main issue with shopping started around lockdown. I collected in volumes I never had previously.

And it is now causing issues with my partner

We have recently moved in together and I think he’s more overwhelmed by the volume of stuff I own than he’s willing to admit. He doesn’t have much so feels a bit squeezed out of the space. I try my best to accommodate him but I do just have much more stuff.

He worries I will never stop.

The thing is why do I feel the need to buy so much? It’s like there’s a hole in me I’m trying to fill with new hobbies, collectibles etc. whenever my paycheck hits my account I immediately start spending.

I’ve no problem selling things and I curate my collection. But why do I feel like I need more things when I have so much? Does anyone else face this? What did you find helped? We do not have any therapy for shopping addictions where I live, they will only handle drug and alcohol addictions so I feel very unsupported in my real life.

Do you ever fully shake off the yolk of shopaholism? While I'm over the hill of the worst of my overbuying era, I still yearn for objects like no other. Recent point:

I'd been eyeing a one of a kind unisex blazer from a boutique in my city. These are extremely expensive blazers (so expensive I won't mention the cost here as they are laughably expensive) and they only make 30 of them or so each season, and while the cut is the same, they choose different fabrics each season. I fell in love with the wool/linen blend they have and the color was perfect for me - a deep deep brown almost black. A special dye job, artisans in Japan, handmade, etc. etc. After I saw it the first time, I debated whether to get it for 2 weeks and went in yesterday to try it on one last time... only for them to have sold the final piece in my size 2 hours ago.

I MISSED IT BY TWO HOURS. I was devastated and I nearly passed out (hyperbole, ok, but it felt dramatic!) on the couch in the store.

Old me would have gone on a spiral to try and track down this blazer. New me asked the shop assistant who ended up buying it. (I almost didn't want to ask because I didn't want to be ruinously envious). I was hoping, crossing my fingers, gritting my teeth it was some petite man.

He hesitated before answering me: "A woman about your age. She bought the full pantsuit set for a few summer weddings that are coming up."

His colleague: "we could give you her address so you can hunt her down."

Ha ha ha. We all laughed. I tried on some other jackets, but none of them were the same.

I left the store sulking. Some woman out there is WAY more decisive and cooler than I this summer. She has places to go where a wool/linen suit is required. She is wearing a SUIT to her weddings. She is THAT GIRL. That confidence on her. Gosh, she's probably carrying a Bottega clutch or Jacquemus mini with her new suit and wearing a pair of Rachel Comey block heels in a perfect oxblood wine color with a charm on the straps. She probably has some big earrings made out of jasper chalcedony clustered alongside 0.01c brown diamonds. I got so pouty and stinky just thinking how cool THAT GIRL would be all the way home.

When I closed the front door behind me and took off my peeling, scuffed, 5-year old Day Flats I remembered: I have no weddings to wear anything to do this summer. I have zero use cases for this summer blazer. It would sit in my closet trotted out sometimes when I wanted to cosplay.

But cosplay what?

I fell in love with that blazer because it looked like the kind of blazer a writer on a book tour would wear to sign books. After dinner, I sulked some more over chamomile tea and hand-wrote a bunch of TikTok scripts in a furious purge of the mind.

I'm so conflicted - annoyed, frustrated, and uplifted - by this realization that after all these years, I'm STILL sucked into my fantasy self. She will never leave my side.

And it's so annoying, because I want to be rid of her once and for all, and leave her behind. I want her gone.

But my FS is also my North Star. She knows what makes me me, and what will make me happy in the end. Unfortunately for her, her only recourse is to communicate through objects and my wishlist, because my brain has been so thoroughly trained by Marketing to perceive the value of the world as material goods.

I dreamed of that blazer and woke up at 5am this morning with my heart beating out of my chest. It really had a hold on me. I had to breathe deeply and remind myself that this blazer will come back next year, or next season. Maybe not the same shade of brown, maybe not the same wool/linen blend, maybe not the same dark chocolate color. Or maybe after all the weddings she's attending this 2026, this mystery decisive cool girl will list her suit on TRR (unlikely, as her wearing this suit to weddings imbues it with the spirit of unique memories that she will treasure for a lifetime.)

I told myself I will get a blazer when I have an event to wear it to. A significant event generating memories that the blazer can soak up with its 100% all natural fibers.

Until then, I have work to do. I have to keep telling my own story so that I don't get swept up by the fantasies brands sell me through objects. I have to keep defining myself. I have to keep writing.

Bonjour à tous.

Je lis cette communauté depuis un moment et je me sens enfin prête à partager mon histoire.

Je suis directrice des ressources humaines, maman de deux petites filles. De l’extérieur, ma vie semblait parfaitement normale. À l’intérieur, je cachais une addiction aux achats qui rongeait doucement tout le reste — mes finances, mes relations, mon sommeil, ma façon de me regarder dans un miroir.

Le moment qui a tout fait basculer : j’ai dû emprunter 2€20 dans le porte-monnaie de ma fille de 4 ans pour payer un parcmètre. Je n’avais plus rien. Pas même des pièces.

Ce jour-là, j’ai décidé d’écrire un livre. Pas pour vendre quelque chose — mais parce qu’écrire était ma thérapie. Et parce que je sais que beaucoup de personnes vivent ça en silence et en honte, sans même avoir un mot pour le nommer.

Ce mot existe pourtant : l’oniomanie. Une addiction comportementale reconnue par les addictologues. Pas un manque de volonté. Une maladie.

Mon livre s’appelle 2 euros 20. Il vient de paraître.

Si vous vivez ça — vous n’êtes pas seul(e). Et si vous avez un proche qui vit ça — ce n’est pas de l’égoïsme, ce n’est pas de la légèreté. C’est une maladie silencieuse qui mérite d’être reconnue comme telle.

Est-ce que certains d’entre vous ont trouvé quelque chose qui les a vraiment aidés à ralentir ou à reprendre le contrôle ?

Hello, I have a lot of downtime at my job and it’s when I do most of my online shopping. I try to turn to other distractions like crossword puzzles or reading, but it’s not easy! Do any of you have any tips to help prevent myself from web browsing and buying at my desk? Love to hear your suggestions and thank you so much in advance!

Does Dillard’s ever flag someone for shopping too many shirts then ended up returning them?

Bonjour à tous.

Je lis cette communauté depuis un moment et je me sens enfin prête à partager mon histoire.

Je suis directrice des ressources humaines, maman de deux petites filles. De l’extérieur, ma vie semblait parfaitement normale. À l’intérieur, je cachais une addiction aux achats qui rongeait doucement tout le reste — mes finances, mes relations, mon sommeil, ma façon de me regarder dans un miroir.

Pendant des années on m’a dit que j’étais juste dépensière. Que je manquais de volonté. Que si je voulais vraiment m’arrêter, je le pourrais.

Ce n’était pas vrai. Et comprendre ça a tout changé.

Le moment qui a tout fait basculer : j’ai dû emprunter 2€20 dans le porte-monnaie de ma fille de 4 ans pour payer un parcmètre. Je n’avais plus rien. Pas même des pièces.

Ce jour-là j’ai compris que je n’étais plus aux commandes. Que ce n’était pas un trait de caractère. Que ça s’appelait l’oniomanie — une addiction comportementale reconnue, au même titre que l’addiction à l’alcool ou aux jeux d’argent.

Pas un manque de volonté. Une maladie.

Je suis encore dans ce combat aujourd’hui. Pas guérie. Mais consciente. Et cette différence change tout.

Est-ce que certains d’entre vous ont vécu ce moment où tout a basculé — où vous avez compris que c’était plus fort que vous ? Qu’est-ce qui vous a aidés à avancer ?

Please use this thread to discuss recent wins, things you've been struggling with lately, something that you've been trying lately that's helped you, or anything you'd like to share with the community that doesn't warrant a full post.

If you have more than 200 words in your comment, you may want to consider creating a separate thread.

As always, thanks for sharing and we're here for you!

I can’t stop buying bags. I’m convinced each time that I’ll find the perfect one and that this one will change my life. I don’t even carry a bag when I go out so at most they are worn once then hung up.

I don’t know how to stop

You don't have a shopping addiction.

You have a pain management problem.

And shopping is just the drug that's easiest to justify.

Think about it.

When does the urge hit hardest?

Not when you're happy. Not when life is good.

It hits when you're bored at 2am. When the relationship is falling apart. When the job feels meaningless. When you look in the mirror and don't recognize the person staring back.

That's not a shopping problem.

That's self-medication. With a credit card.

The cycle is identical to every other addiction nobody wants to talk about.

Uncomfortable feeling → find the substance → brief relief → guilt → repeat.

The only difference is that alcohol comes in a bottle. Codein comes in a prescription. And your drug of choice comes with free shipping and a 30-day return policy.

Society made one of these acceptable.

Guess which one gets its own subreddit.

The fashion industry figured this out decades ago.

They don't sell clothes.

They sell the 4-minute feeling of becoming someone else.

Someone with better taste. A better life. A better version of themselves hiding somewhere inside a hoodie they don't actually need.

They're not wrong that the feeling exists.

They're just not telling you that it disappears the moment the package arrives.

So here's the uncomfortable question nobody in the fashion industry wants you to ask:

If buying the thing actually fixed the feeling — why are you still here?

Why do you still feel empty after the cart empties out?

Maybe the problem was never the wardrobe.

I have had a significant issue with the fear of missing out on certain jewelry I see for sale that are one of a kind pieces. Today, I said NO to spending $450 that I did not need to spend, simply because it was 1 of a kind and a good deal. I am authentically relieved I could reign in this impulse. Wanted to share this victory 🥹

Hello there, I just want to start off by saying that this might not be the standard shopping addiction, but I would still recommend not reading if you get triggered easily.

With that out of the way.. this likely stems from my childhood. As a kid, I could never spend anything. We were a low income household and learned to spend hours to calculate and kinda min max expenses. If I don't get the absolute best deal, I'll second guess for HOURS and feel insanely guilty about spending more than 5 euros at once.

But now that's taken over my life. For 8 hours a day, I scroll through multiple apps to win giveaways for stuff worth around 1 euro just so I don't have to pay shipping. All so I can justify buying more stuff that exceeds the budget i set for myself. For some reason, I decided that "I deserve something nice" or "I can afford it now" are valid reasons to order a new package every day. Sure, they might not be over 10 euro's a piece, but still, when it adds up over a month, that's still well over what I wanted to spend on my newfound pokemon card hobby.

And the worst part isn't even the spending. It's just the obsession with the scrolling, comparing, and hours of research resulting in being mentally drained. just to end up saving what? 80 cents a week? Not to mention the absolute humiliation and judgment I feel whenever my parents realize I ordered something for the 20th time this week alone.

Anyway.. thanks for reading all of that :)

I'm just going through and muting all the subreddits that I follow that relate to my current collecting/purchasing fixations and there are SO MANY. For me it's about labubus/skullspands, nail polish, sephora/makeup, perfume... There are many different things I'm into right now and I realized when I see things posted that I want, I am SO inclined to buy. I have a lot of swap reddits and buy from resellers and I feel "better" buying from them because they're less $ or not as wasteful, but wow, I am following so many subreddits that encourage my compulsive shopping and addiction. I used to use reddit information and I love the "ask historians" type subreddits, so I'm wondering if I can change this habit and use reddit in a different way. I have become so addicted to reddit in general, but I think it's so intertwined with the addiction now. Reddit is the only social media I scroll and open a million times a day. I think I'm rambling at this point lol, just wanted to put this out there because I feel almost a sense of fear muting these subs. Maybe some can relate.

It wasn't an expensive item, but i've already blown through most of my income this month. I didn't need it, i'm drowning in similar items, but addiction brain hit and in that moment I could NOT live without that specific thing. My anxieties about never finding it at a reduced price again or never having enough of it, my unrelenting search for dopamine (I have ADHD) were SO overwhelming. My card wasn't charged immediately so thankfully I was just able to cancel the order entirely. I'm so proud if myself. It's a small thing but in the moment it felt like the hardest thing i'd ever done!

I really need to get myself together. It's been happening since I was 18 and really ramped up in my early 20s. I'll get into these binge-shopping cycles where I just can't stop shopping and it's like I'm possessed. Usually it's groceries, skin and hair products, and clothes but sometimes it's other random stuff like cologne, houseplants, tea, used electronics. I hit a new low these past two weeks I'd been depressed and tired for a while, but the spring weather + my tax refund revived me in the worst way. I'm so hyped up, can't sleep, need to shop. It's almost obsessive shopping. I've spent at least 1000 dollars in two weeks, which is most of the tax refund that I was going to put in savings. I'm so mad at myself. My family member noticed it too, she was like "didn't you just go to the grocery store? Are you going like five times a week?" It's so embarrassing.

Hi all, been on my shopping addiction recovery now for nearly a year.

One of the things that helped me the most was digitising my wardrobe. I used Indyx.

By doing this I had to login to all my accounts, see my order history and pop in the price I paid for the item and the date I acquired it. I then screenshotted the item and popped it in the app, if this wasn't available I'd just photograph the item itself and pop it in. As part of this you can put in how much you've worn the item and see the cost per wear. This is where the shock starts.

As part of this stage I could see what my most worn pieces were....gym leggings around the house, band t's and crocs. Then a lot of my wardrobe was stuff that I don't actually wear and it was really eye opening.

If you are on a decluttering journey (either now or later) if you resell you can also pop in the amount your item sold for and get a true cost per wear. This can get scary for so many items as you can just see how much money you've lost out on.

I've been tracking my clothes now for over a year, I can see what I actually wear vs what I never wear. I can see the gaps in my clothing and what I have excess for.

If you pay for premium (I've had it often half price around major holidays), you're also able to share the links to friends of your wardrobe so they can style you too. This can bring major Inspo in with your existing clothes.

There is also a community styling setting too, along with reddit where people style each other.

Overall, this has been a huge tool in helping me recover by seeing what I have, how much I've spent, what I actually wear and having Inspo from others with my existing wardrobe.

Happy to share a link to my profile through DM if anyone wants to see how the styling others works/what they have access too.

Edit - if anyone does do this, happy to look at styling you too if you DM me your link

I'm currently $5,000 in credit card debt. My previous therapist said, "everyone goes through credit card debt" and "that's nothing!" I completely understand that, but it doesn't make me feel any better. For the past few years, it would go from $5,000 down to $3,000 or $3,000 up to $5,000. It always goes back and forth because of my impulsiveness. I haven't gone to therapy in a while. Honestly, I'm embarrassed to meet a new therapist and talk about my debt. But I should really get professional help.

On the positive note, I'm also currently paying off a car loan. Based on my calculations, I will pay it off by the end of the year. I'm very proud of myself. When I saw it, I almost cried because I thought I still had years to pay it off. It's got me thinking that I can pay off my $5,000 credit card debt in the next two years. Maybe less. I just need to work harder and make better choices.

My compulsive spending and credit card debt was this shameful secret I had held onto for literal years. It was actually crushing me emotionally. Every morning I woke up with guilt. Nobody knew, not even my therapist (lol). But I could not stop it. It was always a "ill deal with it later" or "money comes back" or "what's a few dollars here and there (even though it was hundreds of dollars)". I was so confident I could break this addiction on my own and get out of debt all by myself.

WELP.... the cat came out of the bag about a week ago. I was down to my last 100$ before my summer job started (I don't work during the school year because I have autoimmune and chronic illnesses) or so I thought. My gas light was on so I reluctantly pulled over to get gas at the next gas station, tried to put 20$ in but my card kept declining. Turns out I had pending transactions and I was actually down to my last 3$. Next came the call I and the conversation I had been terrified of for so long. A call to my mom to ask for money and tell her everything.

AND THANK GOD I DID. I know not everyone will find themselves with such supportive parents as mine, but my mom didn't even flinch. She was like okay I'll send you some money and then we are going to make a plan to fix this. She assured me it was okay, that it is apart of "learning" life lessons ad told me she actually filed bankruptcy when she was 30 because she was drowning in debt and student loans. Making sure this does not happen to me she has committed to helping me make a plan stick to it, rebuild my credit, and get help from a specialist. Beyond that, she has offered to pay off 10,000$ of my credit card debt (which currently sits around 16k. I know not everyone is as fortunate as I am. I am so incredibly grateful that she is able to do this. It was never my intention to ask her to help me settle these debts, if anything I just needed a few dollars to get some gas put in my car haha.

Moral of the story is if you are in a similar situation to me and you are beyond terrified to tell anyone / your parents about your spending and debt, don't be. Because I feel soooo much better now that I don't have to carry this burden alone and I have someone to support me. So let this be your sign if you are terrified to open about this, tell someone, literally tell anyone you feel comfortable talking to. You will feel so much better to not have to battle it alone anymore.

ALSO understand that compulsive spending is an addiction and like any other form of addiction we need a support system, we experience relapses, and its an incredibly hard journey!