u/smallstrangerr

Love marriage turning toxic because of controlling Indian in-laws

I really want to save my marriage and win my husband back. I’m from India and we had a love marriage. Before marriage and also after marriage, my husband was very chilled out, open-minded, supportive, and never made me feel like “women belong in the kitchen” or anything like that. But his parents are extremely controlling and honestly their own marriage is not healthy either.

My FIL calls my husband 10 times a day and interferes in every single detail of our lives. Last week me and my FIL had a huge fight and he created a massive scene at home. My MIL is very conservative and believes I should behave/dress a certain way, cook all the time, take care of my husband in a traditional manner, etc.

The problem is we stay with them around 3 months every year, and those 3 months become the worst phase of our relationship every single time. We keep fighting constantly there. Earlier if we stopped talking for a while it used to feel serious, but now distance and silence have become routine between us.

Right now things are very bad. My husband keeps telling me “just pretend for a few days, we’ll go back soon,” so I’m trying to act okay in front of my in-laws, but internally I’m extremely stressed and unhappy.

Another issue is that my husband takes a lot of financial help from his parents, so they dominate him a lot and influence his thinking. Slowly I feel like he’s changing. Earlier he never believed in rigid gender roles, but now he says things like women should handle household work. I genuinely feel he gets manipulated very easily.

I’ll also admit I’m not perfect. I can be immature, insecure, emotional, angry, and sometimes I also create issues or react badly. But I feel both of us are stuck in this toxic cycle now.

The saddest part is I think my husband now sees me as the “problematic wife” who always fights and doesn’t adjust, whereas I honestly feel like the environment itself is ruining us.

I don’t want my marriage to end. I want to reconnect with him emotionally and make our relationship strong again despite all this family interference.

Tl;dr Has anyone here gone through something similar in Indian marriages/in-law situations? How do I make my husband understand my side without constant fights? How do I rebuild love, trust, and emotional connection again?

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u/smallstrangerr — 21 hours ago
▲ 33 r/IndianInLaw+2 crossposts

So apparently my FIL is extremely controlling and has always been the dictator of the family. Everyone follows what he says — my MIL, my husband, even his 35-year-old daughter. He still interferes in her family matters, how her kids should be raised, and even expects her husband and in-laws to follow his opinions.

Last week I went to a wedding. I informed my in-laws before leaving and also told them once I reached safely. After that I got busy with wedding functions and didn’t call for a few days.

When I came back, my FIL taunted me saying my behavior was “very bad” because I didn’t call him during those days. I didn’t reply at that moment because honestly I was angry. Since then I’ve stopped talking to him completely. We live in the same house but for the last 4 days we haven’t spoken at all. He stays in his room, I stay in mine.

Now he’s telling my MIL that I’m ignoring him and not even greeting him. But the reality is we literally haven’t crossed paths.

The issue is, I genuinely feel he just wants control and constant validation. If he was truly concerned, he could have called me too. I’m tired of the expectation that I should always keep updating him just to satisfy his ego. Because my husband knew about my whereabouts all days anyways . And he knew via him also . Right now it is only about why did you not call me .

Now my husband came to me and asked me to compromise because the three of us are traveling together soon. He said, “You’re not wrong, but we’ve all been scared of him since childhood and that’s why everyone listens to him. Please talk to him before the trip otherwise things will escalate badly and we’ll all end up fighting. Do it for peace, not because he’s right.”

And honestly… now I’m confused.

Part of me feels like if I go and talk first, I’m encouraging this behavior again. But another part of me wonders if keeping this silence going is even worth the stress.

Should I compromise for peace even if I feel I’m not wrong? Or should I stand my ground and stop feeding this controlling behavior?

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u/smallstrangerr — 6 days ago

I’m currently trying to transition into a Business Analyst/Data-focused role and honestly feeling a little confused with how much the industry has changed recently.

I’m seeing job descriptions asking for:
- SQL
- Power BI
- Agile/Jira
- Dashboards
- Analytics
- AI tools
- Automation
- Sometimes even Python

As someone still at a fresher level in BA, I don’t want to just keep collecting random certifications. I genuinely want to build skills that are actually helping people get hired in 2026.

Would love advice from people already working in:
- Business Analysis
- Data Analytics
- Product roles
- Consulting
- IT/Tech companies

A few questions:

  1. Which skills are genuinely in demand right now?
  2. Which certifications actually add value on a resume?
  3. What projects helped you stand out as a fresher?
  4. Is AI + Business Analysis becoming important now?
  5. If you were starting again in 2026, what would you focus on first?

Also, what’s one thing that can help someone stand out from the crowd instead of having the same profile as everyone else?

Would really appreciate genuine guidance 🙌

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u/smallstrangerr — 6 days ago

Business Analyst roadmap for 2026 — what’s worth learning and what’s overrated?

What are the current skills one should have to stand out in 2026 and in general skill for a fresher?

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u/smallstrangerr — 6 days ago
▲ 6 r/SocialMediaManagers+2 crossposts

Is my old Instagram follow-unfollow activity ruining my reach even now?

I genuinely want honest feedback because I’m feeling a little demotivated with Instagram lately.

Back in 2020, I created a travel account and at that time I did the stupid follow unfollow thing to increase followers. Right now I have around 1300 followers, but my reels barely cross 500 views most of the time.

I post faceless travel content / mini vlogs decent editing, good clips, aesthetic shots etc. But my account just doesn’t seem to grow. I also don’t have one fixed theme yet, it’s mostly travel related but not super niche.

Now I’m confused whether:
1.my old follow unfollow activity ruined the account permanently
2.faceless travel content is too saturated
3.my content is not good enough
4.or Instagram just takes time now

It’s honestly hard to stay consistent when you spend time editing and the reel gets stuck at low views.

Has anyone here experienced this and eventually grown? Should I continue on the same account or start fresh?

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u/smallstrangerr — 6 days ago
▲ 70 r/IndianInLaw+1 crossposts

I went to a wedding for 4 days and didn’t call my father-in-law during that time. My husband was in constant touch with them, so they knew where I was and that I was fine. When I came back, I also didn’t specifically inform my FIL that I was returning.

After I got back, both my in-laws didn’t come out or speak to me. The next morning, my FIL came to me and taunted me, saying it was a very bad thing that I didn’t call or inform him for 4 days and didn’t even tell him I was coming back.

I didn’t respond and just walked away because I felt like — if he was genuinely concerned, he could have called me too, right?

Now it’s been 2 days and we’re basically not talking at all, even though we’re living in the same house. It feels very tense and uncomfortable.

Part of me feels like I’m just setting boundaries and not feeding into a one-sided relationship anymore. But another part of me wonders if I handled this wrong and made things worse.

Am I being unreasonable here? Or is this a fair boundary after repeated lack of effort from their side?

My husband says his father is like this only and he will never change he is egoistic and arrogant . He is like ignore them for your own mental peace it hardly takes two minutes to call . So do it for your own mental peace.

I need suggestions because if this silence stays for too long things can escalate very far so i am afraid also !

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u/smallstrangerr — 8 days ago
▲ 42 r/IndianInLaw+1 crossposts

I need some honest perspective.

My in-laws have a pattern — they never call me first. Not even for basic things like checking if I reached safely while traveling or if I’m okay when I’m sick. But the moment I don’t call them even for a single day, it becomes an issue and I’m made to feel like I’m not putting in effort.

It started feeling very one-sided and honestly a bit ego-driven. So recently, I decided to step back. I’ve stopped calling daily. Now I keep a gap — around 5–6 days for my father-in-law and 10–15 days for my mother-in-law . And now they have started boycotting me and started making faces all the time and started ignoring me .

What bothers me more is that if my MIL needs something and she’s not at home, she’ll call the maid or my husband — but never me. That says a lot.

I did try to address it directly and told them that they also never make an effort to call or check in, which is why I’ve reduced my calls too. But there’s no real change.

Now I’m wondering — am I handling this wrong?

Is this a healthy boundary, or am I just making things worse? Part of me feels like I shouldn’t keep feeding into this one-sided dynamic and fueling their ego. But another part wonders if this will just create more distance.

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u/smallstrangerr — 9 days ago
▲ 10 r/IndianInLaw+1 crossposts

I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinking this situation or if my SIL is actually too interfering in my marriage and personal space.

Ever since I got married, she has been constantly around. Like literally all the time. She stays at my in-laws’ house around 5 days a week, and even her in-laws often come and stay in the room next to ours. Sometimes it feels less like my husband’s family home and more like her permanent setup.

Her photos are everywhere in the house. Every conversation somehow revolves around her, her kids, her struggles, or her life. My MIL’s entire emotional world seems centered around her.

In the beginning of my marriage, whenever my husband helped me in the kitchen or with basic household work, she would immediately comment things like:

“Don’t make my brother work.”jokingly

She also constantly reminds me:

“We bought this for your wedding.”

“I selected this dress for you.”

“This was done by me.”

It’s like she needs credit for everything repeatedly, even after years.

Her kids are also constantly around, and she keeps emotionally pushing them onto my husband. She keeps saying in front of everyone how “crazy” their uncle is for them, but honestly, my husband barely even talks about them privately. It feels very performative to me.

Another thing that makes me uncomfortable is how physically touchy she is with my husband. Constant cheek kisses, hugs all the time, over-familiar behavior in front of everyone. Maybe some people find that normal between siblings, but combined with everything else, it honestly irritates me.

I also feel she may be insecure or jealous of me. I don’t talk to her much anymore — I just greet her politely and leave because I don’t trust her energy around me. I constantly feel like she bitches about me behind my back.

Something else I find weird:

She has hidden her Instagram stories from me, never checks my stories, but keeps sending reels to my husband and comments on all his posts/stories. It feels intentional and passive aggressive.

Her own marriage situation also confuses me. Her husband has been living in another city for the last 3 years while she mostly stays here. Sometimes I feel like she emotionally depends too much on this house and doesn’t want my husband and I to have our own independent space or bond.

I honestly can’t tell anymore:

Am I overthinking because I already have issues with my in-laws, or does this actually sound unhealthy and over-involved?

How do you deal with a SIL like this without creating more family drama?

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u/smallstrangerr — 13 days ago

I’m at my breaking point and need to vent/seek advice.

Everything feels like a trigger lately. I’m fighting with people constantly, and my "ego" feels so sensitive—I’m angry all the time and I don’t know how to turn it off.

I’m currently dealing with:

PCOS & Physical Health: My periods have stopped, and I’ve gained 20kg. I feel "ugly" and "fat," and looking in the mirror just fuels the anger.

Life Stress: I’m currently unemployed, which leaves me with way too much screen time and way too much time to dwell on my thoughts.

The Cycle: The marriage issues i cant forget at all from my inlaws i really wanna move on !

Is the "PCOS rage" real? Is it the lack of a job/routine? I feel like I’m losing my identity and taking it out on the people around me. I hate who I’m becoming. How do you break out of this when you have zero motivation and feel terrible about your body?

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u/smallstrangerr — 14 days ago

I’ll be honest: I have 0 motivation right now.

Life has been hitting hard lately. Marriage issues, dealing with grief, and a 20kg weight gain over the last few years that makes me barely recognize myself in the mirror. Most days, just getting out of bed feels like a workout.

I’m 161cm and 72kg. I’m stressed, I’m tired, and I’m worried all the time. My body feels like it's stuck in "off" mode.

My screen time is 11 hours and i am unemployed , super stressed all the time

How should i escape this loop ?

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u/smallstrangerr — 14 days ago

2 months no period, 20kg weight gain, and extreme stress/grief. Looking for advice.

I’m feeling really lost and worried and just need some perspective or to know if anyone has gone through something similar.

I haven’t had my period in two months. Had smoked also 2 years and now also once or twice in a week .I’ve taken tests and I’m not pregnant, but my body feels completely "off." Here is some context:

• **Weight Changes:** I’ve gained 20kg over the last 3 years. I’m 161cm and currently 72kg.

• **Mental Health:** My stress levels are through the roof. I have zero motivation and I’m worried all the time.

• **Life Situation:** I’m dealing with significant marriage issues and, most painfully, I recently had a miscarriage.

I know stress can stop a period, but with the weight gain and the miscarriage, I don’t know if this is a hormonal imbalance (like PCOS), thyroid issues, or just my body reacting to the trauma and grief.

Has anyone else experienced their cycle just stopping after a period of high stress or loss? What tests should I ask my doctor for? I feel so stuck and exhausted.

Also i had a miscarriage 6 months back my cycle has changed

And previously also i used to get periods in. 2 months

I have become so lazy i only lie the whole day on my bed and screen time is 11 hours!

What should i do?

reddit.com
u/smallstrangerr — 14 days ago
▲ 1 r/PCOS

I’m feeling really lost and worried and just need some perspective or to know if anyone has gone through something similar.

I haven’t had my period in two months. Had smoked also 2 years and now also once or twice in a week .I’ve taken tests and I’m not pregnant, but my body feels completely "off." Here is some context:

Weight Changes: I’ve gained 20kg over the last 3 years. I’m 161cm and currently 72kg.

Mental Health: My stress levels are through the roof. I have zero motivation and I’m worried all the time.

Life Situation: I’m dealing with significant marriage issues and, most painfully, I recently had a miscarriage.

I know stress can stop a period, but with the weight gain and the miscarriage, I don’t know if this is a hormonal imbalance (like PCOS), thyroid issues, or just my body reacting to the trauma and grief.

Has anyone else experienced their cycle just stopping after a period of high stress or loss? What tests should I ask my doctor for? I feel so stuck and exhausted.

Also i had a miscarriage 6 months back my cycle has changed

And previously also i used to get periods in. 2 months

I have become so lazy i only lie the whole day on my bed and screen time is 11 hours!

What should i do?

reddit.com
u/smallstrangerr — 14 days ago

Need some genuine career advice regarding Business Analyst roles in India.

I have around 4 years of experience in an analyst role

After that, I joined a sales/business development role but stayed there only for around 3 months because I realized I wanted to move back toward analyst/business strategy type work instead of pure sales.

Currently I have a 4–5 month gap due to do medical issue

Now the issue is:

\- Remote BA roles seem extremely competitive

\- Very few openings

\- Most jobs have 500+ applicants

\- Many companies want technical skills + experience together

My last CTC was 7.8 LPA and I’m targeting around 12 LPA, mainly because of my previous experience and the kind of responsibilities I’ve handled.

I wanted honest opinions on:

  1. Is 12 LPA realistic with my background?

  2. How should I justify the 3-month sales role during interviews?

  3. What’s the best way to explain the 4–5 month gap without sounding negative?

  4. Should I continue targeting remote-only roles or start with hybrid roles first?

  5. Which skills actually make the biggest difference right now for BA hiring in India?

Would genuinely appreciate guidance from people already working in BA/Product/Strategy roles in India.

reddit.com
u/smallstrangerr — 14 days ago

Need some genuine career advice regarding Business Analyst roles in India.

I have around 4 years of experience in an analyst role

After that, I joined a sales/business development role but stayed there only for around 3 months because I realized I wanted to move back toward analyst/business strategy type work instead of pure sales.

Currently I have a 4–5 month gap due to do medical issue

Now the issue is:

\- Remote BA roles seem extremely competitive

\- Very few openings

\- Most jobs have 500+ applicants

\- Many companies want technical skills + experience together

My last CTC was 7.8 LPA and I’m targeting around 12 LPA, mainly because of my previous experience and the kind of responsibilities I’ve handled.

I wanted honest opinions on:

  1. Is 12 LPA realistic with my background?

  2. How should I justify the 3-month sales role during interviews?

  3. What’s the best way to explain the 4–5 month gap without sounding negative?

  4. Should I continue targeting remote-only roles or start with hybrid roles first?

  5. Which skills actually make the biggest difference right now for BA hiring in India?

Would genuinely appreciate guidance from people already working in BA/Product/Strategy roles in India?

reddit.com
u/smallstrangerr — 14 days ago
▲ 0 r/jobs

Need some genuine career advice regarding Business Analyst roles in India.

I have around 4 years of experience in an analyst role

After that, I joined a sales/business development role but stayed there only for around 3 months because I realized I wanted to move back toward analyst/business strategy type work instead of pure sales.

Currently I have a 4–5 month gap due to do medical issue

Now the issue is:

\- Remote BA roles seem extremely competitive

\- Very few openings

\- Most jobs have 500+ applicants

\- Many companies want technical skills + experience together

My last CTC was 7.8 LPA and I’m targeting around 12 LPA, mainly because of my previous experience and the kind of responsibilities I’ve handled.

I wanted honest opinions on:

  1. Is 12 LPA realistic with my background?

  2. How should I justify the 3-month sales role during interviews?

  3. What’s the best way to explain the 4–5 month gap without sounding negative?

  4. Should I continue targeting remote-only roles or start with hybrid roles first?

  5. Which skills actually make the biggest difference right now for BA hiring in India?

Would genuinely appreciate guidance from people already working in BA/Product/Strategy roles in India.

reddit.com
u/smallstrangerr — 14 days ago

Need some genuine career advice regarding Business Analyst roles in India.

I have around 4 years of experience in an analyst role

After that, I joined a sales/business development role but stayed there only for around 3 months because I realized I wanted to move back toward analyst/business strategy type work instead of pure sales.

Currently I have a 4–5 month gap due to do medical issue

Now the issue is:

- Remote BA roles seem extremely competitive

- Very few openings

- Most jobs have 500+ applicants

- Many companies want technical skills + experience together

My last CTC was 7.8 LPA and I’m targeting around 12 LPA, mainly because of my previous experience and the kind of responsibilities I’ve handled.

I wanted honest opinions on:

  1. Is 12 LPA realistic with my background?

  2. How should I justify the 3-month sales role during interviews?

  3. What’s the best way to explain the 4–5 month gap without sounding negative?

  4. Should I continue targeting remote-only roles or start with hybrid roles first?

  5. Which skills actually make the biggest difference right now for BA hiring in India?

Would genuinely appreciate guidance from people already working in BA/Product/Strategy roles in India.

reddit.com
u/smallstrangerr — 15 days ago
▲ 38 r/IndianInLaw+1 crossposts

I’ve been married for 4 years, and honestly, I’ve never really had a good relationship with my in-laws. They are extremely conservative, while I’ve always been someone who values freedom, independence, and living life on my own terms. I like dressing a certain way, I enjoy comfort, and I’ve never believed that a woman’s worth should be decided by how “traditional” she looks.

After marriage, they expected me to wear chudiyan, anklets, gold necklaces, dupatta all the time — even over night suits. Initially, I tried to adjust because I thought maybe things would settle with time. My husband also told me it would become normal eventually. But it’s been 4 years, and nothing has changed.

We live in a different city from them, but whenever we come here for longer periods (right now it’s around 3 months), I feel mentally exhausted. Sometimes I even go back to my hometown because staying here continuously becomes too overwhelming. My husband and I end up living separately for days after fights because I feel like I’m constantly trying to escape this environment.

The biggest issue is not even the clothes — it’s the mindset. They constantly make judgmental and regressive comments about people, especially women, and I just cannot relate to that mentality. Because of this, I avoid sitting with them and mostly stay in my room the entire day.

My MIL expects me to wake up at 6 AM daily and handle household work and breakfast for my husband. But I genuinely believe marriage should be equal, not based on traditional gender roles. I also physically struggle with waking up that early consistently. I wake up according to my own routine, and this has always been a problem for her.

In the beginning of the marriage, things were even worse. She told me to leave the house, made hurtful comments about my parents, and once clearly said, “This is my house, don’t ever think it’s yours.” But in front of others, she acts caring and loving, which makes me feel even more confused and isolated.

There’s also constant interference from extended family. My SIL is always involved in everything, and even her in-laws are around frequently. I feel like there’s never any privacy or emotional space. She has a say in everything and she initially complained to her parents that i didnt respect her husband and also mu inlaws are constantly pissed at me because i dont call my SIL at all .And she always tries to proof how close is my husband to her and being touchy and all and tries to show how important bond they share and my husband is crazy for her kids . But in reality they are just a part of his life not his entire life but she imposes if and doesnt understands that chilhood is over and his brother is someone’s husband . Also her husband doesnt live in the same town as her.

The only reason this marriage has survived is because my husband is actually a good person. He loves me, supports me, and never forces me to behave a certain way with his family. He mostly has a “let it go” attitude because he himself had a traumatic childhood. His parents constantly fought, and his mother also suffered a lot because of her own in-laws. So sometimes I feel he avoids confrontation because that’s how he learned to survive.

But somewhere in all this, I’ve completely lost myself.

I left my job because I fell into depression, and now I don’t even feel motivated enough to apply anywhere. I spend most of my day on my phone, doing absolutely nothing productive. I’ve gained weight, become addicted to scrolling, and I genuinely feel like I have zero motivation, confidence, or energy left in me anymore.

I don’t even know if I’m looking for advice, validation, or just a place to finally say all this out loud. I just feel emotionally stuck, exhausted, and disconnected from the person I used to be.

reddit.com
u/smallstrangerr — 15 days ago