u/moon_Strawberry_2471

Im 21F and the last time I worked was December 2025 , I left because I was working at Amazon and I had mental breakdown working ( I was going through a lot) I’ve been trying to find another one ever since, I’ve changed my resume a few times and I’ve been to a couple of interviews but yet I still haven’t gotten a job.

I know that the job market has been changing recently and adding AI tools to look at resumes but what is it with mine that it’s always discarded? I also don’t really understand how the AI thing works either, do I have to use a AI tool to perfect it the way the AI needs so I can pass the screening?

I am in serious need for money I would like to start saving for my own apartment since my mom wants to move out of our current house but I gotta figure out how to be the system, another thing is Amazon is a never ending process working there might keep you there for years. I worked there for one and I if I hadn’t had a breakdown I would’ve done a second year but working there unless you aren’t in a leadership role is draining I’ve literally seen people start fist fights for having to work there after barely getting sleep at time and working there longer than I have. I don’t want to work back there but it feels like the only place that will give me a job and I hate that.

I want to have a easier and fast paced job like hospitality in a way but it’s so hard to get those jobs or even working in retail. I need advice.

Im 21F and the last time I worked was December 2025 , I left because I was working at Amazon and I had mental breakdown working ( I was going through a lot) I’ve been trying to find another one ever since, I’ve changed my resume a few times and I’ve been to a couple of interviews but yet I still haven’t gotten a job.

I know that the job market has been changing recently and adding AI tools to look at resumes but what is it with mine that it’s always discarded? I also don’t really understand how the AI thing works either, do I have to use a AI tool to perfect it the way the AI needs so I can pass the screening?

I am in serious need for money I would like to start saving for my own apartment since my mom wants to move out of our current house but I gotta figure out how to be the system, another thing is Amazon is a never ending process working there might keep you there for years. I worked there for one and I if I hadn’t had a breakdown I would’ve done a second year but working there unless you aren’t in a leadership role is draining I’ve literally seen people start fist fights for having to work there after barely getting sleep at time and working there longer than I have. I don’t want to work back there but it feels like the only place that will give me a job and I hate that.

I want to have a easier and fast paced job like hospitality in a way but it’s so hard to get those jobs or even working in retail. I need advice.

Hello, I just want be clear that I am not fully diagnosed with BPD but both my therapist and psychiatrist are seeking that diagnosis for me. I have already been diagnosed with MDD and PTSD as well other underlying mental illness. Recently my impulses have gotten worse, which is smex (sorry I’m new idk if I can be transparent on here) I have struggled with hyper sexualization a lot even when I was younger due to trauma (I’m currently 21). There has been a few men recently in my adult years I got obsessed over, but anyway, I met this guy a while ago and he is really cool, 33, and we smoked weed had smex and it was the best. I haven’t had anything like that, I loved everything about it; and the next day I ofc thought about it but it didn’t feel like nothing before, I wanted to keep things casual and when about my week, he would text me through the week but I also want to talk other guys too, I was also thinking about taking a break from my smexual endeavors,when he texted again one day I was actually really excited to see him again just no one could make me feel like that but he has a whole life ( like a kid and a career) so I guess he fell asleep and I got upset but I was really craving smex and I did it with someone else.

(For context he doesn’t really care ig but I think because I told him I’d let him br33d me and he said that if I got pregnant I’d have to be his, which i lowkey would’ve been down for, our relationship it like dom/sub)

I sent him a video the next morning (because some guys like that ) but I guess it made him upset we had a little argument on text but eventually we wanted to meet so that morning we did had smex for 5 min and then he had to go to work. For some reason that morning (yesterday literally lol) everything about him got so much hotter and I wanted him more, I literally started deleting every other guy I was talking to and I only wanted him. I did the same thing with another guy and we barely even had a relationship and didn’t even have smex, but I was just obsessed with him and everything I saw , sometimes I think about him even now. Last night this new guy said he was sick but ik he was lying I felt like after the argument we had we can be transparent but maybe I was wrong idk. I really can’t stop thinking and obsessing over him though.

Note: I am NOT diagnosed with BPD but I’m currently working with my therapist and psychiatrist to work out a full diagnosis rather than just MDD, Anxiety, and PTSD.

I’ve been through a lot of trauma, even as a kid that has affected my life and it was always so hard for me to manage my emotions , my abandonment and trust issues for a long time. In recent years I found that faith was something that kept me alive and motivated aswell as my creativity and the seek for a sense of self. When I was 15 I was groomed and it set up a lot complications for me and my relationships while I already had underlying issues do to sexual abuse as a minor, and even recently as a adult getting sexually abused again in late 23’. After finding faith in God I ended in a cult around the same time as my sexual abuse (unrelated) and after coming out late last year I’ve really just been struggling with my emotions, impulses, smoking weeds and trying to take my life. I always struggled with these things (except weed), I never really had real friends except for one and most left due to the fact that the church kind of made me isolate myself from anyone who wasn’t them, and when it comes to impulses I think mines are mostly sexual, probably due to all of the sexual abuse I went through, but still feel the need to jump into relationships every other day without really healing from the pain and hurt I’ve been through in the last one, I’ve been cheated on , lied to , manipulated. There is just so much I can’t even put into words. It’s so hard to live with all this pain sometimes and I do it to myself because I lash out on people who w were trying to help and now some of them left with exception of my family.

One thing I don’t like about the process of this diagnosis is that it’s taking so long , I’m not necessarily trying to diagnose myself but I just know how analyze myself well enough to understand what I’m going through over anything else, most times I’m not as vulnerable and vocal about all that I’ve gone through and all that go through either because I feel like my brain literally blocks out certain memories and situations to try to keep me sane or I’m just not comfortable communicating it, especially if I feel as though someone doesn’t care (and I feel like about of people in my life don’t care)

I feel like the only time I’m actually feeling love is when someone is having sex with me or love bombing me only to be a manipulating creep. I have much more to say but I can’t say it rn it’s just too much.