u/Visual_Apartment_831

How do I get over the situationship I had with my friend? I'm embarrassed and cringed out by the thought of it every single day and it's been literal months.

About 9ish months ago I was in a sort of situationship with my friend (we're both 16, I'm a girl, he's a guy.) I was struggling a bit mentally at the time because I was very touch starved and lacked a lot of the validation I needed because my friends did the bare fucking minimum (but that's a whole other conversation.) I thought I had a crush on him, was going insane over it for several months before coming to the conclusion I definitely didn't like him romantically and just liked the idea of a relationship and liked the physical intimacy of it. Told him all of that, he understood despite being a bit sad about it because he properly liked me and that was the end of it. Except it wasn't because quite literally every single day since then I've thought about it and it makes me want to rip my hair out. He's the total opposite of my type so I don't know how the yearning for a relationship was so bad I thought I liked HIM of all people. It cringes me out so bad. It brings me the kind of embarrassment that's overwhelming and makes you want to rip your hair out. I've not even told my best friend of 12 YEARS about it because it's that embarrassing. If he wasn't still my friend I'd be well over it by now, but because we're still close friends and we talk every day, even if it's only brief, I'm reminded of it constantly. What makes it worse is that I'm very sure he still has feelings for me. We hung out with the rest of our friend group (they know a tiny bit about what happened but have no clue about the actual scale of it and me and him made a pact to never say anything about it) the other week and to me it was blatantly obvious by how he acted and how close he stood to me that he still has lingering feelings. It doesn't put me off of him as a friend or anything at all, and it's not like he tried to make a move or anything because he's respectful and knows I don't feel the same, but it does remind me of what happened and makes it even harder to forget about. Recently it's started leaking into my DREAMS where my subconscious is apparently trying to gaslight me into thinking I like him when I definitely don't. And I swear I'm not just saying that. I've been through all the shit of trying to figure out if I actually liked him. I psychoanalysed myself so deeply I started spiralling multiple times. I came to the conclusion I didn't and I know damn well it's correct, so it's annoying my subconscious wants to backtrack on all of that.

Please can I have some advice on getting over it. It's really irritating me and I can't be dealing with it anymore. It's driving me nuts. I don't think I even WANT a relationship right now. I've made new friends after I started college (UK college just to clarify so any Americans don't get confused lol) and found myself and become more confident which erased all the issues I had that made me think I liked that guy in the first place.

Also, if you've been in or are in the same position, I get you twin. We can get over this eventually trust me 😭

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u/Visual_Apartment_831 — 8 hours ago
▲ 4 r/ADHD

How do I get my brain to just be quiet for once?

It's so exhausting having my brain be on 24/7. When I'm home alone I have to talk to myself constantly otherwise my inner monologue will get overwhelming. I have to have music or youtube on in the background pretty much any time I do anything to keep my head quiet and keep my attention span happy. I woke up in the middle of the night last night because my new nose piercing fell out (I got it back in and it's fine now, but my anxiety was definitely through the roof for a while afterwards) and when I tried to get back to sleep my mind would just not. shut. up. Every 5 seconds it switched between a song, a thought, a different song, my inner monologue begging my brain to just switch off and be quiet. I was almost on the verge of tears. My body was exhausted but my head was wide awake. I eventually got to sleep but I must've passed out from exhaustion because I don't remember my mind ever going quiet. I got so desperate I started COUNTING SHEEP, but the sheep kept speeding up so it was having the opposite effect.

All of this upsets me because as an art student I know I'd be drawing so much more and improving much quicker if this stupid disorder didn't get in my way. If anyone has any tips on how they cope with their inner monologue and the business of their brain being really fucking annoying please share. It's so draining. I feel like I'm defective or something.

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u/Visual_Apartment_831 — 5 days ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 96 r/bisexual

I am so SICK AND TIRED of biphobia and bi erasure

I think in many ways (not all ways or as a whole) biphobia is worse than homophobia because not only is it rife outside the LGBTQ community but also IN IT. I've heard from a concerning about of bi people that they've had negative experiences with lesbians in particular just because theyre bi and it upsets me. Like hey, we like girls too!!!!

It's so rooted in misogyny too. If a bi woman is with a woman people say "oh so you're just a lesbian then" but if a bi woman is with a man then they get so much shit like "you're not actually bi!" "you're just straight!" "you're not a true queer person!" And it baffles me because like, HELLO??? LIKING MULTIPLE GENDERS IS WHAT BISEXUALITY IS????

In fiction there's a lack of bi characters and half the time there is a bi character they end up coming out as homosexual in the end. When the character stays bi there's never any exploration into their experiences with their sexuality. And I don't think I've EVER seen a bi character thats dating someone of the opposite gender which SUCKS since I know that'll inevitably be me because I'm not comfortable coming out to my family (reminder that you don't owe coming out to anyone by the way! 💜)

I just want to feel seen. But I don't. And it sucks so fucking much.

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u/Visual_Apartment_831 — 5 days ago

Has anyone else gradually became more and more sex repulsed since they came out as ace? lol

I realised I was ace a few months ago (actually the people on this subreddit helped me so thanks!) When I came out I was sex neutral. Didn't really care. But slowly I've become more and more sex repulsed. I don't mind it actually. I'm quite happy in my little asexual bubble haha

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u/Visual_Apartment_831 — 6 days ago

will my nose piercing get infected after i put it back in without handwashing after it fell out?

this was literally like 5 minutes ago but i'm such an anxious person that i genuinely will not be able to sleep until i post this and hopefully get some advice in the morning. i was pretty much as half asleep as a person can get. i scratched my nose and my piercing (L bar - my piercer didn't have any others so I just accepted it since I thought I'd be fine) fell out all the way. took me a second to realise but when i did i ran to the bathroom even though i quite literally could not see where i was going because, yknow, half asleep. because i was half asleep (the sheer terror has now woken me up) i was so focused on getting it back in before it closed up that i forgot to wash my hands. i'm planning on going back to my piercer and seeing if they can change my jewellery to one with a flatback or something, but i can't do that if my nose gets infected. just about to clean it with saline to hopefully prevent that. how cooked am i? 😭

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u/Visual_Apartment_831 — 6 days ago