u/ToughAd7477

Situation: father of child left mother and child to go live out of state when baby was a few months old. Father has not been back to visit child in person since-last time he saw her was a couple months past 1 year ago. We were never married but he is on birth certificate.

He has sent monthly financial support for about a year, using excuses due to disagreements or financial instability a few times. He makes FaceTime calls with her 1-3 times per month, and creating a consistent schedule has been a challenge due to his resistance. He initially demanded a schedule, I agreed, but he failed to provide one to me when I asked him to create one that fits his schedule within the child’s provided awake windows. After asking 3 times he finally provided one, saying I don’t initiate contact enough.

There were also 3 domestic violence related incidents, one involving child abuse, that all went undocumented until over a year after the incidents. I have no proof of injuries but a police report had been made for documentation. I do have evidence of him admitting to one incident over voice message and destroyed property. The reason the incidents went documented so long, particularly the incident involving child abuse, was because I was of afraid retaliation and mainly afraid of him still gaining custody of the child, and he was already of state and out of the picture directly following that incident. Terrible decision I know, and the reports hold no weight being so long ago with no injury evidence- but they’re on paper now.

He’s been very difficult to co parent with, even out of state. Cussing me out multiple times over text, calling me out of my name, changing and cancelling FaceTime schedules, and recently demanding fees for me to obtain his signature on legal documents need for our child. Truthfully I’ve been extremely pleasant and accommodating. Even with his behavior I’ve never stooped to his level or retaliated- I actually feel I’m allowing him to run all over me by accommodating all these schedule changes with his rude behavior.

With this pattern, if I file for sole legal and physical custody how likely would it be that I’m granted that? Thanks.

I live in California and share a child with the father who is listed on the birth certificate. He currently resides in Florida and is minimally involved in our child's life. Recently, he's refusing to cooperate with signing the paperwork needed for our child's passport, despite my efforts to make the process easy and all expenses covered. He's demanding $50 for his time to get the passport form notarized.

Due to his continued control issues and inconsistent involvement, I'm preparing to pursue sole legal and physical custody. Our child currently lives with me full-time, and there is no existing custody agreement.

A year ago, I experienced domestic violence involving him, during which I was physically beaten while holding my child. I have an audiotape where he admits to the incident, reflecting on the fear in our daughter’s eyes. While there were no direct witnesses, I have evidence of my destroyed phone from that day and family members who saw my injuries afterward. I didn’t file a report at the time due to fear of him possibly gaining custody(knowing California is usually 50/50 even in DV/abuse cases).

In addition to custody, I would like to understand what I can expect after filing these police reports. Given that he is located in Florida, will there be a warrant for his arrest? Will this escalate to a court case or remain as a report initially?

I would appreciate guidance on how to proceed with filing for custody and addressing these past incidents legally.

Location: Sacramento, CA

I put this off for a long time because I was afraid of the legal consequences of starting a custody battle, and the father is out of state(Florida)and mainly out of the picture, but I’ve reached the point where I need to take this seriously.

The father of my child is currently refusing to cooperate with signing the paperwork needed for our child’s passport. He is minimally involved(inconsistently reaches out 1-3 x/month, inconsistently sends money), yet he is demanding that I pay him $50 for his time to get the passport form notarized— even though I agreed to prepare all of the documents, provide stamped envelopes, give step-by-step instructions, schedule the notary appointment, and paid the notary fee myself. This is a control issue that will only continue to escalate. Because of that, I am now preparing to pursue sole legal and physical custody.

I am planning to start by filing a police report for a domestic violence incident that happened about a year ago involving the father of my child. During that incident, I was assaulted, and at one point I was holding our child while it happened. I also have an audio recording of him verbally admitting to it, along with additional threats of future violence that I intend to report. I am also considering filing for a restraining order.

My main questions are:

-What usually happens after filing a domestic violence police report in this type of situation?

-Since he now lives in another state(Florida), could this lead to a warrant for his arrest?

-Does this usually remain a report at first, or can it quickly turn into family court/custody proceedings?

-Should I expect immediate legal action or a court date once these reports are filed?

I am trying to understand what to realistically expect before moving forward. Also, if anyone has recommendations for strong child custody attorneys in the Sacramento area who handle domestic violence cases, geared towards mothers/women I would truly appreciate it.

Looking for recommendations for a family law attorney in the Sacramento area who will strongly advocate for a mother’s rights in a domestic violence-related custody case.

I am seeking full legal custody, sole physical custody, and a no-contact order, so I need someone who is experienced in handling high-conflict cases and has a proven track record of protecting mothers and children. There was no marriage, so divorce proceedings are not a factor.

Cost is a factor, so I am hoping to keep fees as reasonable and predictable as possible, but I am willing to invest in the right attorney if they are truly effective. If anyone knows of attorneys who offer flat-fee arrangements or more controlled billing structures, I would especially appreciate those recommendations.

Thank you.

Hello, I will be filing a form DS-5525 for my child. The father is out of state and is able to be contacted, however, he is demanding absurd “service fees” up to $50 just for him going to get the paper notarized, and that’s with me mailing him envelopes, stamps, the paperwork, direction, scheduling a notary appointment for him, doing all the legwork. I’m deciding not to give in to this because it’s only going to escalate to him demanding a “service fee@ for every legal document that needs to be signed in the future, which will be a lot when it comes to school, medical documents, etc.

I will be sending proof of his responses and demands in with my form DS-5525. What are the chances of this getting approved? Are there any tips that will make this more likely to get approved?

Note: I will be submitting police reports of domestic violence and physical threats, and filing a restraining order against him, so when I have those I can submit that proof with the passport form as well.

It’s my baby’s second week of daycare, her sixth day. She is 19 months and understand that this transition is going to be difficult, but she’s crying hard for 30 minutes plus at times. How long should the daycare let her cry before picking her up? If it’s too difficult for her, I’ll just have to figure something else out, but if she is this much in distress, I don’t know if it’s worth it. It seems like there is no standardization in the amount of time that a child should be let to cry before parents are contacted. What si your recommendation?

It’s my baby’s second week of daycare, her sixth day. She is 19 months and understand that this transition is going to be difficult, but even with comforting she’s crying hard for 30 minutes plus at times. I’ve already had to pick her up twice for crying an hour nonstop, shaking, just doing really poorly.

How long should the daycare let her cry before picking her up? If she is this much in distress, I don’t know if it’s worth it. It seems like there is no standardization in the amount of time that a child should be allowed to cry before parents are contacted. What is your recommendation?

Hi everyone,

This might be a simple question, but I wanted to get some input before I respond to my child’s father.

I’m applying for a U.S. passport for my child and need to have Form DS-3053 completed (Statement of Consent for a Minor). The other parent is willing to sign, but is saying I should pay for the notary fee and a “service fee” for them completing/signing the form. I don’t have an issue with the idea of paying the notary fee since I’m requesting, however, I think adding on the service fee for a normal parental responsibility is ridiculous and he’s just trying to make my life more difficult.

From what I’ve looked up, a notary fee is usually pretty small (around $10–$20 depending on location).

For context:

- I am the parent initiating the passport application for an international trip

- The other parent is not consistently involved day-to-day, located in another state

My questions:

1. Is it typical for the requesting parent (me) to cover the notary fee, or does the signing parent usually handle it since it’s their signature?
2. Has anyone dealt with a situation where the other parent tried to add extra fees beyond the notary itself?
3. What is generally considered standard or reasonable here?

Just trying to get an idea of what is normal before I respond. Thanks in advance.

Edit: I offered to send him the documents, instructions, an envelope, a stamp, and pay the notary fee directly in advance to absorb all costs associated with this. He responded with this message:

Hello,

The mailing address is as follows:

Xxx

For notary services, the area code I typically use is 342xx. If you prefer to handle the research for a notary yourself, you are welcome to do so. Otherwise, I can assist with locating a notary for a research fee of $15.

Additionally, there will be a $35 processing fee to cover my time and travel expenses. These fees will be added to the total cost, along with the notary fee and mailing expenses, once finalized.

Please let me know how you would like to proceed.

Thank you and have a great day.

Warm regards,

Xxx

Wtf 🤣🤣 I am honestly speechless at how minuscule his brain is! How do you even respond to this?