u/NoProfession4771

View Poll

Choose any.

View Poll

View Poll

I have been a therapist for a few years and still do. Anyone else, or do you get used to it as you get more experience?

View Poll

They loved me, gave me everything physically, but didn’t really teach me anything or help me grow.

My parents were never really the “typically parents” per se. Like they never had rules about screen time and bed time. They cared a lot about my academics and my performance in general, but they didn’t care if I spent 12 hours a day watching TV, went 3 weeks without a shower (yes I know gross…), or went to bed late.

Of course I enjoyed a lack of structure when I was a kid, but as I’m older I realize that it’s important for a kid to get enough sleep and to not be spending all day on screens. And that this probably affected my development.

With the shower thing, they litterally didn’t teach me hygiene at all. never taught me to brush my teeth, to the point where I had 5-6 cavities by kindergarten. When I grew up, I had to teach myself everything about hygiene. I had tangled in my hair all the time, did not start brushing my teeth until I was 10 or so, didn’t know it wasn’t normal to go weeks w out a bath.

Idk if I’m being dramatic about this… my parents had money and gave me everything I needed, even sent me to a private school.

Anyone else who realized their parents didn’t really raise them in the way they needed?

I am a new therapist and I’m how to build that really close and trusting relationship with all my clients.

With the help of my therapist, I recently realized that I was neglected (emotionally, also physical) as a child. It has stirred up a lot of feelings, sadness, shame, frustration, etc. I’m curious to hear about other’s experiences w this.

Okay, I could write pages on this but I’ll sum it up

Hygienic aspect: I wasn’t taught proper hygiene, like at all. My parents never brushed my teeth, to the point where I had 5/6 cavities by the time I was in Kindergarten. After my grandma left when I was seven (she was the one mainly taking care of me), weeks would go by without me getting a bath or shower. I remember my hair being in tangles a lot, not having it brushed often especially after my grandma left.

This affected me a lot when I hit puberty, as I began showering myself and dealing with my own hygiene. But since I didn’t know how, my hygiene was quite poor. Since I had bathed once every few weeks, I didn’t know any different and kept that up. I finally started brushing my teeth, not flossing, but it was still smth. I had tangled and knots in my hair a lot. My sister came to visit me and told me that I smelled bad, etc. etc.

Emotional: we were never the type of family to be rly close w each other. This bothered me a lot as a kid. There were many kind of smaller things that he opened, on big one I can think of is self harm.

I stared Self harming at age 10. I wore short sleeves e cute in my arms, left knives in my room. Rly didn’t try to hide it.

My thought process was “they prob won’t notice it, but even if they do they won’t care much” and I was sort of right about it. I mean, they didn’t find out till I was 12 and when my mom found out she asked me if I was dumb and moved on w studying as if nothing happened.

Anyway, there were more I could describe. But anyway with my therapist I have realized I was neglected and there were some needs not being met. I feel a lot of stuff. I guess maybe look at my parents a bit different? Like I love them so much, but I’ve always known smth was wrong. Not like i knew it was neglect, but I’ve also felt like our family was different than other families, like we didn’t spend as much time together and weren’t as close.

I guess now I realize why I felt like that. Like it wasn’t just all in my head, my parents WERE different than typical parent child dynamics.

I feel shame, honestly. My parents worked so hard and material wise, they provided me w more than I could ask for. I know they tried their bet and I feel bad for being upset.

Also maybe I feel a little e jealous, like when ppl say “my mom is my best friend” or smth, I WISH my mom and I were tight like that.

Angry too, like I had to teach myself so much about taking care of myself. I feel like why did I have to learn it all by myself, when other kids parents taught them?

Anyway that’s my little spiel, anyone who maybe can relate or has any advice would be so appreciated.

I was on the roof of my apartment yesterday. Sitting on the edge. I wish I had done it. Not that I was exactly anxious when looking over the edge, just scared to jump. So I just sat there wishing I would just die right then and there without having to do anything.

when I came back I had a deep regret for not killing myself. For not just jumping off the roof when I had the chance. I would not be here anymore or deal w anything anymore if I had just gotten it over with and jumped. How do I just jump off without feeling scared?

I’m not looking for “it gets better” I just want to know how

I was on the roof of my apartment about an hour ago. Sitting on the edge of the roof. I wish I had done it. It seemed scary. Not that I was exactly anxious when looking over the edge, just scared to jump. So I just sat there wishing somebody would just take me. I would just die right then and there without having to do anything. when I came back I had a deep regret for not killing my self. For not just jumping off the roof when I had the chance. I thought I would hit ha wit be here anymore or deal w anything anymore if I had just gotten it over with and jumped.