Everywhere i go i feel like im being watched. infront of a window, someone is watching me. even if im in my room or bathroom it feels like angels/deceased people are watching over me and judging me when i do something private or odd i cant do anything.
smooth sharp things are way too painful and im using those small razors. serrated knifes dont work so im stuck with the razor but i feel like a coward for not going deeper.
to be honest i thought i would never do it but last night i decided i would cuz i had a very very hard day and i can’t. stop. thinking. about. it. i did it today multiple times and i feel like I can’t stop even if i was the most healthiest person in the world sigh I should’ve never done it but at the same time I don’t feel anything at all
Sometimes when im going through my grades and stuff, my bff notices that i may not have some stuff done and would sometimes take my chromebook to write something for one of my teachers even after i said no repeatedly. Once or twice she literally grabbed me trying to convince me to do something i dont wanna do. Like, i get she’s trying to help, but i dont want it..