u/LectureUnlikely9727

I'm a bi trans guy. I'm transitioning and I feel some immense relief finally being able to be on testosterone. I feel calmer and more at peace with myself. At the same time, I'm frustrated by constantly having to prove my masculinity over and over again in dating and just life in general. I love being and presenting as a guy and I wouldn't want it any other way, but I don't like masculine norms. I find them frustrating. I don't completely fit the box. It honestly kind of surprised me how many people (both girls and guys) criticized me for being stylish or wearing makeup. Most of the time I don't do it, but sometimes I want to. I think it's maybe because people claimed to be more open? I'm feeling discouraged and I want to know if people are in successful relationships where this stops mattering? I just want to be able to find someone I can fully be myself with.

I'm a bi trans guy. I'm transitioning and I feel some immense relief finally being able to be on testosterone. I feel calmer and more at peace with myself. At the same time, I'm frustrated by constantly having to prove my masculinity over and over again in dating and just life in general. I love being and presenting as a guy and I wouldn't want it any other way, but I don't like masculine norms. I find them frustrating. I don't completely fit the box. It honestly kind of surprised me how many people (both girls and guys) criticized me for being stylish or wearing makeup. I think it's maybe because people claimed to be more open? I'm feeling discouraged and I want to know if people are in successful relationships where this stops mattering. I just want to be able to find someone I can fully be myself with.

I'm writing an lgbtq+ romance novel right now with two main male leads. I know these books are getting more popular, but I also don't want to waste my time with publishers that are not interested. It's contemporary and feel good with no spice. I've looked into publishers and I've found a lot of smaller ones. Unforunately, some look like they have AI generated covers/and or the cover design is very lacking which I automatically don't like. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with writing this kind of book. What are your thoughts in regards to publishing?

Now that I'm further into passing, I've noticed it is much harder to connect with people. I don't miss being seen as girl, but I miss some of the social niceties of being a girl (feeling safe experimenting with style, variety of clothing, being able to give compliments to strangers, easy community, etc.). I also don't feel like the queer community welcomes trans men in the same way they welcome other groups. I've been purposefully shut out many times. Now, when I try to experiment with clothing or style, people tend to have a negative reaction. It feels like the only thing I'm allowed to do is work out lol. When I try to mention this, esp in queer spaces, people are not receptive to it. Is anyone else experiencing this?

Now that I'm further into passing, I've noticed it is much harder to connect with people. I don't miss being seen as girl, but I miss some of the social niceties of being a girl (feeling safe experimenting with style, variety of clothing, being able to give compliments to strangers, easy community, etc.). I also don't feel like the queer community welcomes trans men in the same way they welcome other groups. I've been purposefully shut out many times. Now, when I try to experiment with clothing or style, people tend to have a negative reaction. It feels like the only thing I'm allowed to do is work out lol. When I try to mention this, esp in queer spaces, people are not receptive to it. Is anyone else experiencing this?