u/LandscapeOwn8096

My husband recently accepted a new job with around a 40% salary increase, but the hours are much longer and the commute is much farther (1.5 hour drive). Before, he used to be home by 4 pm. Now he’ll probably be home around 7 pm every day.

His old workplace did offer him a raise to stay, which would have been around an 18% increase, but it still didn’t match the new job offer so he decided to go for the new job. The issue for me isn’t really the money or the work hours, I would manage otherwise but… I’m 10 weeks pregnant with our first baby. I’m scared that once the baby is here, he’ll spend most of his time working or commuting and barely have time with us as a family and I’ll have to do everything alone. (For reference, we both work).

I feel hurt because it feels like he made this decision based on wanting to leave his old workplace and work somewhere “better” to climb up the career ladder without fully thinking about how this would affect us as a family and the baby. To be fair to him, he did tell me he was anxious about the financial costs and providing for the baby and I think that may have also been a big motivator to take this job.

He started today and I’m honestly freaking out. I’m upset with him. I tried to encourage him to stay at the old job because the hours were shorter, even if the raise was smaller, but he really wanted this new opportunity and I didn’t want to feel like I was controlling his decisions or not encouraging him to dream big so I took the back seat. I feel so upset but I don’t know if I’m being hormonal.

Am I overreacting?

typing this in tears

i’ve had a full day of back to back tech failures on my medtronic pump and sensor, which has genuinely never happened to me before.

i’m absolutely terrible at managing my blood sugar without the pump’s smartguard option, which usually does microcorrections and adjusts things automatically. i specifically went onto this system to help lower my HbA1c before and during pregnancy, and i finally got it down to 6.2.

i had a terrible first trimester and today i finally felt like i had enough energy to go to the beach. well. apparently any remote form of joy gets punished immediately.

my pump site fell off.
i replaced it.
then my sensor failed.
i replaced that too and it was pairing.
then the sensor failed again.
then i put a new one on and started bleeding like crazy, blood literally squirting everywhere, which has also never happened to me before.
then the new one wouldn’t pair because the transmitter stopped blinking completely and is essentially dead.

i was on the helpline for an hour and they finally told me the transmitter failed. they’ll replace it but the offices are closed so i have to wait until tomorrow morning.

so i’ve had to manually manage my blood sugar the past 12 hours within a really strict pregnancy range and i’ve been struggling badly. my sugars haven’t been insanely high but i went to take a long nap and woke up sitting around 190 to 200 and i feel so unbelievably guilty and terrified that i’m hurting my baby.

i’m correcting slowly now and picking up the replacement transmitter tomorrow morning but i genuinely hate this so much. i really hope my baby is okay. i’m freaking out. i really wish i had a normal pregnancy. i just wanted to go to the beach.

I did CrossFit for 3 years, then stopped for a year or two. I came back 3 months before getting pregnant.

I’m now 9 weeks pregnant and finally feeling well enough to start working out again. At the gym, every coach who sees my pump and CGM, and then hears I’m pregnant, advises me not to join the Hyrox or CrossFit classes, even though I explain I’ll scale everything down. No barbell, no heavy core movements, no max effort work.

They all seem nervous, which I understand, but it’s making me question myself.

Are there any other women with T1D who stayed active with weight training during pregnancy?

I’ve been diabetic since age 4 and I’m now 29 and pregnant. I’ve never used glucagon in my life. I took Baqsimi because I had a lot of insulin on board from a meal I anticipated eating, plus a correction for a high. I’m pregnant and sometimes I physically can’t bring myself to eat, and today was one of those days. My blood sugar had dropped to 38 and I tried correcting with juice but hit my limit and felt like I was going to throw up, so my husband used Baqsimi. Now I’m 155 and rising. How do I manage this now? Do I correct if I keep going higher? How long should I expect the high to last?

9 weeks t1d first pregnancy
i got a scan at 4 weeks to confirm pregnancy was in utero
and then again at 7 weeks to confirm heart beat.
all was well, my dr said next scan is at 12 weeks. is that common for high risk pregnancies? should i book a private scan earlier?
how many scans did u get overall?

to preface, my husband is extremely helpful and sweet.

i’m in my first trimester. i used to be active and enjoyed going to the gym, skiing, hiking, and going to the beach. ever since i got pregnant, i’ve felt progressively weaker. now i’m 9 weeks and have even taken time off work because im too fatigued to go and have spent most of my days in bed or on the couch (its currently 4 pm and i am still in bed).

my husband has continued with his normal life. he does activities once a week and goes to the gym for 90-minute sessions multiple times a week after work. i feel resentful and almost jealous. it feels like my life is on pause while he gets to live normally like nothing’s happened!

again to be clear he is extremely helpful and takes care of me. he cooks, cleans, and does everything. would drop everything to get me what i need/take me anywhere. meanwhile, i’m sleeping, lying around, and gaining weight like a fking slob. but i still can’t help feeling angry.

i don’t know if these feelings are normal. i find myself wanting to ask him not to go to the gym or to cut back on his activities but it feels controlling and irrational.

what do u guys think? lol feel free be brutally honest

first trimester pregnancy with my dysfunctional family..

my family disapproved of my husband because he isn’t from our cultural background. we come from a conservative brown culture. lately they’ve become more “accepting” or more “tolerant” of me, but they still refuse to meet him, especially my father.

my brother also says he’s “not ready to see me.” my mom was not supportive at first either, although eventually she stood by me, but with a lot of comments like “you’ve put me through hell with the extended family.”

i feel stuck in this weird limbo where i’m trying to be welcomed back into the family in the hope that one day they’ll fully accept my husband. my brother doesn’t even want me attending our weekly family lunches. my parents have accommodated this and asked me not to come. theyve recently added me back into the family group chat, but my brother left it because of me.

now i’m pregnant and it stings even more. i’m honestly fed up. i broke down and told my family that it feels unfair that they keep accommodating my brother. i told them they should draw a line and say this is a family gathering and everyone is welcome.

their response is that he is still “healing” from this, that this has been difficult for them, and that they’re doing their best by tolerating my marriage in the end. again repeating that i’ve put them through hell but they’ve still accepted to see me (separately from my brother). to be fair to them, they do still support me financially sometimes and send me money. so i do feel guilty.

what hurts most is that my brother was my closest sibling before all of this. his reaction completely blindsided me.

i’m so sad because i see how they treated my sister-in-law, even though she treats them terribly. they practically worshipped the ground she walked on, especially during her pregnancy. they were so careful with her feelings and comfort. meanwhile i feel like a second-class citizen in my own family and no one even cares that i’m pregnant and shouldn’t be so stressed.

it’s hard for me to “walk away” because in our culture that isn’t really accepted. but i keep wondering whether staying in this middle space is even worth it. will they fully accept me one day? will they never? how do i bring a child into this? what happens when my child grows up and asks why dad never comes to grandpa’s house? i don’t want my child growing up around these wounds and tensions.

i’m hurting deeply. i carry so much shame around this. i’m treated like i’m a failure or a dishonor because i chose the man i love.

the hardest part is that outside of this, i know i’ve built a good life. i’m successful, i have a good career, a master’s degree, and i worked incredibly hard for everything i achieved. yet somehow i still feel reduced to a disappointment because of who i married (who btw is a lovely successful man).

i’m exhausted and i feel so depressed. life just feels so incredibly unfair. just want to vent

first trimester pregnancy with my dysfunctional family..

my family disapproved of my husband because he isn’t from our cultural background. we come from a conservative brown culture. lately they’ve become more “accepting” or more “tolerant” of me, but they still refuse to meet him, especially my father.

my brother also says he’s “not ready to see me.” my mom was not supportive at first either, although eventually she stood by me, but with a lot of comments like “you’ve put me through hell with the extended family.”

i feel stuck in this weird limbo where i’m trying to be welcomed back into the family in the hope that one day they’ll fully accept my husband. my brother doesn’t even want me attending our weekly family lunches. my parents have accommodated this and asked me not to come. theyve recently added me back into the family group chat, but my brother left it because of me.

now i’m pregnant and it stings even more. i’m honestly fed up. i broke down and told my family that it feels unfair that they keep accommodating my brother. i told them they should draw a line and say this is a family gathering and everyone is welcome.

their response is that he is still “healing” from this, that this has been difficult for them, and that they’re doing their best by tolerating my marriage in the end. again repeating that i’ve put them through hell but they’ve still accepted to see me (separately from my brother). to be fair to them, they do still support me financially sometimes and send me money. so i do feel guilty.

what hurts most is that my brother was my closest sibling before all of this. his reaction completely blindsided me.

i’m so sad because i see how they treated my sister-in-law, even though she treats them terribly. they practically worshipped the ground she walked on, especially during her pregnancy. they were so careful with her feelings and comfort. meanwhile i feel like a second-class citizen in my own family and no one even cares that i’m pregnant and shouldn’t be so stressed.

it’s hard for me to “walk away” because in our culture that isn’t really accepted. but i keep wondering whether staying in this middle space is even worth it. will they fully accept me one day? will they never? how do i bring a child into this? what happens when my child grows up and asks why dad never comes to grandpa’s house? i don’t want my child growing up around these wounds and tensions.

i’m hurting deeply. i carry so much shame around this. i’m treated like i’m a failure or a dishonor because i chose the man i love.

the hardest part is that outside of this, i know i’ve built a good life. i’m successful, i have a good career, a master’s degree, and i worked incredibly hard for everything i achieved. yet somehow i still feel reduced to a disappointment because of who i married (who btw is a lovely successful man).

i’m exhausted and i feel so depressed. life just feels so incredibly unfair. just want to vent

i need perspectives from people who are from desi, arab, or middle eastern backgrounds (or similar ) please.

my husband and i live in a different country from his family (my in laws). my husband and i come from different cultural backgrounds but we’re both brown. i’m not very close with my own family, while he is extremely family oriented. to be fair, his family are genuinely very nice.

we agreed that we want his mom there for the birth, and we’ll be buying her a ticket so she can come and then also stay for a couple of days after. but in my culture/background, after a woman gives birth there usually isn’t an expectation to host or have many visitors, even close family. normally only the women closest to her, like her mother or sisters, visit during that period. then after 40 days there’s usually a larger gathering for the family to officially meet the baby. the in-laws/paternal family are usually only involved very little, or only come to see the baby in hospital for a short visit so that’s what i’m used to but i’m willing to compromise as my MIL is genuinely very sweet and i’m ok to have her for the birth and a few days after while i’m still in hospital.

what’s stressing me out is that because my MIL is flying in from another country, there’s this added pressure that she’ll be with us all day rather than doing short visits and may want to stay longer than a few days with us. this country is unfamiliar to her and she’s not the type to know how to navigate the city or do things on her own so i know she will be with us the whole time and there will be this pressure to make sure she’s doing ok. we already arranged both a night nurse and a day nurse for the first month, so we don’t really need extra hands. for context my mom already knows she will probably only come for short visits (i have clear boundaries with my mom and we are in a good place because of them - she understands).

i feel overwhelmed thinking about having so many people in the apartment after birth. my mom, MIL, day nurse, night nurse. the idea of constantly having people in my space during such a vulnerable time is making me anxious. especially people i need to be on my “best behavior” around per say.

my husband doesn’t fully get my perspective. to him, having more people around feels supportive and helpful. he is willing to follow my preferences and what i’m comfortable with, but i don’t think he understands why this feels overwhelming to me or why i’m pushing back on his mom staying for long.

am i being unreasonable? i need people to be brutally honest with me.

i have a history of an eating disorder and really bad body image issues, and i’m finding the weight gain to be the hardest part of pregnancy.

i can cope with the nausea, vomiting, and feeling physically awful, but the weight gain feels unbearable.

i’ve gained 6 kilos (13 lbs) and i’m only 8 weeks pregnant. i know why ive gained so much - i can only tolerate junk food, and if i stop eating, i feel nauseous, so i literally end up eating junk food constantly throughout the day. if i try to eat anything else, god forbid anything remotely healthy, it sets me off.

i feel bigger everywhere. my arms, my legs, the folds on my body. i’m just so aware of it all and i’m really really struggling and don’t know how to help myself, i don’t know how to just “let go”.

i feel so jealous of thinner women who seem to gain weight and still look slim during pregnancy, while i look a fucking whale.

i feel so alone.

first trimester here noticing something (t1d)

when i get a low, i feel absolutely shattered. like i genuinely need to take a 30-40 minute nap after to recover (which ive ended up doing at work - literally just locked myself in my office and slept on the floor just to create an image of how absolutely wrecked i get) and i don’t feel like myself for around 2 hours after, just feel super heavy and fatigued.

i’m not usually like this - before pregnancy id just take some gummies, wait 15 minutes, and get on with my day.

has anyone else experienced this?