u/Intrepid_Arrival5151

So for summary, I was dumb, I was worried about not seeming interested fast enough, I just assumed I would have to initiate everything or literally nothing would happen, so instead of it just happening I asked for the third date if you'd like to stay overnight somewhere, and yeah.

So I didn't resist her boundaries, and I made a direct apology to her, we have a date scheduled at a couple specific places and the time, but the energy feels different talking to her, I get the energy she's wary nonetheless I just want to smash and run for it, which I can't really definitively prove beyond how I act from now on, does that mean continuing on normally, making amends and shutting up?

I went on a second date with this girl I've been talking to for a couple weeks, definitely started having some noticeable intimacy by this point, we were hugging each other a lot, and we kissed at the end, I was really warming up to her at this point and all that.

I texted her later about seeing each other again to which she agreed to, but I also asked if she felt alright with staying together for the night next time beforehand, which she rejected and said that's just too early for her, which is fine, but I don't know if it's negative self talk because I do honestly feel gross about myself, but I swear even though we scheduled another date and place I feel like her interest is starting to wane

Not like in a you're ugly way, but a "you're kinda fucking weird way" I went on a second date with this girl I've been talking to for a couple weeks, definitely started having some noticeable intimacy by this point, we were hugging each other a lot, and we kissed at the end.

I texted her later about seeing each other again to which she agreed to, but I also asked if she felt alright with staying together for the night next time which she rejected and said that's just too early for her, which is all fine, but I don't feel very good at all knowing it, like I almost feel embarrassed about showing my face after blundering like that when we meet at the aquarium on Friday.

Met yesterday, made plans that night over text to meet on Sunday, and this is the first time I wasn't rejected for a secone date, 10 hours since I sent a message this morning 🫠 definitely considering the worst a bit

So we're meeting for another date tomorrow and on the last one before she got on the shuttle that takes people to her university, I'm staring at the incoming shuttle wondering if that was finally the one after seeing a million other busses pass through the city, and I turn around to her after feeling something bump into and she's staring at me really hard while asking oh what were you looking at and that just caught me off guard lol.

As far as we know, anomalies have always existed alongside humans, and the concept of containing anything that defies reality is an idea that stretches all the back to our earliest days, so why is there even a veil in the first place? Wouldn't anomalies just be an accepted part of life? I mean obviously people would want to still fight it off, but keep it secret?

Go ahead, you can go do your little song and dance routine saying why that's wrong, I won't plan on stopping you, but the fact of the matter is what people say is a hell of a lot different from what people actually do.

You know what I see people I know do when they finally couple up? Every time each other just make each other the center of their world and forget and leave the rest of the world behind them. Do I really need to tell you how many people will just settle with their partner, maybe have children, and that's just most of their daily life now?

But oh no I'm just so fucking stupid feeling like not having a lover makes a jagged hole in my heart aren't I, clearly these coupled up people wouldn't just utterly lose their soul if you cut them off from their partner for eternity wouldn't they?

Sorry for my cynicism, but it almost seems like something only on paper and not really in practice, not even just uncommon, for interns to have gotten their spot through some other way besides knowing a guy.

I'm already a community college student who's not gonna be able to build a large network during freshman and sophomore to maximize all the opportunities I'll get as an upperclassmen