u/Graphic_Void

Sorry for such a long post, but it was necessary for the full context. Yeh pichle saal hua, aur bahut dino tak mera shoshan hua.

Me M23 and my last ex were in the same college, masters final year. Me being a guy from Bihar, and she was Telugu, let’s call her Avantika.

Before relationship, we were actually really good friends.

So me and Avantika met during an interview. It was my birthday that day, and as usual nobody remembered, not even family till the next day. Still I was confident and chilling. We both gave interviews and got selected.

Before the final round, we were 5 people sitting together discussing random things. She suddenly noticed my ID card, caught my DOB, and wished me. After the selection announcement, I gave her a treat.

Among those 5 people there was another girl too, let’s call her Dipika. After pizza she asked me to play badminton the next day, I agreed.

Now Dipika brought her Bengali friend, let’s call her Sneha.

Sneha was extremely extroverted, and me being close to Bengali culture/language, we synced instantly as friends. That too she and Avantika both were among the hottest girls in our university. But with Sneha, it was genuinely platonic from my side.

Avantika on the other hand was different. She played violin, did Kathak, loved maths and research, drew beautifully, was religious, used to take me to temples daily, played PS5😭, we even completed Split Fiction together. One of the smartest women I’ve met.

And yes, she was beautiful too. Looked something like Wamiqa Gabbi, slightly darker complexion than mine, absolute goddess in sarees. Her skin used to glow like gold and hazelnut in sun. Ufff......

So after around a month, we got into a relationship. But she insisted to keep it private, so we did.

Now Sneha since day one was very physically touchy and emotionally attached to me. I never saw it as a threat because friends sometimes behave closely. But because nobody knew about my relationship with Avantika, things slowly became weird.

Sneha would hug me constantly, sleep or cry on my shoulders in library, forcibly sit beside me and indirectly push Avantika away from seats near me. I was studying for govt exams, so she started taking interest in my subjects too.

Avantika obviously started feeling uncomfortable.

Then Sneha jokingly started calling me “pseudohubby” which started as joke where she made this ring with grass and asked me to wear it. One day both of them went together to washroom, and there Sneha told Avantika:

“I wish one day I marry him.”

Final nail in the coffin.

Now comes the weirdest part.

I was lowkey molested by both of them😭

Avantika was my girlfriend so her teasing felt natural and romantic. But Sneha despite me clearly calling her out multiple times for spanking me, touching me inappropriately, saying romantic stuff like “suniye ji” in a wife tone, would always laugh it off as a joke.

And mind you, she was already involved with like 4 guys simultaneously, so from my side she was always a complete no.

Now me and Avantika had a very clear mutual deal:

No sex before marriage.

She communicated her boundaries clearly, and I respected them fully.

But slowly, maybe due to Sneha’s influence or jealousy or possessiveness, something changed in Avantika.

She became insanely romantic and physically aggressive with me. She constanly craved PDA, and my college campus strictly had strict no-PDA policy.

She would intentionally create cozy situations where one thing would lead to another, and every single time I had to stop things before we crossed the final line because I knew once we lost control, we both wouldn’t stop.

And trust me, resisting her was NOT easy😭

She had a very high drive, and so did I. But we had mutually agreed to wait.

The funny part is, the same things she initially called “her boundaries”, she herself slowly started initiating all of them. Third base especially😭

At one point we both literally looked bruised half the time because of bite marks, scratches, hickeys and all.

And yes, I enjoyed it too, not denying that. But it genuinely shocked me how intensely romantic and physical she became over time (less than a week).

She also started becoming very possessive of me in front of Sneha, which eventually turned into this invisible competition between both of them for my attention.

And honestly? A part of me enjoyed it too😭 Obviously I still prioritized my girlfriend.

Sneha eventually had a complete emotional meltdown saying I had changed and cried a lot. Full drama.

Meanwhile Avantika became even more aggressive romantically and wanted me to become more aggressive too during intimate moments. I’m not a sadist but a dominant type naturally, but I won’t lie, I enjoyed being desired that much.

Then college ended.

I moved to Japan for work. She moved to Bangalore.

I asked her to tell her family about us eventually, but suddenly all the north-south, caste, family complications appeared out of nowhere.

After a long painful phase, we broke up.

And till today I genuinely wonder:

Women often complain that men sexualize them too much. But when a man genuinely values companionship, emotional connection, gentleness, friendship, loyalty, patience… why does everything eventually still become so centered around sex and physicality?

Sneha never valued my friendship despite me helping her endlessly.

Avantika too, despite all the emotional bond we had, eventually became overwhelmingly physical towards me.

I managed hospital stuff when her father got a heart attack.

I supported both emotionally beyond limits.

But sometimes it feels like the moment you’re not sexually available enough, all the emotional value gets sidelined.

Do women actually want gentle companionship? Or do they ultimately want someone who dominates them physically and sexually once feelings develop deeply?

Genuine question. Not hating. Just confused.

#TL;DR:

Met a Telugu girl in masters, became close friends, eventually dated with a strict “no sex before marriage” rule. Another female friend got emotionally attached to me too, creating jealousy and tension. Over time my girlfriend became extremely physically intense despite originally setting boundaries herself. Relationship later ended because of distance/family/caste issues. Now I’m confused why emotional companionship in relationships eventually seems to get overtaken by physical desire, even when both people initially valued emotional connection more.

Sorry for such a long post, but it was necessary for the full context. Yeh pichle saal hua, aur bahut dino tak mera shoshan hua.

Me M23 and my last ex were in the same college, masters final year. Me being a guy from Bihar, and she was Telugu, let’s call her Avantika.

Before relationship, we were actually really good friends.

So me and Avantika met during an interview. It was my birthday that day, and as usual nobody remembered, not even family till the next day. Still I was confident and chilling. We both gave interviews and got selected.

Before the final round, we were 5 people sitting together discussing random things. She suddenly noticed my ID card, caught my DOB, and wished me. After the selection announcement, I gave her a treat.

Among those 5 people there was another girl too, let’s call her Dipika. After pizza she asked me to play badminton the next day, I agreed.

Now Dipika brought her Bengali friend, let’s call her Sneha.

Sneha was extremely extroverted, and me being close to Bengali culture/language, we synced instantly as friends. That too she and Avantika both were among the hottest girls in our university. But with Sneha, it was genuinely platonic from my side.

Avantika on the other hand was different. She played violin, did Kathak, loved maths and research, drew beautifully, was religious, used to take me to temples daily, played PS5😭, we even completed Split Fiction together. One of the smartest women I’ve met.

And yes, she was beautiful too. Looked something like Wamiqa Gabbi, slightly darker complexion than mine, absolute goddess in sarees. Her skin used to glow like gold and hazelnut in sun. Ufff......

So after around a month, we got into a relationship. But she insisted to keep it private, so we did.

Now Sneha since day one was very physically touchy and emotionally attached to me. I never saw it as a threat because friends sometimes behave closely. But because nobody knew about my relationship with Avantika, things slowly became weird.

Sneha would hug me constantly, sleep or cry on my shoulders in library, forcibly sit beside me and indirectly push Avantika away from seats near me. I was studying for govt exams, so she started taking interest in my subjects too.

Avantika obviously started feeling uncomfortable.

Then Sneha jokingly started calling me “pseudohubby” which started as joke where she made this ring with grass and asked me to wear it. One day both of them went together to washroom, and there Sneha told Avantika:

“I wish one day I marry him.”

Final nail in the coffin.

Now comes the weirdest part.

I was lowkey molested by both of them😭

Avantika was my girlfriend so her teasing felt natural and romantic. But Sneha despite me clearly calling her out multiple times for spanking me, touching me inappropriately, saying romantic stuff like “suniye ji” in a wife tone, would always laugh it off as a joke.

And mind you, she was already involved with like 4 guys simultaneously, so from my side she was always a complete no.

Now me and Avantika had a very clear mutual deal:

No sex before marriage.

She communicated her boundaries clearly, and I respected them fully.

But slowly, maybe due to Sneha’s influence or jealousy or possessiveness, something changed in Avantika.

She became insanely romantic and physically aggressive with me. She constanly craved PDA, and my college campus strictly had strict no-PDA policy.

She would intentionally create cozy situations where one thing would lead to another, and every single time I had to stop things before we crossed the final line because I knew once we lost control, we both wouldn’t stop.

And trust me, resisting her was NOT easy😭

She had a very high drive, and so did I. But we had mutually agreed to wait.

The funny part is, the same things she initially called “her boundaries”, she herself slowly started initiating all of them. Third base especially😭

At one point we both literally looked bruised half the time because of bite marks, scratches, hickeys and all.

And yes, I enjoyed it too, not denying that. But it genuinely shocked me how intensely romantic and physical she became over time (less than a week).

She also started becoming very possessive of me in front of Sneha, which eventually turned into this invisible competition between both of them for my attention.

And honestly? A part of me enjoyed it too😭 Obviously I still prioritized my girlfriend.

Sneha eventually had a complete emotional meltdown saying I had changed and cried a lot. Full drama.

Meanwhile Avantika became even more aggressive romantically and wanted me to become more aggressive too during intimate moments. I’m not a sadist but a dominant type naturally, but I won’t lie, I enjoyed being desired that much.

Then college ended.

I moved to Japan for work. She moved to Bangalore.

I asked her to tell her family about us eventually, but suddenly all the north-south, caste, family complications appeared out of nowhere.

After a long painful phase, we broke up.

And till today I genuinely wonder:

Women often complain that men sexualize them too much. But when a man genuinely values companionship, emotional connection, gentleness, friendship, loyalty, patience… why does everything eventually still become so centered around sex and physicality?

Sneha never valued my friendship despite me helping her endlessly.

Avantika too, despite all the emotional bond we had, eventually became overwhelmingly physical towards me.

I managed hospital stuff when her father got a heart attack.

I supported both emotionally beyond limits.

But sometimes it feels like the moment you’re not sexually available enough, all the emotional value gets sidelined.

Do women actually want gentle companionship? Or do they ultimately want someone who dominates them physically and sexually once feelings develop deeply?

Genuine question. Not hating. Just confused.

#TL;DR:

Met a Telugu girl in masters, became close friends, eventually dated with a strict “no sex before marriage” rule. Another female friend got emotionally attached to me too, creating jealousy and tension. Over time my girlfriend became extremely physically intense despite originally setting boundaries herself. Relationship later ended because of distance/family/caste issues. Now I’m confused why emotional companionship in relationships eventually seems to get overtaken by physical desire, even when both people initially valued emotional connection more.

Sorry for such a long post, but it was necessary for the full context.

Me M23 and my last ex were in the same college, masters final year. Me being a guy from Bihar, and she was Telugu, let’s call her Avantika.

Before relationship, we were actually really good friends.

So me and Avantika met during an interview. It was my birthday that day, and as usual nobody remembered, not even family till the next day. Still I was confident and chilling. We both gave interviews and got selected.

Before the final round, we were 5 people sitting together discussing random things. She suddenly noticed my ID card, caught my DOB, and wished me. After the selection announcement, I gave her a treat.

Among those 5 people there was another girl too, let’s call her Dipika. After pizza she asked me to play badminton the next day, I agreed.

Now Dipika brought her Bengali friend, let’s call her Sneha.

Sneha was extremely extroverted, and me being close to Bengali culture/language, we synced instantly as friends. That too she and Avantika both were among the hottest girls in our university. But with Sneha, it was genuinely platonic from my side.

Avantika on the other hand was different. She played violin, did Kathak, loved maths and research, drew beautifully, was religious, used to take me to temples daily, played PS5😭, we even completed Split Fiction together. One of the smartest women I’ve met.

And yes, she was beautiful too. Looked something like Wamiqa Gabbi, slightly darker complexion than mine, absolute goddess in sarees. Her skin used to glow like gold and hazelnut in sun. Ufff......

So after around a month, we got into a relationship. But she insisted to keep it private, so we did.

Now Sneha since day one was very physically touchy and emotionally attached to me. I never saw it as a threat because friends sometimes behave closely. But because nobody knew about my relationship with Avantika, things slowly became weird.

Sneha would hug me constantly, sleep or cry on my shoulders in library, forcibly sit beside me and indirectly push Avantika away from seats near me. I was studying for govt exams, so she started taking interest in my subjects too.

Avantika obviously started feeling uncomfortable.

Then Sneha jokingly started calling me “pseudohubby” which started as joke where she made this ring with grass and asked me to wear it. One day both of them went together to washroom, and there Sneha told Avantika:

“I wish one day I marry him.”

Final nail in the coffin.

Now comes the weirdest part.

I was lowkey molested by both of them😭

Avantika was my girlfriend so her teasing felt natural and romantic. But Sneha despite me clearly calling her out multiple times for spanking me, touching me inappropriately, saying romantic stuff like “suniye ji” in a wife tone, would always laugh it off as a joke.

And mind you, she was already involved with like 4 guys simultaneously, so from my side she was always a complete no.

Now me and Avantika had a very clear mutual deal:

No sex before marriage.

She communicated her boundaries clearly, and I respected them fully.

But slowly, maybe due to Sneha’s influence or jealousy or possessiveness, something changed in Avantika.

She became insanely romantic and physically aggressive with me. She constanly craved PDA, and my college campus strictly had strict no-PDA policy.

She would intentionally create cozy situations where one thing would lead to another, and every single time I had to stop things before we crossed the final line because I knew once we lost control, we both wouldn’t stop.

And trust me, resisting her was NOT easy😭

She had a very high drive, and so did I. But we had mutually agreed to wait.

The funny part is, the same things she initially called “her boundaries”, she herself slowly started initiating all of them. Third base especially😭

At one point we both literally looked bruised half the time because of bite marks, scratches, hickeys and all.

And yes, I enjoyed it too, not denying that. But it genuinely shocked me how intensely romantic and physical she became over time (less than a week).

She also started becoming very possessive of me in front of Sneha, which eventually turned into this invisible competition between both of them for my attention.

And honestly? A part of me enjoyed it too😭 Obviously I still prioritized my girlfriend.

Sneha eventually had a complete emotional meltdown saying I had changed and cried a lot. Full drama.

Meanwhile Avantika became even more aggressive romantically and wanted me to become more aggressive too during intimate moments. I’m not a sadist but a dominant type naturally, but I won’t lie, I enjoyed being desired that much.

Then college ended.

I moved to Japan for work. She moved to Bangalore.

I asked her to tell her family about us eventually, but suddenly all the north-south, caste, family complications appeared out of nowhere.

After a long painful phase, we broke up.

And till today I genuinely wonder:

Women often complain that men sexualize them too much. But when a man genuinely values companionship, emotional connection, gentleness, friendship, loyalty, patience… why does everything eventually still become so centered around sex and physicality?

Sneha never valued my friendship despite me helping her endlessly.

Avantika too, despite all the emotional bond we had, eventually became overwhelmingly physical towards me.

I managed hospital stuff when her father got a heart attack.

I supported both emotionally beyond limits.

But sometimes it feels like the moment you’re not sexually available enough, all the emotional value gets sidelined.

Do women actually want gentle companionship? Or do they ultimately want someone who dominates them physically and sexually once feelings develop deeply?

Genuine question. Not hating. Just confused.

#TL;DR:

Met a Telugu girl in masters, became close friends, eventually dated with a strict “no sex before marriage” rule. Another female friend got emotionally attached to me too, creating jealousy and tension. Over time my girlfriend became extremely physically intense despite originally setting boundaries herself. Relationship later ended because of distance/family/caste issues. Now I’m confused why emotional companionship in relationships eventually seems to get overtaken by physical desire, even when both people initially valued emotional connection more.

Intro

Hi, 23M here (turning 24 soon). Originally from Bihar (Maithil), though I’ve been living away from home for years because of studies and work.

Not really into casual dating. I’d rather build something slowly, understand each other properly, and if things go well, eventually think about marriage naturally after a few years.

I’m more sapiosexual in nature, personality, intelligence, humor, emotional maturity, and the ability to hold conversations matter a lot more to me than surface-level things.

About Me

6’2”

Tech background, did my grad and post grad from NIRF under 10 engineering institutes, currently building my own thing in game development while also preparing for exams

Into boxing and fitness

Introverted initially, but very talkative once comfortable

Into movies, music, books, psychology, history, geopolitics, philosophy, and random deep conversations, that too I'm multilingual.

I cook pretty well too, I'm a vegetarian, but won't mind my partner's dietary preferences.

Don’t drink or smoke

Family-wise, no caste or religion restrictions from my side. I’m Kushwaha, but open to all backgrounds

People usually assume I’m intimidating initially, but I’m honestly just a calm person with occasional dumb humor and existential thoughts.

Expectations

Age: 20–26

Height above 5’7” is a plus (completely optional)

Complexion and body type genuinely don’t matter much to me

Since I’m into fitness and boxing, I’d appreciate someone who is at least supportive of that lifestyle

Emotionally mature, kind, communicative, and easy to talk to

Delhi preferred, but open to anywhere if the vibe feels right.

And if you’re Maithil too, bonus points already 🤝

Feel free to text and tell me a bit about yourself :)

And please dm with proper intros.

M23 here.

Last year, life kind of flipped on me. Breakup, existential crisis, and I left a high-paying job in Japan to come back to India (Delhi) to prepare for exams and figure out what I actually want to do.

That phase hit hard. I downloaded Reddit, wrote a long emotional post on a UPSC sub, and posted it.

Got a mix of reactions. Some people supported, a lot of people roasted me properly. But from that chaos, I did find one really good friend who genuinely helped me get back on track with studies.

Then something unexpected happened.

A 38F texted me after reading my post. She seemed very kind, supportive. We talked about my situation, prep, life. She told me she’s a UPSC mentor and faculty at a big coaching institute in Delhi.

We exchanged numbers, stayed in touch. For around 2 months, she actually helped me, guided me in subjects, mentored me overall.

One day after my test, she called and asked me to come near a metro. I went, she was waiting in her car. We met, went for lunch, just normal conversation about studies, work, life.

A few days later, we met again. This time she showed up in a saree and honestly looked stunning. Again, nothing unusual, just casual talks, she dropped me back.

Then slowly, she started opening up about her life. Married, two kids, family in a village in UP. Not happy in her marriage. Had an affair earlier with some political figure, didn’t work out.

And then… she said she wanted me to be with her.

Not just casually. She literally offered to take care of everything, my expenses, prep, side hustle, even accommodation. Said she liked my “background” and wanted someone like me around.

I was honestly confused. Not something you expect randomly.

Also, I didn’t see myself fitting that situation at all. I wasn’t in great shape back then (~120 kg), pretty average looking, just a guy trying to fix his life.

It was… tempting in a very strange way. But also felt very wrong.

I don’t believe in cheating, and I didn’t want to get into something like that. So I avoided it, acted a bit dumb around it, didn’t encourage anything.

She kept pushing for a few days, then eventually got irritated and blocked me.

And that was that.

Now I’m back to normal life, still building things, still figuring stuff out… and still somehow struggling in the dating scene.

Sometimes feels like I rejected my only “premium subscription offer” and got cursed after that 😭

If nothing else, life definitely knows how to keep things… interesting.

Hey (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠), 23M from India here.

I’ve been living away from home for a while now, moved around for studies and work, so life’s been a mix of different phases. These days I’m building my own thing, I make video games, so most of my time goes into creating, learning, and figuring things out as I go.

I’m not really into casual setups. I prefer taking things slow, getting to know someone properly, and letting things build naturally. I’m a bit introverted at first, but once I’m comfortable, I can talk about almost anything.

I’m into movies, especially the kind that stay with you. I read here and there, and I enjoy topics like psychology, history, geopolitics, and understanding how the real world works. I also box regularly, more for discipline and balance than anything else.

Outside of that, I’m more of a homebody, but I do enjoy going out for walks, trying good food, or exploring new places once in a while. I cook a lot too, and I’d say I’m pretty good at it, so that’s something I enjoy sharing.

I’ve always liked the idea of having “my person”, someone you can talk to about random things, deeper thoughts, daily life, all of it. I value consistency, respect, and clear communication. I don’t drink or smoke, just not my thing.

Personality-wise, I’m a mix of calm and a bit of chaos. I can be very easygoing, but also someone who gets deeply invested in people I care about. I’ll hype you up when you need it, roast you when you deserve it, and probably make you food when words aren’t enough.

**What I’m looking for:**

Someone kind, emotionally aware, and easy to talk to. I don’t have a strict checklist, just someone genuine.

I’m honestly more drawn to personality and vibe than looks. If we connect well, can talk easily, and enjoy each other’s company, that matters a lot more to me than anything superficial.

I’m open to starting as friends and seeing where things go. No rush, no pressure. If it turns into something more, that’s great.

If this resonates with you, feel free to reach out and tell me a bit about yourself :)